Joe Simpson

Joe Simpson and model Jonathan Keith leaving Barney's New York in Beverly Hills (8/8)

Here's Joe Simpson and his best guy friend Jonathan Keith doing what best guy friends do: shop at Barneys! Flynet says Joe was wearing a "printed t-shirt, black harem pants, and fancy sneakers." I didn't even know harem pants were a thing until today. Thanks, Jessica Simpson's dad!

ALTERNATE HEADLINE: What's Joe Simpson's favorite 13-vowel word?  FAAAAAAAAAABULOUS!

*25 Joe Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

  • Joe Simpson Faaaabulous 1
  • Joe Simpson Faaaabulous 2
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Joe Simpson leaving Barneys New York in Beverly Hills (10/15)

Here's heterosexual Joe Simpson leaving Barneys New York in Beverly Hills yesterday, no doubt disappointed that this season's mesh collection didn't live up to his standards. Flynet says he arrived with his really good friend, heterosexual model Jonathan Keith, but the two left separately when they were spotted by the paparazzi. Probably because Jonathan had to go out to the parking lot to clear away all the groupies just hoping to get a piece of Joe. C'mon, ladies! Let the man live his life!

*25 Joe Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

  • Joe Simpson Mesh Style 1
  • Joe Simpson Mesh Style 2
  • Joe Simpson Mesh Style 3
  • Joe Simpson Mesh Style 4
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Joe Simpson at the BOY London fashion show in L.A. (3/21)

Flynet says that's Joe Simpson "displaying some very odd behavior" at the BOY London fashion show in L.A. on Saturday night. Why, because his tongue is out in every single picture? Odd to me would be Joe not having his tongue out while at a fashion show with the word "BOY" in its title.

*25 Joe Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

  • Joe Simpson Weirdo 1
  • Joe Simpson Weirdo 2
  • Joe Simpson Weirdo 3
  • Joe Simpson Weirdo 4
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Joe Simpson leaving Warwick nightclub's one year anniversary party in West Hollywood (10/8)

Here's man of men Joe Simpson leaving Warwick nightclub in Hollywood earlier this week, unbelievably, without four young college coeds on his arm. Weird. If there's one thing I know about chicks, it's that they love flamboyant trench coats made out of futuristic materials. He's probably just saving up his stamina for some sorority party crashing at UCLA this weekend. You sly dog!

*10 Joe Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

  • Joe Simpson Clubbing 1
  • Joe Simpson Clubbing 2
  • Joe Simpson Clubbing 3
  • Joe Simpson Clubbing 4
  • Joe Simpson Clubbing 5
  • Joe Simpson Clubbing 6
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Joe Simpson leaving Warwick nightclub in L.A. (8/21)

I still don't know why tabloids keep publishing these rumors that Jessica Simpson's dad Joe is gay. I mean, just look at the guy. I'm honestly shocked he's not having sex with a woman in this picture. He's that much of a poon hound. Him, John Mayer, and Derek Jeter have a standing weekly lunch date to compare notes. I mean, probably.

*5 Joe Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

  • Joe Simpson Manly Outfit 1
  • Joe Simpson Manly Outfit 2
  • Joe Simpson Manly Outfit 3
  • Joe Simpson Manly Outfit 4
  • Joe Simpson Manly Outfit 5

Joe Simpson outside Jimmy Kimmel Live! studios in Hollywood (3/6)

According to Flynet, Jessica Simpson's dad Joe was "accompanied by a younger male friend" yesterday to watch her taping of Jimmy Kimmel Live! in Hollywood. Wait a minute, I see what they're doing here. They're implying that those pesky gay rumors about Joe are true because he has a new "young male friend." Look, I know lots of straight white men -- a bunch of Navy SEALs, lumberjacks, construction workers, etc. -- that wear blue suede shoes that match the exact color of their hip vest jacket . . . no, but seriously, Joe could be wearing a dick in his ass and it wouldn't look any gayer than he does in these pics.

*10 Joe Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

  • Joe Simpson Gay Shoes 1
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Eric Johnson and Joe Simpson out for a bike ride in Oahu (1/5)

+ Lindsay Lohan's mom says she was raped [The Superficial]

+ Way too much time on his hands [Guyism]
+ Snooki's classy new tattoo [Celebuzz]
+ Rosario Dawson's topless sunbathing (NSFW) [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Melanie Truxton's is the next great ring girl [Busted Coverage]

+ What a sexy bitch [Dlisted]
+ Sexy nerdy girls [Linkiest]
+ Selena Gomez just farted [Evil Beet]
+ Chicks with sexy eyes. Nice. [Caveman Circus]

BIKINI PICS OF THE DAY: Kim Kardashian's pregnant bikini photoshoot

*25 Joe Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

  • Joe Simpson Gay Bike Ride 1
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Joe Simpson says he's not gay

Joe Simpson is finally denying the rumor that popped up about him last week that he prefers the company of men, if you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what you want to do with a good gay rumor. Let it simmer for a week before you finally address it. Nothing suspicious there. From TMZ:
Rumors be damned ... a frustrated Joe Simpson is telling friends and colleagues the stories that he's switched teams are absurd. There have been several reports out recently that Joe has told his family he's gay and that's why his marriage fell apart. There are also reports about several guys he's rumored to be dating/hooking up with. Sources who speak with Joe tell TMZ ... Jessica Simpson's daddy says it ain't so ... that the stories are "ridiculous." The people we spoke with are split -- some believe him, and some think he's just not ready to come out publicly.
Hey, this is the era we live in, folks. Basically, no matter who you are or what your situation is, spin spin spin. For example: Paris Hilton is still current news, just like Britney Spears isn't on saltwater crocodile tranquilizers, and Team KKKardashian aren't reprehensible attention whores. It's a publicist's world. Papa Joe Simpson isn't gay since most straight men get caught balls deep in young male models. I mean, what middle-aged-man's man hasn't taken a sip out of a trouser snake at some point in his life? It's the 50-something-year-olds without bleached blonde hair and fabulous outfits who are the real queers. Now if you don't mind, I have some names I need to sew into a giant quilt.

*5 Joe Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

  • Joe Simpson Denial 1
  • Joe Simpson Denial 2
  • Joe Simpson Denial 3
  • Joe Simpson Denial 4
  • Joe Simpson Denial 5


According to Radar, Joe Simpson not only has a 21-year-old boyfriend (Bryce Chandler Hill), but that 21-year-old boyfriend is using him just to get famous. I swear, you can't have a secret gay affair anymore without someone trying to take advantage of you. A source told the site:
"Joe Simpson being outed by the National Enquirer was no surprise to the gay community in Hollywood, Bryce has been bragging about hooking up with Joe for a while now," a source close to Hill revealed. "Bryce is close to TJ Espinoza, who in turn is good friends with both Jessica and Ashlee and worked for Britney Spears as a back-up dancer. TJ introduced Bryce to the Simpsons - and that's how he met Joe. Bryce claims he's been dating Joe for roughly a year and absolutely loves to boast about it because he loves being the center of attention. He's also been quick to tell anyone that will listen that he's using Joe to climb the showbiz ladder.

"Bryce is desperate to become famous, he's done lots of modeling shoots and wants to become an actor. When he met Joe, he knew what a good job he had done in managing Jessica and Ashlee's careers and wanted a piece of the pie himself. But the sad thing is, he mocks and laughs at Joe behind his back. He doesn't care for him in the same way Joe does about him. Bryce has been boasting about this for months, but no one believed him at first," the source divulged.
Hey gays, see why us straights can't trust you? Most of us don't have a problem with you fellas using your assholes as catcher's mitts, but we do have a problem with your inability to keep your fucking mouths shut. The man code counts for you, too. Can't a man lovingly look into another man's eyes while unloading his seed deep into his butthole without it becoming media fodder? Hey wait, I guess he can't. Sorry Joe, but I have a car payment to make.

*5 Joe Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

  • Joe Simpson Boyfriend 1
  • Joe Simpson Boyfriend 2
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  • Joe Simpson Boyfriend 5

Joe Simpson out and about in L.A. (10/26)

Joe Simpson was spotted in L.A. last Friday, and I'm just not seeing how these gay rumors could possibly be true. The finely manicured, bleached blonde hair . . . the slender frame . . . the head to toe matching outfit . . . the fabulous designer sunglasses -- he looks as straight as an arrow. He might as well be beating the shit out of some trucker or banging a supermodel like Tyson Beckford right there on the sidewalk.

*10 Joe Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

  • Joe Simpson Gay Outfit 1
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