Kim Kardashian new handpainted Birkin bag
Kim Kardashian instagrammed a picture of her Christmas present from Kanye West, an Hermes Birkin bag custom painted by artist George Condo. I honestly thought it was a gag gift when I first saw it, but then Kim was spotted proudly carrying it around Beverly Hills yesterday. My mom always taught me that if I don't have anything nice to say, I shouldn't say anything at all. Fuck that. That thing is the tackiest, most hideous thing I've seen in my life. It looks like something the on-set doctor would carry for the filming of a gangbang. In other words, it's perfect for Kim!
*30 Kim Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:
Kim Kardashian shopping in Beverly Hills (12/16)
Kanye West is dropping $250k on making sure that Kim Kardashian always looks her best on his current Yeezus tour. Notice I didn't say "always looks pretty" -- because she's not. She's starting to develop that weird plastic Joker look to her face that seems to afflict those that have lived with Bruce Jenner for 5+ years. From Radar:
"Kanye has told Kim he will spare no expense to make her look ready to go to a major photo shoot whenever she desires. So, Kim's hair stylist, make-up artist, and stylist all based in Los Angeles, are on call 24/7, ready to get on a private jet to be whisked to her location," a source close to the couple tells Radar.Well, will ya' look at that. For a guy who brags incessantly about how good he has it, Kanye seems a little insecure over his porn star baby mamma's looks. I don't blame him. I've seen a few of the phony-makeupless pics that Fatso's allowed to be released over the years, so I definitely know the world of hurt that Kanye would rather forget. If dog-faced Kanye West wants to keep Kim under wraps, you know it's hardcore. Now I see why Yeezy wants to embark on a 10-year-tour once this one is over -- not that it makes a difference. As long as there's money in the air, it's not that easy to throw a Kardashian off your trail.
"Kim only trusts her team to make her look gorgeous and doesn't want to work with outsiders. This doesn't come cheap, and Kanye will shell out $250,000 just while he is on tour for Kim's glam squad. The money doesn't mean anything to him because Kanye wants his lady to look perfect."
*20 Kim Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:
Kanye West leaving his home in Miami (11/30)
The good news? An amazing 4,500 people attended Kanye West's concert at the Sprint Center in Kansas City on Tuesday night. The bad news? The arena holds 19,250. That's 77% undersold. Ouch. At least traffic wasn't too bad trying to leave the arena. From the Kansas City Star:
The most shocking aspect of Kanye West's spectacular concert Tuesday night at the Sprint Center wasn't another suspect remark from the brash rapper. The meager attendance of less than 4,500 seemed inconceivably small for one of the most vital artists in popular music. West almost certainly could have filled the Sprint Center five years ago.If you think this is more people in Kansas City not looking Music instead of Kanye becoming a Kardashian and losing all credibility, consider this:
- October 13, 2007: Elton John performed the inaugural concert at the arena. Tickets sold it in 90 minutes.
- November 5-14, 2007. Garth Brooks performed nine shows. All were sold out in less than two hours.
- March 17, 2012: 18,000+ attended a concert by Jason Aldean.
*5 Kanye West pictures total in the gallery:
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West shopping in Miami (11/29)
Kanye West and Kim Kardashian have allegedly taken up yoga to spice up their sex life. But don't get your hopes up because it may be a few months before the sex tape leaks. So be patient. A source told OK!:
"Kim says if their bodies are more flexible, it will make their love life even better. She has convinced him that it's good for his state of mind and if he finds inner peace, he will be even more creative ... Kanye likes to see himself as spiritual and a great thinker, and suddenly he's getting all enthusiastic about Buddhism and finding his karma.""Yada yada yada want to make their love life even better blah blah blah..."
Translation: "Kanye West ain't hung like Reggie Bush or Brandy's little brother..."
I'm loving this. It's clear to me that the porn star has issues with Kanye's lack of drilling power and/or stamina. A humiliating fact for Kanye the Great (self-appointed), because he had to know that, at the first sign of trouble, fatso would take her complaints to the media -- after all, she has the subtlety and grace of a starving hyena. I can't wait to see Kanye's reaction when a video of his shortcomings is "stolen" and sold to the Vivid guys. Hopefully Team KKK has the grace and dignity to at least wait until after the new year, when things get slow for me.
*30 Kimye pictures total in the gallery:
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West in the music video for Bound2
THE WIND RECOGNIZES MY GREATNESS AND THUS PROPELS ME FORWARD WHEN I DRIVE AGAINST IT #yeezus #pornstarlove
Kanye West's new music video is fucking hilarious
WANTED: Actress for A-list rapper's new music video that you'd swear was a Coors Light commercial if you only watched the first 30 seconds. Must be willing to have sex with said rapper cowgirl style on his motorcycle as he rides through the desert southwest rapping about having sex with you. Video may possibly be an elaborate troll, but is sure to provide a career boost. Lack of shame PREFERRED. Prior sex tape experience a MUST. Inquire within.
CHECK OUT THE UNCENSORED VIDEO FOR BOUND2 ON PAGE 2...
*17 Kim Kanye music video pictures total in the gallery:
Kanye West and Scott Disick leaving Maxfield in L.A. (11/13)
Awww, look. Kanye West and Scott Disick are walking around L.A. in matching shirts. How cute. So at what point does Kanye reveal that he secretly has a pussy? Before the wedding? After? I HAVE THE GREATEST SECRET PUSSY IN THE HISTORY OF SECRET PUSSIES.
*10 Kanye West and Scott Disick pictures total in the gallery:
Paparazzi photos from Saturday, October 26 and Sunday, October 27
Kanye West and Kim Kardashian celebrating her 33rd birthday at Tao Nightclub in Las Vegas (pics start here)
Cacee Cobb out for a hike in Runyon Canyon in L.A. (pics start here)
Isla Fisher at the AIF Breakthrough Awards in L.A. (pics start here)
Taylor Swift leaving a gym in West Hollywood (pics start here)
Emmanuelle Chriqui shopping in Beverly Hills (pics start here)
Charlize Theron leaving the Beverly Hills Hot Springs Spa (pics start here)
Ashley Tisdale shopping in Beverly Hills (pics start here)
Rosario Dawson leaving Barney's New York in Beverly Hills (pics start here)
Holly Madison at Mr. Bones Pumpkin Patch in West Hollywood (pics start here)
Kat Von D shopping for art supplies in L.A. (pics start here)
Salma Hayek on the set of How to Make Love Like an Englishman in L.A. (pics start here)
Ashley Benson leaving The Gym on Nemo in West Hollywood (pics start here)
*103 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:
Kim Kardashian and her 15-cart ring
A fool and his money are soon parted. From the New York Daily News:
Kanye proposed with a perfect, D flawless cushion cut diamond and worked with famed jeweler Lorraine Schwartz on the ring. According to Forevermark Diamond expert Adelaide Polk-Bauman, such a ring would set West back $7 million to $8 million. "This is exceptionally rare. Very few places in the world have diamonds such as that."And the winner is . . . celebrity designer of tasteless jewelry to tacky stars, Lorraine Schwartz. Come on, don't tell me you guys thought that nutty Kanye would plunk down $8 million out of his own pocket in an effort to impress the world's most mainstream porn star. The only thing that impresses Kim is Kanye's ability to back his way into fame (unlike Kim, who had fame shot onto her face and chest by Ray J). That money is a mere bag of shells compared to the free advertising I'm giving Lorraine by putting her name in this post. I told you before, this whole relationship is just another front on Kris Jenner's war on grace and civility, with Kim as her Erwin Rommel -- minus the snappy uniform.
*5 Kim Kardashian ring pictures total in the gallery:
Kanye West proposes to Kim Kardashian
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are officially engaged. The greatest human being to ever live, according to himself, popped the question in front of friends and family last night on Kim's 33rd birthday at AT&T Park in San Francisco (the two are in the Bay Area for Kanye's performance tonight in San Jose). As Kanye got down on one knee with the obscene 15-carat Lorraine Schwartz diamond ring, the scoreboard flashed "PLEEEASE MARRY MEEE!!!" with Kim accepting. A 50-piece orchestra was on hand to play songs from Lana Del Rey, Keri Hilson, Ne-Yo, and of course, Kanye himself. Everything was perfect. It was what every little girl dreams er third engagement would be like. Congrats, you two.
*5 Kim Kanye engagement pictures total in the gallery: