Justin Theroux

Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux at the SAG Awards earlier this year

Holy shit they actually did it. Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux got married. It all went down last night in a pretty secretive ceremony at their mansion in Bel Air. Guests included Lisa Kudrow, Chelsea Handler, Howard Stern, John Krasinski, Ellen Degeneres, and pervert photographer Terry Richardson. From People:
"Guests were told it was a birthday party for Justin. Jen and Justin wanted to surprise guests, and guests were certainly surprised," a source tells PEOPLE. "Jen has been very good at keeping her wedding planning secret. Only her closest confidants knew that the party was actually a surprise wedding."
Congrats to the happy couple. I wouldn't be surprised if Justin immediately tries to get Jennifer pregnant. After all, you can't hire a nanny if you don't have kids. *wink*

*15 Jennifer Aniston pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jennifer Aniston Secret Wedding 1
  • Jennifer Aniston Secret Wedding 2
  • Jennifer Aniston Secret Wedding 3
  • Jennifer Aniston Secret Wedding 4
  • Jennifer Aniston Secret Wedding 5
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Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux leaving Barney's in New York (5/12)

Jennifer Aniston may be forced to delay her wedding to fiance Justin Theroux because renovations to her $21 million mansion in Bel Air are taking longer than expected. You hear that? It's me playing the world's saddest song on the world's tiniest violin. A source told Star:
"Jennifer is totally freaking out about the wedding. The ceremony is supposed to happen at the new house, but she is becoming more and more convinced that none of the preparations will be finished in time and the event will be a disaster. It's a total nightmare. There's still tons to do, and the wedding is coming fast. They've put more than $6 million into remodeling, and it still isn't done. The garden where they are supposed to have the ceremony is not complete, or is the pool area. She's in total panic mode."

The former 'Friends' star is said to be particularly worried that there isn't enough space in the garden to fit in all of her and Justin's guests, so they may have to change the setting where they say their vows.

The source said: "Jennifer called Justin in tears about the house. But his attitude was, 'What will be will be.' "
I feel for Jennifer. Her life must be so hard, being a Hollywood A-lister with mansion problems and all. I'm sure most of you reading this have had problems pop up while getting $6 million+ worth of work done on your estate for a single day event. No? Oh, so you guys aren't stinking rich, either. I just can't relate to Jennifer's "1-percenter plight," since I'm having enough trouble getting my rent together, but -- great news -- my landlord now takes payments in flesh. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful Jen, but I can give you all the moral support you need once I get my rape shower out of the way.

*16 Jennifer Aniston pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jennifer Aniston House Construction 1
  • Jennifer Aniston House Construction 2
  • Jennifer Aniston House Construction 3
  • Jennifer Aniston House Construction 4
  • Jennifer Aniston House Construction 5
  • Jennifer Aniston House Construction 6
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  • Jennifer Aniston House Construction 15

Jennifer Aniston, Justin Theroux, and Emily Blunt in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico (1/1)

Jennifer Aniston has been vacationing in Cabo for the past week or so with fiance Justin Theroux, and yesterday the two were joined by friend Emily Blunt and husband John Krasinski. Fuckin' freeloaders. That chips and guacamole ain't paying for itself.

NOTE: Click here for more bikini pics from the New Year

*30 Emily Blunt bikini pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jennifer Aniston Emily Blunt Bikinis 1
  • Jennifer Aniston Emily Blunt Bikinis 2
  • Jennifer Aniston Emily Blunt Bikinis 3
  • Jennifer Aniston Emily Blunt Bikinis 4
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Jennifer Aniston bikini pics (12/27)

Posted some pictures of Jennifer Aniston earlier this week vacationing at an upscale resort in Cabo San Lucas, and here she is again yesterday, at the same upscale resort. Wow, this chick must be rich!

*25 Jennifer Aniston bikini pics total in the gallery:

  • Jennifer Aniston Winter Vacation 1
  • Jennifer Aniston Winter Vacation 2
  • Jennifer Aniston Winter Vacation 3
  • Jennifer Aniston Winter Vacation 4
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Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux leaving the Hotel Ritz in Paris (6/12)

My guess is Jennifer Aniston's engagement ring cost exactly $250,001. From the New York Post:
[Jennifer Aniston] got an eight-carat, emerald-cut diamond just days after saying "yes" to Theroux's marriage proposal. A high-quality rock of that size and cut can easily run from $150,000 to $350,000.

"It's a huge emerald-cut diamond," a friend of Jen's tells Life & Style. "It's a rectangle with tapered diamond baguettes on the sides. Just after Jen got engaged, she called all her friends and told them about it. She was so happy and said she loves the ring. I think she was overwhelmed and overjoyed by the size and beauty of it!"

Not that anyone's comparing, but Angelina Jolie -- set to marry Aniston's ex-hubby, Brad Pitt -- reportedly got a $250,000 diamond.
I love Jennifer Aniston. No matter how successful she gets, she'll always look in her rear-view for the Pitt-Jolies. Not only did she Federline herself a ring exactly $1 more expensive (assumed) than Team Phony, she'll probably have "Fuck Angie" engraved into the damn thing. Considering how hot Jen still is (especially when compared to old bag o' bones Jolie), her insecurity makes her a 10 in my book. God bless the nagging internal monologues of the beautiful people.

*6 Jennifer Aniston pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jennifer Aniston Ring Size 1
  • Jennifer Aniston Ring Size 2
  • Jennifer Aniston Ring Size 3
  • Jennifer Aniston Ring Size 4
  • Jennifer Aniston Ring Size 5

Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux touring The Vatican Museums in Rome (6/15)

After dating for more than a year, Jennifer Aniston finally got her boyfriend Justin Theroux drunk enough to propose. Good for her. Let me guess, Jagermeister? His rep told People:
"Justin Theroux had an amazing birthday on Friday, receiving an extraordinary gift when his girlfriend, Jennifer Aniston, accepted his proposal of marriage."
Ten bucks Justin somehow tricks Jennifer into not signing a prenup. "Bottom line is babe, if you make me sign a prenup, I wear a condom at all times and your ovaries shrivel up like a prune."

*20 Jennifer Aniston pictures total in the gallery:

  • Aniston Theroux Engagement 1
  • Aniston Theroux Engagement 2
  • Aniston Theroux Engagement 3
  • Aniston Theroux Engagement 4
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Jennifer Aniston might get married here

TMZ says this is the place -- the Elounda Beach Hotel in Crete -- that Jennifer Aniston visited recently on a wedding scouting trip. Apparently she's thinking of marrying her boyfriend Justin Theroux this summer (even though he hasn't proposed yet, but that's just a minor technicality). Oh, did you hear that Jennifer's ex-husband Brad Pitt proposed recently to Angelina Jolie, and they're also getting married this summer? I don't know about you, but I am shocked by this shocking coincidence.
Sources connected with the Elounda Beach Hotel in Crete (where Aniston's dad was born, located about 230 miles south of Greece) tell TMZ ... Aniston was there recently, scoping the place out. Our sources say Aniston mentioned a July wedding.

BTW, one of the hotel big wigs says Aniston hasn't settled on his hotel for the nuptials ... as he put it, "She has connections on the other side of the island as well."
As for her maid of honor, Celebslam can exclusively report that Jennifer is thinking of asking her cat Brad, but only if he consents to wearing a cute little dress she bought from Petco. Meanwhile, her other cat Angelina languishes away in her cage, hoping her meows will be loud enough to remind Jennifer to fill her food bowl for the first time in two weeks. She is not getting her hopes up of receiving an invitation to the wedding.

*14 Jennifer Aniston pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jennifer Aniston Crete Wedding 1
  • Jennifer Aniston Crete Wedding 2
  • Jennifer Aniston Crete Wedding 3
  • Jennifer Aniston Crete Wedding 4
  • Jennifer Aniston Crete Wedding 5
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Jennifer Aniston (and Justin Theroux) out and about in New York (3/15)

Jennifer Aniston was spotted wearing a large diamond ring yesterday in New York. So, what's up? Is she engaged? How did Justin propose? When's the wedding? How big is the ring? As soon as I'm done not giving a fuck, I'll let you know.

*5 Jennifer Aniston pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jennifer Aniston Engagement Ring 1
  • Jennifer Aniston Engagement Ring 2
  • Jennifer Aniston Engagement Ring 3
  • Jennifer Aniston Engagement Ring 4
  • Jennifer Aniston Engagement Ring 5

Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux in New York (10/9)

C'mon, you just know this bitch is gonna emasculate her husband by hyphenating her last name if she ever gets married again. The only thing I'm more sure of is that the Sun is going to rise tomorrow morning. From Star:
"Justin [Therouex] and [Jennifer's dad John] got along great from the moment they met," a source tells Star. "John feels that Justin has been wonderful for his daughter and say's he's never seen Jen happier. John would love nothing more than to see them walk down the aisle. He's told Justin he's willing to do whatever he can to help ... Justin is planning to ask for John's blessing this Christmas. He believes that with Johns' blessing, he will finally be able to convince Jen to accept his proposal."

"It's not that Jen isn't madly and passionately in love with Justin," the source explains. "It's just that she was so burned before, she has trouble trusting men. She would be ecstatic to marry Justin and start a family. If John's on board, she's just more likely to say yes!" (Print Edition - 12/12)
This Justin Theroux sounds like a solid dude. Why not try to make Aniston a respectable woman? He's even going old school with the whole "get the old man's permission" horse shit. It reminds me of how nice the car dealer was last year even though I was buying an '81 Buick Skylark. Justin's putting way too much work in for someone that's been proverbially chewed up and spit out in life. And it won't work in the end, sorry to say. Jennifer Aniston needs what the Kardashian sisters can't get enough of, but would shame the family to ask for. Oh yeah, I know you ladies know what I'm talking about, right? I'm talking about more exposure to 15-20 year old females. They're the ones with the real power to boost ratings/box office numbers . . . wait, what did you think I was gonna say? Black cock? Wow, you are super racist.

*10 Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux pictures total in the gallery:

  • Theroux Aniston Proposal 1
  • Theroux Aniston Proposal 2
  • Theroux Aniston Proposal 3
  • Theroux Aniston Proposal 4
  • Theroux Aniston Proposal 5
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Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston should totally fight

Jennifer Aniston almost had a *really* awkward moment at the ArcLight Cinemas in Hollywood over the weekend. And no, I don't mean she almost saw the new Adam Sandler movie. From the New York Daily News:
While Aniston, 42, was at the popular movie theater with beau Justin Theroux, her famous ex had a larger entourage in attendance: his children with partner Angelina Jolie.

According to X17online, Pitt took kids Shiloh, Zahara, Pax and Maddox to see the 2 p.m. showing of Martin Scorsese’s “Hugo.” Once the family flick ended, the brood reportedly made their way to the parking garage just minutes after Aniston and Theroux entered the movie theater for a later movie.

"Justin and Jennifer skipped the popcorn and went straight in. Like five minutes later, Brad and the kids came out of the theater," a source told X17. "They just missed each other!"
Well wouldn't that have been uncomfortable if Jen and Justin actually ran into Angelina and Brad. Can you imagine how the conversation between these two would have gone?

Brad: "Oh, hey Jen, how's it going?"

Jen: "Oh my God, I love you!"

: "Uh, yeah. So anyway, what are you here to see?"

: "My letters! Did you get all of the letters I've been sending? What about the ones with pieces of my hair glued to them?"

: "Yeaaaah. Well, it's been good seeing you. Take care."

: "Call me! I haven't changed my number so you'd still know what it was. I've even kept all of your voicemails. You know, the ones where you said you loved me and we'd be together forever. I miss those days so much. Why can't it be like it was back then, when everything was perfect and we had the whole world at our fingertips? Do you remember that one time on the beach in Kauai when you-"

: 'Uh, Jen. He walked away five minutes ago."

*13 Angelina Jolie pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jolie Aniston Run In 1
  • Jolie Aniston Run In 2
  • Jolie Aniston Run In 3
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