Recently in Jessica Biel Category

Lindsay Lohan leaving Blue & Cream boutique in New York (6/16)

Lindsay Lohan is denying that she hinted on her Twitter page on Monday that Justin Timberlake was cheating on Jessica Biel at AVENUE lounge in New York ("So dark -- where's jb cheater?"). A grainy pic was also posted of Justin allegedly making out with another woman. Lindsay claims the post and picture were the work of a stalker . . . yeah right. The only guy stalking this bitch is Jack Daniels. Lindsay told Life & Style:

"I would not discuss my personal life, let alone someone else's, on the internet! Clearly! Twitter needs to fix their shit. I didn't write 'jb cheater!' What does that even mean? It's annoying."

And what does Avenue have to say about all this? "Celebrities that twitter about other celebrities will no longer be welcome at Avenue," says an Avenue Lounge spokesperson.

A stalker? That's the best excuse she could come up with? Why not aliens? Or a secret government plot to tarnish her reputation? Both would have been more believable than a stalker. If I'm hacking Lindsay Lohan's Twitter, I'm not writing something cryptic like "So dark -- where's jb cheater?" You better believe I'd be writing something super offensive. "So a Jew, an Asian, and a Mexican walk into a bar . . ."

Jessica Biel out and about in Westwood (3/12)

I think Jessica Biel is actually trying to sound as stupid as possible this month. First she complained that she doesn't get any prime movie roles because she's too hot, and now she's whining that Hollywood robbed her of all her college memories. I'm sure next week she'll bitch that she hates living in a huge mansion because she always gets lost in it. From IMDB:

Jessica Biel regrets dropping out of college to pursue an acting career, and would ditch her Hollywood dreams if she could start over. Biel, 27, enrolled for courses at Massachusetts' Tufts University but quit school within a year-and-a-half to film The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, a 2003 remake of the 1974 horror film.

And Biel still scolds herself for turning her back on her school books despite her success as a Hollywood actress - because she missed out on making memories with her peers.

She tells America's Allure magazine, "I wish I would have had that time that my girlfriends all had. I wish I would have lived in that crappy, nasty brownstone that they all lived in. If I had to do it again, I would have stuck around and finished it out."

You know what's even better than college memories? Ferraris. Seriously, I would trade every one of my college memories for a 2009 F430 -- a car Jessica could afford without batting an eyelash. She needs to do us average* people a favor and shut the fuck up.

*4% body fat is average, right?

Jessica Biel is too hot for her own good

Poor Jessica Biel. Show business is hard for her because she's so hot. No, really, she actually said that. From Us Weekly:

Jessica Biel says her good looks are hurting her career.

"Yeah, it really is a problem," Biel tells the June issue of Allure magazine. "I have to be blunt."

The actress -- whose latest film, Powder Blue, (in which she plays a stripper) is going to straight to DVD -- isn't handed plum roles.

"I'm in there with everybody else, fighting for the good parts. Yes, The Illusionist has made a difference -- but a huge, massive difference, so I can pick and choose what I want? No. I just want an opportunity. If you don't like the audition, don't hire me! But if you don't want to even see me -- that's hurtful. And why? You know nothing about me!"

Jessica's right. It has to be her good looks and not her overinflated sense of self-worth that's keeping her from getting prime acting gigs. It's this sort of revelation that really makes you appreciate the struggles of actresses such as Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox. Through hard work and perseverance, they were able to overcome the discrimination against attractive people that obviously runs rampant throughout Hollywood. Fortunately for Jessica, there's still a place where hot chicks with no talent can make a living: Porn Fox News.

Jessica Biel at the 12th Annual Revlon Run/Walk For Women in New York (5/2)

+ Hilary Duff's cleavage! [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Rachel Bilson is a cute bag lady [Hollywood Tuna]
+ Megan Fox has a nice tongue [Bastardly]
+ Cassie Nude Pictures Hacked / Leaked [Egotastic!]
+ Gisele Bundchen busts out the cleavage [Popoholic]

+ Kiefer Sutherland charged with third degree assault [I'm Not Obsessed]
+ Phone sex pranks. Hilarious. [College Humor]
+ Hayden Panettiere and Bristol Palin battling teen pregnancy [The Superficial]
+ Lily Allen goes off again [Dlisted]
+ A little something for the ladies [A Socialite's Life]

+ Zoe Saldana is a cutie [Lossip]
+ Worst American Idol performance ever [Yeeeah!]
+ Rihanna's confidence is back [CityRag]
+ Angelina's secrets and lies! [popbytes]
+ Scarlett Johansson in a leather suit leaves crew speechless [Gabby Babble]

The Costume Institute Gala was sexy

Believe it or not, not everyone at the Costume Institute Gala last night dressed like a complete jackass. The list of winners (there's 147 pictures on PAGE 2. This post took me god damn forever to edit and upload so do me a favor and click on some of them):

Miranda Kerr
Bar Refaeli
Kate Bosworth
Blake Lively
Cindy Crawford
Marion Cotillard
Diane Kruger
Heidi Klum
Jessica Biel
Karolina Kurkova
Rachel Bilson
Victoria Beckham
Jessica Alba
Gisele
Selma Blair
Kate Beckinsale
Eva Longoria
Ivanka Trump
Melania Trump
Rosario Dawson

Good god. It reads like a hit list of chicks I routinely beat off to.

Jessica Biel is a failure

Hope you weren't planning on seeing Jessica Biel's newest film -- officially called "Powder Blue" but will forever be known as "That movie where Jessica Biel shows her tits" -- in the theatre. It's going straight to DVD. Which is probably for the best. Can you imagine how creepy opening night would have been? You'd have 100 guys in sunglasses and loose sweatpants climbing over each other in an attempt to get a seat in the very back of the theatre. From the New York Post:

Jessica Biel -- one of the sexiest, most beautiful women in the world -- has had bad luck with her latest movies, and hasn't been seen on the big screen since "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" two years ago. Not even scenes of Biel dancing topless as a stripper in "Powder" -- co-starring Ray Liotta, Kris Kristofferson, Forest Whitaker and Lisa Kudrow -- could get the somber drama a theatrical release. "Powder" is going straight to DVD in June.

Let's be honest. With most of her talent located primarily in her ass, is anyone really surprised that this is where Jessica's career has ended up? Besides, most of her fans aren't interested in seeing her star in a big-budget movie that has a wide theatrical release. They'd rather see her star in a low-budget "art film" that results in a hand release.

NOTE: To see the uncensored pics, click the headline pic (or thumbnails) and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.

Jessica Biel's topless scene from Powder Blue

I just saved you ten bucks. Now you don't have to go see Powder Blue next month. Hero? A hero isn't someone who posts nude pics on the Internets; it's someone who runs into a burning building to save a woman, two children, and a cat named snuggles. I did that last week, so yes, I guess I am.

NOTE: To see the uncensored pics, click the headline pic (or thumbnails) and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.

Britney Spears runs into her ex-boyfriend

Britney Spears ran into her ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake Monday night at the Yatai Asian Tapas Bar in West Hollywood. Oh, and he was with his girlfriend Jessica Biel. Awk-ward. I wonder if Britney took any pictures of Justin to add to her shrine? From Us Weekly:

While "Jessica looked gorgeous," Spears "didn't look the best, but she probably thought no one would see her, as this restaurant isn't usually a hot spot," the onlooker tells Us.  The witness describes the restaurant as "so small...like the size of a living room," and the situation as "uncomfortable.  "Jessica and Justin looked to be slumping down in their seats to avoid [Spears]. She left 30 minutes later," another source tells Us. "Shortly afterward, Justin and Jessica got in their car and left." (Source)

Talk about awkward. Britney's just trying to enjoy her pot stickers, steamed pork bao, peking duck, fried wontons, broccoli with garlic sauce, mandarin chicken, lettuce wraps, crispy chicken wings, hot and sour soup, sweet and sour pork, sesame chicken, vegetarian spring roll, BBQ chicken on a skewer, wonton noodle soup, chow mein, water dumpling with spicy sauce, shrimp dumplings, spicy wonton, cashew chicken, double hunan delight, moo goo gai pan, pork with vegetables dumpling, friend rice, golden honey chicken, egg roll, kung pao chicken, moo shu pork, boneless ribs, eggplant tofu, beef with broccoli, cream cheese rangoon, prawns with snow pea pods, fried shrimp balls, orange chicken, chow fun, garlic chicken, crispy prawns, scallion pancakes, crispy duck, egg flower soup, braised tofu, beef with oyster sauce, szechuan style beef, salt and pepper chicken, lo mein, general tso's chicken, and ice cream, and she goes and runs into her ex-boyfriend. Tough break.

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel walking their dogs in the Hollywood Hills (11/25)

+ Lohan looks like she has an eating disorder [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Nikolina Pisek Topless Cellphone Pictures Leaked [Egotastic!]

+ Kate Walsh and her bitch [Just Jared]

+ Anna Friel upskirt [TaxiDriverMovie]

+ Jessica Alba looks homeless [Lossip]

+ Some people have way too much time on their hands [All Cosplay]

+ Stripper pole catfight [F-Listed]

+ Ivana Trump breaks up with her golddigger husband [Dlisted]

+ See if you can find the beer in this picture [Derek Hail]

+ 13 things to watch for on Steven Seagal's reality show [Attuworld]

[Flynet]

Jessica Biel

Jessica Biel at the "MoMa Film Benefit Gala" in New York (11/10)