Jessica Simpson


Jessica Simpson at the L.A. premiere of The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1 at the Nokia Theatre L.A. Live (11/17)

Here's Jessica Simpson and her husband Eric Johnson at the premier of the new Hunger Games movie on Sunday. Jessica's lost so much damn weight that I can't even make a joke about her thinking Eric's face is frosting. This sucks . . . *mails Jessica Simpson a block of cheese*

*30 Jessica Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jessica Simpson Tonguing 1
  • Jessica Simpson Tonguing 2
  • Jessica Simpson Tonguing 3
  • Jessica Simpson Tonguing 4
  • Jessica Simpson Tonguing 5
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  • Jessica Simpson Tonguing 1
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  • Jessica Simpson Tonguing 15

Jessica Simpson leaving her hotel in New York (10/1)

Did Jessica Simpson switch to Scientology? Or perhaps she's now using a low calorie sweetener? Something about her is more noticeable that usual . . .

*30 Jessica Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jessica Simpson Tit Nippy 1
  • Jessica Simpson Tit Nippy 2
  • Jessica Simpson Tit Nippy 3
  • Jessica Simpson Tit Nippy 4
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  • Jessica Simpson Tit Nippy 1
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  • Jessica Simpson Tit Nippy 15

Jessica Simpson has ridiculous legs

PICTURED: Jessica Simpson leaving an office building in New York yesterday, on her way to pull a 747 across the tarmac at JFK. Probably didn't even break a sweat.

*20 Jessica Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jessica Simpson Leg Press Champion 1
  • Jessica Simpson Leg Press Champion 2
  • Jessica Simpson Leg Press Champion 3
  • Jessica Simpson Leg Press Champion 4
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  • Jessica Simpson Leg Press Champion 1
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  • Jessica Simpson Leg Press Champion 9
  • Jessica Simpson Leg Press Champion 10

Jessica Simpson arriving for a flight at LAX airport (9/23)

I never thought I'd say this, but Jessica Simpson needs to chill out on the weight loss. She's getting too skinny. I think those might actually be Nicole Richie's pants that she's wearing. Will someone lock this bitch in a roomful of chili so we can start the fatty cycle all over again?

*30 Jessica Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 1
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 2
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 3
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 4
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  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 15
  • Jessica Simpson Extreme Weight Loss 1
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Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson are married

So Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson finally got married. The two tied the knot at the San Ysidro Ranch outside Santa Barbara on Saturday in front of 250 people, including Jessica Alba and Topher Grace. Damn, my fantasy has always been to drunkingly hook up with Jessica Alba at a wedding. Sucks I didn't get an invite. The couple told People:
"We are overwhelmed with complete happiness and love having made our eternal commitment. To say 'I do' in front of family, friends and, most importantly, our children has been the happiest moment of our lives."
The day before the ceremony, Jessica and Eric hosted a huge 4th of July party at the resort with dancing, karaoke, horseshoes, croquet, and hide the salami. I'll give you one guess which game Joe Simpson dominated.

E! adds:
A source said Jessica helped herself to the delicious food, saying, "I worked my ass off!" She added that she can't wait to chill a little after the big day and eat a little more than she has been.
Oh God I'm scared. This will not end well. This will not. End. Well.

sign-of-the-cross.gif

*15 Jessica Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jessica Simpson San Ysidro Ranch Wedding 1
  • Jessica Simpson San Ysidro Ranch Wedding 2
  • Jessica Simpson San Ysidro Ranch Wedding 3
  • Jessica Simpson San Ysidro Ranch Wedding 4
  • Jessica Simpson San Ysidro Ranch Wedding 5
  • Jessica Simpson San Ysidro Ranch Wedding 6
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  • Jessica Simpson San Ysidro Ranch Wedding 14
  • Jessica Simpson San Ysidro Ranch Wedding 15

Jessica Simpson arriving on a flight at JFK airport in New York (6/10)

PICTURED: Jessica Simpson at JFK Airport, shortly after pulling a 747 across the runway. I mean, right? That's why she was at the airport, right?

*15 Jessica Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jessica Simpson Rock Solid Legs 1
  • Jessica Simpson Rock Solid Legs 2
  • Jessica Simpson Rock Solid Legs 3
  • Jessica Simpson Rock Solid Legs 4
  • Jessica Simpson Rock Solid Legs 5
  • Jessica Simpson Rock Solid Legs 6
  • Jessica Simpson Rock Solid Legs 7
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  • Jessica Simpson Rock Solid Legs 14
  • Jessica Simpson Rock Solid Legs 15

Jessica Simpson leaving Warwick nightclub in West Hollywood (6/8)

Jessica Simpson had to be helped out of Warwick nightclub in West Hollywood last night. But really, it's not her fault. I mean, you're totally fine after 16 shots, and then that 17th one sorta just sneaks up on you and suddenly you don't know the difference between "there," "their," and "they're." So basically, every day is a 17-shot-day for Jessica.

*30 Jessica Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 1
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 2
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 3
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 4
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 5
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  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 15
  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 1
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  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 13
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  • Jessica Simpson Drunk Cleavage 15

Jessica Simpson celebrating Memorial Day

10" platform wedges . . . lack of oxygen from sucking in stomach . . . rock hard slate patio . . . nope, don't see anything that could possibly go wrong here.

*4 Jessica Simpson swimsuit pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jessica Simpson Swimsuit Body 1
  • Jessica Simpson Swimsuit Body 2
  • Jessica Simpson Swimsuit Body 3
  • Jessica Simpson Swimsuit Body 4

Jessica Simpson catching a flight at Washington Dulles Airport (5/4)

Turns out that carrying the equivalent of a piano on your back for years does wonders for muscle tone, because Jessica Simpson's legs are absolutely ripped now. Cool. I hope Jessica Alba gains 100 pounds so her legs can be ripped in five years, too. Actually, no, no, I don't want that to happen at all.

*30 Jessica Simpson legs pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 1
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 2
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 3
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 4
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 5
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 6
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 7
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 8
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 9
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  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 11
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 12
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 13
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 14
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 15
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 1
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 2
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  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 13
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 14
  • Jessica Simpson Yoked Legs 15

Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson outside the John Varvatos store in West Hollywood (4/13)

Here's Jessica Simpson on her way to the Annual Stuart House Benefit in West Hollywood on Sunday. Sure she's probably doubling down on the Spanx, but she is definitely looking less round. It just goes to show that with a team of personal trainers and chefs, and the motivation of a seven figure deal with Weight Watchers, you can accomplish anything in life. What an inspiration. That one schoolgirl from Afghanistan has nothing on her. BRING IT!

UPDATE: Joe Simpson just flapped his wrists around and tweeted that Jessica is looking FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABULOUS!

*33 Jessica Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 1
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 2
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 3
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 4
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  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 15
  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 1
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  • Jessica Simpson Skinny Yellow Dress 15

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