Jenny McCarthy at a Halloween party at Gallery nightclub in Las Vegas last year Note to Bradley Cooper: You could totally bang Jenny McCarthy if you wanted to. From
In Touch Weekly:
"I went from one guy to the next. I had them lined up!" the former Playboy centerfold tells In Touch of her love life. "Now I'm enjoying being single. I've been waiting my whole life for my own talk show, so now I have to make sure I have enough time with my son, too. Love is low on the totem pole!"
And although she admits she's "not putting anything specific out there" in terms of the type of guy she goes for, Jenny concedes that all rules would be suspended for a certain Hollywood A-lister. "If someone wanted to set me up with Bradley Cooper, I would say, 'Fuck all the bullshit I just said!'" she tells In Touch with a laugh.
I wish I could be nicer to celebrities, but every time I think I'm out, their stupid-ass comments pull me back in. Case in point: Jenny McCarthy. Jenny wants a shot at Bradley Cooper, a guy who
could be plowing a fine little piece of filet mignon -- Jennifer Lawrence -- if he wanted to. Unfortunately for Ms. Mac,
she's resembling beef jerky that's been in the Exxon Shop a few weeks too long these days -- not that it makes a difference to Brad. Rumor has it that Brad is big time into the vegetarian scene -- he just cant get enough V8 poured down his throat and chest. Hey, who can blame him? I can totally see why vegetarianism is perfect for him . . .
no vegan.
*25 Jenny McCarthy pictures total in the gallery:
Jenny McCarthy filming an interview with Extra at The Grove in Hollywood (2/12)
Say goodbye to normal-looking Jenny McCarthy, and say hello to freaky-looking Jenny McCarthy Thanks Botox! From
In Touch Weekly:
"I am Team Botox," Jenny admits in an exclusive interview in the new issue of In Touch. "I do it here and there. I use very little, so my face still moves," she says of the procedure.
And although Jenny says she's open to getting plastic surgery done in the future, she plans on waiting. "You don't really need old-fashioned surgery any more with all the lasers and Botox."
"I use very little, so my face still moves..." - Jenny McCarthy, Goddamn Liar
Just a little, huh? Coulda fooled me. I remember Jenny from way back before Al Gore invented the internets, and I can tell you that she was smoking hot. Today?
Meh. Jenny should lay off the snake venom because, for someone who uses very little of the stuff, she's looking an awful lot like one of the puppets from
Crank Yankers -- it wouldn't surprise me one bit if Jeff Dunham has had his hand up her ass working her head since 2010.
*20 Jenny McCarthy pictures total in the gallery:
Jenny McCarthy leaving Live! With Kelly studios in New York (6/5)
Even though they've only
been dating for three months, Jenny McCarthy is already moving to Chicago to be closer to boyfriend, Bears' star Brian Urlacher. I guess you can do that when you don't have a career. From the
New York Post:
The Playboy cover girl was spotted clearing out her Los Angeles house yesterday in preparation for the move with her young son, Evan. Whispers were that McCarthy was moving in with Urlacher, but her rep told Page Six: "Jenny is not moving in with Brian, but she is relocating with her son to the Chicago area for the foreseeable future."
We hear McCarthy will eschew the city's downtown to set up house "not far from where she grew up, and has lots of friends and family nearby." The "Love in the Wild" star will commute to LA and New York for work. McCarthy, who's currently gracing her sixth Playboy cover, and Urlacher have been dating quietly since April.
Look, pals, I know what you're thinking, but rest assured that Celebslam didn't accidentally reload a page from 1995 or owes money and/or sexual favors to our friends at AARP.org (the yanky-cranky is free to them) -- this really is a legitimate Jenny McCarthy story. After 20+ seasons playing the
Playboy version of
The Hunger Games (think arrows made of cock), Jenny finally found a fella that fills her properly. That Brian Urlacher must be quite the confident stud for invading such a well-used end zone. Oh well, a touchdown is a touchdown I suppose.
*20 Jenny McCarthy pictures total in the gallery:
Jenny McCarthy in the new Playboy Jenny McCarthy tells
People that her pictorial in the new issue of
Playboy (on newsstands Friday, if those still exist) isn't like all those other whores. She keeps it classy.
"I'm really proud of it. The pictures are really gorgeous and classy. They could be out of W magazine. They're really elegant. It's probably a lot more sophisticated than a lot of the stuff you'd see of people with their clothes on. The one thing I like about Playboy is they don't have the anorexic look. The women are voluptuous. So I didn't really want to diet. I just wanted to tone up."
I wouldn't call any photoshoot where you show your naked body "sophisticated." Unless you count those pictures of me in front of the fireplace I mailed Kate Beckinsale. Sure the bear skin rug I'm laying on is classy, but it's the scepter I'm holding that really drives home the sophistication. *wink*
*8 Jenny McCarthy pictures total in the gallery:
Jenny McCarthy at the 2012 NBC Upfront Presentation in New York (5/14)
Uh huh, Jenny McCarthy. Sure you pulled your hamstring while "sleeping." And I got these marks on my throat from fighting off a mugger trying to rob an old lady, and not when I tried to autoerotically asphyxiate myself while jacking off. Via
Contact Music:
Jenny Mccarthy was left red-faced on the set of her new dating show Love In The Wild after pulling her hamstring while she was sleeping. The actress/model was hosting the new TV series when she injured herself so badly she had to limp around the set on crutches, while contestants were risking severe injury in death-defying competitions.
She explains, "These kids were doing such dangerous adventures; I couldn't believe what we were asking them to do. Huge athletes couldn't have done half of the stuff we made these kids do and I was the one that wound up on crutches. I pulled my hamstring, so for, like, two episodes, I had to be like carried around on crutches and I pulled my hamstring while I was sleeping, so I felt like a real wuss... I was the injured one while these poor kids, diving off cliffs, managed to make it."
Really? Jenny pulled her hamstring while sleeping? Come on honey, there's no need to be modest. Anyone over 35 has probably seen your bent-over ass in the paper edition of
Playboy (way back before the days of the internets), so there's no need to be bashful about your extracurricular activities. What was probably happening when you hurt yourself was that you were in the "Peruvian Lotus" position, but you've gotten just a little too old to perform the act. Wait, you don't know what that is? I guess you wouldn't -- because I just coined the phrase -- so allow me to explain. Imagine Jenny McCarthy flat on her back, with her feet pinned behind her head. While getting drilled, there's a cave-in and the military gets called in to rescue the trapped miners -- hence a "Peruvian Lotus." Quite a dangerous maneuver for a woman of her age, but sometimes old broads need to learn lessons the hard way. Yeah, I know that's one hell of a stretch for a cheap joke, but that's how I roll, bitches.
*15 Jenny McCarthy pictures total in the gallery:
Jenny McCarthy at the grand opening of Pascal Mouawad's Glamhouse on Melrose Avenue in Beverly Hills (2/16)
What's up with the Chicago Bears and hooking up with B-listers. First Jay Cutler
knocked up Kristin Cavallari, and now Jenny McCarthy is in love with Brian Urlacher. From the
Chicago Sun Times:
South Side native Jenny McCarthy is said to be more than just "giddy" about her new romance with Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher. A longtime pal of the actress and TV personality (going back to her days at Mother McAuley High School) tells me that McCarthy "has really fallen for the guy. He's such a man's man, the most macho guy Jenny's dated or been involved with for a long, long time."
According to the source, McCarthy loves how Urlacher is the strong, silent type -- the way he "quietly takes care of her when they're together. That may sound old-fashioned, especially since Jenny is very much her own person and a very contemporary, independent woman in many ways. But she loves the attention and the way he treats her. It's very comforting."
I know it's a slow start to the attention whore season, but we're really scraping the bottom of the barrel on this one. Jenny McCarthy is not a celebrity. Well, not anymore. She used to be back when there was no internet and you had to actually buy a
Playboy to see bleached blonde tacos (aka "The Dark Ages"). Besides that, her career is a question mark. Does banging Jim Carrey count? Maybe in the
Ace Ventura and
Dumb and Dumber days, but not now. The real story is that apparently Brian Urlacher totally digs cougars, which is strange because bears and cougars are natural enemies. He can have his pick of the Chicago litter, but he chose the 1993 Playmate of the Year. Brian, enjoy your cameos on
The Real Housewives of whatever city Jenny ends up in.
*13 Jenny McCarthy pictures total in the gallery:
Paparazzi photos from Tuesday, October 25
Jenny McCarthy leaving Trousdale nightclub in West Hollywood (
pics start here)
Nathan Fillion and
Stana Katic filming
Castle in L.A. (
pics start here)
Salma Hayek at the premiere of
Puss in Boots at the Regency Village Theatre in Westwood (
pics start here)
Renee Zellweger arriving on a flight at LAX airport (
pics start here)
Actress
Fivel Stewart at Mr. Bones Pumpkin Patch in West Hollywood (
pics start here)
Rebecca Gayheart out and about in Beverly Hills (
pics start here)
Julianne Hough and
Ryan Seacrest leaving Trousdale nightclub in West Hollywood (
pics start here)
Rebecca Black at Variety's 5th Annual "Power of Youth" event at Paramount Studios in L.A. (
pics start here)
Evan Rachel Wood arriving on a flight at LAX airport (
pics start here)
Emma Roberts leaving Pressed Juice in Brentwood (
pics start here)
Ashley Greene at the Cinéma Gaumont Opéra in Paris for a meet and greet with
Twilight fans (
pics start here)
Katherine Heigl, husband
Josh Kelley, and their daughter
Naleigh out and about in L.A. (
pics start here)
Kelly Rowland arriving at
The X Factor studios in London (
pics start here)
Gwen Stefani and her son
Zuma at a playground in London (
pics start here)
Kelly Brook at the launch of
Dance Central 2 for Xbox 360 in London (
pics start here)
*139 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:
Jenny McCarthy arriving at LAX airport (7/11)
Jenny McCarthy was spotted arriving at LAX earlier this week missing a key piece of clothing. I'll give you a hint: It's not one of those novelty beer can helmets. She checked that in her luggage.
NOTE: To see the uncensored
Jenny McCarthy see-through pics, click any thumbnail with a yellow star on it and
then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the
image.
*16 Jenny McCarthy see-through pictures total in the gallery:
Jenny McCarthy is still hot No, I'm really not making fun of Jenny McCarthy with that headline -- she asked that exact question
on Twitter a few days ago. If she wants my opinion, I would say her tan is more fake. Even though her boobs definitely look fake, they actually feel really natural. It is the weirdest thing ever. I've never seen it before.
*7 Jenny McCarthy pictures total in the gallery:
The 2010 American Music Awards: Just the Attractive People Here's a ton of pics from last night's American Music Awards -- just the attractive people of course. The big winner of the night was Justin Bieber, who took home awards for Artist of the Year, Favorite Pop/Rock Male Artist, Breakthrough Artist, and Favorite Pop/Rock Album. It's about damn time that kid got some recognition. He's put in literally months of hard work.
Gallery feature 199 pictures so click around:
*199 2010 American Music Awards pictures total in the gallery:
Would You Rather...? Spend one night with: