During the actress's trip to Europe earlier this month to promote her new film Marley & Me, she was apparently infuriated when the musician claimed he was too busy to return her calls, but found time to update his Twitter page. A friend of the 40-year-old actress said she was unimpressed he found time to write random ramblings on the site, but not to contact her.No fucking way this is true. Jen's biological clock is approaching midnight. She wouldn't dump a guy even if she discovered that his hobby is having sex with corpses. "Just please don't do it around me . . . can we get married now?"
A pal claimed in America's Star magazine: "John suddenly stopped calling her or returning her e-mails and when she would finally catch up with him, he'd say, 'I've been so busy with work. I'm sorry I haven't had time to call you back.' Jen was fuming. There he was, telling her he didn't have time for her and yet his page was filled with Twitter updates. Every few hours, sometimes minutes, he'd update with some stupid line. And in her mind, she was like, 'He has time for all this Twittering but he can't send me a text, an email, make a call?'" (Source)
"This is the first time I've ever walked a red carpet with someone," [Mayer] said.E!'s Marc Malkin today:
"I think that's big. Are you both happy?" King asked.
Said Aniston, "Very happy." (Source)
Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer may have called it quits. That's the rumor I'm hearing. A source says the pair's on-again, off-again relationship may have ended sometime within the last week, when Aniston returned from her overseas Marley & Me junket.Another failed relationship. More heartbreak. More Häagen-Dazs. I feel for you Jennifer, I really do, but you know what has to happen. It's the elephant in the room that no one is talking about. You have to become a militant, man-hating lesbian. First, you'll need bumper stickers. Lots of them. I recommend starting with the classics: "Vaginatarian," "Pride Bride," and anything having to do with Xena: Warrior Princess. Also, you'll need a pair of Doc Martens. I hear Sears is having a sale. What are you waiting for? GO! NOW!
"He broke up with her when she got back from her European tour," the source said. (Source)
"Jen has serious reservations about diving into marriage with John. She is very insecure, and at the top of her list of worries is that John is using her to boost his fame and fortune. So she's insisting that John sign a prenup. His pride is wounded, and the drama over all this is threatening to blow up their wedding plans, and even their relationship.Jen's "on top of the world professionally"? Last time I checked, her most recent films haven't exactly lit up the box office. And in the only one that did rake in a decent profit, she wasn't even the main attraction. That distinction went to a star that not only licks his own anus, but occasionally finds his fecal matter to be a delicious morning treat. So yeah, if you consider THAT to be on top of your game, then sure, Jen's doing great. Also "on top of the world professionally" by that standard: Betamax distributors.
"Jen had to rebuild her life after her marriage to Brad Pitt collapsed in late 2004. She's on top of the world now professionally, and a prenup is a smart business move to protect her [$150 million] fortune. Even though she loves him, Jen is still unsure of John's trustworthiness because of his reputation for having loved and left half the actresses and models in Hollywood. After her split with Brad, Jen has had serious trust issues - and for good reason." (Print Edition - 2/2)
"Although Jen recently denied having marriage plans in an interview, those closest to her know she will be getting married next year and is trying to keep her wedding a secret. Since this is her second time down the aisle, Jen wants a less formal, more intimate ceremony with no more than 100 guests. It's going to be at her Beverly Hills home, which she recently moved into. John is writing a love song for Jen as a wedding present, which he'll play during the ceremony."Jen's "trying to keep her wedding a secret"? This is Jennifer Aniston we're talking about, right? The same woman that pleads for privacy and then prattles on to interviewers about every detail of her personal life? With a mouth as big as her's, I'm surprised the exact locations of her wedding and honeymoon haven't been accidentally leaked yet. *Re-reads above article* Oh, wait . . . nevermind.
After the reception, they hope to jet off to Punta Mita, Mexico, for
a honeymoon, the source added. (Print Edition - 12/29)
Jennifer Aniston is still talking about the private life that she doesn't want you to talk about again
Remember how Jennifer Aniston told USA Today that she was sick of people talking about the private aspects of her life, such as her relationship with John Mayer ("it's none of your fucking business")? I bet you'll never guess what she talked to the Daily Mail about on Tuesday, not in a million years:
"[John's] a rare one. He is extraordinary and it is wonderful to watch him... the way his brain works and the way he thinks thoughts... it's beautiful. It's an amazing thing to watch a musician think. I don't know many musicians but when his guitar is on him it's just like a channel. It's something I've never ever seen before." (Source)
Why do chicks get so dopey around guys that know how to play the guitar? I mean, most of them are unemployed anyways. "Wow, you know how to play guitar. I'd love to learn but I'm too busy having a job and paying bills on time."
[Flynet]
Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer leaving Gold Bar in New York (11/14)
What a coincidence that after John Mayer broke up with Jennifer Aniston back in August, I couldn't find as many pics of him to download on all the paparazzi sites. Weird. I'm sure he didn't notice. From Star magazine:
John Mayer is his own biggest fan! A source claims that ever since he got back with Jennifer Aniston last month, he's been Googling himself! "He's even gone so far as to set up a Google alert, so when his name appears in a new article on the search engine, he gets notified on his Blackberry," says the source. Jen worries that John, who denied in May that he does that, is "too obsessed with fame, but she's so in love that she's willing to excuse anything." (Print Edition - 11/24)
Sounds like John's working the system. I guess banging Jen for publicity is a lot easier than making decent music. If John really wants to get noticed by the paparazzi, he just needs to do what the rest of Hollywood seems to be doing these days to get attention: hire a publicist go to rehab date someone of the same sex. Of course some might say he's already doing that.
"Why won't you just impregnate me?"
Jennifer Aniston is desperate to have twins with John Mayer, so claims Star magazine. From undergoing fertility treatment to increasing her intake of milk and beef, Jen is doing anything and everything to ensure she has twins. Seriously John . . . if you're with Jen right now, find the nearest door and run like you've never run before. I'm talking Forrest Gump style. A source told Star:
"[Jennifer] knows her baby-making years are limited. It's hard for her to think of anything else — she has babies on the brain! [John] ordered a bunch of books on Amazon about pregnancy and parenting. He's just as eager as Jen is. They've discussed how they plan to raise their kids, and they agree on mostly everything. They can't wait to be parents together. She'll try anything to help her chances. Jen has also changed her diet. She's taking a lot of folic acid and has upped her intake of milk and beef — all of which are supposed to increase your chances of having twins." (Source)
Attention single women . . . The best way to stay single? Let the guy you're dating know you're desperate to have kids. You'd have an easier chance keeping a guy telling him the CDC had just quarantined your vag.* Besides, if Jen really wants to be just like Angelina, she doesn't need to get pregnant and have twins. She just needs to start dating guys that are already married.
*See: Madden, Benji
John and Jen's hotel hookup
Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer were seen together Tuesday night at the Sunset Tower Hotel in Hollywood. Early reports indicate the couple had hot and sweaty makeup sex in the shower. But I must stress, in the rush to report news, early reports are often inaccurate. There's a very real possibility John bent Jen over the dresser.
