Kate Upton at the 2nd Annual Fashion Media Awards (FMAs) in New York (9/5)
*15 Kate Upton pictures total in the gallery:
Hacked nude celeb pics hit the web
The greatest nude celebrity hacking of all time is upon us. A shitload of celebrities just had nude pics leaked to the web. And we're talking A-listers like: Kate Upton, Selena Gomez, Jennifer Lawrence, Victoria Justice (above), Aubrey Plaza, Kaley Cuoco, Mary Elizabeth Winstead and more. Basically, everyone you've always wanted to see naked is naked. And some, *cough*KateUpton*cough*, are REALLY naked. Some of the celebs are saying the pics are fake (Victoria Justice, but they've already been proven real by internet sleuths), while others are acknowledging that the pics are real, like Mary Elizabeth Winstead:
"To those of you looking at photos I took with my husband years ago in the privacy of our home, hope you feel great about yourselves ... Knowing those photos were deleted long ago, I can only imagine the creepy effort that went into this. Feeling for everyone who got hacked."Jennifer Lawrence's rep said in a statement:
"The authorities have been contacted and will prosecute anyone who posts the stolen photos of Jennifer Lawrence."The hacker somehow accessed all these celebs' iCloud accounts or something -- I'm not exactly sure. All I know is that he's a fucking wizard doing the Lord's work. Predictably, lawyers are going ballistic, so I can't host any of the pics here. But I hear that you may be able to see all the Kate Upton pics here. And Selena Gomez could possibly be found here. And a general roundup of all the pics might possibly be found here. Gonna keep this post bumped for a while, and I'll update as needed (the hacker said more is coming, no pun intended).
Kate Upton is rich, bitch
For the first time in her career, Kate Upton made the Forbes Highest-Earning Models List. According to their estimates, she pulled in $7 million in the past year, good for fifth place. Only $40 million to go to catch Gisele Bundchen, who actually has an ATM machine instead of a vagina. From Forbes:
Kate Upton - $7 millionGotta hand it to Kate. She parlayed huge tits into million of dollars, which is not an easy feat. Oh wait, yes it is. Huge tits are the winning tickets in the genetic lottery of life. Seriously, if you're reading Celebslam right now, you have huge tits, and you didn't make $7 million last year, you are a failure in life. Get off your lazy ass.
It's been a very good year for Kate Upton. A newcomer to the highest-earning models list, Upton cashed in on her Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue covers with a lucrative Bobbi Brown cosmetics contract and Express clothing line signing. Upton was signed after a video of her performing a popular dance known as the "Dougie" at a sports game went viral; she has since landed campaigns for Sam Edelman, David Yurman and Accessorize. Upton, whose curvaceous figure may once have made her an unusual choice for high fashion shoots, has proved her detractors wrong -- the 22-year-old took home an estimated $7 million paycheck before taxes and fees. Her 2014 silver screen debut, The Other Woman, grossed $194 million worldwide.
*30 Kate Upton pictures total in the gallery:
Kate Upton on the set of The Other Woman last year in New York
Cameron Diaz tells the new issue of Hello! magazine that Kate Upton is more than just big ol' titties. Well yeah. She has a pretty nice ass, too. After giving her potion a stir in the cauldron, Cameron said:
"Kate is the greatest - and what's behind the boobs is unbelievable. It's incredible how smart she is and how wise she is and how she sees everything. She doesn't miss a thing. She calculates everything so fast. She's like a bullet, she just shoots it right back and you are like, 'God bless you, you are amazing'."Cameron is totally right. Kate Upton is more than just big tits -- she has a beautiful mind, too. In fact, the first word that springs to mind when I see Kate in a bikini is "brains." Just the other day, I told my friend that I wanted fuck her brains out. Yup, beautiful mind.
*33 Kate Upton pictures total in the gallery:
Kate Upton wishes she had smaller boobs
Let's face it, Kate Upton is famous for one reason: boobs. Looks-wise she's no Cleopatra, but she makes up for it with enthusiasm and a willingness to share her DD gift with the world. Despite that, Kate tells The Sun that she wishes she had smaller boobs. Wait, what?
"I wish I had smaller boobs every day of my life as I love to wear spaghetti tops braless or go for the smallest bikini designs. Every single day, I'm like, 'Oh, man, it would be so much easier,' especially if people didn't constantly bring them up ... In my eyes, Cameron Diaz has the perfect figure."Oh yeah, I'm sure Kate has had many a sleepless night cursing her big funbags. "Damn you for this burden, God. Why couldn't you give me below average tits like Cameron Diaz and perhaps more acne?" C'mon, Kate. Quit sucking up to Cameron. She's on the wrong side of 40 and would could cut your still-beating heart out in a second for its nourishing youthful energy. No, really. Don't turn your back on her.
*30 Kate Upton pictures total in the gallery:
Kate Upton and Cameron Diaz at the UK premiere of The Other Woman at The Curzon Mayfair in London (4/2)
Wait a minute, what? Why is Kate Upton in the frumpy ankle-length dress and Cameron Diaz is in the sexy tight leather dress? April Fools' Day was Tuesday. My penis is so confused right now. I may not be able to jack off for tens of minutes.
*36 Kate Upton and Cameron Diaz pictures total in the gallery: