Brody Jenner arriving to Voyeur nightclub in West Hollywood (10/15)
Not literally of course (Paris and Lindsay are out of town). I mean he's not being charged with
beating up Brody Jenner's girlfriend Jayde Nicole. From
TMZ:
According to the report, the D.A. supports Joe's claims that the surveillance video shows that Jayde "appears to have acted without immediate provocation." In conclusion, the D.A. thought "the interests of justice do not support the filing of criminal charges against any of the three suspects [Joe, Jayde, and Brody Jenner]."
Remember kids, there's a lesson to be learned here. And that lesson is that it's OK to grab girls by the hair and violently yank them to the ground. Screw Madison for making fun of you during recess yesterday. Joe Francis, the L.A. County District Attorney's Office, and I agree that you need to show that bitch who's boss.
Joe Francis at Star magazine's 5th Year Anniversary Celebration at Bardot nightclub in West Hollywood (10/13)
Joe Francis is a really tough guy . . . except when he accidentally runs into the dude he was just talking shit about. Oops! From the
New York Post:
"Girls Gone Wild" producer Joe Francis was talking tough about his nemesis, Brody Jenner, on the red carpet at Bardot in Hollywood the other night. "If I see Brody Jenner, he is dead," Francis said, and charmingly added that Jenner has the "smallest penis I have ever seen." But Francis -- who brawled with the star of "The Hills" at an LA bar recently -- didn't expect to come face to face with Jenner and four strapping friends moments later inside the Star magazine party. A spy reports, "Brody's boys stood up as soon as they saw Joe. Lo Bosworth told them all to calm down and not do anything crazy. Brody and his pals walked out giving Francis dirty looks. Francis stood there with his tail between his legs. He looked scared shitless."
How many guy's packages has Joe Francis seen that he can declare Brody "the smallest penis" he's ever seen? It sounds like either Joe's been churning out the
Girls Gone Wild videos to mask his own homosexual tendencies, or he got quite an eye (and mouth) full
during his time in jail. Either way, every guy should keep one thing in mind the next time they see Joe Francis standing next to them at the urinal: he's probably checking out your junk.
Joe Francis is a bully The security camera footage from the "altercation" between Joe Francis and Jayde Nicole
back in August has finally been released. And it confirms what everyone already pretty much knew about Joe: he's an asshole. In the video (
on PAGE 2) Joe is seen grabbing Jayde by the hair and pulling her down to the ground before he's jumped by a bunch of other dudes (According to Jayde, it's the first time she's had her hair pulled
with her clothes on). Jayde told
Radar:
"He can't lie anymore! It makes me absolutely cringe," Jayde says of watching the founder of the Girls Gone Wild videos viciously attack her.
Jayde's lawyer, Ronald Richards, defended his client and slammed Francis' violent reaction and the defense he's been using - "This was not any self defense by Mr. Francis."
The funny thing is that this whole fight would have never happened if Joe simply had a dry t-shirt --
a free dry t-shirt perhaps -- to change into after Jayde threw her drink on him. Anyone else see the irony in that?
TWO PICTURES TO MAKE YOU HATE YOURSELF: Joe in his Ferrari (
here), and filling up his Bentley (
here)
Jayde Nicole and Brody Jenner shopping in Hollywood (8/24)
In the red corner, coming in at 6'1", 200 pounds, JOE FRANCIS! And in the blue corner, coming in at 5'9", 110 pounds, JAYDE NICOLE! The two went at it last night at Guys & Dolls nightclub in West Hollywood . . . and by "went at it" I mean Joe -- the founder of the
Girls Gone Wild franchise -- beat the shit out of Jayde -- Brody Jenner's girlfriend and 2008 Playmate of the Year -- Chris Brown style. From
TMZ:
Jenner just spoke with us by phone. According to Jenner, he and his girlfriend, Jayde Nicole, were at the club celebrating his birthday, when Jayde saw Francis hitting on an ex-girlfriend of his (Francis'), Jenner says "unrelentingly." Jayde felt he was harassing the woman -- whom Jayde and Brody know -- and she threw a drink on Francis.
Jenner says Francis then pulled Jayde's hair, punched her in the face and threw her to the ground and began kicking her. Security broke it up and Francis got dragged away -- Brody followed. Jenner says he started yelling at Francis and both men were ejected from the club.
Outside the club, Jenner says he tried to get back in to see Jayde but security wouldn't let him. Jenner then saw Joe, punched him in the face, and then someone tased him and he fell to the ground. Francis left the scene. The cops -- who say a call came in at 2:46 AM for battery -- came but no one was arrested.
Jayde tells TMZ she will press charges against Francis. Jayde has a black and blue cheek, her face is swollen, she has a bruised left rib and her lower abdomen is sore. Some of her hair also got pulled out.
Joe better not beat up any more Playmates for the rest of the year -- or at least keep it to a minimum. I'd hate for people to start thinking of him as some kind of guy who doesn't respect women . . .
Joe Francis outside Foxtail nightclub in West Hollywood (12/23)
Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis was arrested yesterday after failing to appear for a hearing in his federal tax-evasion case. Francis claimed he didn't show up for the hearing because he had the flu. *makes wanking motion with right hand* - From
MSNBC:
Francis was originally expected in court at 8:30 a.m. for a hearing on his attorneys' request to withdraw as his counsel. U.S. District Judge S. James Otero waited 30 minutes for the adult-video entrepreneur to arrive and had his clerk attempt to contact Francis by telephone, with no success. At that point, Otero issued a warrant for Francis' arrest.
When Francis showed up in Otero's courtroom after 1:30 p.m., indicating he had been suffering from the flu, U.S. marshals cuffed him and took him into custody, said defense attorney Melissa A. Weinberger, whose firm is representing Francis in proceedings stemming from Monday's bench warrant. (Source)
Don't feel too bad for Joe. He's a wheeling and dealing businessman -- he'll do just fine in prison. "Attention everybody. Anyone who doesn't rape me gets a free
Girls Gone Wild t-shirt."
Joe Francis leaving Coco De Ville nightclub in West Hollywood (12/2)
+ Lily Allen doing some pumping [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Adriana Lima Has Been Enhanced [Egotastic!]
+ California's Prop 8 inspired a musical [Just Jared]
+ Model Raica Oliveira is see through (NSFW) [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Miranda Kerr looks like she'd be great in the sack [Bastardly]
+ Overpriced [Lossip]
+ K-Fed says it was love at first $ight with Britney [Webster's Is My Bitch]
+ Heidi Montag's mom gives her marriage six months tops [Cele|bitchy]
+ Olivia Munn raw dogs a hot dog [UBERGUY]
Joe Francis slams Samantha Ronson on the Tyra Banks Show
Is there anyone in Hollywood -- without the last name Ronson -- that actually likes Samantha Ronson? Certainly not Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis. He blasted Ronson on the Tyra Banks Show earlier this week, calling her a "wretched woman." Recap via PopEater:
During the episode, Francis calls Ronson "very jealous. Samantha tried to start a fight with me. I care about Lindsay - she's not gay. She's being controlled by this . . . wretched woman, this Samantha."The feud began during the VMA party on Sept. 7 when Francis approached Lohan and Ronson's table. Ronson recalls the evening, "He said hello to Lindsay and looked over at me as if I wasn't a human being. He's got no manners." Lohan blogged on her MySpace a few weeks ago about the on-going feud. "Joe Francis has no place in saying anything about Samantha . . . especially after all the shit he has done." (Source)
Ah, true love. There's nothing like a Shakespearean tragedy ghostwritten by Jerry Springer to make me feel alive. In one corner you have the most famous pervert in the world, the man most responsible for squashing the Playboy empire and, unbelievably, lower the bar of human behavior at spring break with the power of his mighty video cam and free t-shirt. In the other corner, you have a woman who looks like Gollum with a more powerful tongue and thicker fingers. Let us not forget the object of their "affection" is a confused attention whore stuck in the middle of this shit sandwich. A reprehensible waste of skin but undoubtedly a great lay. There's gonna be an epic battle for the domination of that firecrotch, and decisions will need to be made. Who will it be? The bull dyke who spins records and can suck start a wave-maker? Or will it be the guy who's only accomplishment is getting paid for saying "take your top off" on camera to 14-year-olds. True love.
Kendra Wilkinson and Joe Francis at Karu & Y nightclub in Miami (9/26)
From Hugh Hefner to Joe Francis. I guess Kendra Wilkinson really has a thing for guys who convince young girls to flash their tits for money and fame . . . and by "fame" I mean "t-shirts." From the New York Post:
Is Kendra Wilkinson trading up? One of Hugh Hefner's "Girls Next Door" took a break from the Playboy Mansion to hang with "Girls Gone Wild" chief Joe Francis in Miami. They were making out at Karu & Y on Friday before Francis went to club Heathrow. There, an onlooker said, "He was texting Kendra on his BlackBerry all night until she finally showed up at 2 a.m. . . . they stayed out until 5." Francis told us, "If you were Kendra and you looked at the Playboy stock price lately [which closed at $3.94 yesterday, down from $12 a year ago], wouldn't you think about upgrading, too?" (Source)
Is going from Hugh Hefner to Joe Francis really "trading up"? That's like choosing lead over coal. Sure one might be harder than the other, but in the end they're both worthless old fossils that can be dangerous if ingested orally.
Joe Francis leaving a press conference in Panama City, Florida today
This dude hasn't been out of jail 12 hours and look at the piece of ass he already scored. I think I'm in the majority here in saying I'd like to choke this man to death with one of his free t-shirts.
Joe Francis is free
Joe Francis is officially a free man. The Girls Gone Wild founder plead no contest to child abuse and prostitution charges for videotaping underage girls in the spring break mecca of Panama City in 2003. Francis claims the girls lied about their age and none of the footage was ever used. Judge Deede Costello sentenced Francis to 339 days in jail but gave him credit for time served. Francis' legal troubles aren't over yet -- his Federal tax evasion trial begins in April. Regarding his Florida plea, TMZ writes:
[Francis] will be on six months' "non-reporting" probation, and "Girls Gone Wild" can't film in the area for three years. Bay County, we're told, will return Joe's brand new Ferrari, and $60,000 that they confiscated from him last year. (Source)
So he plead guilty to both child abuse and prostitution charges and was sentenced to less than year? God dammit Florida, just when I think you're finally getting your shit together, you have to go and fuck things up again. I hope to hell R. Kelly doesn't seek a change of venue. "Florida prosecutors announced today that in return for R. Kelly's plea of 'no contest' to child pornography charges, a statue of the singer will be built in the rotunda of the state capital building. The state bird will also be changed from the 'Mockingbird' to 'R. Kelly'."
