Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel in Rome, Italy (9/23)
"Nooooooooooooooo! For God's sake, don't let her see these pics or I'll never be worn again! Hide the spoons!" - Britney Spears' Size 6 Jeans
NOTE: 6 more Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel pics on PAGE 2 (CLICK HERE)
Fergie used to date Justin Timberlake
I don't know why I'd never heard of this but I guess Fergie used to date Justin Timberlake way back in the day. Like when he was still a teenager. In a really old article that's new to me because I never read it, Fergie revealed:
"I almost didn't go out with him because he was so young, but he was always trying to convince me he was so mature. And he was. It's true. My friends made fun of me and gave me the nickname Stella, from the movie How Stella Got Her Grove Back, about a woman who dates this younger guy. But one of the reasons we got along was because we both loved hip-hop and used to talk about the Black Eyed Peas and how amazing they were." (Source)
Awwww, that’s cute. Too bad I wasn’t Fergie’s friend back when she was dating Justin. I would have given her a way catchier nickname: child rapist.
She must be near a McDonald's
OK! magazine claims that Britney Spears is reuniting with former boyfriend/current obsession Justin Timberlake for a duet to be featured on her new album. Gee, what could possibly go wrong? OK! says:
[Britney], who recently became an auntie, will get a helping hand from the SexyBack singer, reveals OK! USA exclusively. Madonna recently revealed she would love to reunite the pair during her world tour. Britney is currently working on her latest album, which is yet to be assigned a release date.Her record label said: "[Britney] is spending her summer in the recording studio, working on a brand new album. She's working with a team of top-notch producers and songwriters and we're very excited about what she's accomplished so far." (Source)
Britney doesn't need Justin to perform a duet. That crazy bitch has enough voices in her head to perform a one woman choir. Besides, didn't these two learn anything from Sonny and Cher? Because like Sonny, one of them is bound to end up killing themselves due to too much white powder (Britney). And like Cher, the other is destined to become an icon for drag queen burlesque shows (Justin).
[WENN]
Jessica Biel is strong
It saddens me to read about these young celebrities not taking advantage of their fame and fortune to wake up next to a new girl every morning of the week. In Touch says
Justin Timberlake can no longer call his house a bachelor pad — he's asked his girlfriend, Jessica Biel, to move in! "Jessica is preparing to live in Justin's Hollywood Hills home," an insider tells In Touch. "They're both really excited." But the 26-year-old actress is also hanging on to her own Brentwood, Calif., digs. "Jessica's giving the house to her parents and brother because she doesn't want to sell it," the insider adds. It's a big deal for Justin, 27, who has never taken this relationship step before, but the insider insists that he's ready. "They're definitely headed for marriage," the insider says. "Moving in is just the beginning."
It's no surprise that Justin's asking Jessica to move in -- that new solid oak armoire he just bought ain't moving itself! I just hope Jessica's dietary habits don't wear off on the poor guy. Because, after a week or two, it gets a little old having every meal comprised solely of protein shakes, creatine bars, and emasculation.
Feel the passion between them!
Dating for a little over a year, Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel's ass (I refuse to call her anything else) are reportedly eager to get married. And if we're to believe reports that claim Jessica Biel's ass has quit drinking, the marriage may be of the shotgun variety. A source told UK tabloid The Sun:
"Justin is 27 and thinking about marriage and kids. For the first time in his life he is feeling settled and has definitely decided to pop the question to Jessica. He is so happy with her. They spent quite a bit of time apart recently when Justin was working with Madonna. That made him certain Jessica was the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with." (Source)
I just don't get today's pop stars. You have millions of dollars in the bank, thousands of unspoiled, underage girls dying to get into your pants, and the youth to exploit those things for decades to come -- why settle for one woman? When I become rich and famous, there's only two chicks I'd settle down for: Brazil and Sweden.
Madonna and Justin Timberlake performing at the Roseland Ballroom in New York (4/30)
I've always wanted to be grinded on by a 49-year-old mom with three kids. Did you know Madonna is older than the audio cassette? No, seriously, I looked it up. She was also born before Barbie Dolls, Astroturf, and ATMs were invented. So hot!
"I used to love doing this to Britney's cooter."
I don't know why but Justin Timberlake inducted Madonna into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame on Monday. And of course he used the platform to take a shot at his ex-girlfriend Britney Spears:
"The world has always been full of Madonna wannabes, and I might have even dated a couple." (Source)
That's just plain mean. Even I wouldn't take a shot at my mentally ill ex-girlfriend . . . Even though it was kind of weird that she'd wear a lace teddy everywhere we went. OK we get it, you're an incredibly gorgeous lingerie model. It's OK to wear normal clothes every now and then. Crazy bitch.
[Getty]
Justin Timberlake at the Brisbane, Australia airport (10/24)
Justin Timberlake pissed his pants after being attacked by a bird in Australia. Entertainmentwise says:
The SexyBack singer - who is currently on tour down under - was enjoying a relaxing day of golf when he was struck by the intimidating bird. Recalling the incident onstage at his Sydney concert on Tuesday night, he said: "[Magpies are] the dive bombing gangsters of the air!" He added, "I didn't realize until I got to the next tee bar, that I had peed my pants, just a little bit! Just a little bit, not a lot." (Source)
Pissing yourself is definitely the hot new trend in Hollywood--I hear Depends is doing a show in Milan this Spring featuring Fergie, Justin, and Hugh Hefner. Wait a minute, what the hell does story have to do with last night's Victoria's Secret Fashion Show? Sorry guys, I'll get more pics posted shortly.
Justin Timberlake shotgunning a beer
The fine folks over at Deadspin posted some photos this morning of Justin Timberlake, Jessica Biel, and James Van Der Beek (WTF?) tailgating at yesterday's Packers-Redskins game. Timberlake can be seen in the background shotgunning a beer while a confused and bewildered Van Der Beek is in the foreground wondering why someone is pointing a camera at him. Seriously the last time someone wanted a picture with James Van Der Beek the cameraman had to stand under a hood.
INFDaily.com
Justin Timberlake is probably cheating on [girlfriend?] Jessica Biel. A spy witnessed the former boy bander flirting with another woman at an HBO party over the weekend in New York City. From today's New York Post:
Spies spotted the notorious flirt "sitting with a bronze-skinned brunette with long brown hair all night at a cocktail table near the dance floor" at an HBO party on the roof of the Tribeca Grand. "They were obviously into each other," said the spy. "It was just the two of them . . . he had no entourage at all." Another source dished to us, "He is notorious. He will [bleep] anything." (Source)
According to my awesome powers of deduction [bleep] means "fuck." You know how I know that? Because Timberlake dated Cameron Diaz for like three years. THREE YEARS! I wouldn't [bleep] that chick with your penis. Sure she looks great with makeup but then again so does my dog--especially with that rouge I like . . . what a little temptress.
