Nicole Richie made one of her first public appearances yesterday since confirming her pregnancy to ABC's Diane Sawyer. The starlet was seen at Mastro's Steakhouse in Beverly Hills with boyfriend Joel Madden. You know this pregnancy must be absolutely killing her. You can't just puke out a baby and coathangers were only cool in the 60s. I can't wait until her third trimester when she has to shop with all the fatties in the size two department. Only then will you know my pain Nicole.
Nicole Richie ended months of speculation by confirming to Diane Sawyer yesterday that she's pregnant. During an interview set to air on Good Morning America on Thursday and Friday and 20/20 on Friday night, Richie revealed:
"I have a responsibility and it's something that I did wrong, and if I could personally apologize to every single person that has lost a loved one from drunk driving I would. And unfortunately, I can't, but this is my way of paying my dues and taking responsibility and being an adult." (Source)
Nicole on why she had the prescription drug Vicodin in her system when she was arrested (She was also high):
“I have really bad menstrual cramps.”
Her favorite food?
“Sushi. I’m not sure how great that is for me. I also love pizza; I’m a junk-food eater by nature.” (Source)
Later in the interview, Richie told Sawyer she likes the toilets at the Hyatt best because the smooth sides are "really good for gripping."
NOTE: Check out how massive Joel Madden looks in the above pic. He's straight out of a fairy tail minus the magic beans.
The National Enquirer is reporting this week that Joel Madden may not be the father of Nicole Richie's unborn child. The mag says there were four men "in Richie's life" when she found out she was pregnant, which sounds way better than "she was getting plugged by a different guy Monday-Thursday." Entertainmentwise.com says:
[The National Enquirer's] report says that Nicole will not know for sure who fathered her child until the potential baby-daddies undergo paternity tests. A source tells the Enquirer: "Nicole recently underwent a series of tests, including blood and urine screenings, which confirmed she is pregnant." (Source)
ichael K over at Dlisted.com is reporting the four lucky guys are current boyfriend Joel Madden, ex-boyfriends DJ AM and Brody Jenner, and--get ready for this--Jeff Goldblum. Richie briefly dated the 54-year-old actor last year after she broke up with DJ AM. By the way, Jeff's 6'5" and Richie is 5'1". One can only hope they made a sex tape. I imagine it would look a lot like a basketball player trying to smother a fifth grader.
"Through several sources" TMZ is reporting today that Nicole Richie is ~three months pregnant with Good Charlotte rocker Joel Madden's baby. For the past month rumors have been circulating that Richie had a baby on board. And now it's kinda sorta confirmed. Which is great news because it gives me six months to start thinking of ways to make something as serious as infant malnutrition seem funny.
Joel Madden (ex-boyfriend of Hilary Duff; current boyfriend of Nicole Richie) told the recent issue of Blender magazine that if it wasn't for cigarettes "I would be doing heroin, probably on a daily basis.” Just to clarify, Joel Madden is dating Nicole Richie and not under the influence of mind-altering drugs. Wow. Isn't there a law against that? Like shouldn't he lose the rights to his penis for six months? "I'm horny Joel, let's go back to your place." "Nah I can't, my penis was suspended last month by that judge in Texas."
Joel Madden and Nicole Richie--dating for all of a month--were seen checking out engagement rings at L.A. jeweler XIV Karats last week. Though the couple didn't buy a ring, Richie took advantage of a half-price sale, picking up a $3,000+ ruby necklace. A store employee told Life & Style Magazine:
"Of course he would never get her a half-price ring," said the employee. And, in fact, they didn't buy, but adds the staffer: "You can tell they're crazy about each other. His arm was around her the entire time." (Source)
Wait, he actually likes this chick? I thought he was joking. Well ya' learn something new everyday. On Monday I learned about fractions. Did you know 1/4 is the same as .25? Crazy shit!
The guy in the black getting his ass kicked is Joel Madden, ex-boyfriend of Hilary Duff and current boyfriend of Nicole Richie. The guy doing the ass-kicking is Shifty Shellshock, best known as the guy that once kicked the ass of Joel Madden. I’m sure how old this video is (anybody?) but I just found it this morning on Us Magazine’s site. Check out how they describe the video:
”Joel Madden Beats Up Less Famous, Less Tattooed Rocker”
With that description, obviously one of the editors at Us Magazine is a fan of Joel Madden's. If this brawl had occurred in Afghanistan I’m pretty sure Shifty could have legally made Joel his concubine.
Us Weeklyis reporting that Hilary Duff called Nicole Richie a "skank" after Richie hooked up with her ex Joel Madden just days after their 2-year relationship ended in late November. Despite Madden getting a piece of ass as fine as Nicole Richie, he keeps calling Duff, though she's not returning his calls:
"[Duff] can't believe he's dating Nicole and thinks she's a skank," a source told Us, adding that when Duff heard about Richie's arrest, "she asked if Nicole had been coming from Joel's. ... She kept saying she never knew Joel at all."
What is it about Nicole that makes newly single men go after her? Earlier this year it was Brody Jenner after he broke up with Kristin Cavallari and now it's Joel Madden. Surely it can't be her sexy body since the bitch barely has breasts. And it definitely can't be her vagina since that thing clamped shut once she dipped below 500 calories/day. The only guys going after her should be card-carrying members of NAMBLA and those dudes that are always getting cock-blocked by Dateline on Friday nights.
So it looks like Joel Madden is a bigger pansy than we all thought. The New York Post is claiming that the reason he broke up with girlfriend of two years Hilary Duff is because she wouldn't put out. Wow. I mean, two years?!? He went out with Hilary Duff for two freaking years and didn't get laid. That's two straight years of hearing the "I'll give you oral but I'm saving myself for marriage" excuse. Oh really? You'll let me put my cock in your mouth but anything besides that is strictly off limits? Do you virgins realize how dumb that sounds? Your retard-logic disgusts me.
Fresh off his split from Hilary Duff, Good Charlotte frontman Joel Madden was seen getting awfully close to Nicole Richie last weekend--the two were spotted together at club Teddy's at the Roosevelt Hotel. According to Us Weekly:
Richie, 25, and Madden, 27, were spotted holding hands and dancing, with one clubgoer adding, "Nicole couldn't stop smiling. I've never seen her happier." The following night, the new couple hit the town again, joining Madden's twin brother Benji and his Australian girlfriend Sophie Monk for an intimate dinner at the Polo Lounge in Beverly Hills.
Why do guys keep hooking up with Nicole Richie? Spending a night with her would be like sexing up little Timmy down the street after his little league game--only you couldn't buy Nicole's silence with a few idle threats and a new PS3. If Joel has a fetish for small boys, he could save himself a lot of trouble and embarrassment by just booking himself one of those "Sex Tours of Thailand."
*You can send all your hatemail to nick@celebslam.com
