Josh Hartnett probably banged Mischa Barton
Persistence paid off for Mischa Barton last night in London. Her reward? Josh Hartnett's penis. A source told the Daily Mail.
[Barton] spent a good hour writhing in front of Josh at the bar last night, and must have made an impression as they both headed back to his hotel at the end of the night. Not to suggest that anything happened between the extremely good-looking and single pair - and Mischa did trundle back to her own hotel an hour later. The actress, 22, looked desperate to impress Josh at the Temperley afterparty at Bungalow 8 when she arrived at 11pm.A source said: "Josh looked pretty bored and was totally ignoring Mischa. She persisted though, and kept getting closer and closer to their table while dancing provocatively. Lots of girls were trying to get near their table, where the two guys were drinking champagne and vodka cocktails. Mischa had a lot to contend with, but didn't give up." (Source)
She left his room after only an hour? The least the guy could have done was hit it long enough for her to work off her cottage cheese ass. It must be nice to be Josh Hartnett: Rich, good looking, and not having to be burdened by that whole "working" thing. On a side note: If a single guy were locked in a room with Mischa Barton and Jennifer Aniston, do you think he would lose one limb or two?
Josh Hartnett at LAX (11/28)
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Scarlett Johansson is pissed at ex-boyfriend Josh Hartnett. The pair dated for two years before breaking up under less than amicable terms at the end of 2006. Now Scarlett thinks Josh is trying to hook up with her friends as payback. From the National Enquirer:
Furious Scarlett's telling insiders Josh "is just trying to get back at her for breaking up with him!" A mutual pal says unrepentant Josh rages that dating Scarlett "took five years off his life" because of her demanding, controlling ways – and he "doesn't feel beholden to spare her feelings" if he happens to feel like phoning one of her friends. (Source)
I wouldn't mind dating a "demanding" and "controlling" Scarlett Johansson. She could wear the leather, I could wear the nipple clamps ... or vice versa. As a matter of fact, she's so fine, I wouldn't care HOW strange/weird that chick was, I'd still date her. About the only thing that could come between us is if she had a bigger package than I did ... and I'd probably get over that eventually!
Josh Hartnett is probably banging Penelope Cruz. The two were spotted at the Little Door restaurant in Los Angeles acting like a couple of high-schoolers. A source told the New York Daily News:
"They were touchy-feely all night, holding hands and kissing." (Source)
Just because Josh and Penelope were all "touchy-feely" doesn't mean they're a couple. My fourth grade teacher used to get all "touchy-feely" with me and I definitely didn't consider her to be my girlfriend. And the jury didn't either, using terms like "predator" and "child-rapist." I swear, juries can be so dramatic sometimes!
Is Josh Hartnett a hero? No, of course not. Why would you even ask such a stupid question? At most he's a "stand-up citizen." At least that's what the New York Post called him for coming to aid of a women outside New York's Whiskey Ward bar at 4am the other night. According to a source:
"[Josh] stopped a guy from harassing a woman. He was just helping her out. No punches were thrown - there were just some raised voices on the corner." (Source)
So basically a drunk Josh Harnett told a guy to stop yelling at a hooker (c'mon it was 4am). And this was deemed newsworthy by a major New York publication. Yet this video clip of my kitten trapped in a pillowcase couldn't even crack my local cable access news. You don't understand, it's a kitten trapped in a pillowcase, IT'S FREAKING CUTE.
So basically a drunk Josh Harnett told a guy to stop yelling at a hooker (c'mon it was 4am). And this was deemed newsworthy by a major New York publication. Yet this video clip of my kitten trapped in a pillowcase couldn't even crack my local cable access news. You don't understand, it's a kitten trapped in a pillowcase, IT'S FREAKING CUTE.
So basically a drunk Josh Harnett told a guy to stop yelling at a hooker (c'mon it was 4am). And this was deemed newsworthy by a major New York publication. Yet this video clip of my kitten trapped in a pillowcase couldn't even crack my local cable access news. You don't understand, it's a kitten trapped in a pillowcase, IT'S FREAKING CUTE.
So basically a drunk Josh Harnett told a guy to stop yelling at a hooker (c'mon it was 4am). And this was deemed newsworthy by a major New York publication. Yet this video clip of my kitten trapped in a pillowcase couldn't even crack my local cable access news. You don't understand, it's a kitten trapped in a pillowcase, IT'S FREAKING CUTE.
Josh Hartnett is finally opening up about his painful breakup with former girlfriend Scarlett Johansson. Hartnett told UK newspaper The Daily Mirror that the year-long relationship was incredibly difficult because of the two actors' travel schedules and at the end of the day "we're just ordinary people and it didn't work." A source close to the couple said Josh took the breakup especially hard, feeling "gutted" over the break up:
"Scarlett was very much a one-off. She was independent, feisty and outgoing - everything he wanted," the source said.Hartnett will have plenty to keep his mind off the break up to Johansson. His latest initiative has seen him become the face of an awareness campaign over climate change, and will soon meet with prime minister Tony Blair over global warming issues.
Who cares about how he feels about Johansson, check out the last line of the story. Josh Hartnett is meeting with Tony Blair to discuss global warming. Let me repeat that. The dude that was in Halloween H20 is meeting with the British Prime Minister to discuss global warming. And no Josh, telling Tony Blair about that time your fudgesicle melted because you left it on the sidewalk does not count as "evidence" of global warming. Neither does that "really neat" picture you sketched of the polar bear wearing sunglasses.
Even though Josh Hartnett and Scarlett Johansson were seen making out at a New York restaurant, they are not dating exclusively. Last Saturday Josh hooked up with supermodel and Victoria's Secret Angel Gisele Bundchen. Scarlett's fine with that since she an "open relationship" policy:
Hartnett was spotted at Spotted Pig sucking face with supermodel Gisele Bundchen Saturday night. "They were all over each other," said the spy. Reps for Harnett didn't return calls, and a rep for Bundchen would not comment.
So this is the type of guy that women desire nowadays? I should be arguing with this dude over how much he charged for unclogging my toilet not reading about him banging supermodels and actresses with "open relationship" policies (euphemism for "cock hungry" BTW). If he passes for a hearthrob then so does my door--it has a shiny knob!
Josh Harnett might be back together with Scarlett Johansson. Last month The New York Post reported that the two had split due to conflicting schedules (other gossip columnists--myself for example--think Josh's small penis was the primary catalyst for the breakup). Anyways, last week the two were seen at a New York restaurant together:
The comely couple was spotted Friday night reigniting their relationship at TriBeCa restaurant Cercle Rouge. "They had a meal and got progressively cozier as the night went on," said our spy. "Then they started to make out in full view of the restaurant at their table and didn't really care who saw."
aking out inside a restaurant is the best! There's romance, and then there's swapping little bits of food from a just-finished meal with your significant other. How can roses and candlelit dinners possibly compete?
I could go on about how Josh and Scarlett are only publicly making out to get their names in the tabloid, but in the spirit of the Christmas season, I'm giving the two of them a pass--only because Josh looks like this Cabbage Patch Kid I used to dry hump.
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