Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber defends Kim Kardashian

In an interview in the new issue of GQ, Justin Bieber cums to the defense of Kim Kardashian. Oh, and "cums" isn't a typo. Not when writing about Kim Kardashian. The awesome Drew Magary writes:

After forty minutes, Bieber's done. That's it. I have been told repeatedly what a hard worker he is, but in two nights—Bieber only records at night—I've witnessed him work for a grand total of forty minutes. Soon he's back to pinballing around the studio. He catches [business adviser Allison Kaye] ragging on Kim Kardashian. "That bitch should never wear white in public again," she says. Bieber gets mildly indignant and sticks up for Kardashian. "You guys are so mean, bro.... People say she doesn't do anything; she actually does do stuff.... She works hard."

Aw, how sweet of Justin to defend Kim. As a sign of her gratitude, I bet she gives him a Bouquet of Roses. Yep, a nice big Bouquet of Roses.

NOTE: "Bouquet of Roses" is what Kim calls a blowjob where she tickles the guy's asshole at the same time. She's a hopeless romantic like that.

*11 Justin Bieber and Kim Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:

Vanessa Hudgens filming Spring Breakers in St. Petersburg, FL (3/14)

If this somehow results in a vicious cat fight between Vanessa Hudgens and Selena Gomez (preferably in a huge kiddie pool filled with pudding), Justin Bieber will become my new best friend in the whole entire world. From the National Enquirer:

Vanessa Hudgens, 23, co-stars with Selena Gomez, 19, in the upcoming movie "Spring Breakers," and insiders say "Baby" singer Justin, 18, flipped for Vanessa while visiting Selena during filming.  "Justin spent a lot of time on the set in Florida during the late winter and early spring," said a source. "He was there to see Selena, but he wound up falling hard for Vanessa. He couldn't stop raving about how smart, sexy and talented she is. Plus, he loves the fact that Vanessa is like Selena, but minus the goody-two-shoes personality."

The two stuck up a friendship even though Vanessa is dating 20-year-old actor Austin Butler, and they've been secretly texting each other since "Spring Breakers" wrapped, said the source. "Their banter tends to get very suggestive," the source revealed. "A mutual friend told Selena about it, and she is freaked. Now Selena is threatening to dump Justin unless he cuts ties with Vanessa." (Print Edition - 5/12)

Buddies, I just don't know what to think anymore. Up is down and down is up, Pepsi Max tastes better than regular Pepsi, and Justin Bieber has his pick between Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens to plant his Canadian trouser mouse inside of. Suffering shitballs, why do I even bother to put the work in? I'm devilishly handsome, I can charm the girdles off of nuns, and I can do 20 cock pushups without breaking a sweat. What I can't do is sing or dance -- clearly neither can Bieber, yet he's the one with the pick of the litter. "...he loves the fact that Vanessa is like Selena, but minus the goody-two-shoes personality." You know what that means, right? Not only does Vanessa have the ability to suck a football through a crazy straw, she'll totally let you in the back door. I believe she's what psychologists call a "good girl." I've had my say, I'm gonna go lay down and cry myself to sleep. Fuck you, Bieber.

*43 Vanessa Hudgens pictures total in the gallery:

Get a room, you two

That's Selena Gomez surprising Justin Bieber on Saturday on the set of the music video for his new song Girlfriend in L.A. Gee, what a coincidence -- Saturday also happened to be the day Justin filmed a kissing scene for the video with a ridiculously hot brunette chick. But I'm sure Selena didn't know about that. And I'm sure she didn't have a rusty shank hidden in her boot. And I'm sure she didn't corner the brunette in the bathroom and threaten to "cut a white bitch" unless she immediately left the country after filming. Nope. I'm sure none of that happened.

*17 Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez pictures total in the gallery:

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez might be drunk

Flynet says that 18-year-old Justin Bieber and 19-year-old Selena Gomez seemed "like they had a little too much to drink" last night as they were leaving a sports bar in St. Petersburg, Florida (Selena's in town filming Spring Breakers). Indeed, despite not really caring about the paparazzi earlier in the day, Selena hid her face as she was leaving. And Justin seemed like he was having way too much fun for being in St. Petersburg. God, someone grows a few pubic hairs and suddenly thinks he can start flouting underage drinking laws. The nerve of this punk. Maybe that's how you do things up in Canada, but here in America, when an underage kid wants to get drunk, we do so in the privacy of our own cars.

*24 Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber pictures total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Saturday, January 14 and Sunday, January 15

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez at a grocery store in Encino (pics start here)

Irina Shayk out and about in New York (pics start here)

Vanessa Hudgens arriving at Melbourne Airport in Australia (pics start here)

Heidi Klum out and about in L.A. (pics start here)

Ashley Benson arriving at the Staples Center for the Lakers vs. Clippers game (pics start here)

Natalie Portman and her fiance Benjamin Millepied leaving a friend's house in Santa Monica (pics start here)

Angelina Jolie attending the American Cinematheque's Foreign-Language Nominee Series in Hollywood (pics start here)

Kathy Hilton and Kim Richards leaving Beverly Hills Nails Design (pics start here)

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner going out to brunch in L.A. (pics start here)

Miranda Cosgrove arriving on a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)

Selma Blair and fiance Jason Bleick shopping in L.A. (pics start here)

Debra Messing arriving on a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)

Julianna Margulies and her husband Keith Lieberthal arriving on a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)

*134 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

Justin Bieber unveiling the new "mRobo Ultra" Bass at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas (1/11)

MY CAPTION: "OK Justin, show me on the doll where the man touched you."

YOUR CAPTION: Leave it in the comments . . .

*21 Justin Bieber pictures total in the gallery:

Justin Bieber is pathetic

Justin Bieber is currently on vacation in Cabo San Lucas with Selena Gomez, and on Saturday he went for a little walk on the beach. Wow, he is really tall for being 11. Imagine when he finally hits his teens and goes through puberty. Kid is going to be seriously ripped. I bet he ends up looking like Randy Couture.

UPDATE: Just learned that Justin's actually 17 and turns 18 in March. What a cruel cruel joke from God. Does he have that Benjamin Button disease?

*31 Justin Bieber pictures total in the gallery:

Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber leaving IHOP in Sherman Oaks (11/21)

For the second time in as many months, Selena Gomez was spotted leaving an IHOP in L.A., this time with her boyfriend Justin Bieber. I know it's not really a big deal that she likes chain restaurants, but I just thought it was sorta interesting that she does some of the same things I do. I wonder if she also steals her neighbor's mail? Wait a minute . . . you didn't read that.

*30 Selena Gomez pictures total in the gallery:

Justin Bieber walking his dog in L.A. (11/21)

Raise your hand if you're half-surprised that Justin Bieber's underwear don't have rocket ships on them.

*11 Justin Bieber pictures total in the gallery:

Justin Bieber arriving for dinner at Mr Chow restaurant in London (11/14)

The tabloids are going batshit today because Justin Bieber ate dinner with a "mystery girl" (picture here) at Mr. Chow in London last night that they'll have you believe is some kind of sadist devil-worshiping hooker with a vendetta against Selena Gomez, but who's probably just his cousin. Oh, and he also flipped off the paparazzi, that again, they'll have you believe is some kind of gateway gesture to hardcore drug use. To recap: Justin Bieber is not cheating on Selena Gomez while high on meth.

*21 Justin Bieber pictures total in the gallery: