Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber's new girlfriend Katherine Gazda

Justin Bieber has a new girl, and she's very . . . average. Actually, Justin and her kinda have the same body, which makes perfect sense for someone so in love with himself. He finally gets to fuck himself. From UK tabloid The Mirror:
Justin Bieber is dating a young American singer who has confessed to pals that she wants to have his children. The troubled star has been seeing Katherine Gazda as well as romancing bad girl Chantel Jeffries. Justin, 19, and Katherine, 18, were introduced at the end of last year by mutual friend Blake Kelly and the romance quickly blossomed. Sources said the young couple had even discussed the prospect of having children.

A friend said: "They hit it off straight away and are both really serious about one another. But their relationship has been very up and down because she can't stand the way he has been behaving recently. She is desperately trying to help him through all the scandal and regain his clean-cut image. Underneath all the bravado and controversy, Katherine believes he's a lovely kid with a real heart, she just thinks he is being led astray."
Katherine Gazda is fighting Chantel Jeffries for the seed from the most overrated foreigner since Milli Vanilli? Maybe the memory is starting to fail in my old age, but I don't remember a time when being a poser douche was ever cool. Everyone from Selena Gomez to those dirty South American whores are willing to beard themselves out for a kid who isn't fooling anyone with his over-the-top attempts at being tough. At this point, Justin Bieber is about as manly as a hysterectomy, which is what those bimbos should be forced to have if this story is really true. Damn it, yet another point conceded to Al Qaeda.

*10 Katherine Gazda pictures total in the gallery:

  • Katherine Gazda Pictures 1
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Justin Bieber really likes strippers

I've seen Justin Bieber biting the nipple of a stripper. My life is complete. The picture was leaked over the weekend and features Justin and his friend Khalil Sharieff double-teaming a stripper's boobs during a recent party. Khalil is going with the licking approach, while Justin goes with biting, no doubt confused that Onyx or Diamond or Amethyst or Jade's breast is not giving forth its delicious bounty of milk. "Just keep biting, Justin," he no doubt thought to himself. "It always works with mommy."

NOTE: To see the uncensored Justin Bieber stripper pictures, click the picture above or any thumbnail with a yellow star on it and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.

*2 pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber Nipple Bite 1
  • Justin Bieber Nipple Bite 2

Justin Bieber arriving at 52 Division Police Station in Toronto (1/29)

Justin Bieber is running up quite the rap sheet. Just days after being arrested for turning South Florida into his own bacchanal paradise, he turned himself into police in Toronto to face charges that he repeatedly punched a limo driver on December 29. "I said not to take the freeway, you idiot!" A statement from the Toronto Police reads:
"While driving the group to a hotel, an altercation occurred between one of the passengers and the driver of the limousine. In the course of the altercation, a man struck the limousine driver on the back of the head several times. The driver stopped the limousine, exited the vehicle and called police."
So now we got this limo thing, the DUI drag-racing thing, and the egging thing. Can we just consolidate everything into one case, and then try it in Texas or North Korea? Actually, that's fucked up. Not Texas. Justin's a little asshole, but even he doesn't deserve that. Call me, Kim Jong, and let's get this ball rolling, or maple syrup flowing, or whatever the hell they say up north.

*5 Justin Bieber pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber Toronto Arrest 1
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Justin Bieber leaving his rented mansion in South Beach (1/24)

A source tells UK tabloid The Sun that Justin Bieber is dropping upwards of $8k/week on weed and codeine-laced cough syrup (aka sizzurp). No wonder he has so many friends. He sounds fun as hell to hang out with. The source reveals:
"Weed plays a huge part in Justin's life. He smokes 12 bongs a day and can spend [$8k] a week. He also takes relaxant Xanax and sleep aid Ambien. For his sizzurp, Justin gets bulk shipments of the codeine syrup he likes from Canada then mixes it with Fanta Pineapple before dropping a sweet in it. He even has a child's sippy cup of it by his bed."
Oy vey, the news coming out of Camp Bieber is getting douchier by the minute. An addiction to herb? Really? Going to rehab for an addiction to weed and sizzurp is no way for a poser of the North to gain American street cred, yo. The amount alone tells me that Justin is buying weed for all of his leachy friends and bodyguards. And let's not forget that those bodyguards have been known to get just a little bit rapey with the Bieliebers. I suggest that the cough medicine and marijuana is how Justin is keeping his asshole from being destroyed by his employees -- a great reason to keep buying, no matter what the cost.

*10 Justin Bieber pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber Weed Addiction 1
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Fuck this. I'm joining Al Qaeda.

Justin Bieber leaving the Turner Guilford Knight Correctional Center in Miami (1/23)

You think Justin Bieber was a little asshole before? He's gonna be downright incorrigible now. "Six hours in jail surrounded by guards making sure no one touches you changes a man. I don't even care anymore, dude."

*20 Justin Bieber pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber Jail 1
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Justin Bieber's mug shot

And Justin goes with the "shit-eating grin" approach to his mug shot. I'm guessing he didn't go with the "shit-eating grin" approach to his cavity search.

Justin Bieber drunk driving last night in Miami

Oh yes. A million times yes. Justin Bieber was arrested for DUI, resisting arrest, drag racing, and driving on a suspended license last night in Miami. Wait, you can't drunkenly race a Lamborghini in a crowded area? What could possibly go wrong? From TMZ:
According to the police report, cops approached Bieber's car and the instantly realized he reeked of alcohol and had bloodshot eyes.  He had a "stupor" look on his face. The police report says Bieber was defiant from the get go, yelling at the cops, "Why the fuck are you doing this?"  He also yelled, "What the fuck did I do? Why did you stop me?"

When the officer tried to perform a routine pat down, Bieber said, "I ain't got no fucking weapons, why do you have to search me? What the fuck is this about?"

Now the basis for the resisting arrest charge -- Before the pat down, as Bieber got out of the car, he "kept going into his pants pocket." The cop ordered him to put his hands on the vehicle, and Bieber initially complied but soon took his hands off the car, turned and then cussed out the cop.
Oh my god, as a cop, could you imagine Justin Bieber cussing you out on the side of the road? I wouldn't know whether to laugh or punch him in the throat. He might as well just hit you with a pillow. I wonder if his voice cracked when he was dropping these f bombs? "God dammit, puberty!"

The Miami Herald adds:
The musician's entourage had apparently used their cars to block traffic on Pine Tree Drive at 26th Street, a residential area, at 4:30 a.m., creating a drag strip for the young star, who had been on a party spree in South Florida.
I think I see what's going on here. Justin Bieber's angling for the Paul Walker role in the new Fast and Furious film. "I live my life a quarter mile at a time, eh."

*25 Justin Bieber pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber DUI 1
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Is Justin Bieber hooked on sizzurp?

Okay we got some tits out of the way, now let's get to some news. TMZ says Justin Bieber is downing 8-12 ounces of Activis Prometh with Codeine cough syrup (aka "sizzurp" or "purple drank") on a daily basis, which is considered a lot amongst purple drank enthusiasts. Maybe he just has a nagging cough? I've been trying to shake one for a few weeks now.
Multiple credible, connected sources tell us Bieber has been using sizzurp regularly. It's typically codeine and promethazine mixed with Sprite and a Jolly Rancher. Bieber and his crew refer to it as "lean." It's a very dangerous narcotic that can trigger seizures, and even worse.

But that's not the only drug Bieber is using. We're told he's been taking lots of prescription pills, including Xanax, in addition to lots of alcohol and weed. Our sources insist he does NOT do cocaine and has never done it in his life.

We're told a number of people are very worried and have urged him to get help -- including going to rehab.
Dammit, now I feel bad for Justin. I always thought the Biebs was just a poser douche. I had no idea that he suffers from Lil' Wayne Syndrome. Never heard of it? Well, Lil' Wayne Syndrome, or L'WS for short, is what happens when you become famous for no apparent reason then turn to sizzurp in an attempt to drown away the overwhelming fear of being exposed as a talentless fraud. Think of it as drinking your way into a Napoleon Complex, but instead of achieving greatness, you become a bigger asshole than anyone could ever imagine. Get help, Justin, but do me a favor and wait until May-Juneish . . . this winter has been a slow one.

*15 Justin Bieber pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber Sizzurp 1
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Justin Bieber's home raided

Police served a felony search warrant on Justin Bieber's home in Calabasas earlier today in connection with a neighbor's complaint that Justin and his merry band of thug friends egged his house. Police are looking for anything that could link him to the egg attack (a security system was dismantled and taken; here come the leaked Justin Bieber pillow fights on YouTube), but are also keeping their eyes open for anything illegal in plain view. Like drugs? Yes, drugs:
Justin Bieber's BFF Lil Za has just been arrested for COCAINE POSSESSION at the singer's home -- during the early morning raid stemming from the Bieber egg attack on his neighbor. A rep for the L.A. County Sheriff's Dept. confirmed the arrest for FELONY drug possession ... and said the cocaine was "in plain view" during the raid. Officials say Bieber was "not connected" to the cocaine.
"Justin Bieber's BFF Lil Za" . . . oh my gosh, he is gonna get so raped in jail. He needs to change his name to Chuck or something.


*16 Justin Bieber pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber Search Warrant 1
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Would You Rather?

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