Fergie and Josh Duhamel are married
You may have heard this already but Fergie and Josh Duhamel got married over the weekend in Malibu. The two have been dating since 2004 and engaged since 2007. My wedding gift to Fergie is my pledge that -- for one month -- I won't mention these pics from 2005 where she pissed her pants on stage . . . check out the pics below (the second one is probably the nastiest though number three made me puke in my mouth a little too) . . . beginning NOW.
Josh Duhamel is drunk
Their wedding just two days away, Fergie and her fiancé Josh Duhamel had a joint Bachelor-Bachelorette party last night at Dakota Bar in Santa Monica. They both got pretty shitfaced --
Fergie even had to be helped out of the bar. BTW, if you're a guy and you're nodding your head in approval at the idea of a joint Bachelor-Bachelorette party, go ahead and punch yourself in the nuts right now. Bachelor parties are supposed to be all about the fellas, copious amounts of alcohol, and debates over whether you can smuggle the dead stripper's body out of the hotel in the mini fridge. Turns out the answer is no. Ha! I told you Frank!

Anneliese Van Der Pol at the Central Park Zoo (11/2007)
aybe. Kind reader "Amy" emailed me:
hey heres a HUGE tip! fergie's fiancee josh duhamel is having a "thing" with anneliese van der pol shes not that famous she was the red head on thats so raven. anyways they met back last year when they were both in new york on live with regis and kelly. a friend of mine works there and he said they were very very friendly with each other and even exchanged numbers when they found out they lived close to each other in la, anneliese was heard saying that josh was "very cute" then it was said that anneliese was spotted on the set of of josh's new film "when in rome" when it was filming in santa clarita, ca
So it's official: if you're good at assumptions and reading between the lines, Josh Duhamel is definitely maybe cheating on Fergie with this Anneliese Van Der Pol chick. Or maybe he's not. You can take that rock-solid gossip to the bank folks!
NOTE: If Josh is banging Anneliese, I have a newfound respect for him. He's so straight, he doesn't care that most of the chicks he's banging are ugly -- he only cares that they have a functioning vagina. A true man's man if you will.

When asked by a reporter if she wants kids, Fergie replied, "Neigh"
Fergie's longtime boyfriend, Las Vegas star Josh Duhamel, revealed in a recent interview with OK! magazine that he wants kids with the pop star . . . which would be cool and all if Fergie was 1/10 as attractive as the media would have you believe. But she's not so, alas, we're left to make fun of the situation. Duhamel told OK!:
"I've got a lot of friends with kids. Two of my friends have three kids. They all have kids except for me — so I got to get on the horse!" (Source)
Weird, I was gonna use that same line about the horse . . .

This story is wrong on so many levels. From the New York Post:
Josh Duhamel is one lucky dog (Editor's Note: WTF?!?). The hunk not only has the No. 1 movie in the nation, "Transformers," he's just installed a stripper pole at home so live-in girlfriend Fergie can entertain him with a little bump and grind. "Fergie is taking lessons, but she won't get on it until she knows what she's doing, 'cause she doesn't want to look stupid," Duhamel tells next month's Glamour. He adds there's "no way" he could have scored with the Black Eyed Peas stunner when he was younger: "She would have been too hot for me in high school. I would have been intimidated by her." (Source)
She "doesn't want to look stupid?" She should have thought of that before she pissed her pants on stage last year (pics below). And as far as being pretty good at "bumping and grinding" on a stripper pole, she should be an expert considering she probably polishes her own pole each night. Now, I'm not saying this chick is manly, it's just that her five o'clock shadow sometimes makes me jealous.

Fergie says she "stalked" current boyfriend Josh Duhamel after she read about him having "explicit dreams" about her in a magazine interview. Fergie admitted:
"I read in a magazine that he had a naughty dream about me." (Source)
I have naughty dreams about Fergie, too, but mine are more "that's against the law and I could do 15-20 years" kind of naughty. Fergie continues:
"All my friends told me: 'Take one for the team!'"
What the hell? Do this bitch even know what "Take one for the team" means? It's like she's just saying random things she heard someone say somewhere. She needs to just shut up and focus on sports and lifting weights or whatever the hell trannies do in their free time.
BTW, here's the definition of "take one for the team" from Urban Dictionary:
The act of taking the obese chick in a bunch of hot chicks, so the the other guys can get laid. Unfortunately, there are very few men who will take one for the team, and with good reason. If you find one, let me know. (Source)
Now get back to work