Jennifer Lawrence

Kate Beckinsale at the "PUNK: Chaos to Couture" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York (5/6)

A ton of celebs attended the annual Met Gala last night in New York, but none looked as good as Kate Beckinsale. If being hot was equivalent to being a hero of the Crimean War, Kate would be Major-General Sir Howard Craufurd Elphinstone. Am I right or am I right!

Kate Beckinsale (19 pics here)
Emmy Rossum (12 pics here)
Stacy Keibler (12 pics here)
Kate Upton (7 pics here)
Miranda Kerr (14 pics here)
Emilia Clarke (7 pics here)
Nina Dobrev (9 pics here)
Heidi Klum (11 pics here)
Jennifer Lawrence (8 pics here)
Jessica Alba (11 pics here)

*113 Met Gala pictures total in the gallery:

Jennifer Lawrence

Jennifer Lawrence leaving the Vera Wang boutique in West Hollywood (4/27)

*35 Jennifer Lawrence pictures total in the gallery:

Jennifer Lawrence at the 2013 Film Independent Spirit Awards in Santa Monica (2/23)

Jennifer Lawrence sounds like a really great person to know. Especially if you're Bradley Cooper and you want to have sex with all of her hot friends. From the New York Post:

Despite the constant rumors, Jennifer Lawrence insists she's strictly friends with her "Silver Linings Playbook" co-star Bradley Cooper - and has even been setting him up with her friends. The 22-year-old Oscar winner said she's been helping the handsome actor out in the dating department. (Cooper split with actress Zoe Saldana in December.)

"I feel like all I've been doing lately is setting him up," the beauty said to MTV News. "I was like, 'You know what? I'm gonna save time and just get you a booklet with pictures of my friends. You just go through and pick them out, because this is getting exhausting.'"

Don't read too much into this tidbit, buddies. I have a sneaking suspicion that Jennifer and her friends are completely safe with Bradley Cooper. Brad seems to be the type of gentleman that would do anything to protect the virtue of a woman. Shit, I bet Bradley would rather have an enormous, veiny cock mercilessly rammed into his throat and poopshooter before allowing a lady caller to gain a reputation of ill repute by being seen with him past nightfall. I'm sorry, but Bradley is just a better man than all of us . . . a real "man's man," if you catch my drift.

*15 Jennifer Lawrence pictures total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Tuesday, February 26

Jennifer Lawrence leaving the Rossano Ferretti HairSpa in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Hilary Duff in Maui (pics start here)

Ashley Greene at the Salvatore Ferragamo show during Milan Fashion Week in Italy (pics start here)

British reality star Chantelle Houghton in Tenerife, Spain (pics start here)

Britney Spears leaving a dance studio in Thousands Oaks (pics start here)

Kate Upton outside NBC Studios in New York before her appearance on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (pics start here)

Model Behati Prinsloo catching a cab in New York (pics start here)

LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian arriving on a flight at Washington Dulles Airport (pics start here)

Stacy Keibler running errands in L.A. (pics start here)

Fergie leaving the Kanye West concert in Paris (pics start here)

Lily Allen shopping in Paris (pics start here)

Miranda Kerr arriving on a flight at JFK airport in New York (pics start here)

*113 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

Jennifer Lawrence tripped

After winning the Academy Award for Best Actress last night in somewhat of an upset, Jennifer Lawrence tripped on her way up to the stage to receive the award. Coincidentally, while on her way to a party in Hollywood, Lindsay Lohan also tripped last night. To recap:

• Jennifer Lawrence trips while on her way to receive Best Actress award
• Lindsay Lohan trips because of vodka and meth
  

WINNER: Jennifer Lawrence

*20 Jennifer Lawrence pictures total in the gallery:

Jennifer Lawrence at the 2013 Film Independent Spirit Awards in Santa Monica (2/23)

Before we get started on Oscars coverage, I just wanted to thank Us Weekly for making me feel less creepy about myself. Sideboob is officially mainstream now. Next stop, midget porn!

*30 Jennifer Lawrence pictures total in the gallery:

Jennifer Lawrence on her way to Little House Mayfair in London (2/9)

Jennifer Lawrence tripped over a curb and ate shit on Saturday in London. Not literally, of course . . . unless we really don't know Jennifer as well as we think we do and she has a secret demented side. Sorta like me and all of my dark fantasies. I'm a pirate!

*25 Jennifer Lawrence pictures total in the gallery:

Jennifer Lawrence has pneumonia

Jennifer Lawrence still managed to make it to the SAG Awards last night, despite battling a case of pneumonia. Wait, pneumonia's not like AIDS where you can catch it from a simple handshake, is it? Because maybe she should stay home, like she did Saturday night for the Australian Academy of Cinema Awards. From the New York Daily News:

Lawrence received the best actress award, but co-star and Australian native Jacki Weaver appeared for her.

"I am going to accept this award on behalf of Jennifer," Weaver, a Oscar nominee in the supporting actress category, said. "She really wishes she could be here, but she is very ill."

One guest at the event said, "Everyone was shell-shocked at what Jacki said. With these ceremonies, when people claim to be ill sometimes there is doubt about how unwell someone really is."

Pneumonia? Is Jennifer morphing into my nana before our eyes or is "pneumonia" the new euphemism for someone in rehab for "exhaustion"? Sounds familiar to me. I'm not implying any ginger shenanigans here, but if Jen starts accepting lesbo DJ fingers into her panties and/or goes on a decade-long crime spree, I'll have to reschedule my vacation this summer and hire another writer . . . and of course Lindsay will have to step up her game a notch. It would crush her self-confidence if she was no longer the best at being a total fuck-up.

*30 Jennifer Lawrence pictures total in the gallery:

Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence at a screening of Silver Linings Playbook in L.A. (11/19)

Bradley Cooper says he would never sleep with Jennifer Lawrence because she's too young. WTF? She's not Dakota Fanning. No one's gonna think you're a pedophile. From Entertainment Tonight:

Nancy O'Dell caught up with Golden Globe nominee Bradley Cooper backstage at [Sunday]'s Golden Globe Awards. When asked by O'Dell to address the persistent rumors that he is dating Jennifer Lawrence, his co-star in Silver Linings Playbook, Cooper responds, "If it didn't happen by now, it's not gonna happen...I could literally be her father."

Wow, Bradley isn't interested in uber hot Jennifer Lawrence because he could "literally be her father." I'm obviously not hip the current jive talkin' you kids are all blabbing, but is "too young" another way of saying "I need a hot, throbbing cock jammed into my backside"? If age differences in their relationships don't seem to bother alpha males like George Clooney, Ryan Seacrest, or Hugh Hefner then . . . wait a second, maybe Brad is onto something there. Maybe not bearding out hot chicks is the new way actors stay in the closet. Now that I think about it, where has Gilligan been hiding the last couple of years?

*15 Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence pictures total in the gallery:

Jennifer Lawrence in Maui (11/22)

Congratulations Jennifer Lawrence, everyone wants to have sex with you. Via the New York Daily News:

Jennifer Lawrence, you are the world's most desirable woman, according to an international poll released on Tuesday by the website AskMen.

"The Hunger Games" star rose to the top of the list from No. 47 last year on the heels of the box-office smash while buffing hercredibility as a quirky, sex-mad young widow in the independent film "Silver Linings Playbook," AskMen editor in chief James Bassil said. "Overall, there's a sense that she's a little more authentic than other actors. She's fresh because we haven't seen her all over the gossip pages for the past three or four years."

Lawrence bumped last year's winner, Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" fame, down to No. 12, while reality star Kim Kardashian plummeted to No. 98.

Hey, I finally agree with something on AskMen.com -- I hope I'm not turning into a douchebag. I admit that I've spilled more than my fair share of seed in honor of Jennifer -- it's nice to get credit for that rather than the expanding of the restraining order that usually follows. I just don't understand the need for competitions and lists. Can't we all agree to masturbate furiously to Jennifer AND Sofia? I mean, most of us do have two hands. Or in the case of Stephen Hawking, two Fleshlights.

*20 Jennifer Lawrence pictures total in the gallery: