Justin Bieber


Justin Bieber skateboarding to an office in Beverly Hills (1/10)

Oh, did you hear the news? Scientists have discovered that once you reach a certain level of fame, being hit by a fucking car in the middle of a god damn intersection no longer hurts. Good for you, Justin Bieber. Good for you.

*30 Justin Bieber pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber Skateboard Car 1
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Justin Bieber making out with Hailey Baldwin

Congratulations to those of you that guessed "Haily Baldwin" on the "Who will Justin Bieber be in on New Years?" sweepstakes. Your prize is an overwhelming feeling of jealousy and envy. The two are ringing in 2016 together in a luxury beachfront mansion on the Caribbean island of Anguilla (pics via Bieber's instagram). Wow, I almost made it four whole days into 2016 without cursing this asshole's name. Seriously, fuck Justin Bieber.

*10 Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber Hailey Baldwin 1
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Kourtney Kardashian's butt, via Instagram

Rather than it just being a recent thing, Us Weekly says Justin Bieber and Kourtney Kardashain (butt pic via Instagram yesterday) have been having sexual relations for months. And that baby machine hasn't gotten pregnant yet? A true Christmas miracle!
"Justin and Kourtney have been hooking up since late August, early September," a source tells Us.

Not only has the "Sorry" singer, 21, "bragged" about his latest escapades, but another source adds, "Justin started hanging out with Kourtney alone because she started going out more."

Naturally, this hasn't made the self-proclaimed [Scott] Disick, 32, feel too good, but an insider tells Us that he hasn't said a word against the romance.

"He's had so many stories about him recently, he has no reason to be pissed," a source says. "He feels like he has to take the humiliation."
Quite an accomplishment for Justin. At this point the only member of the Kardashian family he hasn't nailed yet is North West . . . but I'm sure Kim is working on that for the future. "Kanye, is 10 too young to start dating?"

*16 Kourtney Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:

  • Bieber Kourtney Casual Hookups 1
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Kourtney Kardashian leaving The Nice Guy nightclub in West Hollywood (12/12)

Page Six is confirming today that Justin Bieber and Kourtney Kardashian are definitely hooking up. They partied together at Nice Guy in West Hollywood on Saturday night before continuing on to Blind Dragon. Though they left separately, they both met back up at Justin's hotel room at the Mondrian for a slumber party. Ghost stories and boy talk! Eeeeeeek! A source told the paper:
In an apparent jab at "Lord Disick," a nickname that [Kourtney's ex Scott] Disick, 32, created for himself, Bieber posted a photo to Instagram Sunday of himself straddling a mystery woman on the hood of an Audi sports car alongside the cryptic caption, "Lord knows."

"Scott hates it that Bieber is the younger, hotter and richer version of him -- in his eyes -- and seeing him with Kourtney pisses him off even more," said the insider. "Kourtney knows it upsets him, so when Scott flaunts being out with other girls, she hangs out with Justin to get back at him."

But a source close to Kardashian says the reality star and singer are "just friends."
You can't really blame Kourtney for hooking up with Justin. Her sisters Kendall and Kylie are a lot younger than her -- maybe she just wanted to connect with them. "Oh my gosh Kylie, did Justin do that thing with his tongue where he bites your nipple and then . . ." I know, gross, but this is the kind of reality these freaks live in.

*16 Kourtney Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:

  • Kourtney Kardashian Justin Beiber Sleepover 1
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Justin-Bieber-Jennifer-Aniston.jpg
via Justin Bieber's Instagram

At this point in his career, I'm just gonna assume that Justin Bieber banged Jennifer Aniston. It's easier that way.


Justin Bieber at The Square Pig and Pen pub in London (10/21)

Justin Bieber drank a real life beer at a pub in London a few nights ago. Yes, you read that right -- beer. Not a strawberry daiquiri; not a Mike's Hard Lemonade; not a Smirnoff Ice. Good ol' fashioned beer. Now all he has to do is kill a spider by himself and wear underwear without an action hero on them, and we can officially call him a man. Proud of you, Justin.

*15 pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber Pub 1
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Jeremy Bieber and Justin Bieber in Miami last year (10/12)

Your dad publicly congratulating you on the size of your penis. Most awkward thing ever? Or is that still less awkward than your dad abandoning you as a baby and then suddenly loving you again because you're rich?

Jeremy-Bieber-Dick-Tweet-11.jpg

*10 Jeremy Bieber pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jeremy Bieber Dick Tweet 1
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Justin Bieber and his large penis arriving for a flight at LAX airport (9/25)

A new low today on Celebslam. A post about Justin Bieber's penis. The pics were taken a few days ago when he went for a naked swim in Bora Bora. He's currently on vacation there with really attractive model Jayde Piece. The thing about his penis is . . . it's not what you expect a scrawny Canadian YouTube star to be packing. It's kind of . . . largeish. I officially have no reason to live. Goodbye, cruel world.

*25 Justin Bieber penis pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber Penis 1
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Xenia Deli in her work clothes

Justin Bieber is banging Moldovan model Xenia Deli? Sure, why not. He was bored. From the Daily Mail:
The pair were spotted cosying up on a date on Friday night in Los Angeles. Fans took snaps and recorded videos of the couple as they enjoyed a night together at a piano bar, having walked in together hand-in-hand. Justin even took to the keys and serenaded her with a few songs, including the Beatles' Let It Be, as she sidled up beside him on the bench.

At one stage, Bieber shared a snap on Instagram of their footsie-playing feet beneath the piano - his in flat white trainers, hers in pointed white shoes showing major toe cleavage - but he swiftly deleted it.

The 25-year-old is also set to appear alongside the singer in the video for the much-hyped new song, What Do You Mean, in which she is reported to be playing the main role.
I uploaded a few videos of myself singing in the shower to YouTube and I got, like, 250 views. Justin Bieber uploaded a few videos to YouTube and he got to bang Xenia Deli. That doesn't seem fair. That doesn't seem fair at all. Maybe it was because I dropped the soap?

*41 Xenia Deli pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber Xenia Deli 1
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Justin Bieber in Bora Bora (7/6)

The pale white skin . . . the lack of adult male musculature . . . why does this feel like I'm gonna get arrested for child porn?

*5 Justin Bieber pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber Ass 1
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Would You Rather?

Would You Rather...? Spend one night with: