Karolina Kurkova is pregnant Victoria's Secret supermodel Karolina Kurkova announced today that she's pregnant. Her rep told
People:
"Supermodel and actress Karolina Kurkova and her fiancé, film producer Archie Drury have announced that they are expecting their first child. The couple have been together for a little over a year."
There's a lesson to be learned here fellas. And that lesson is this: I don't care if you're about to bang a supermodel, if Magnum condoms aren't available at the store, don't settle for the regular size. Because those things will tear every time and then nine months later, BAM, kid. One night of pleasure, 18 years of responsibility. This is a disaster.
Miranda Kerr and Karolina Kurkova attemping to hail a taxi in New York (5/3)
I try to keep it lighthearted around here for the most part, but for some reason this really bothered me. Racism usually does. Got your attention now? Look at Miranda Kerr and Karolina Kurkova trying in vain to hail a taxi last weekend in New York. As a society, how long are we gonna put up with this shit? How long are we gonna put up with blatant discrimination against white supermodels? This needs to end.
The Costume Institute Gala was sexy Believe it or not, not everyone at the Costume Institute Gala last night
dressed like a
complete jackass. The list of winners (there's 147 pictures
on PAGE 2. This post took me god damn forever to edit and upload so do me a favor and click on some of them):
Miranda Kerr
Bar Refaeli
Kate Bosworth
Blake Lively
Cindy Crawford
Marion Cotillard
Diane Kruger
Heidi Klum
Jessica Biel
Karolina Kurkova
Rachel Bilson
Victoria Beckham
Jessica Alba
Gisele
Selma Blair
Kate Beckinsale
Eva Longoria
Ivanka Trump
Melania Trump
Rosario Dawson
Good god. It reads like a hit list of chicks I routinely beat off to.
Doutzen Kroes and Karolina Kurkova in Miami (11/14)
The fashion world was rocked yesterday when it was learned that Victoria's Secret "Angel" Karolina Kurkova lacks a belly button. Apparently a belly button is digitally added after all of Karolina's photoshoots. Freaky. I've seen the Sci-Fi channel. I know what this means. Karolina's not human. She's some sort of sexy alien swimsuit model sent to earth to generate widespread chaos and overthrow society. Which I'm totally cool with. I'm willing to give you a lot of leeway if you have nice tits.
Karolina Kurkova
Czech supermodel Karolina Kurkova
Karolina Kurkova at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show (11/2007)
She's gonna be alone today because guys are afraid of her. The Victoria's Secret Angel told the New York Daily News:
"Guys are intimidated by me because I'm loud and I'm tall. And I'm not afraid to talk about things. So they're like, m'Uh, I don't think so.' I'm waiting for a guy to take me to do something super-crazy that I'd never expect, like bungee jumping. Dinner is nice, but everyone does that. I'd really like something unexpected." (Source)
I can think of something "unexpected" I'd like to give Karolina for Valentine's Day . . . an unwanted pregnancy! -- I swear I didn't know there were holes in the condom. Now if she REALLY wanted to do something "super-crazy" and outrageous, I'd be happy to watch her try and spell at a first grade level. You can't imagine what an absolute turn on it is to watch a supermodel try and spell "tree" until you've tried it. Yes, I'm sick.
Karolina Kurkova in St. Barth (12/14)
Looks like Karolina Kurkova is still in St. Barth shooting for the Victoria's Secret catalog. Here's hoping these pictures are within the first 15 pages of the next catalog. I've never reached the 16th page.
BONUS HISTORY LESSON!: St. Barth is the "Paris Hilton at an orgy" of islands. It was first claimed by France in 1648, passed to Sweden in 1784, and passed back to France in 1878. Both came on her face.
Karolina Kurkova at a photo shoot in St. Barth (12/12)
Damn, I'm moving to St. Barth! The last time I stripped down naked in a car here in California I got six months in jail. Typical police bullshit, too, hassling a guy who was just trying to sleep it off for the night instead of getting behind the wheel and driving drunk. And I know the car wasn't technically "mine" and was in a locked garage and that garage was behind a ten foot security wall but, c'mon, that's just semantics.
NOTE: I don't want to be a marine biologist when I grow up, I wanna be the guy that bends down to put the shoes on the supermodel. Goodbye cane with mirror fastened to the bottom, hello legitimization!
NOTE II: Why yes I do have pics of Karolina at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.
