Archive: Jeremy Piven

Jeremy Piven wants to bang Hayden Panettiere

Jeremy Piven = FAIL. From Star magazine (via Cele|bitchy):

Jeremy chatted up Heroes hottie Hayden Panettiere [at an Emmys afterparty] - who, at 19, is 24 years younger than Jeremy. “He was trying to be charming and kept saying he ‘wanted to show her around town,’” says a partygoer. “But Hayden soon excused herself and escaped.”

If Jeremy Piven really wants to pick up on teenagers, he should do what any self-respecting guy would do: become an SAT tutor. Jeremy might want to accept the fact that from Hayden’s perspective, he’s an old man. He should also probably realize that for twenty dollars, strippers don’t make that distinction . . . or have souls. I know I don’t say this nearly enough but, I love you strippers.

[BauerGriffinOnline, WENN]

Jeremy Piven driving in Malibu (7/6)

If you’re a Malibu cop responsible for enforcing California’s new ban on driving while talking on a cell phone, Jeremy Piven just told you to fuck off.

[Flynet]

Jeremy Piven strikes out with Megan Fox

Megan Fox shot down Jeremy Piven like a Korean airliner at the Spike TV Guy’s Choice Awards* late last month after the actor tried flirting with her. The New York Daily News says:

Jeremy Piven was bent on meeting “Transformers” hottie Megan Fox in the greenroom at Spike TV’s Guy’s Choice Awards, airing on Sunday. “I don’t know you, but I should,” said Piven, staring at her like she was a lamb chop. He went on: “I know you’re getting an award.” Said an unimpressed Fox: “Do you even know which one?” The “Entourage” star was ready to answer, but she’d already walked away. (Source)

Jeremy Piven should know that Megan Fox is already spoken for by one of Hollywood’s most successful, handsome, and eligible bachelors: George Clooney Matthew McConaughey Johnny Depp Brian Austin Green. Wait, what? Nevermind, Jeremy was probably right to try. Hooking up with a balding, 5-feet-tall cable actor would have been a step up from a “made-for-TV movie” has-been.

*the same award show that graced us with these incredible pics of Marisa Miller

[WENN]

Jeremy Piven leaving Butter nightclub in New York (3/4)

Someone needs to remind Jeremy Piven he has a girlfriend. Though the actor is supposedly dating model Lillian Grant, he spent all Monday night hitting on women at New York’s Twelve21 nightclub. An eyewitness told the New York Post:

“[Jeremy] collected a lot of numbers. Later that night, he was texting two different models he picked up separately, telling each, ‘Come meet me.’ He had no clue they knew each other and were laughing about the identical messages.” (Source)

I guess that article I wrote on Tuesday about the Jeremy running to the ATM to get hooker money doesn’t sound so far fetched now does it? I do feel sorry for him though — getting shot down by models has to be tough. Of course, I have no idea what that’s like since they never say “no” to me . . . unconsciousness tends to have that effect on women. Fun fact of the day: Did you know that 6 runway models can fit into the trunk of a Dodge Neon?

[Splash News]

Jeremy Piven in New York early this morning

There’s only one reason a drunken man stops by an ATM at 3 in the morning: hooker money.

[Splash News]

I took all of one day for another story about Jeremy Piven acting like a complete douche at a restaurant to come out. This time Piven was a dick to the hostess at the Off Vine restaurant in Hollywood because she couldn’t find him a table on Valentine’s Day. According to a source:

“Believe it or not, he used the ‘Don’t you know who I am?’ line. He proceeded to berate [the hostess] about her treatment of him.” Piven allegedly left in a huff, “but not before slamming her about her working in a restaurant.” (Source)

Using the “Don’t you know who I am?” line is pretty much the sole reason I want to become a celebrity. I tried using it last week on the maître d’ of this fancy French restaurant downtown but he just gave me a weird look and muttered something about being dressed inappropriately. “I’ll have you know these jean shorts were made from the finest imported denim,” I snapped back at him

Entourage star Jeremy Piven has been banned from all Nobu Matsuhisa restaurants after acting like a complete ass at Matsuhisa Aspen during the recent US Comedy Arts Festival (if you’ve never been to Nobu, it’s much like your favorite local sushi restaurant but with more zeroes on the end of the check). According to a “snitch”:

“[Piven] came in with a large group of 12 or more without reservations and asked for a table. It was a very busy night, but a table, although cramped, was provided. On his way out, he made a nasty comment to the manager: ‘Thanks for nothing.’ He left a DVD of the first year of ‘Entourage’ to one of the waiters. [An employee] ran up the stairs and hurled it at him as he was leaving.” (Source)

Shouldn’t the waiter have been fired or something? I’ve never worked at a restaurant but I’m pretty sure they teach you on the first day to not throw tips back at the customers. Unless they leave you one of those cool Nerf footballs. I mean, c’mon, how could you not throw one of those things. An unthrown Nerf football is like a flower that never receives sunlight. Oh that’s a good one, write that down.