Jessica Simpson

Paparazzi photos from Monday, April 8

Jessica Simpson leaving a restaurant in Calabasas (pics start here)

Ali Larter leaving a nail salon in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Lisa Kudrow out and about in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Gwyneth Paltrow on her way to a meeting in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Paris Hilton and her boyfriend River Viiperi shopping in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Cameron Diaz shopping in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Brooklyn Decker and Andy Roddick leaving Pink Taco in Hollywood (pics start here)

Denise Richards on the set of the TV pilot Twisted in L.A. (pics start here)

Sophia Bush running errands in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Ashley Greene and her boyfriend Josh Henderson out and about in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Ashley Benson and a friend shopping in Studio City (pics start here)

Alyssa Milano leaving the Kings game at the Staples Center in L.A. (pics start here)

*109 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

Jessica Simpson leaving The Ivy in Santa Monica (2/14)

Something tells me that Jessica Simpson didn't do too well in health class when she was younger. Actually, that's not fair -- Jessica Simpson didn't do too well in any class when she was younger . . . except for gym, and that's only because the teacher liked to watch her run. From E!:

Jessica Simpson has said before that she and fiance Eric Johnson weren't exactly planning for the second child that's now so visibly on the way. But leave it to Ellen DeGeneres to get the details.

"I don't know, apparently protection was just thrown out the window!" Simpson said in an interview [that aired earlier this week] on Ellen, when asked just how her surprise pregnancy came about. "We were definitely extremely shocked."

Yeah, a woman who recently had a baby didn't know that her husband nutting inside of her could possibly lead to pregnancy. Outside of going on a couple dates with Jesus, that's the only way to have a baby, and I'm pretty sure Jessica is not the Virgin Mary. I'll accept that reasoning from young, tight hotties like Selena Gomez or Vanessa Hudgens, but Jessica Simpson is the 32-year-old face of a billion dollar [tacky] fashion empire. The naive hot chick era ended for Jess when Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica was cancelled. She should know by now that the only member of her family who could have unprotected sex with someone and not get them pregnant is her dad Joe, if you catch my drift.

*30 Jessica Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Wednesday, February 27

Jessica Simpson on the set of a commercial in L.A. (pics start here)

Behati Prinsloo at the launch of the "Fabulous" collection at Victoria's Secret Herald Square in New York (pics start here)

Eva Longoria leaving Borchardt Restaurant in Berlin (pics start here)

Jenna Dewan hiking in Runyon Canyon in L.A. (pics start here)

Isla Fisher arriving on a flight at Charles de Gaulle Airport in Paris (pics start here)

Anne Hathaway leaving Lucifers Pizza in Los Feliz (pics start here)

Miranda Kerr out and about in New York (pics start here)

Kate Walsh leaving the Andy Lecompte salon in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Britney Spears leaving Target in Woodland Hills, CA (pics start here)

Sienna Miller out and about in New York (pics start here)

Marion Cotillard at the premiere of Jappeloup at the Grand Rex in Paris (pics start here)

Ashley Olsen arriving on a flight at Charles de Gaulle Airport in Paris (pics start here)

*111 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

Jessica Simpson arriving at Don Coco in Studio City (2/18)

Jessica Simpson has officially reached the "cropped phase" of her pregnancy. She only looks good when you crop the pictures like this.

*30 Jessica Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Friday, February 15

Jessica Simpson leaving The Ivy in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Olivia Wilde out and about in New York (pics start here)

Kate Mara and her boyfriend Max Minghella out and about in New York (pics start here)

Ashley Tisdale out and about in Toluca Lake (pics start here)

Rihanna leaving Blok nightclub in Hollywood (pics start here)

Sandra Bullock leaving Landis' Labyrinth Toy Shop in L.A. (pics start here)

Alessandra Ambrosio at Crumbs Bake Shop in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Jennifer Love Hewitt at The Client List Valentine's Day Event at Mel's Diner in New York (pics start here)

Jamie-Lynn Sigler running errands in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Anna Faris leaving CVS in L.A. (pics start here)

Katherine Heigl being interview by Maria Menounos for Extra at The Grove in Hollywood (pics start here)

Miley Cyrus out and about in Manhattan (pics start here)

*108 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

Jessica Simpson has gigantic boobs

It's only been a few days since she announced that she was pregnant again, but Jessica Simpson's boobs are already gigantic (as seen in this pic she tweeted yesterday from Hawaii). If boob size was proportionate to intelligence, Stephen Hawking would be her bitch. "Get over here Hawking and I'll explain quantum mechanics to you."

*5 Jessica Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

Celebrities without makeup

It's a sad fact that most celebrities are pretty average-looking, which makes it all the more confusing as to why they'd leave their house without makeup on. I don't mean to sound sexist, Jessica Simpson, but maybe you could wake up a half hour earlier to make yourself more presentable to the world? Is that too much to ask? It's not like you're busy voting or something.

UPDATE: Apparently women are actually allowed to vote now. When the hell did that happen?

*30 no makeup celebrity pictures total in the gallery:

Jessica Simpson is pregnant again

Us Weekly says "Christmas is still nearly four weeks away, but Jessica Simpson got her biggest present early: Another baby on the way!" Um, I think they're implying that the present is that she now gets to eat whatever she wants over the holidays. What assholes. From the mag:

"It definitely wasn't planned. But yes, Jessica is pregnant again," a source reveals to Us. The surprise baby-to-be is the second for the singer and Fashion Star mentor, 32, and fiance Eric Johnson ... She really is overjoyed!"

It "definitely" wasn't planned? Wait, so Eric literally jumped out of the bushes one day and forcibly impregnated Jessica on the sidewalk against her will? Are you trying to tell me Eric Johnson is a violent rapist? Or did they just have sex without a condom one night? Which is called "planning."

*5 Jessica Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

Jessica Simpson arriving home from the gym in L.A. (10/24)

Fresh off the news that her mom Tina filed for divorce from her dad Joe because he might be secretly gay, Jessica Simpson was looking pretty sad as she arrived back home from the gym yesterday. And you can't really blame her. I'd be pretty sad, too, if I found out that, when I was conceived, my dad was thinking about Rock Hudson the entire time. "Aw man, if only he was gay!"

*10 Jessica Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

That's pretty gay, dude

Joe Simpson is famous for 1. Being the father of Ashlee and Jessica Simpson, and 2. Being the creepy father who always talks about Jessica Simpson's boobs. But suddenly it doesn't seem so creepy because a family insider told the National Enquirer that Joe is queerer than a three dollar bill. No wonder Jessica can hit that high note! Via Radar:

And not only has a family source told The National Enquirer that 54-year-old Joe came out of the closet, the source says the former youth pastor and Baptist minister has a 20-some­thing boy toy! The stunning confession was the  real reason wife Tina filed for divorce from Joe, her husband of 34 years, in late September, the Enquirer reports.

"Joe got the family together about two months ago and came out of the closet," an insider divulged. "He told them that he'd tried to continue in his marriage to Tina, but he couldn't go on any longer and deny the fact that he had these feelings for men. Joe said it wasn't fair to her, and it wasn't fair to him."

You know, I've had my suspicions about Joe for quite some time. There's always been something about him that's just "off." I think the smoking gun for me was that time I ran into him at a club in Hollywood and he let me fuck him in the ass. I kid, I kid. It was in Santa Monica.

*5 Gay Joe Simpson pictures total in the gallery: