Kanye West

Angela Martini at the 2011 CFDA Fashion Awards at Alice Tully Hall in New York (6/6)

Remember those pics I posted a few months ago of Kanye West's ex/stalker Angela Martini not wearing underwear at the CFDA Awards? (NSFW pics in the gallery) We're now finding out that she wasn't even invited to the event, and she wasn't wearing underwear because she was hoping to run into Kanye. A woman's gotta be prepared. The New York Daily News says:

According to the anonymous tipster, the hottie is still infatuated with West. Martini allegedly even "visited a fortune teller to see if she will be with" West in the future." And when she didn't get the answer she wanted, the tipster wrote, "she had a fit and stormed out."

Another insider, who has provided us with accurate information about [Angela] Martini in the past, says the fortune teller incident is accurate and adds that Martini crashed the CFDA awards in June in hopes of encountering West. (The rapper presented an award to Celine designer Phoebe Philo.) Martini was unsuccessful in her quest. Yet another source who knows Martini tells us: "Angela is definitely still obsessed with Kanye," and upset that the hip-hop star is rumored to have "moved on."

Wow, what a surprise. An obsessed psycho stalker went to a fortune teller to get guidance on her future. Next we'll be "shocked" to hear that Angela's been making a voodoo doll out of Kanye's hair trimmings and toe jam. You see, this is why I almost never get involved with supermodels anymore. You pull down your pants to show them that there actually is such a thing as a 12" penis and they never leave you alone again.

*11 Angela Martini pictures total in the gallery:

Angela Martini looks really good in lingerie

Remember yesterday when I said how fun it is being Kanye West because of all the model pussy he gets. Well it's only fun when the models don't stalk you like some psycho. From the New York Post:

Model chaser Kanye West has at least one ex-beauty queen following him around town. Miss Universe Albania 2010 Angela Martini, who was linked to West in the spring, was barred from his "Watch the Throne" album launch after-party at the Darby the other night. Sources say Martini cozied up to one of West's producers so she could attend his earlier listening party at the Hayden Planetarium, but West nixed her from the after-party. Last month, the brunette, represented by Elite Model Management, rushed over to Greenhouse after Rihanna's concert when she heard West was partying there, but sources say West didn't want to see her. Another source said, "She eats at his favorite restaurant, Niko, near his SoHo apartment just to bump into him. She says they're in love."

I hope Kanye's not complaining about being stalked by an international supermodel. Most celebrities get stalked by overweight, over-the-hill white dudes who wouldn't even leave their mother's basement if it was on fire (AKA Celebslam writers). Frankly, Kanye should just be grateful for the fact that someone's actually interested in him for something other than a cameo appearance on Little People, Big World.

*37 Angela Martini pictures total in the gallery:

Being Kanye West is fun

And I don't mean because he gets to wear a lot of gold chains like Mr. T -- though that is cool as hell . . . I'm talking about supermodel pussy of course. Lots of it. From the New York Post:

How does Kanye West have enough energy to promote his new album "Watch the Throne" and constantly chase supermodels? West was spotted having an "intimate dinner" with Australian supermodel Sian Honeybell at La Bottega in the Maritime Hotel the other night. Spies say West and Honeybell split a burrata caprese and an artichoke salad to start, and then she followed it with a pizza robiola while he ate rigatoni with peas and prosciutto. "They downed plenty of Pinot Grigio," a spy said. West seems to have a roster of models on his "to do" list and has recently been cozying up to Victoria's Secret models including Kate Upton, Candice Swanepoel and Selita Ebanks. On Monday night, he was chatting up gorgeous Romanian model Alina Puscau at his album after-party at The Darby.

This is why everyone wants to be a multimillionaire recording artist. Because even if you're a 5'2" egotistical douche that looks like a 34-year-old version of Urkel, you STILL have hot supermodels lining up to bang you. The real question here though is what is wrong with this Sian chick? If she wants to get screwed by a guy from Chicago with a God complex, she doesn't need to hook up with Kanye. She just needs to become an American citizen.

*5 Kanye West pictures total in the gallery:

Shermine Shahrivar in St. Barts in 2009

Kanye West has upgraded from Miss Albania (pics here) to Miss Europe. That makes complete sense. Albania's per capita GDP is only $7,453. That's pretty pathetic. From the New York Daily News:

Angela Martini missed her flight to Cannes on Wednesday night - and it's probably a good thing. Had Miss Universe Albania 2010 actually jetted to the Croisette, she might have caught Kanye West making time with another beauty queen: Miss Europe 2005 Shermine Shahrivar.

A source in the South of France tells us the hip-hop artist was cozy with Shahrivar, who's of Iranian descent but now lives in the U.S. and has modeled for American Apparel. She was recently linked with "Twilight" actor Xavier Samuel. The knife-eyed brunette met West at the poolside VIP area at the after-party for amfAR's "Cinema Against AIDS" fund-raiser at the Hotel du Cap in nearby Antibes.

Our source says West and Shahrivar "kind of avoided each other" for part of the night, but eventually slunk off "to a couch by themselves." They left "hand in hand," around 2:30 a.m., the source adds. We're also hearing that West and Shahrivar were together at the Cannes club restaurant Baoli on Tuesday night.

Don't get a big head Kanye. There's still one thing that's being stuck into more models than you: their index fingers. The truth though is that seeing this self-absorbed loud-mouth constantly pull hot international ass is frustrating. If I'd known when I was younger that becoming someone like Kanye would lead to untold women and riches, I never would have finished college growing.

*10 Shermine Shahrivar pictures total in the gallery:

Miss Albania Angela Martini

While the rumor that Kanye's dating model Kate Upton are false, the one that he's dating Miss Albania Angela Martini are definitely true. You sly little devil. From the New York Daily News:

Kanye West has a new gal pal: Miss Universe Albania Angela Martini. Sources close to the NEXT Model Management brunette say Martini and West have been seeing each other for a few months, though it's unclear how serious things are.

"They are dating," one source tells us. "I just don't know if it's exclusive." Another says, however, that Martini "really likes" West and is "hoping they'll announce a relationship soon."

I've got news for you Angela: your relationship with Kanye is NOT "exclusive." Rappers are like honey bees -- they like to go from flower to flower, pollinating each one. If this Angela chick wants to be the only woman in Kanye's life, she's going to have to do something special that he won't be able to resist: anal staple a mirror to the back of her head.

*33 Angela Martini pictures total in the gallery:

Kanye West leaving the Intermix store in New York (5/3)

I remember back when I was a teenager and Kanye West performed at my birthday party. My parents didn't pay him even half a million dollars. What's gotten into this guy? From the New York Post:

Former NBC honcho Jeff Zucker threw a lavish bar mitzvah at the Four Seasons last night for his son Andrew, with no expense spared -- except Kanye West's staggering $1 million demand to perform.

The bash, costing well over an estimated $250,000, included a performance by rapper Drake, "tremendous" food and fine wines -- and customized Converse sneakers handed out as gifts to guests. "They went all out for this bash," a source told Page Six of the splashy shindig at the restaurant, which is a haunt of the city's power crowd.

Sources said the Zucker family at first wanted West to perform at the party -- but the hotheaded rapper demanded $1 million for the gig. Our sources said organizers balked at West's price and briefly considered offering him $800,000, but instead went with the more reasonably priced Drake.

Can you imagine the tantrum this kid threw when he found out Kanye wasn't going to be performing at his bar mitzvah? You just know that any little brat whose parents can drop that much dough on a party is going to throw a huge fit when he doesn't get exactly what he wants. I'm guessing he probably had a conniption like Veruca Salt but sounded like a whiny Woody Allen -- so in other words, exactly like Kanye West.

*5 Kanye West pictures total in the gallery:

Kanye West hooks 16-year-old up

For the diva the media portrays him to be, Kanye West is actually a pretty laid back and cool dude. From the New York Post:

Kanye West paid a favor to artist George Condo on Saturday by performing at his daughter's sweet 16 party for free. Condo designed the controversial album cover art for West's latest album, "My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy." (West said on Twitter that one image of him straddled by a naked woman with wings was banned by some stores.) The "Runaway" rapper performed a 30-minute set on the third floor of the Standard Hotel. The teen's friend said West's cameo made the night "the best of their lives."

It must have been pretty cool to see Kanye up so close. Usually the only way to get that intimate with a rapper is to be a white chick who hates her father. *rimshot*

*5 Kanye West pictures total in the gallery:

Kanye West is in love with Irina Shayk

If any of you guys know Russian supermodel Irina Shayk (I lost her #), you might want to give her the heads up that Kanye West totally wants to bang her. Don't we all. From the New York Post:

Kanye West seemed enchanted by Russian model Irina Shayk, girlfriend of soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo, at the Nylon/Diesel party for "Gossip Girl" actress Leighton Meester at W New York Downtown. After dinner with several other guests, the rapper and shapely Shayk chatted in a private corner booth until they were interrupted by female fans clamoring to take photos with West.

While Shayk mingled with the likes of Minka Kelly and Jared Leto, a source said West "watched Irina like a hawk." The two became friendly after Shayk starred in his video for "Power" last year.

Of course Kanye was "enchanted" by Irina, just look at her. She attracts guys like a moth to a flame certain French film director to quinceaneras. The sad thing though is that Irina probably would go out with Kanye. Because with enough money and fame, even egotistical midgets look attractive to women. It believe scientists call it the "Kevin Connolly Paradox"

*22 Irina Shayk pictures total in the gallery:

Models are dumb

They should have a models edition of Jeopardy!. And the models should be forced to answer every question. Tell me you wouldn't watch that. From the New York Post:

Kanye West showed a rare sense of humor with two women Tuesday night at Chelsea club 1Oak. Two models approached the rapper on his way down to the restroom. According to spies, one tall brunette turned and asked, "Are you Kanye West?" He replied with a smile, "No, my name is Louis." The lady chuckled, "Damn, you should be an impersonator and work in Vegas. You should be getting paid."

Wait, isn't banging random models that you meet at a club the whole reason for becoming famous? Not taking advantage of free model ass when you're famous is like not taking advantage of the free hamburgers when you get a job at McDonalds . . . running . . . Kirstie Alley is literally running to McDonalds right now to fill out a job application. "I DIDN'T KNOW! I'LL CLEAN THE BATHROOMS! I DON'T CARE!"

*12 Kanye West pictures total in the gallery:

Kanye West arriving in Sydney for the start of his Australian tour (10/11)

If there's one thing Kanye West knows, it's women's fashion. So it's understandable that he'd be critical of Lindsay Lohan's Ungaro collection that she designed, um, last year. Wait, why the hell is talking about this now? From the San Francisco Chronicle:

Lohan designed a line for the French fashion house last year, but her creations were mauled by critics when they hit the runway, and she later quit her creative consultant post at the company.

West has branded Lohan's disastrous line the fashion equivalent of the September 11 terrorist attacks, and he admits the reaction to the star's range made him axe his own clothing venture Past Tell, which bwas due to hit stores in 2009.

He tells Britain's Daily Mirror, "Have you heard of a little thing called Lindsay Lohan's Ungaro collection? That was like the 9/11 of fashion. It was game over for me after that as no one would take a celebrity trying to do fashion seriously."

According to my false sense of outrage, comparing Lindsay's clothing line to 9/11 is disgusting and thoughtless. The only way Kanye could be more insensitive is if he were Lindsay Lohan's gums or Paris Hilton's labia. Sure, Lindsay's Ungaro collection bombed, but that doesn't make it right to compare it to such a horrific event. If Kanye's not careful, he may soon start getting a reputation for demeaning more young white girls than Roman Polanski.

*7 Kanye West pictures total in the gallery: