Justin Bieber


Justin Bieber kicked out of Coachella

Justin Bieber was kicked out of Coachella Sunday night after trying to gain access to a private artist's area. Apparently the rent-a-cop guarding the door was not a belieber and was clearly not trained in the fine art of situation diffusion. From TMZ:
Bieber and his entourage walked to the artist's entrance where Drake was performing, when they were stopped by security and told the area was at capacity and they couldn't come in. Bieber and his crew showed security they had the proper wristbands to gain entry. Eyewitnesses tell TMZ, Bieber argued with security, saying there was no way he could stand in a big crowd because he'd get bombarded by fans. Security wasn't having it and told him to leave.

At that point a Coachella staffer came up to Bieber and said she would escort him inside the artist's area. She grabbed Bieber by the arm and began walking him and his security team inside, when Coachella security came up from behind and put Bieber in a chokehold. We're told Bieber's team got into it with security and the singer was then ordered to leave the festival.
Because he's so broken up about the incident, here's what Justin just posted to Instagram:
"I just landed in Europe, shopping bags I'm a tourist"
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Hah, shopping trip to Europe on a private jet! Take that, Justin! Wait a minute . . . aw god dammit that's way better than a music festival in the middle of hell on Earth (Riverside County). Seriously, fuck this kid.

*5 Justin Bieber pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber Coachella Chokehold 1
  • Justin Bieber Coachella Chokehold 2
  • Justin Bieber Coachella Chokehold 3
  • Justin Bieber Coachella Chokehold 4
  • Justin Bieber Coachella Chokehold 5

Justin Bieber and Kendall Jenner are doing it

I don't mean to alarm anyone, but Justin Bieber and Kendall Jenner are most definitely banging. Justin instagrammed a pic of himself draped over Kendall at Coachella yesterday. God help me, I hope these two are using protection. The world needs a Bieber-Kardashian baby about as much as it needs a meteor strike. At least a meteor strike would kill us all pretty quickly, and we wouldn't have to relive it again every Sunday on E!.

*4 Kendall Jenner and Justin Bieber pictures total in the gallery:

  • Bieber Jenner Doing It 1
  • Bieber Jenner Doing It 2
  • Bieber Jenner Doing It 3
  • Bieber Jenner Doing It 4

Paparazzi photos from Monday, March 30

Justin Bieber arriving at a nightclub in L.A. (pics start here)

Olga Kurylenko at the 2015 Jameson Empire Awards at Grosvenor House in London (pics start here)

Melanie Griffith leaving a tattoo removal clinic in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Jessica Lowndes on her way to a nightclub in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Cindy Crawford and her husband Rande Gerber out and about in Malibu (pics start here)

Idris Elba filming Luther in London (pics start here)

Korrina Rico leaving Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Scott Disick out and about in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Fergie taking her son to a park in Brentwood (pics start here)

Gwen Stefani stopping by an acupuncture clinic in L.A. (pics start here)

Alexa Chung doing a photo shoot for Longchamp in Miami (pics start here)

Reality star Stassi Shroeder (Vanderpump Rules) at Simply Stylist L.A. at The Grove in Hollywood (pics start here)

*104 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber Clumsy Step 1
  • Justin Bieber Clumsy Step 2
  • Justin Bieber Clumsy Step 3
  • Justin Bieber Clumsy Step 4
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  • Justin Bieber Clumsy Step 1
  • Justin Bieber Clumsy Step 2
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  • Justin Bieber Clumsy Step 20

Justin Bieber's airbrushed bulge

According to breatheheavy (via the New York Post), Justin Bieber was a little dick on the set of his photoshoot for Calvin Klein. And I mean that literally. They airbrushed the shit out of him, including giving him a bigger dick. A source told the site:
"He was basically a douche. He hit on [model Lara Stone] several times and she had to stop him, basically calling him out on being just a child... Bieber specified he wanted to look 'taller and buff.' Bigger bulge implied."
I honestly can't make this story any funnier than "Justin Bieber has a small dick," so let's just leave it there. Justin Bieber has a small dick.

UPDATE: Aw fuck, I couldn't leave it alone. Just look at Justin's triceps and back on the airbrushed picture. You know who has triceps and a back like that in real life? The Rock. Justin Bieber did not hit the gym and turn into The Rock last week.

*6 Justin Bieber pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber Bulge 1
  • Justin Bieber Bulge 2
  • Justin Bieber Bulge 3
  • Justin Bieber Bulge 4
  • Justin Bieber Bulge 5

Justin Bieber leaving a medical building in L.A. (10/13)

Serious question: Why does Justin Bieber walk like a gorilla? Did he never learn how to walk? Was he raised in the Canadian wilderness? I need to know.

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*15 pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber Gorilla Walk 1
  • Justin Bieber Gorilla Walk 2
  • Justin Bieber Gorilla Walk 3
  • Justin Bieber Gorilla Walk 4
  • Justin Bieber Gorilla Walk 5
  • Justin Bieber Gorilla Walk 6
  • Justin Bieber Gorilla Walk 7
  • Justin Bieber Gorilla Walk 8
  • Justin Bieber Gorilla Walk 9
  • Justin Bieber Gorilla Walk 10
  • Justin Bieber Gorilla Walk 11
  • Justin Bieber Gorilla Walk 12
  • Justin Bieber Gorilla Walk 13
  • Justin Bieber Gorilla Walk 14
  • Justin Bieber Gorilla Walk 15

Justin Bieber and Kendall Jenner leaving Ferdi restaurant in Paris (10/1)

Here's Justin Bieber and Kendall Jenner having lunch together in Paris yesterday. Ouch. This has to infuriate Selena Gomez. Not only is her on-again/off-again boyfriend cheating on her, but he's doing it with a reality star. And yes, the stink of reality stardom absolutely trumps being known as a model. It's like if you have AIDS and a cold. Dude, you just have AIDS. Kendall, you're just a reality star.

*30 Justin and Kendall pictures total in the gallery:

  • Bieber Kendall Jenner 1
  • Bieber Kendall Jenner 2
  • Bieber Kendall Jenner 3
  • Bieber Kendall Jenner 4
  • Bieber Kendall Jenner 5
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  • Bieber Kendall Jenner 15
  • Bieber Kendall Jenner 1
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  • Bieber Kendall Jenner 15

Justin Bieber and Yovanna Ventura driving in L.A. (7/9)

No shock here, but a source tells the latest issue of OK! magazine that Justin Bieber basically has all of his friends on payroll. Wait, are you trying to tell me they don't hang out with him because of his charming personality?
"Justin is so used to everyone being at his beck and call that he's got a completely distorted view of friendship," says the source. "He thinks that by showering folks with gifts or flying them around on his private jet, he's buying their discretion, but many of them have no qualms about selling stories about him."

One of his biggest beneficiaries is Lil Za, who took the heat when drugs were found at Justin's house. "Justin gave Za two cars and a hundred grand after that whole debacle," says the source. The flock of girls who surround Justin don't come cheap either. "He loves getting girls to give him and his pals lap dances at his parties, so he throws wads of cash at them to do it," adds the source. "He thinks all his spending impresses people, but he doesn't realize that they're just using him."
Justin's going to have to learn the hard way one of life's most valuable lessons: as particles approach the speed of light, their relative mass increases exponentially buying the affection of others only leads to herpes hardship, herpes disappointment, and herpes pain. He'll also learn that blondes usually command a 32% premium over brunettes. Now, I'm not saying that's right, I'm just saying that's the free market. Thanks Milton Friedman!

*15 Justin Bieber pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber Paid Friends 1
  • Justin Bieber Paid Friends 2
  • Justin Bieber Paid Friends 3
  • Justin Bieber Paid Friends 4
  • Justin Bieber Paid Friends 5
  • Justin Bieber Paid Friends 6
  • Justin Bieber Paid Friends 7
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  • Justin Bieber Paid Friends 11
  • Justin Bieber Paid Friends 12
  • Justin Bieber Paid Friends 13
  • Justin Bieber Paid Friends 14
  • Justin Bieber Paid Friends 15

Paparazzi photos from Tuesday, September 2

Selena Gomez (and Justin Bieber) at his dad's house in Stratford, Ontario (pics start here)

Hilary Duff shopping in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Jamie Chung shopping in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Mandy Moore leaving Carousel Restaurant in Hollywood (pics start here)

Alessandra Ambrosio leaving the Brentwood Country Mart (pics start here)

Padma Lakshmi out and about in New York (pics start here)

Lisa Rinna leaving a yoga class in Studio City (pics start here)

Amanda Peet leaving Bristol Farms in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Irina Shayk catching a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)

Shia LaBeouf and his girlfriend Mia Goth out for lunch at Lemonade in Studio City (pics start here)

Kendall Jenner out and about in New York (pics start here)

Ashley Tisdale returning home in Toluca Lake (pics start here)

*104 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

  • Selena Gomez Canada Bikini 1
  • Selena Gomez Canada Bikini 2
  • Selena Gomez Canada Bikini 3
  • Selena Gomez Canada Bikini 4
  • Selena Gomez Canada Bikini 5
  • Selena Gomez Canada Bikini 6
  • Selena Gomez Canada Bikini 7
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  • Selena Gomez Canada Bikini 11
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  • Selena Gomez Canada Bikini 14
  • Selena Gomez Canada Bikini 15
  • Selena Gomez Canada Bikini 1
  • Selena Gomez Canada Bikini 2
  • Selena Gomez Canada Bikini 3
  • Selena Gomez Canada Bikini 4
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  • Selena Gomez Canada Bikini 1
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  • Selena Gomez Canada Bikini 10

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez driving to her home in Calabasas (8/17)

Stop me if you've heard this story before: Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez are messing around again. Justin's been banging his way through the model directory, but apparently that doesn't matter to Selena, because she spent the night at his house on Saturday. That's the two of them rolling around in his Ford Focus on Saturday -- oh no, that's right, he drives a Lamborghini. And owns like ten others. He's basically the Sultan of Brunei of boy banders. Don't think for a second, Justin, Selena won't drop you in a second when you lose your fortune. Somehow I don't think she's with you for your charming personality. "Let's get high on sizzurp and then I'll stick it in your butt, eh?"

*14 Justin and Selena pictures total in the gallery:

  • Selena Justin Bieber Lovers Weekend 1
  • Selena Justin Bieber Lovers Weekend 2
  • Selena Justin Bieber Lovers Weekend 3
  • Selena Justin Bieber Lovers Weekend 4
  • Selena Justin Bieber Lovers Weekend 5
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  • Selena Justin Bieber Lovers Weekend 14

Alyssa Arce in Ibiza (8/2)

Seriously, fuck this little asshole. Playboy's Miss July 2013 Alyssa Arce was spotted making out with Justin Bieber on a yacht earlier this week in Ibiza. What makes this especially painful is that Alyssa's measurements are 32D-24-34. Justin is basically banging a chick normally only seen in a comic book. Here. Take my dog. Kick it.

BONUS: Alyssa Arce naked here, here, here, here, here, here, and here

*20 Alyssa Arce pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber Alyssa Arce 1
  • Justin Bieber Alyssa Arce 2
  • Justin Bieber Alyssa Arce 3
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  • Justin Bieber Alyssa Arce 19
  • Justin Bieber Alyssa Arce 20

Would You Rather?

Would You Rather...? Spend one night with: