Kate Upton in her work uniform
Are Kate Upton and Maksim Chmerwhatshisface on the verge of splitting up? Sure, why the hell not. From Radar
It may not be a match made in heaven, after all. Sports Illustrated cover girl Kate Upton's relationship with her ex-Dancing With The Stars boyfriend Maksim Chmerkovskiy has hit a major rough patch less than two months after the pair went public, RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned.
"Maks has been telling friends that he is no longer bringing Kate to a wedding that they were both scheduled to attend together," a source close to the couple dished. "Maks isn't saying anything bad about her, but it's a very telling development that she's no longer accompanying him to the wedding."
Damn right Maksim isn't saying anything bad about Kate. He might be the douchiest member of the Dancing with the Former Stars
cast, but even twinkle toes knows that no reality star has ever talked shit about a legitimate celebrity and lived to tell the tale (go ahead and Google Brandon "Greasy Bear" Davis if you don't believe me). Nope, Maks is gonna be a good boy and do nothing but heap the most loving compliments on Kate and her awesome rack. It's that or he'll be heading back to Siberia before his next Cha Cha with Shelly Long or the dad on Family Matters
or Lenin's corpse or whoever the hell else they plug into that poor excuse for a TV show. I seriously can't believe people actually watch that crap. Now, if you'll pardon me, I have a Storage Wars
marathon to catch.*10 Kate Upton pictures total in the gallery:
Kate Upton in nothing but bodypaint
Here's the Kate Upton bodypaint video that Sports Illustrated
released today. In it, Kate Upton wears nothing but bodypaint. Simple plot, yes, but impressive character development. Four out of Five Erections.*25 Kate Upton bodypaint pictures total in the gallery:
Kate Upton for Beach Bunny
Maksim Chmerkovskiy says he feels lucky to be nailing his girlfriend Kate Upton. Well, duh. I feel lucky enough just to beat off to her. He told told Extra
"Things are going great... I think I got lucky... she's an amazing girl." He added, "Everyone is happy, we are enjoying each other's company."
As for reports that Kate got an apartment to be closer to Maks, he clarified, "I live in New Jersey, she got an apartment in Manhattan."
Well no shit, Maksim is one lucky foreigner. How lucky a bastard is he? He's Kevin Federline lucky, yo. Maks actually might be luckier, because K-Fed infected Britney Spears when she was clearly not the biggest pop star in the world, whereas Kate and those sweet knockers can only get bigger and more popular. This might be the biggest relationship fame exchange since Yoko Ono ran the "me so horny" play on John Lennon, effectively destroying The Beatles.*15 Kate Upton pictures total in the gallery:
Kate Upton returning to her hotel in Paris, France
I know this news may be a bit unsettling, but it turns out that Kate Upton is not perfect. She was spotted leaving a gym in Paris yesterday looking like she walked straight off the set of a Proactiv commercial. This is great news, of course, because it means Kate must have that little bit of self-doubt that even the most confident women have. In other words, I could totally hook up with her if I play it right. "Kate, I'm finally okay with just being your friend and nothing more."
*15 Kate Upton pictures total in the gallery:
Kate Upton and Maksim Chmerkovskiy out and about in the West Village of New York
After months of rumors
, more rumors, and even pregnancy rumors
, Kate Upton has officially gone public with her boyfriend Maksim Chmerkovskiy. That's the two of them holding hands in the West Village late last week. Whatever, dude. Besides fame, fortune, a mysterious Eastern European persona, and the 7% body fat that comes with professional dancing, I don't see what this guy has that I don't.*20 Kate Upton and Maksim Chmerkovskiy pictures total in the gallery:
American model Kate Upton*17 Kate Upton pictures total in the gallery:
Is Kate Upton pregnant?
The New York Daily News
is suggesting that Kate Upton's boyfriend Maksin Chmersomething may have knocked her up. Well either that or she's a fat recovering alcoholic.
Upton and Chmerkovskiy were still on the party circuit [Sunday] night, this time hitting a VMA party at Little Italy hotspot Goldbar.
"There was lots of P.D.A.," says one insider.
Tongues started wagging when some guests said a glowing Upton, still wearing white, appeared to have been sporting a baby bump. Speculation was further fueled by the fact the 21-year-old model didn't drink booze at the bash.
Oh well, it was nice enjoying Kate during her short run on the A-List. I don't mean to be an insensitive prick, but come on, dude. Kate Upton is no Adriana Lima
(who seems to lose weight DURING her pregnancies due to her heathen Brazilian Jujitsu/voodoo). No, I'm sorry to say that Kate gives off fat vibes, so her career as one of the beautiful people is on the line. Now if Kate is serious about staying in the modeling world, she'll need to use her God-given tools -- her fingers -- to take food out instead of shoveling it in. Let's assume the kid gets farted out by May '14, Kate will have an entire month to jam those filthy digits down her neck hole and lose the baby weight by bikini season. The world is watching, Kate, make daddy proud.*30 Kate Upton bikini pictures total in the gallery:
Kate Upton and Lily Aldridge
Kate Upton and Lily Aldridge on their way to dinner at Barbuto in New York (7/30)*20 Kate Upton and Lily Aldridge pictures total in the gallery:
Kate Upton on the set of The Other Woman in Nassau, Bahamas
Here's even more pics of Kate Upton filming The Other Woman
in a bikini (check out pics from last month here
). Cameron Diaz
and Leslie Mann
were also in bikinis, but, meh
-- their boobs don't even add up to a D cup. When you have a juicy cheeseburger in front of you, do you really pay attention to the salad? Put your hand down, Ryan Seacrest.*43 Kate Upton Bahams bikini pictures total in the gallery:
Kate Upton on the set of the The Other Woman in New York
Is Kate Upton secretly a Kardashian or something? From the New York Post
After Kate Upton was spotted dancing till the wee hours Wednesday night with LA Clippers star Blake Griffin, she hung with Chicago Bulls' big man Carlos Boozer and the Brooklyn Nets' Jerry Stackhouse on Thursday night. The three were in a private room at Jay-Z's 40/40 Club watching Game 7 of the NBA finals.
Good Lord, does Kate have a bet going with Team KKKardashian, or are her daddy issues bubbling to the surface? Hey look, it's 2013. Dudes are marrying dudes, cats and dogs are living together, and I'll be damned, women are allowed to hold jobs (I don't get that one either), so this complaint isn't what you guys think it is. Despite Paula Deen's objections (even though she had Lamar Odom on her fantasy waitstaff team), the Kardashians single-handedly made dating the entire NBA mainstream. My problem is that by the time the NBA is finished with Kate and she gets down to my level, there won't be enough vinegar in Italy to tighten up the taco enough for me to touch both sides, and I'm very well hung (just ask my priest).*25 Kate Upton movie set pictures total in the gallery: