Kanye West's says he ain't into the butt stuff
Kanye West addressed those butt play claims made by his ex Amber Rose during his little twitter outburst earlier this week . . . by convincing absolutely no one he doesn't like fingers in his butt. Seriously Kanye, just own it. Work it into your next album. "Bitches these days be mad fickle, they go run their mouth 'cuz you like a little prostate tickle." That's a fucking hit right there.
NOTE TO SELF: Don't EVER shake Kim Kardashian's hand . . .
Background: Before marrying Kim Kardashian, Kanye West dated model Amber Rose for a few years. When she split with Kanye, she started dating Wiz Khalifa in 2011, had a kid with him in 2013, married him a few months later, and then filed for divorce a year later.
Anyways, Kanye and Wiz are fighting today on twitter and Kanye actually played the "You Fathered a Child with a Woman of Questionable Morals" card. Kanye West. Kim Kardashian's husband. That guy. See, this is why I'm convinced there's a parallel universe. This is clearly a version of Kanye that doesn't know what the hell's been going on on Earth for the past five years. LIFE PRO TIP: Don't question a man's love for a stripper when you married a porn star.
Kim Kardashian out and about in Studio City (11/9)
You probably didn't hear that Kim Kardashian gave birth to her son on Saturday because her slutty half-sisters are more famous that she is now. And since no one cares about her anymore, she had to name her son something ridiculous to generate headlines. Saint West. Kim Kardashian's son is a Saint. I hope this means he has divine powers. "Sorry ladies, I can't turn water into wine, but I can turn wine into date rape *wink*"
*20 Kim Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:
Kim Kardashian is this vain
Kim Kardashian posted a picture of her and Kanye West a few days ago to Instagram, but then quickly deleted it and reposted it a little bit later. Thanks to the power of the save button, we now know exactly how vain this bitch is: roughly, a quarter of an inch. Kim, there's no need to photoshoot away such minor imperfections in your photo under the false assumption that we'll all think less of you. We couldn't possibly think less of you, silly.
Kanye West and Kim Kardashian out for lunch at Nobu in Malibu (7/11)
This'll never happen, but apparently Kanye West is trying to rally his famous Hidden Hills' neighbors together and establish a no fly zone over their neighborhood. Good luck with that. The only way Kanye is getting a no fly zone over his house is if he gets elected President. Aw crap, I shouldn't put any ideas into his head. From In Touch:
"Kanye has turned up on the doorsteps of Drake, LeAnn Rimes and David Boreanaz, asking for support," an insider exclusively tells In Touch Weekly. "Everyone thinks it's a great plan, so he's getting a petition ready. He's determined to make this happen."Oh yeah, Kanye wants a no fly zone to "protect North and Kim." He wants to protect himself. You know how much it hurts when a plane flies into your head?
"Kanye is all about protecting North and Kim," the insider explains.
*10 Kanye West pictures total in the gallery:
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West at a fundraiser for Hillary Clinton in L.A. (8/6)
I never thought I would say this in a million years, but I'm voting for Donald Trump.
Paparazzi photos from Wednesday, July 29
Kanye West arriving on a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)
Victoria's Secret model Zo Nowak leaving Polish TV station TVN's studios in Warsaw (pics start here)
Katharine McPhee out and about in West Hollywood (pics start here)
Lena Dunham on the set of Girls in New York (pics start here)
Mexican TV weather girl Yanet García in New York's Times Square (pics start here)
Halle Berry shopping with her daughter Nahla in Beverly Hills (pics start here)
Ashlee Simpson and her husband Evan Ross leaving Rocco's Tavern in Studio City (pics start here)
Selena Gomez arriving for a dinner at Chiltern Firehouse in London (pics start here)
Selma Blair and her son Arthur leaving The Six Restaurant in Studio City (pics start here)
Catherine Missal at the premiere of Vacation at the Regency Village Theatre in Westwood (pics start here)
Tom Cruise leaving The Jon Stewart Show in New York (pics start here)
Holly Hagan at the Ego Professional Party at the Light Lounge in London (pics start here)
*102 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:
Reasons why the Glastonbury Music Festival in England is better than the Coachella Music Festival in the U.S.:
- During Kanye West's performance at Coachella this year, not one person flew a flag of Kim Kardashian sucking Ray-J's dick. Not one. Your move, 2016 crowd at Coachella
Kim Kardashian in the June issue of Vogue Brazil
Ugh, here we go again. On last night's mid-season finale of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Kim Kardashian revealed she was pregnant with baby #2. Kanye West is believed to be the father, but we'll have to wait for official confirmation on that. *crosses fingers and hopes baby is born half-Mexican*
In all seriousness, congratulations to Kim, Kanye, and Kim's moms Kris and Bruce. Lucky little kid -- twice the grandmas means twice the presents!
*5 Kim Kardashian pictures total in the gallery: