Justin Bieber performing in Saskatoon, Canada (6/16)
I don't know about you, but I've watched this video 100 times of Justin Bieber falling off the stage last night in Saskatoon (which sounds like the most Canadian place ever btw), and I've laughed 100 times. I love you, gravity. I love you so much. Cheers to Isaac Newton!
The Justin Bieber fight video
Here's the now infamous video of Justin Bieber getting beaten up after the Cavs/Warriors game in Cleveland on Wednesday night. I'm worried about what's become of Justin. It seemed like only yesterday he was an oddly tiny boy dreaming of the day he'd finally grow into an adult man's body. Wait a minute . . . that was yesterday! Seriously Justin, don't pick fights with guys who look like they have WorldStar as their homepage.
Justin Bieber and Rita Ora leaving Warwick nightclub in Hollywood (6/1)
Add Rita Ora to the list of chicks Justin Bieber has nailed. The two were spotted leaving Warwick nightclub in Hollywood late Wednesday night/early Thursday morning. I know they could have been there just as friends, but Rita wore this skirt (with gratuitous upskirt here). That's not a "just friends" skirt. That's a "it's the vernal equinox, my field is tilled, and I'm ready for your seed" skirt . . . dammit I need to stop reading Farmer's Almanac. It's really screwing with my analogies.
*30 Justin Bieber and Rita Ora pictures total in the gallery:
Chelsea Rabelo in a bikini
Justin Bieber's gonna have a new mom soon. His dad Jeremy proposed to his girlfriend Chelsea Rabelo down in St. Barts yesterday (gosh, Jeremy must have been saving for that trip his entire life /sarcasm). Chelsea's only 7 years older than Justin, but I hope that doesn't stop her from acting like a mom. "Dammit, Justin, you're grounded! Go to your villa!"
*25 Chelsea Rabelo pictures total in the gallery:
Justin Bieber skateboarding to an office in Beverly Hills (1/10)
Oh, did you hear the news? Scientists have discovered that once you reach a certain level of fame, being hit by a fucking car in the middle of a god damn intersection no longer hurts. Good for you, Justin Bieber. Good for you.
*30 Justin Bieber pictures total in the gallery:
Justin Bieber making out with Hailey Baldwin
Congratulations to those of you that guessed "Haily Baldwin" on the "Who will Justin Bieber be in on New Years?" sweepstakes. Your prize is an overwhelming feeling of jealousy and envy. The two are ringing in 2016 together in a luxury beachfront mansion on the Caribbean island of Anguilla (pics via Bieber's instagram). Wow, I almost made it four whole days into 2016 without cursing this asshole's name. Seriously, fuck Justin Bieber.
*10 Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin pictures total in the gallery:
Kourtney Kardashian's butt, via Instagram
Rather than it just being a recent thing, Us Weekly says Justin Bieber and Kourtney Kardashain (butt pic via Instagram yesterday) have been having sexual relations for months. And that baby machine hasn't gotten pregnant yet? A true Christmas miracle!
"Justin and Kourtney have been hooking up since late August, early September," a source tells Us.Quite an accomplishment for Justin. At this point the only member of the Kardashian family he hasn't nailed yet is North West . . . but I'm sure Kim is working on that for the future. "Kanye, is 10 too young to start dating?"
Not only has the "Sorry" singer, 21, "bragged" about his latest escapades, but another source adds, "Justin started hanging out with Kourtney alone because she started going out more."
Naturally, this hasn't made the self-proclaimed [Scott] Disick, 32, feel too good, but an insider tells Us that he hasn't said a word against the romance.
"He's had so many stories about him recently, he has no reason to be pissed," a source says. "He feels like he has to take the humiliation."
*16 Kourtney Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:
Kourtney Kardashian leaving The Nice Guy nightclub in West Hollywood (12/12)
Page Six is confirming today that Justin Bieber and Kourtney Kardashian are definitely hooking up. They partied together at Nice Guy in West Hollywood on Saturday night before continuing on to Blind Dragon. Though they left separately, they both met back up at Justin's hotel room at the Mondrian for a slumber party. Ghost stories and boy talk! Eeeeeeek! A source told the paper:
In an apparent jab at "Lord Disick," a nickname that [Kourtney's ex Scott] Disick, 32, created for himself, Bieber posted a photo to Instagram Sunday of himself straddling a mystery woman on the hood of an Audi sports car alongside the cryptic caption, "Lord knows."You can't really blame Kourtney for hooking up with Justin. Her sisters Kendall and Kylie are a lot younger than her -- maybe she just wanted to connect with them. "Oh my gosh Kylie, did Justin do that thing with his tongue where he bites your nipple and then . . ." I know, gross, but this is the kind of reality these freaks live in.
"Scott hates it that Bieber is the younger, hotter and richer version of him -- in his eyes -- and seeing him with Kourtney pisses him off even more," said the insider. "Kourtney knows it upsets him, so when Scott flaunts being out with other girls, she hangs out with Justin to get back at him."
But a source close to Kardashian says the reality star and singer are "just friends."
*16 Kourtney Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:
via Justin Bieber's Instagram
At this point in his career, I'm just gonna assume that Justin Bieber banged Jennifer Aniston. It's easier that way.
Justin Bieber at The Square Pig and Pen pub in London (10/21)
Justin Bieber drank a real life beer at a pub in London a few nights ago. Yes, you read that right -- beer. Not a strawberry daiquiri; not a Mike's Hard Lemonade; not a Smirnoff Ice. Good ol' fashioned beer. Now all he has to do is kill a spider by himself and wear underwear without an action hero on them, and we can officially call him a man. Proud of you, Justin.
*15 pictures total in the gallery: