Recently in Jessica Alba Category

Aw yeah baby

Jessica Alba went mattress shopping in L.A. yesterday. Because she's an insatiable horny man addict who has yet to find a bed that can hold up to her need for constant rough sex? Actually, yes, that's exactly why. How did you know?

Jessica Alba and her daughter Honor Warren leaving Real Food Daily restaurant in West Hollywood (6/7)

+ Ronson and Lohan are definitely having sex again [I'm Not Obsessed]

+ Big boobs! (NSFW) [College Humor]
+ Who's Lorraine Kelly and why is she flashing her undies? [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Gisele Bundhen Nude Photos in Photo [Egotastic!]
+ Jennifer Love Hewitt is not ugly [Hollywood Tuna]

+ Megan Fox looking sexy in South Korea [The Superficial]
+ Phil Spector's new mug shot. Holy shit. [Dlisted]
+ Dude is totally staring at Kim Kardashian's tits [Bastardly]
+ David Carradine autopsy photos for sale [The Blemish]
+ Us Weekly runs 7th consecutive Jon & Kate cover [Cele|bitchy]

+ Lindsay Lohan has an oral fixation [CityRag]
+ A little see through is never a bad thing [Double Viking]
+ The worst lays in movie history [Pajiba]
+ I've dreamed of being on top of Alessandra Ambrosio like that [Derek Hail]

Jessica Alba arriving to a production studio in Irwindale, CA (5/27)

Jessica Alba is sorry for defacing Oklahoma City. Pictures emerged Monday of the star pasting posters of sharks (as part of a guerrilla marketing campaign to save great white sharks) all across the city -- causing hundreds of dollars worth of damage. She said in a statement:

"I got involved in something I should have had no part of. I realize that I should have used better judgment and I regret not thinking things through before I made a spontaneous and ill-advised decision to let myself get involved with the people behind this campaign. I sincerely apologize to the citizens of Oklahoma City and to the United Way for my involvement in this incident."

Wow, talk about taking a stand for what you believe in. Jessica sold those sharks out faster than U2 sells out Madison Square Garden. If you're not prepared to be arrested Jessica, don't take a stand for something. For example, I've spent countless nights in jail in my fight against wearing pants. Despite that, you would never catch me releasing the kind of statement Jessica did. The movement simply means too much to me.

Jessica Alba is a vandal

Oklahoma City officials are pissed today after pictures surfaced of Jessica Alba pasting pictures of sharks across the city. The posters -- part of the "White Mike" guerrilla movement to "raise awareness of the dwindling state of Great White Sharks in our global environment" -- caused hundreds of dollars worth of damage. The pictures were originally posted on the White Mike twitter page ("Just came back from OK! Had a blast tagging with a new friend. Check out the pics with Jessica Alba's help here"). From Tulsa's NewsOn6:

In the pictures, she's seen wrapping up utility boxes and proclaiming victory with shark pictures over a United Way poster. Many people are not only offended by what they call vandalism on their city, but are confused by Alba's tactics.

"I couldn't tell what it was," resident Steve Brinkley said. "It looked like a vandalized poster of sharks."

United Way was one organization caught in the crossfire. It must now shell out about $235 for a new billboard.

Clearly Jessica needs to be punished for her actions. Vandalism is something I simply will not stand for -- even in the name of sharks. I think a year of starring in hardcore bondage films should teach her a lesson. The Playboy Channel presents "Ouch! That Candle Wax Fucking Hurts!" starring Jessica Alba and Harry Rod. You bet your ass I'd own a copy of that.

NOTE: Is anyone else craving shark fin soup right now?

Jessica Alba

Jessica Alba at the BVLGARI "Between Eternity And History" 125 years celebration party and gala in Rome (5/21)

Jessica Alba leaving Jinky's Cafe in West Hollywood (5/9)

+ Audrina squeezes her big fake boobs into a tiny dress [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Lydia Hearst Topless Pictures from GQ Italy [Egotastic!]
+ Beyonce fires worker mid-concert [Just Jared]
+ Leaked Cassie nude pic (NSFW) [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Bruce Jenner is getting more plastic surgery [Dlisted]

+ Star Trek killed it [Bam! Kapow!]
+ Stella Vidal is your afternoon pick-me-up [F-Listed]
+ Hilary Duff does Maxim Germany [Derek Hail]
+ Michael Phelps threesome? [Attuworld]

The Costume Institute Gala was sexy

Believe it or not, not everyone at the Costume Institute Gala last night dressed like a complete jackass. The list of winners (there's 147 pictures on PAGE 2. This post took me god damn forever to edit and upload so do me a favor and click on some of them):

Miranda Kerr
Bar Refaeli
Kate Bosworth
Blake Lively
Cindy Crawford
Marion Cotillard
Diane Kruger
Heidi Klum
Jessica Biel
Karolina Kurkova
Rachel Bilson
Victoria Beckham
Jessica Alba
Gisele
Selma Blair
Kate Beckinsale
Eva Longoria
Ivanka Trump
Melania Trump
Rosario Dawson

Good god. It reads like a hit list of chicks I routinely beat off to.

Jessica Alba leaving Michael's craft store in Santa Monica (4/24)

+ Christina Aguilera looks like a damn clown [Hollywood Tuna]

+ Samantha Ronson's favorite gig EVER [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Heidi Montag Honeymoon Bikini Pictures from Mexico [Egotastic!]
+ Your Jessica Alba/Marisa Miller smoking hot pic of the week [College Humor]
+ What about Hugh Jackman's balls? [The Superficial]
+ Megan Fox in a corset is WOW! [Popoholic]

+ Hef wants Holly back [I'm Not Obsessed]
+ A bullriding monkey? Fuck. Yeah. [Holy Taco]
+ Pam Anderson and Shannen Doherty hate each other [A Socialite's Life]
+ Michael Jackson is prepared for swine flu [Dlisted]

+ Pretty eyes and nice cleavage go a long way [Double Viking]
+ Paris Hilton named "Celebrity of the Year" by some stupid organization [F-Listed]
+ USC Song Girls. In bikinis. [Busted Coverage]
+ 10 porn stars who gave their bods to god [Attuworld]

Jessica Alba at Coldwater Park in Beverly Hills (4/23)

+ The American Idol bikini girl will not die [Bastardly]

+ The Hoff will save America's economy -- bank on it [College Humor]
+ Kate Walsh divorce gets ugly [I'm Not Obsessed]
+ Mel B and her huge tits [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Lindsay Lohan Bikini Pictures are Not Terrible [Egotastic!]

+ Britney Spears has a new form of therapy [The Superficial]
+ Marisa Miller looking smoking hot as usual [Popoholic]
+ Those two people from Slumdog Millionaire are dating [Just Jared]
+ Holy crap Cheryl Tweedy is hot [Hollywood Tuna]
+ Salma Hayek addicted to throwing weddings [The Blemish]

+ What a perfect little Stepford wife [Dlisted]
+ Madonna making her designer friends hire her boyfriend [Cele|bitchy]
+ A little something for the ladies [A Socialite's Life]
+ It's Paris Hilton's nipples [CityRag]

Jessica Alba leaving a friend's house in Beverly Hills (4/14)

+ Rumer Willis forgot her bra [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Evan Rachel Wood Gets Sexy for GQ [Egotastic!]
+ Hugh Jackman's been drinking his milk [Just Jared]
+ German actress Martina Hill has an upskirt moment [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Bynes! Hudgens! Sexy Leg Match-Up 2009! [Bastardly]

+ Jordana Brewster in nothing but her underwear [Popoholic]
+ Rosario Dawson needs to show more skin [Lossip]
+ Spencer Pratt wants to be "at least Governor" [Webster's Is My Bitch]
+ Octomom confirms new reality show [Cele|bitchy]