Joe Francis

Joe Francis at the OK! magazine Pre-Oscar Cocktail Party at Beso nightclub in West Hollywood (3/5)

See how happy Joe Francis is above? It's because the IRS had just dropped the $34 million tax lien they filed against him last November. Um, oopsy. From Contact Music:

Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis is still not free of his financial woes - tax officials are demanding part payment of a $34 million bill, just weeks after dropping the case, according to a U.S. report.

Bosses at the IRS filed a lien against Francis for the cash in November, after he allegedly fell behind with payments in 2001, 2002 and 2003. Francis insisted he was baffled by the IRS claim and was relieved when chiefs dropped the massive demand last month (February). But IRS bosses admit they made a mistake dropping the case - and are now demanding a part payment of $29.4 million from Francis.

Joe should know that the IRS doesn't mess around.-- if he doesn't start making payments soon, he's going back to prison. Let's just hope that he hasn't forgotten some of the valuable lessons he learned from his last time there -- like not sleeping on your stomach, cigarettes are worth their weight in gold, and that when using your rectum like a piggy bank, the maximum that it can typically hold is between $400-$500 per deposit.

Tila Tequila leaving Cedars Sinai hospital in West Hollywood (1/8)

Not-so-shocking news about Tila Tequila -- her engagement to now-deceased heiress Casey Johnson was just a sham to drump up publicity for her new website. Awww, how heartwarming. From the New York Daily News:

Publicity-addicted sex panther Tila Tequila is said to have had some help in luring the now-departed Casey Johnson into that video where Tequila announced they were "engaged." Some insiders believe "Girls Gone Wild" pornmeister Joe Francis was the secret architect of the sad spectacle, which they say was designed to hype Tequila's Francis-financed Web site. Tila's assistant, Jessica Cohen, insists the video "had nothing to do with 'Girls Gone Wild.'" Francis' rep didn't return calls.

Lies! All lies! Tila and Casey's romance was straight out of a fairy tale: Alien-looking girl meets girl. Girls fall in love and get engaged. Alien-looking girl hatches plan to use other girl to promote website. Other girl inserts football into alien-looking girl's vagina to consummate relationship. Girl dies. Alien-looking girl is fake sad. It's a classic love story. I wouldn't be surprised if Universal bought the movie rights to it. ". . . starring Sandra Bullock as Tila Tequila and Julia Roberts as Casey Johnson."

Brody Jenner arriving to Voyeur nightclub in West Hollywood (10/15)

Not literally of course (Paris and Lindsay are out of town). I mean he's not being charged with beating up Brody Jenner's girlfriend Jayde Nicole. From TMZ:

According to the report, the D.A. supports Joe's claims that the surveillance video shows that Jayde "appears to have acted without immediate provocation." In conclusion, the D.A. thought "the interests of justice do not support the filing of criminal charges against any of the three suspects [Joe, Jayde, and Brody Jenner]."

Remember kids, there's a lesson to be learned here. And that lesson is that it's OK to grab girls by the hair and violently yank them to the ground. Screw Madison for making fun of you during recess yesterday. Joe Francis, the L.A. County District Attorney's Office, and I agree that you need to show that bitch who's boss.

Joe Francis at Star magazine's 5th Year Anniversary Celebration at Bardot nightclub in West Hollywood (10/13)

Joe Francis is a really tough guy . . . except when he accidentally runs into the dude he was just talking shit about. Oops! From the New York Post:

"Girls Gone Wild" producer Joe Francis was talking tough about his nemesis, Brody Jenner, on the red carpet at Bardot in Hollywood the other night. "If I see Brody Jenner, he is dead," Francis said, and charmingly added that Jenner has the "smallest penis I have ever seen." But Francis -- who brawled with the star of "The Hills" at an LA bar recently -- didn't expect to come face to face with Jenner and four strapping friends moments later inside the Star magazine party. A spy reports, "Brody's boys stood up as soon as they saw Joe. Lo Bosworth told them all to calm down and not do anything crazy. Brody and his pals walked out giving Francis dirty looks. Francis stood there with his tail between his legs. He looked scared shitless."

How many guy's packages has Joe Francis seen that he can declare Brody "the smallest penis" he's ever seen? It sounds like either Joe's been churning out the Girls Gone Wild videos to mask his own homosexual tendencies, or he got quite an eye (and mouth) full during his time in jail. Either way, every guy should keep one thing in mind the next time they see Joe Francis standing next to them at the urinal: he's probably checking out your junk.

Joe Francis is a bully

The security camera footage from the "altercation" between Joe Francis and Jayde Nicole back in August has finally been released. And it confirms what everyone already pretty much knew about Joe: he's an asshole. In the video (on PAGE 2) Joe is seen grabbing Jayde by the hair and pulling her down to the ground before he's jumped by a bunch of other dudes (According to Jayde, it's the first time she's had her hair pulled with her clothes on). Jayde told Radar:

"He can't lie anymore! It makes me absolutely cringe," Jayde says of watching the founder of the Girls Gone Wild videos viciously attack her.

Jayde's lawyer, Ronald Richards, defended his client and slammed Francis' violent reaction and the defense he's been using - "This was not any self defense by Mr. Francis."

The funny thing is that this whole fight would have never happened if Joe simply had a dry t-shirt -- a free dry t-shirt perhaps -- to change into after Jayde threw her drink on him. Anyone else see the irony in that?

TWO PICTURES TO MAKE YOU HATE YOURSELF: Joe in his Ferrari (here), and filling up his Bentley (here)

Jayde Nicole and Brody Jenner shopping in Hollywood (8/24)

In the red corner, coming in at 6'1", 200 pounds, JOE FRANCIS! And in the blue corner, coming in at 5'9", 110 pounds, JAYDE NICOLE! The two went at it last night at Guys & Dolls nightclub in West Hollywood . . . and by "went at it" I mean Joe -- the founder of the Girls Gone Wild franchise -- beat the shit out of Jayde -- Brody Jenner's girlfriend and 2008 Playmate of the Year -- Chris Brown style. From TMZ:

Jenner just spoke with us by phone. According to Jenner, he and his girlfriend, Jayde Nicole, were at the club celebrating his birthday, when Jayde saw Francis hitting on an ex-girlfriend of his (Francis'), Jenner says "unrelentingly." Jayde felt he was harassing the woman -- whom Jayde and Brody know -- and she threw a drink on Francis.

Jenner says Francis then pulled Jayde's hair, punched her in the face and threw her to the ground and began kicking her. Security broke it up and Francis got dragged away -- Brody followed. Jenner says he started yelling at Francis and both men were ejected from the club.

Outside the club, Jenner says he tried to get back in to see Jayde but security wouldn't let him. Jenner then saw Joe, punched him in the face, and then someone tased him and he fell to the ground. Francis left the scene. The cops -- who say a call came in at 2:46 AM for battery -- came but no one was arrested.

Jayde tells TMZ she will press charges against Francis. Jayde has a black and blue cheek, her face is swollen, she has a bruised left rib and her lower abdomen is sore. Some of her hair also got pulled out.

Joe better not beat up any more Playmates for the rest of the year -- or at least keep it to a minimum. I'd hate for people to start thinking of him as some kind of guy who doesn't respect women . . .

Joe Francis outside Foxtail nightclub in West Hollywood (12/23)

Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis was arrested yesterday after failing to appear for a hearing in his federal tax-evasion case. Francis claimed he didn't show up for the hearing because he had the flu. *makes wanking motion with right hand* - From MSNBC:

Francis was originally expected in court at 8:30 a.m. for a hearing on his attorneys' request to withdraw as his counsel. U.S. District Judge S. James Otero waited 30 minutes for the adult-video entrepreneur to arrive and had his clerk attempt to contact Francis by telephone, with no success. At that point, Otero issued a warrant for Francis' arrest.

When Francis showed up in Otero's courtroom after 1:30 p.m., indicating he had been suffering from the flu, U.S. marshals cuffed him and took him into custody, said defense attorney Melissa A. Weinberger, whose firm is representing Francis in proceedings stemming from Monday's bench warrant. (Source)

Don't feel too bad for Joe. He's a wheeling and dealing businessman -- he'll do just fine in prison. "Attention everybody. Anyone who doesn't rape me gets a free Girls Gone Wild t-shirt."