Kate Moss in Ibiza (8/1)
Yep, twice. Her butt fell out and her boob fell out. For all you kids out there, there’s a lesson to be learned here. And that lesson is Kate Moss is a whore.
Kate Moss topless! (Sardinia, Italy - 7/12)
I know I should be more excited about topless pics of a supermodel but, *yawn*. I think I’ve seen more of Kate not wearing a shirt than actually wearing one. A lot like my next door neighbor in that respect. That reminds me, she gets up early on Mondays. I’ve got a tree to climb!
Kate Moss is see through
That see-through thingy above is what Kate Moss wore to an art exhibition in Istanbul last night. According to the Daily Mail, Istanbul is 94% Muslim, so for wanting to be killed via flying rocks, I’d say Kate’s dress is a home run.
Bauer-Griffin
My penis is so confused. Pictures of topless supermodels are supposed to bring happiness and joy to my life. So why do I feel like I’m being punished with these Kate Moss pics? I think this is God’s payback for the cookie jar incident when I was a little boy. Yep. Another kid was talking shit so I beat him to death with a cookie jar.
BONUS FACT: Kate Moss was born in 1974. Her breasts? 1939.
A lot more pictures of Kate Moss vacationing in the French Riviera after the jump…
Kate Moss is afraid ex-boyfriend Pete Doherty may sell two videotapes that document the couple’s “unusual daily activities” *coughsextapecough*. The 33-year-old supermodel made a habit of taping everything Pete and her did together and now she’s worried those tapes may fall into the wrong hands. A source told British tabloid The Sun:
“There are still some bits and pieces floating about of Pete with Kate. She has got rid of most of it. Six out of eight tapes have been destroyed. But she wanted to bury the lot before he could humiliate her by selling them or putting them on the Internet. Pete could do what he wants with them.” Referring to the video clips previously posted online, the source adds, “If they made that public, just think what could be on the tapes they held back.” (Source)
Why is Kate worried–no one wants to see her sex tape. If I wanted to see someone having sex with a skeleton, I’d hide in Joel Madden’s closet for the night. All of which begs this question: since Nicole Richie looks dead, is Joel Madden considered a necrophiliac? Yes folks, these are the questions that keep me up at night.
Can we please stop calling Kate Moss a ’supermodel?’ It waters down the greatness of the word. Someone really needs to come up with a new term for these cracked-out models polluting my Internet … I vote me. How does ‘backpagesofthesearscatalogmodel’ sound to you guys? It just rolls off the tongue.
Judging by these pictures taken of Kate Moss last night, she may be [allegedly] using drugs again. The supermodel left a dinner at the China Tang restaurant in London around 9:30 looking “calm and serious.” While Kate lives just a short drive from the restaurant, she arrived home two-and-a-half hours later with her pants covered in a “mysterious” white powder. I haven’t been a detective in some time–not since I was run out of that small town for my combination of big-city swagger and penchant for playing by own set of rules … buuuuut I think these pictures speak for themselves. Or maybe she’s just really into making chocolate chip cookies. Yayyy! Baking soda fight! Baking soda fight!
Kate Moss has lost her spot among the “World’s Sexiest 100 Women” as voted by FHM Magazine. This marks the first time in 10 years the “supermodel” has not appeared on the list. If you care about these sorts of things, Keira Knightley and Sienna Miller are rumored to be very highly ranked atop this year’s list. Regarding Moss, FHM spokesman Dan Cooper told the New York Post:
“She hasn’t looked great as of late. I think the average guy on the street prefers someone that’s a little more womanly.” (Source)
Uh, this story’s about a year too late. She was 87th last year? Seriously? The only list Kate should ever appear 87th on in is the “Top 100 List of Celebrities You Might Mistake for Homeless Junkies if You Randomly Encountered Them on the Street” or maybe the “Top 100 List of Celebrities Whose Appearance is Proof that God is Totally Fucking With Us.” My girlfriend is on the last list–but in a good way. Trust me, it is possible to have a waist that skinny with such large natural breasts.
Supermodel/drug addict Kate Moss’ four-year-old daughter Lila Grace is already a little diva. Moss reveals in the latest UK issue of Vogue Magazine that Lila would rather talk fashion than listen to a good ol’ fashioned bedtime story:
“(Lila) comes in at bedtime and says, ‘Mummy, do you think this is a good look?’ and then she has a fashion crisis. I say, ‘You will wear what I tell you’, but she says she is the adult of the bedroom. “Now we lay the clothes out before she goes to bed, but then she goes, ‘Mum, I need options.’ She’s a mini-me.” (Source)
Oh crap, just what the world needs, a mini-version of Kate Moss who’s already exhibiting diva-like behavior. You know how we euthanize dogs that exhibit aggressive tendencies at a young age–because we don’t want them mauling some poor schlub mailman when they get older. Well shouldn’t we be doing the same thing with children? Now don’t get all pissed off at me, it’s not as bad as it sounds–of course I don’t mean we should literally euthanize little children, I mean we should shoot them. Maybe in the head or something … My bad, I guess that was as bad as it sounded.
Pete Doherty and Kate Moss entered a London rehab clinic yesterday to “battle their demons side by side.” The couple was noticed by passers-by as they entered the Capio Nightingale Hospital only a few block away from Kate’s home in North West London. Kate and Pete are no strangers to rehab, both having spent time in a facility before. According to a source:
“They arrived together and will be supporting each other. They looked very much a couple as they came in and she is clearly worried about him.”
I love all the romance surrounding Valentine’s Day. A dozen red roses here, a candlelit dinner there, a his and her stay at the rehab clinic to kick a heroine addiction. Nothing says love like walking hand in hand with your significant other to get your daily methadone injection. The first time Kate and Pete sneak away together to get their fix, they should interlock their arms while injecting each other. With a romantic gesture such as that, why even buy roses?
UPDATE: The Sun has an awesome video of Pete up today and it’s not of him trout fishing
