Archive: Karolina Kurkova

Karolina Kurkova

Karolina Kurkova at the 43rd Annual Academy of Country Music Awards at the MGM Grand Hotel in Las Vegas, NV (5/18)

[WENN]

Karolina Kurkova

Czech supermodel Karolina Kurkova

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Karolina Kurkova at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show (11/2007)

She’s gonna be alone today because guys are afraid of her. The Victoria’s Secret Angel told the New York Daily News:

“Guys are intimidated by me because I’m loud and I’m tall. And I’m not afraid to talk about things. So they’re like, m’Uh, I don’t think so.’ I’m waiting for a guy to take me to do something super-crazy that I’d never expect, like bungee jumping. Dinner is nice, but everyone does that. I’d really like something unexpected.” (Source)

I can think of something “unexpected” I’d like to give Karolina for Valentine’s Day . . . an unwanted pregnancy! — I swear I didn’t know there were holes in the condom. Now if she REALLY wanted to do something “super-crazy” and outrageous, I’d be happy to watch her try and spell at a first grade level. You can’t imagine what an absolute turn on it is to watch a supermodel try and spell “tree” until you’ve tried it. Yes, I’m sick.

Karolina Kurkova in St. Barth (12/14)

Looks like Karolina Kurkova is still in St. Barth shooting for the Victoria’s Secret catalog. Here’s hoping these pictures are within the first 15 pages of the next catalog. I’ve never reached the 16th page.

BONUS HISTORY LESSON!: St. Barth is the “Paris Hilton at an orgy” of islands. It was first claimed by France in 1648, passed to Sweden in 1784, and passed back to France in 1878. Both came on her face.

Karolina Kurkova at a photo shoot in St. Barth (12/12)

Damn, I’m moving to St. Barth! The last time I stripped down naked in a car here in California I got six months in jail. Typical police bullshit, too, hassling a guy who was just trying to sleep it off for the night instead of getting behind the wheel and driving drunk. And I know the car wasn’t technically “mine” and was in a locked garage and that garage was behind a ten foot security wall but, c’mon, that’s just semantics.

NOTE: I don’t want to be a marine biologist when I grow up, I wanna be the guy that bends down to put the shoes on the supermodel. Goodbye cane with mirror fastened to the bottom, hello legitimization!

NOTE II: Why yes I do have pics of Karolina at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.

Karolina Kurkova at the 2007 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

I wore the same thing to my 20-year high school reunion. The feathers were actually bigger but you get the point.

Yep, there she is … uhhh doing that thing she’s always doing. What a talent!

Karolina Kurkova for La Senza lingerie

More of Karolina after the jump…

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