These days it's not unusual for invitations to stars' parties to include ''No Cell Phone/No Cameras'' instructions -- which usually aren't observed or enforced when it comes to superstar guests. That wasn't true for the two bashes Marc Anthony threw for wife Jennifer Lopez's 40th birthday last weekend in New York.For the right price, it sounds like J.Lo will sell the picture rights to anything she does. If she's ever strapped for cash, I wouldn't be surprised if she put some of her most humiliating moments up for sale -- like taking a dump, peeing in the shower, or having sex with Marc Anthony. The sad thing about this story is that she'll probably never allow cameras to the one event we're all actually interested in seeing: her divorce proceedings.
''It was particularly funny at the [big Saturday night] party at the Edison Ballroom,'' said a spy who was there. ''People like Gayle King, Beyonce, Rihanna or Madonna aren't used to having their cell phones or Blackberrys confiscated at the door. People really looked [ticked] off ... but they got over it pretty quickly.''
The reason for the rule? Anthony and Lopez have sold exclusive rights to the parties to a celebrity magazine.
Jennifer Lopez must have a strict no-helium policy. When word spread through Tribeca that J.Lo had brought her twins to the set of "The Backup Plan," the nabe's kid-friendly Balloon Saloon sent the tots two bunches. J.Lo's bodyguard sternly refused them.Perhaps J.Lo sent back the balloons because her kids are frightened by them -- you'd be scared of large round orbs too if your mom's ass weighed twice as much as your father. By the way ladies, for those of you that have always wanted to have an enormous ass like J.Lo's, there's only one thing you need to do to make your dreams become a reality: get married.
...the line will halt production with the spring 2009 collection, which is currently in stores. Still, Lopez -- who still has her flagship line, JLO by Jennifer Lopez -- plans to resurrect the brand at some point in the future.Of course J.Lo's clothing line tanked -- there isn't much demand these days for pants that double as a parachute (with apologies to MC Hammer and his creditors). If J.Lo really wants to make some money, she should get into a field where she has some expertise: pest control (click here to read more stories about Marc Anthony).
"In light of new company strategies, we have decided to put the Sweetface line on hiatus while we prepare to reintroduce the brand in the near future with new messaging points and an entirely new fashion point of view," the company said in a statement.
"Every time I’m not wearing my ring, people think I’m getting divorced. That’s crazy! It just didn’t go with the dress. Divorce is not — and was never — an option."Hey J.Lo, guess what I'm looking at on my wall right now. Yup, a college degree. And I didn't buy it off the internet. If we forget the fact that I blog for a living, I think that validates that I'm not completely retarded. That's who your comment was aimed at, right? Retarded people? It didn't go with the dress? Have you ever heard a lamer excuse than that? She might has well have said her dog ate it.
"Marc and Jennifer are planning on announcing their divorce right after Marc's show at Madison Square Garden on Feb. 14," a friend of the couple tells us. "Jennifer is planning on joining Marc onstage for a surprise duet. Things haven't been right for a while now, and they thought it would be a bittersweet farewell. They're definitely planning a clean break in February."Who didn't see this coming from a mile away? J.Lo's insufferable and Marc looks like a character out of the movie Ratoutouille. You know who'll wind up being hurt the most by this power couples' divorce?
The couple, who have been married just over four years and are the parents of 10-month-old twins Max and Emme, renewed their vows in a surprise Las Vegas ceremony back in October, but sources close to the pair say that it didn't help, and that their relationship has been on a downward spiral in recent months. (Source)
Jennifer Lopez's marriage on the rocks
Us Weekly claims Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony's marriage is on the rocks. Lopez showed up to last week's New York premiere of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button without her wedding ring on and Anthony was spotted in Vegas the weekend before without his on. A friend of Anthony's told the magazine:
"He's very, very controlling of her. The skirts aren't as short. You don't see so much of that booty anymore."
A longtime friend of Lopez's added:
"She walks in from work, washes her hands and grabs the babies. With him, it's almost like, 'Ugh, they're crying again?' Jennifer looked around and said, 'This is my life now? I'm a Long Island housewife?' She hates that everything she worked for went down the tubes." (Source)
Damn right J.Lo. Those meddlesome twins ruined everything. If only there was a way to fix everything, a "sell the kids on the black market for their organs and then claim they were kidnapped by a highly organized pack of wild dogs"--type solution. Hey, don't give me that look, I'm just throwing it out there.
Jennifer Lopez
Jennifer Lopez at the premiere of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button in L.A. (12/8)
Jennifer Lopez outside the “International Night of the Stars” awards in New York (10/23)
Actually, no. But at least she's not as fat as she was a month ago. It just goes to show all you new mothers out there struggling to shed the baby weight. With hard work, a team of gourmet chefs cooking every meal, and a personal trainer you pay hundred of dollars per hour, anything is possible. What are you fatties waiting for?
[Pacific Coast News, WENN]
