Justin Gaston

Justin Gaston and Miley Cyrus jogging in Toluca Lake (2/28)

Move along folks, nothing to see here but a 16-year-old in cut-off jean shorts and a bikini top jogging with her 20-year-old underwear model boyfriend. But the age difference, you say, he's almost five years older -- it's creepy! Bullshit. Plowing teenagers when you're in your 20s is as American as apple pie. It's what our Founding Fathers fought for -- especially Franklin. Seriously, what a pimp that dude was.

Miley Cyrus and Justin Gaston are still dating

Miley Cyrus and her boyfriend, Justin "I swear I'm not 30" Gaston, were spotted, arm in arm, leaving an L.A. church on Sunday. Looks like they're still dating (for those of you keeping track at home, Justin's 20 and Miley's illegal). You know that sign in Times Square that has a running total of the national debt? I think that'd also be a pretty cool way of keeping track of how many felonies Justin has committed with Miley since they moved into Billy-Ray's pool house. We can build it right smack in the middle of Beverly Hills. According to my rough calculations, the current count stands at 502.