Justin Bieber


Paris Hilton at the VIP ROom in Cannes, France (5/16)

So Justin Bieber probably banged Paris Hilton. The two were spotted leaving Gotha nightclub together in Cannes after some heavy flirting. Which for Paris means everything up to anal. From E!:
Hilton didn't let their age difference (she's 33, he's 20) get in the way of some playful coziness with a shirtless Bieber--she hopped into his lap while he was sitting on a throne ... Before Bieber and Hilton left the club together with an entourage surrounding them.
This is great news. Drone strikes are way more successful when the two targets are near each other. Now if only we could get Kris Jenner over there. *lays down a dollar bill trail from Calabasas to Cannes*

*20 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton Justin Bieber Cannes 1
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Justin Bieber horseback riding at Griffith Park in L.A. (5/12) 

Last time I checked, it was still legal to take pictures in public, but Justin Bieber doesn't give a fuck. In an act of cowboy justice gone wrong -- giddyup -- he forcibly tried to erase pictures from an innocent mom's phone Monday night at the Sherman Oaks Castle Park, and is now being investigated by the LAPD for attempted robbery. From TMZ:

She says she refused to fork over the phone so he then went into her purse and grabbed it. The woman says she began wrestling with Bieber, trying to get her phone back.  She says he ripped it out of her hands but couldn't accomplish his mission because the phone was locked.

She says Justin gave her the phone back and demanded that she unlock it to see if she took photos.  She obliged and showed Justin she had taken none.  She says she told Justin she and her 13-year-old daughter just wanted to say hi, and Justin screamed, "You're humiliating yourself in front of your daughter.  Why don't you just get out of here."  

And the icing on the cake:

Her daughter started crying.

After the girl started crying, Justin taunted her further by revealing that Santa Claus isn't real and that the Easter Bunny is actually a marketing tool created by the Republican Party in the '50s to sell worthless oil bonds to minorities. Totally uncalled for, man. It's true, but she didn't need to find out like that.

*30 Justin Bieber pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber Robbery 1
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Madison Beer outside Hit Factory in Miami (4/8)

Justin Bieber and his 15-year-old YouTube discovery Madison Beer -- who coincidentally is a dead ringer for Selena Gomez -- were recording earlier this week at Hit Factory in Miami, and oh hey, what a coincidence, Selena Gomez showed up. After all three had a discussion on what it's like to go through puberty (based on rumors they heard), Selena then eye-stabbed Madison 47 times to death. Oh well, I guess you can't say the Biebs doesn't have a type. Because even four inches feels huge in a 92-pound chick.

*30 Justin Bieber and Madison Beer pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber Madison Beer 1
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Justin Bieber failing his sobriety test in Miami (1/23)

"Enjoyed immensely!" - Dan Harrison, Newark Star Tribune

"This video lacks baton strikes. 2/5 stars." - Rosylyn Murphy, L.A. Times

"The police officer gives a fine, nuanced performance, but the actor in the red shoes really nails the role of complete douche bag. I really believed." Reggie Mills, San Francisco Chronicle

"Fag." - Ted Nugent


Justin Bieber's new girlfriend Katherine Gazda

Justin Bieber has a new girl, and she's very . . . average. Actually, Justin and her kinda have the same body, which makes perfect sense for someone so in love with himself. He finally gets to fuck himself. From UK tabloid The Mirror:
Justin Bieber is dating a young American singer who has confessed to pals that she wants to have his children. The troubled star has been seeing Katherine Gazda as well as romancing bad girl Chantel Jeffries. Justin, 19, and Katherine, 18, were introduced at the end of last year by mutual friend Blake Kelly and the romance quickly blossomed. Sources said the young couple had even discussed the prospect of having children.

A friend said: "They hit it off straight away and are both really serious about one another. But their relationship has been very up and down because she can't stand the way he has been behaving recently. She is desperately trying to help him through all the scandal and regain his clean-cut image. Underneath all the bravado and controversy, Katherine believes he's a lovely kid with a real heart, she just thinks he is being led astray."
Katherine Gazda is fighting Chantel Jeffries for the seed from the most overrated foreigner since Milli Vanilli? Maybe the memory is starting to fail in my old age, but I don't remember a time when being a poser douche was ever cool. Everyone from Selena Gomez to those dirty South American whores are willing to beard themselves out for a kid who isn't fooling anyone with his over-the-top attempts at being tough. At this point, Justin Bieber is about as manly as a hysterectomy, which is what those bimbos should be forced to have if this story is really true. Damn it, yet another point conceded to Al Qaeda.

*10 Katherine Gazda pictures total in the gallery:

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Justin Bieber really likes strippers

I've seen Justin Bieber biting the nipple of a stripper. My life is complete. The picture was leaked over the weekend and features Justin and his friend Khalil Sharieff double-teaming a stripper's boobs during a recent party. Khalil is going with the licking approach, while Justin goes with biting, no doubt confused that Onyx or Diamond or Amethyst or Jade's breast is not giving forth its delicious bounty of milk. "Just keep biting, Justin," he no doubt thought to himself. "It always works with mommy."

NOTE: To see the uncensored Justin Bieber stripper pictures, click the picture above or any thumbnail with a yellow star on it and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.

*2 pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber Nipple Bite 1
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Justin Bieber arriving at 52 Division Police Station in Toronto (1/29)

Justin Bieber is running up quite the rap sheet. Just days after being arrested for turning South Florida into his own bacchanal paradise, he turned himself into police in Toronto to face charges that he repeatedly punched a limo driver on December 29. "I said not to take the freeway, you idiot!" A statement from the Toronto Police reads:
"While driving the group to a hotel, an altercation occurred between one of the passengers and the driver of the limousine. In the course of the altercation, a man struck the limousine driver on the back of the head several times. The driver stopped the limousine, exited the vehicle and called police."
So now we got this limo thing, the DUI drag-racing thing, and the egging thing. Can we just consolidate everything into one case, and then try it in Texas or North Korea? Actually, that's fucked up. Not Texas. Justin's a little asshole, but even he doesn't deserve that. Call me, Kim Jong, and let's get this ball rolling, or maple syrup flowing, or whatever the hell they say up north.

*5 Justin Bieber pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber Toronto Arrest 1
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Justin Bieber leaving his rented mansion in South Beach (1/24)

A source tells UK tabloid The Sun that Justin Bieber is dropping upwards of $8k/week on weed and codeine-laced cough syrup (aka sizzurp). No wonder he has so many friends. He sounds fun as hell to hang out with. The source reveals:
"Weed plays a huge part in Justin's life. He smokes 12 bongs a day and can spend [$8k] a week. He also takes relaxant Xanax and sleep aid Ambien. For his sizzurp, Justin gets bulk shipments of the codeine syrup he likes from Canada then mixes it with Fanta Pineapple before dropping a sweet in it. He even has a child's sippy cup of it by his bed."
Oy vey, the news coming out of Camp Bieber is getting douchier by the minute. An addiction to herb? Really? Going to rehab for an addiction to weed and sizzurp is no way for a poser of the North to gain American street cred, yo. The amount alone tells me that Justin is buying weed for all of his leachy friends and bodyguards. And let's not forget that those bodyguards have been known to get just a little bit rapey with the Bieliebers. I suggest that the cough medicine and marijuana is how Justin is keeping his asshole from being destroyed by his employees -- a great reason to keep buying, no matter what the cost.

*10 Justin Bieber pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber Weed Addiction 1
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Fuck this. I'm joining Al Qaeda.


Justin Bieber leaving the Turner Guilford Knight Correctional Center in Miami (1/23)

You think Justin Bieber was a little asshole before? He's gonna be downright incorrigible now. "Six hours in jail surrounded by guards making sure no one touches you changes a man. I don't even care anymore, dude."

*20 Justin Bieber pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber Jail 1
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