Justin Bieber


Justin Bieber at The Commons in Calabasas (6/24)

Justin Bieber doesn't care about red zones. Fuck your red zones. An outlaw like Justin Bieber will park where he wants to. There's a fire? Fuck your fire. There's a medical emergency? Fuck your medical emergency. There's a tow truck? Fuck your tow tr--wait a minute.

*5 Justin Bieber pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber Red Zone 1
  • Justin Bieber Red Zone 2
  • Justin Bieber Red Zone 3
  • Justin Bieber Red Zone 4
  • Justin Bieber Red Zone 5

Party at Selena's house!

Police were called to Selena Gomez's house last night because of a raging party. Oh thank god they responded so quickly. We're all safe now. From TMZ:
Law enforcement sources tell TMZ Selena's Hidden Hills, CA neighbors were so pissed off at the loud noise coming from her house at around 11:30 PM ... they called police. The cops responded and warned Selena and company to turn down the volume or else. One neighbor tells TMZ the noise was so ear-crushing her windows were rattling.

Sources connected with Selena and her family tell us he singer has told her kinfolk she's back with Justin Bieber because he's cleaned up his act. But they tell us they don't think it's coincidental at all that in the last few days she's spent a late, late night at a Hollywood club with Bieber and had an out-of-control party on a Tuesday night.
This is clearly Justin Bieber's fault. Before she met Justin, Selena's Tuesday nights were spent drinking milk, knitting poodle skirts, and listening to light Christian rock. Now that milk has been replaced by alcohol and she's listening to modern pop music laced with expletives. America's sweetheart has turned into a . . . wait for it . . . normal 21-year-old woman. EVERYBODY PANIC!

*15 Selena Gomez pictures total in the gallery:

  • Selena Gomez House Party 1
  • Selena Gomez House Party 2
  • Selena Gomez House Party 3
  • Selena Gomez House Party 4
  • Selena Gomez House Party 5
  • Selena Gomez House Party 6
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  • Selena Gomez House Party 13
  • Selena Gomez House Party 14
  • Selena Gomez House Party 15


Catchy song. I could see this going viral and rocketing to the top of the charts. What a talented kid!


Justin Bieber at the amfAR gala in Cap d'Antibes, France (5/22)

Aw, how cute. It's Justin Bieber's first racism scandal. TMZ unearthed a 5-year-old video of a 15-year-old Justin telling a racist joke about black people, and it's just the cutest thing you'll ever see. Of course all the usual predictable assholes are full of false outrage and the Biebs has been forced to apologize, even though the video is half a decade old and shows a teenager telling a dumb joke. The video is so old that Justin looks about as intimidating as a teenage lesbian with an eating disorder. Oh wait, that was a video of him yesterday. My bad.



*25 Justin Bieber pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber N Bomb 1
  • Justin Bieber N Bomb 2
  • Justin Bieber N Bomb 3
  • Justin Bieber N Bomb 4
  • Justin Bieber N Bomb 5
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  • Justin Bieber N Bomb 15
  • Justin Bieber N Bomb 1
  • Justin Bieber N Bomb 2
  • Justin Bieber N Bomb 3
  • Justin Bieber N Bomb 4
  • Justin Bieber N Bomb 5
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  • Justin Bieber N Bomb 8
  • Justin Bieber N Bomb 9
  • Justin Bieber N Bomb 10

Justin Bieber and Gigi Hadid on Sir Philip Green's yacht in Monaco (5/26)

Following the news that Justin Bieber probably nailed Adriana Lima during the Cannes Film Festival last week, here he is on a yacht in Monaco with just-turned-18 model Gigi Hadid. Damn this kid. I hope the Buddhists are right about that whole reincarnation thing, because there is no way this kid isn't coming back as the bottom of a porta potty at a NASCAR race. Gotta even things out.

*17 Justin Bieber and Gigi Hadid pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber Gigi Hadid 1
  • Justin Bieber Gigi Hadid 2
  • Justin Bieber Gigi Hadid 3
  • Justin Bieber Gigi Hadid 4
  • Justin Bieber Gigi Hadid 5
  • Justin Bieber Gigi Hadid 6
  • Justin Bieber Gigi Hadid 7
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  • Justin Bieber Gigi Hadid 10
  • Justin Bieber Gigi Hadid 11
  • Justin Bieber Gigi Hadid 12
  • Justin Bieber Gigi Hadid 13
  • Justin Bieber Gigi Hadid 14
  • Justin Bieber Gigi Hadid 15

Adriana Lima at the premiere of The Homesman at the Cannes Film Festival (5/18)

So Justin Bieber probably banged Adriana Lima at the Cannes Film Festival last week. Who knew she had a little boy fetish? From Us Weekly:
The duo's romance got started May 20 at the 1 Oak fete at local French Riviera club Gotha. A source tells Us that the singer, who is 12 years younger than Lima, made a beeline for the Brazilian model at the party.

"Justin pursued her hard," says a pal of the mom of two, who split from husband Marko Jaric in May after five years of marriage. At a private house party later that night, "they were talking nonstop," adds the source. "They went home together around 5 a.m."
From YouTube to Adriana Lima's pussy in six years. Talk about living the fucking dream, man. I'd be happy for him if his face wasn't so damn punchable. Just one shot, Justin? I've got a roll of quarters with your name on it.

*25 Adriana Lima pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber Adriana Lima 1
  • Justin Bieber Adriana Lima 2
  • Justin Bieber Adriana Lima 3
  • Justin Bieber Adriana Lima 4
  • Justin Bieber Adriana Lima 5
  • Justin Bieber Adriana Lima 6
  • Justin Bieber Adriana Lima 7
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  • Justin Bieber Adriana Lima 11
  • Justin Bieber Adriana Lima 12
  • Justin Bieber Adriana Lima 13
  • Justin Bieber Adriana Lima 14
  • Justin Bieber Adriana Lima 15
  • Justin Bieber Adriana Lima 1
  • Justin Bieber Adriana Lima 2
  • Justin Bieber Adriana Lima 3
  • Justin Bieber Adriana Lima 4
  • Justin Bieber Adriana Lima 5
  • Justin Bieber Adriana Lima 6
  • Justin Bieber Adriana Lima 7
  • Justin Bieber Adriana Lima 8
  • Justin Bieber Adriana Lima 9
  • Justin Bieber Adriana Lima 10

Paris Hilton at the VIP ROom in Cannes, France (5/16)

So Justin Bieber probably banged Paris Hilton. The two were spotted leaving Gotha nightclub together in Cannes after some heavy flirting. Which for Paris means everything up to anal. From E!:
Hilton didn't let their age difference (she's 33, he's 20) get in the way of some playful coziness with a shirtless Bieber--she hopped into his lap while he was sitting on a throne ... Before Bieber and Hilton left the club together with an entourage surrounding them.
This is great news. Drone strikes are way more successful when the two targets are near each other. Now if only we could get Kris Jenner over there. *lays down a dollar bill trail from Calabasas to Cannes*

*20 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton Justin Bieber Cannes 1
  • Paris Hilton Justin Bieber Cannes 2
  • Paris Hilton Justin Bieber Cannes 3
  • Paris Hilton Justin Bieber Cannes 4
  • Paris Hilton Justin Bieber Cannes 5
  • Paris Hilton Justin Bieber Cannes 6
  • Paris Hilton Justin Bieber Cannes 7
  • Paris Hilton Justin Bieber Cannes 8
  • Paris Hilton Justin Bieber Cannes 9
  • Paris Hilton Justin Bieber Cannes 10
  • Paris Hilton Justin Bieber Cannes 1
  • Paris Hilton Justin Bieber Cannes 2
  • Paris Hilton Justin Bieber Cannes 3
  • Paris Hilton Justin Bieber Cannes 4
  • Paris Hilton Justin Bieber Cannes 5
  • Paris Hilton Justin Bieber Cannes 6
  • Paris Hilton Justin Bieber Cannes 7
  • Paris Hilton Justin Bieber Cannes 8
  • Paris Hilton Justin Bieber Cannes 9
  • Paris Hilton Justin Bieber Cannes 10

Justin Bieber horseback riding at Griffith Park in L.A. (5/12) 

Last time I checked, it was still legal to take pictures in public, but Justin Bieber doesn't give a fuck. In an act of cowboy justice gone wrong -- giddyup -- he forcibly tried to erase pictures from an innocent mom's phone Monday night at the Sherman Oaks Castle Park, and is now being investigated by the LAPD for attempted robbery. From TMZ:

She says she refused to fork over the phone so he then went into her purse and grabbed it. The woman says she began wrestling with Bieber, trying to get her phone back.  She says he ripped it out of her hands but couldn't accomplish his mission because the phone was locked.

She says Justin gave her the phone back and demanded that she unlock it to see if she took photos.  She obliged and showed Justin she had taken none.  She says she told Justin she and her 13-year-old daughter just wanted to say hi, and Justin screamed, "You're humiliating yourself in front of your daughter.  Why don't you just get out of here."  

And the icing on the cake:

Her daughter started crying.

After the girl started crying, Justin taunted her further by revealing that Santa Claus isn't real and that the Easter Bunny is actually a marketing tool created by the Republican Party in the '50s to sell worthless oil bonds to minorities. Totally uncalled for, man. It's true, but she didn't need to find out like that.

*30 Justin Bieber pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber Robbery 1
  • Justin Bieber Robbery 2
  • Justin Bieber Robbery 3
  • Justin Bieber Robbery 4
  • Justin Bieber Robbery 5
  • Justin Bieber Robbery 6
  • Justin Bieber Robbery 7
  • Justin Bieber Robbery 8
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  • Justin Bieber Robbery 15
  • Justin Bieber Robbery 1
  • Justin Bieber Robbery 2
  • Justin Bieber Robbery 3
  • Justin Bieber Robbery 4
  • Justin Bieber Robbery 5
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  • Justin Bieber Robbery 9
  • Justin Bieber Robbery 10
  • Justin Bieber Robbery 11
  • Justin Bieber Robbery 12
  • Justin Bieber Robbery 13
  • Justin Bieber Robbery 14
  • Justin Bieber Robbery 15

Madison Beer outside Hit Factory in Miami (4/8)

Justin Bieber and his 15-year-old YouTube discovery Madison Beer -- who coincidentally is a dead ringer for Selena Gomez -- were recording earlier this week at Hit Factory in Miami, and oh hey, what a coincidence, Selena Gomez showed up. After all three had a discussion on what it's like to go through puberty (based on rumors they heard), Selena then eye-stabbed Madison 47 times to death. Oh well, I guess you can't say the Biebs doesn't have a type. Because even four inches feels huge in a 92-pound chick.

*30 Justin Bieber and Madison Beer pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber Madison Beer 1
  • Justin Bieber Madison Beer 2
  • Justin Bieber Madison Beer 3
  • Justin Bieber Madison Beer 4
  • Justin Bieber Madison Beer 5
  • Justin Bieber Madison Beer 6
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  • Justin Bieber Madison Beer 13
  • Justin Bieber Madison Beer 14
  • Justin Bieber Madison Beer 15
  • Justin Bieber Madison Beer 1
  • Justin Bieber Madison Beer 2
  • Justin Bieber Madison Beer 3
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  • Justin Bieber Madison Beer 11
  • Justin Bieber Madison Beer 12
  • Justin Bieber Madison Beer 13
  • Justin Bieber Madison Beer 14
  • Justin Bieber Madison Beer 15

Justin Bieber failing his sobriety test in Miami (1/23)

"Enjoyed immensely!" - Dan Harrison, Newark Star Tribune

"This video lacks baton strikes. 2/5 stars." - Rosylyn Murphy, L.A. Times

"The police officer gives a fine, nuanced performance, but the actor in the red shoes really nails the role of complete douche bag. I really believed." Reggie Mills, San Francisco Chronicle

"Fag." - Ted Nugent


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