Kate Gosselin

Kate Gosselin in a bikini

TLC has started airing previews for the new season of Kate Plus 8 this December, and . . . um . . . I find Kate Gosselin attractive in a bikini. There. I said it. I'm gonna have to live with that the rest of my life . . . oh my god what have I done . . . *jumps off bridge*

Paparazzi photos from Monday, July 2

Kate Gosselin leaving Rita's Ice Cream in Wernersville, Pennsylvania (pics start here)

Sharon Stone leaving Barney's New York in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Danny Trejo on the set of Machete Kills in Austin, TX (pics start here)

Courteney Cox arriving at LaGuardia Airport in New York for a flight (pics start here)

Kourtney Kardashian out and about in L.A. (pics start here)

Jennifer Garner and her daughter Seraphina at a park in Pacific Palisades (pics start here)

Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise at a movie theater in New York (pics start here)

Brooke Burke leaving Starbucks in Malibu (pics start here)

Jordana Brewster and her husband Andrew Form leaving a restaurant in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Kelly Osbourne out and about in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Marion Cotillard out and about in New York (pics start here)

Billy Ray Cyrus running errands in L.A. (pics start here)

*122 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

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Kate Gosselin and her new facelift

"Sorry kids, Mommy spent your college fund on a facelift because Mommy needs to shake the cobwebs out and get laid." From Us Weekly:
Has Kate Gosselin gone under the knife -- again? When the former reality star recently reported for her first day as a CouponCabin.com blogger, she revealed a new face to go with her new gig. And it's not the first time the formerly full-figured brunette has freshened up.

"She's consumed with her appearance," a source says of Gosselin.

To keep her youthful appearance, the single mom of eight -- who got a tummy tuck in 2007 and breast implants in 2009 -- relies on thrice-weekly tanning sessions. Last June, she even gave herself Botox injections! (The result: unnaturally arched eyebrows). New York City plastic surgeon Jon Turk tells Us Weekly that based on recent photos, it looks like Gosselin's gone more extreme this time: A defined jawline and changed eye shape "suggest a facelift."

It's not surprising, the source tells Us: "Kate wants to look 10 years younger."
You know what? I can't blame Kate for trying to fight off Mother Nature and Father Time. They make quite the formidable tag team. Too many women tend to let go after the vag hole gets turned into an open face pastrami on rye, but Kate is at least trying to stay mildly attractive. Honestly, you ladies can really learn a lesson from Ms. Gosselin. The lesson is that no matter how many kids you fart out of your catcher's mitt, don't give up on your looks until the bitter end. Remember that this is a man's world, and all you have are your looks. Now go ahead and make me that sandwich when you're done with the laundry, honey.

Kate Gosselin's son and daughter leaving school in Reading, Pennsylvania (11/3)

I don't know what the hell's going on with this picture of Kate Gosselin's son laying under her van yesterday. I think he's being punished. For not finishing his apple slices at lunch, Kate's going to back over him. But just once. She's not a monster.

*7 pictures total in the gallery:

  • Kate Gosselin Kid Under Car 1
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Kate Gosselin is not happy

Kate Gosselin ripped into her son (#5 I believe) while dropping him off at school yesterday in Reading, Pennsylvania. Deserved it, too, the little fucker. That'll be the last time he cracks a smile without permission.

*11 Kate Gosselin pictures total in the gallery:

  • Kate Gosselin Yelling 1
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Kate Gosselin is a great mom

Kate Gosselin is endangering her children with her erratic driving -- including a recent speeding ticket for driving 88 mph? You don't say. Are we talking about the right Kate Gosselin here? She's always seemed like such an angel. A source told the National Enquirer:
"Kate's hell on wheels. She's had FOUR different traffic violations in the past two years. Lead-foot Kate has become even more of a speed demon since she started driving a $50,000 Audi sports car. More times than not, she talks herself out of the ticket with an excuse, But the most upsetting part of her erratic driving is that she goes over the speed limit when the kids are in the car. It's got friends and family scared to death.

"[Jon Gosselin] fears for his kids when they ride with Kate and has lectured her about speeding. But she considers it just part of being a hurried mother of eight and doesn't see it as putting lives at risk." (Print Edition - 10/17)
Is reckless driving really the most dangerous thing Kate's exposing her kids to? You'd think her voice would be at the top of that list. Oh, and if you're wondering how Kate is able to talk her way out of a ticket, it's really quite simple -- all she does is open her mouth. For most guys, listening to Kate speak is like watching an episode of Cougar Town: unbearable.

*17 Kate Gosselin pictures total in the gallery:

  • Kate Gosselin Bad Driver 1
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Kate Plus 8 canceled

Kate Gosselin's show on TLC has officially been canceled. OH JOY! OH JOY THIS JOYOUS DAY! JOY! From People:
"TLC has decided not to renew another season of Kate Plus 8," a network rep told PEOPLE in a statement. "By the end of this season Kate Plus 8 will have hit the 150 episode mark (including Jon & Kate Plus 8); an exceptional milestone. TLC hopes to check in with Kate and the family periodically with specials in the future."
What was The Learning Channel doing airing Kate Plus 8 in the first place? The only thing I ever learned from that show was to be sure to use a condom. Of course now that Kate's no longer going to be on TV, the reality is that she probably only has two paths in life available to her. She could follow in Octomom's footsteps and start doing porn, or she could do what most women with 8 children in the U.S. seem to do: join the Mormon Church.

*10 Kate Gosselin pictures total in the gallery:

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Kate Gosselin arriving at NBC studios in New York for an appearance on Today (8/8)

Will someone please just jump Kate Gosselin's bones already? Like John Mayer, for example. I'm sure he's not too busy. Hell, he could consider it a charity poke. It might even be a write-off. Anyways, Kate told Ann Curry on Today earlier this week:
"I'm definitely ready to start dating," said Gosselin, who added she'd like to get some of her best friends to round up any eligible men. "There are a lot of obstacles for me. The odds of me bumping into someone are rare."

"I have eight kids, I have a crazy work schedule, I'm known," said Gosselin. "It's sort of daunting when I think about the obstacles. I'm hoping that person is out there, because the kids on a daily basis are just begging me to get married again. They bring it up all the time."
If Kate's going to get into a relationship again, she's going to have to find the right kind of guy. And by right kind of guy, I mean one who's deaf, blind, and lobotomized -- so basically anyone in the Senate. Of course when Kate says she's "definitely ready to start dating," what she really means is that she's ready to get laid. Sorry Kate, if you want some ass, you're going to have to do what most celebrities in Hollywood do when they want to get some: exploit their fame pay for it.

*17 Kate Gosselin pictures total in the gallery:

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I'd probably do her

I don't know why we still care about Kate Gosselin's love life, but I'm running with it. Kate told People last week that she's looking for an older man (read: someone with money):
"I want somebody who is older, at least in their 40s. I can't be bothered with these little boys ... It would be really great to find somebody in real life who can handle the stress around here and who can love my kids the way I do. I want someone who is strong and smart and driven. I think those are the best qualities ... I'm at the point where I'm like, 'Okay, there's got to be somebody out there who would work.' If it's meant to be, it'll be. And if not, then whatever. I'm happy as I am."
Does Kate really have the option of being picky? Saying that she only wants to date someone in their 40s is narrowing down her options quite a bit. With eight kids and a voice that sounds like a WWII air-raid siren, the only requirement Kate should have is that the guy is deaf breathing. Besides, the type of guy Kate's probably interested in (established, rich) doesn't date women like her -- she's over 25.

*30 Kate Gosselin pictures total in the gallery:

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At least she has a nice rack

I have a little update to that story I wrote about in April about Kate Gosselin's former marriage counselor suing her for unpaid fees. I don't want to spoil the surprise, but I'm getting all warm and tingly inside. From the Associated Press:
A northeastern Pennsylvania judge says reality TV star Kate Gosselin must pay a local marriage therapist more than $10,000 in a dispute over counseling.

Sylvia Lafair contends she flew to Los Angeles at Gosselin's request to counsel her and then-husband Jon Gosselin in March 2009. The pair starred in "Jon and Kate Plus 8" before divorcing. Lafair sued last year after Kate Gosselin didn't pay for the services or travel. Gosselin testified last week that she never had a contract with Lafair, who heads Creative Energy Options in White Haven, Pa. Gosselin lives about 50 miles away in Sinking Spring.
In some ways, you can almost see things from Kate's perspective on this. Why pay a marriage counselor thousands of dollars when her advice couldn't produce results? Of course if Kate always used this logic, she might never have given Jon any money after the divorce -- since without IVF his penis apparently couldn't produce results either.

In conclusion, Kate Gosselin is the fucking devil.

*7 Kate Gosselin pictures total in the gallery:

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