Archive: Jennifer Love Hewitt

“Oh yeah, take it bitch.”

Jennifer Love Hewitt wishes she had more time naked in her youth, before she was blessed with them massive child bearin’ hips of hers. She told Health magazine:

“I wish I had been nude from the time I was 12 until I was 28. I looked great! I so wish I had listened to my mom and grandma when I was 18 and would complain about some little tiny bump or feeling bloated. I used to scoff and say, ‘No, I feel fat today!’ Now the joke’s on me.” (Source)

Let this be a lesson to all of you guys out there: Don’t put a ring on your chick’s finger! Because the second you do, it’s like turning on a faucet of fat. And that faucet can’t be turned off until you sign the divorce papers. At which point she’ll become hot again, just in time to bang your best friend. Has anyone seen my shrink?

[Flynet]

Jennifer Love Hewitt

Jennifer Love Hewitt on the set of Ghost Whisperer in L.A. (6/25)

NOTE: 6 more pics on PAGE 2 (CLICK HERE)

CLICK HERE to jump to 6 more pics of Jennifer Love Hewitt on PAGE 2

Jennifer Love Hewitt

Jennifer Love Hewitt running errands yesterday in L.A.

[BauerGriffinOnline]

Jennifer Love Hewitt at the premiere of 27 Dresses in L.A. (1/7)

Say what you will about her fat ass but there’s no denying that Jennifer Love Hewitt has one of the nicest sets of, ummm, teeth in Hollywood. Definitely looks like she brushes every day. How does she find the time!

Jennifer Love Hewitt pregnant?

Newly-engaged Jennifer Love Hewitt is rumored to be pregnant. The actress generated a minor controversy last week after responding to critical comments made about some pictures of her in a bikini while on vacation in Hawaii that hit the web. A source told the Boston Globe:

“Jennifer was shocked, but at the same time she was ecstatic with the news. It wasn’t planned, but now that it’s happened Jennifer and Ross are both very happy.” (Source)

The last thing you want to do when the media has been talking nonstop for the last two weeks about your fat ass is get pregnant. Jennifer needs to work out. Like I did last year when 60 Minutes did that piece on how out of proportion my upper and lower body were. I didn’t bitch, I hit the gym and busted my ass. All those extra squats and leg presses later, you know who is the proud owner of a second place ribbon and $40 Applebees gift card from this year’s “Hot Bod” contest.*

*the first place guy is sleeping with the judges. Slut.

PICS: The glory years of Jennifer Love Hewitt:

Jennifer Love Hewitt

Jennifer Love Hewitt running errands in Toluca Lake (12/3)

Jennifer Love Hewitt and Ross McCall (2/25/2007)

Jennifer Love Hewitt’s boyfriend of two years, Ross McCall, proposed to the actress over the weekend in Hawaii. The Spanish actor sealed the deal with an antique ring that has been in his family for over 100 years. All together now: awwwwwwwwww. That’s so cheap cute. I’m happy for the couple but I must ask, isn’t Ross about 10 years late? Asking Jennifer Love Hewitt to marry you now is like buying Microsoft stock in 1998. It’s still kinda good but for the most part you missed the glory years.

NOTE: There’s some Jennifer Love Hewitt bikini pics floating around from over the weekend (PICS HERE). I’ve tried posting them three times now but every time I break down in tears at the tragedy that is her ass and hips. That’s not how I want to remember her.

Jennifer Love Hewitt

Jennifer Love Hewitt shopping at Lisa Kline in Beverly Hills this weekend

Has there been any bigger decline* in history than Jennifer Love Hewitt? She’s gone from starring in the bulk of my fantasies to … dude I don’t even know. What the !@#$% kind of dress is that?!? My grandma thinks that’s too conservative and my grandma uses words like “heck” and “gosh.”

*Besides 5th Century Ancient Rome. Obviously.

Apparently Jennifer Love Hewitt found a ripple in the space time continuum over the weekend and traveled all the way back to 1998. Damn. Look at those sweater puppies. It’s refreshing to finally see this chick dress in something other than what Mary Sue wore to the barn raising last Saturday.

Thank God for high def computer monitors.

More of Jennifer and her glorious rack after the jump…

More »