Jessica Simpson


Jessica Simpson has ridiculous legs

PICTURED: Jessica Simpson leaving an office building in New York yesterday, on her way to pull a 747 across the tarmac at JFK. Probably didn't even break a sweat.

*20 Jessica Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jessica Simpson Leg Press Champion 1
  • Jessica Simpson Leg Press Champion 2
  • Jessica Simpson Leg Press Champion 3
  • Jessica Simpson Leg Press Champion 4
  • Jessica Simpson Leg Press Champion 5
  • Jessica Simpson Leg Press Champion 6
  • Jessica Simpson Leg Press Champion 7
  • Jessica Simpson Leg Press Champion 8
  • Jessica Simpson Leg Press Champion 9
  • Jessica Simpson Leg Press Champion 10
  • Jessica Simpson Leg Press Champion 1
  • Jessica Simpson Leg Press Champion 2
  • Jessica Simpson Leg Press Champion 3
  • Jessica Simpson Leg Press Champion 4
  • Jessica Simpson Leg Press Champion 5
  • Jessica Simpson Leg Press Champion 6
  • Jessica Simpson Leg Press Champion 7
  • Jessica Simpson Leg Press Champion 8
  • Jessica Simpson Leg Press Champion 9
  • Jessica Simpson Leg Press Champion 10

Jessica Simpson arriving for a flight at LAX airport (9/23)

I never thought I'd say this, but Jessica Simpson needs to chill out on the weight loss. She's getting too skinny. I think those might actually be Nicole Richie's pants that she's wearing. Will someone lock this bitch in a roomful of chili so we can start the fatty cycle all over again?

*30 Jessica Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 1
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 2
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 3
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 4
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 5
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 6
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 7
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 8
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 9
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 10
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 11
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 12
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 13
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 14
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 15
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 1
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 2
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 3
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 4
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 5
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 6
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 7
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 8
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 9
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 10
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 11
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 12
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 13
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 14
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 15

Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson are married

So Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson finally got married. The two tied the knot at the San Ysidro Ranch outside Santa Barbara on Saturday in front of 250 people, including Jessica Alba and Topher Grace. Damn, my fantasy has always been to drunkingly hook up with Jessica Alba at a wedding. Sucks I didn't get an invite. The couple told People:
"We are overwhelmed with complete happiness and love having made our eternal commitment. To say 'I do' in front of family, friends and, most importantly, our children has been the happiest moment of our lives."
The day before the ceremony, Jessica and Eric hosted a huge 4th of July party at the resort with dancing, karaoke, horseshoes, croquet, and hide the salami. I'll give you one guess which game Joe Simpson dominated.

E! adds:
A source said Jessica helped herself to the delicious food, saying, "I worked my ass off!" She added that she can't wait to chill a little after the big day and eat a little more than she has been.
Oh God I'm scared. This will not end well. This will not. End. Well.

sign-of-the-cross.gif

*15 Jessica Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jessica Simpson San Ysidro Ranch Wedding 1
  • Jessica Simpson San Ysidro Ranch Wedding 2
  • Jessica Simpson San Ysidro Ranch Wedding 3
  • Jessica Simpson San Ysidro Ranch Wedding 4
  • Jessica Simpson San Ysidro Ranch Wedding 5
  • Jessica Simpson San Ysidro Ranch Wedding 6
  • Jessica Simpson San Ysidro Ranch Wedding 7
  • Jessica Simpson San Ysidro Ranch Wedding 8
  • Jessica Simpson San Ysidro Ranch Wedding 9
  • Jessica Simpson San Ysidro Ranch Wedding 10
  • Jessica Simpson San Ysidro Ranch Wedding 11
  • Jessica Simpson San Ysidro Ranch Wedding 12
  • Jessica Simpson San Ysidro Ranch Wedding 13
  • Jessica Simpson San Ysidro Ranch Wedding 14
  • Jessica Simpson San Ysidro Ranch Wedding 15

Jessica Simpson arriving on a flight at JFK airport in New York (6/10)

PICTURED: Jessica Simpson at JFK Airport, shortly after pulling a 747 across the runway. I mean, right? That's why she was at the airport, right?

*15 Jessica Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jessica Simpson Rock Solid Legs 1
  • Jessica Simpson Rock Solid Legs 2
  • Jessica Simpson Rock Solid Legs 3
  • Jessica Simpson Rock Solid Legs 4
  • Jessica Simpson Rock Solid Legs 5
  • Jessica Simpson Rock Solid Legs 6
  • Jessica Simpson Rock Solid Legs 7
  • Jessica Simpson Rock Solid Legs 8
  • Jessica Simpson Rock Solid Legs 9
  • Jessica Simpson Rock Solid Legs 10
  • Jessica Simpson Rock Solid Legs 11
  • Jessica Simpson Rock Solid Legs 12
  • Jessica Simpson Rock Solid Legs 13
  • Jessica Simpson Rock Solid Legs 14
  • Jessica Simpson Rock Solid Legs 15

Jessica Simpson leaving Warwick nightclub in West Hollywood (6/8)

Jessica Simpson had to be helped out of Warwick nightclub in West Hollywood last night. But really, it's not her fault. I mean, you're totally fine after 16 shots, and then that 17th one sorta just sneaks up on you and suddenly you don't know the difference between "there," "their," and "they're." So basically, every day is a 17-shot-day for Jessica.

*30 Jessica Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 1
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 2
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 3
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 4
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 5
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 6
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 7
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 8
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 9
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 10
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 11
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 12
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 13
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 14
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 15
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 1
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 2
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 3
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 4
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 5
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 6
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 7
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 8
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 9
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 10
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 11
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 12
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 13
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 14
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 15

Jessica Simpson celebrating Memorial Day

10" platform wedges . . . lack of oxygen from sucking in stomach . . . rock hard slate patio . . . nope, don't see anything that could possibly go wrong here.

*4 Jessica Simpson swimsuit pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jessica Simpson Swimsuit Body 1
  • Jessica Simpson Swimsuit Body 2
  • Jessica Simpson Swimsuit Body 3
  • Jessica Simpson Swimsuit Body 4

Jessica Simpson catching a flight at Washington Dulles Airport (5/4)

Turns out that carrying the equivalent of a piano on your back for years does wonders for muscle tone, because Jessica Simpson's legs are absolutely ripped now. Cool. I hope Jessica Alba gains 100 pounds so her legs can be ripped in five years, too. Actually, no, no, I don't want that to happen at all.

*30 Jessica Simpson legs pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 1
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 2
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 3
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 4
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 5
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 6
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 7
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 8
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 9
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 10
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 11
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 12
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 13
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 14
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 15
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 1
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 2
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 3
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 4
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 5
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 6
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 7
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 8
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 9
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 10
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 11
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 12
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 13
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 14
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 15

Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson outside the John Varvatos store in West Hollywood (4/13)

Here's Jessica Simpson on her way to the Annual Stuart House Benefit in West Hollywood on Sunday. Sure she's probably doubling down on the Spanx, but she is definitely looking less round. It just goes to show that with a team of personal trainers and chefs, and the motivation of a seven figure deal with Weight Watchers, you can accomplish anything in life. What an inspiration. That one schoolgirl from Afghanistan has nothing on her. BRING IT!

UPDATE: Joe Simpson just flapped his wrists around and tweeted that Jessica is looking FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABULOUS!

*33 Jessica Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 1
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 2
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 3
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 4
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 5
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 6
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 7
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 8
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 9
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 10
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 11
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 12
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 13
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 14
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 15
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 1
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 2
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 3
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 4
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 5
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 6
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 7
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 8
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 9
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 10
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 11
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 12
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 13
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 14
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 15

Jessica Simpson arriving for a flight at LAX airport (1/28)

Since my sole reason for living is to document Jessica Simpson's weight fluctuations, here she is at LAX yesterday looking a bit slimmer. Looks like Weight Watchers is working . . . caveat: if she actually showed up to LAX for a flight. In the past she's been known to stop by the airport just for the "Jonah Hill Special" at Cinnabon (two large Cinnabons, a large Mochalatta Chill with extra whipped cream, and an overwhelming feeling of self-hatred). Don't do it, Jessica. Resist that crack icing.

*15 Jessica Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jessica Simpson Slim Figure 1
  • Jessica Simpson Slim Figure 2
  • Jessica Simpson Slim Figure 3
  • Jessica Simpson Slim Figure 4
  • Jessica Simpson Slim Figure 5
  • Jessica Simpson Slim Figure 6
  • Jessica Simpson Slim Figure 7
  • Jessica Simpson Slim Figure 8
  • Jessica Simpson Slim Figure 9
  • Jessica Simpson Slim Figure 10
  • Jessica Simpson Slim Figure 11
  • Jessica Simpson Slim Figure 12
  • Jessica Simpson Slim Figure 13
  • Jessica Simpson Slim Figure 14
  • Jessica Simpson Slim Figure 15

Paparazzi photos from Tuesday, January 7

Jessica Simpson arriving on a flight at JFK airport in New York (pics start here)

Actor Johnny Galecki (The Big Bang Theory) and his girlfriend, actress Kelli Garner, in Cabo San Lucas (pics start here)

Paris Hilton arriving at Craig's Restaurant in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Sean Penn driving his classic Chevy El Camino in Malibu (pics start here)

Jessica Alba at Whole Foods in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Emily Blunt leaving the Bel-Bambini baby boutique in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Eva Longoria arriving for a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)

Hilary Duff shopping in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Allison Williams out and about in New York (pics start here)

Minnie Driver on her way to a nail salon in Los Feliz (pics start here)

Olivia Wilde leaving an office building in Venice Beach (pics start here)

Kelly Brook leaving her home in London (pics start here)

*119 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 1
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 2
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 3
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 4
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 5
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 6
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 7
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 8
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 9
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 10
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 1
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 2
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 3
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 4
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 5
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 6
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 7
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 8
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 9
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 10
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 11
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 12
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 13
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 14
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 1
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 15
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 2
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 16
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 3
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 17
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 4
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 18
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 5
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 6
  • Jessica Simpson Fur Shawl 7

Would You Rather?

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