Recently in Jennifer Aniston Category

Jennifer Aniston at the Women in Film Crystal and Lucy Awards at the Century Plaza Hotel in L.A. (6/12)

Looks like Jennifer Aniston borrowed Paris Hilton's magic bra for her appearance at the Women in Film Awards last Friday. Aniston was there to receive the "Crystal Award for Excellence in Film." Her acceptance speech:

"I really am doing my best to live up to your amazing examples with the work I have been so lucky to do ... However, I'm trying to be a little more careful about the titles. I kinda noticed, a couple years ago that, there seemed to be this strange parallel between the names of the movies and my life off, going back it started with 'The Good Girl' and then 'Rumor Has It' and followed by 'Derailed' ... then 'The Breakup' then on the lighter side there was 'Friends with Money' which I thought was on the nose."

Jen's right. Her films have paralleled her love life. Although she's forgetting the most obvious one: He's Just Not That Into You. And then, when she finally gives up men after yet another failed relationship, the ultimate taboo: Marley & Me.

Jennifer Aniston at a screening of Management at the Sunshine Theatre in New York (
(5/5)

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are supposedly talking again. The two have already broken up twice before oh god who cares, just go away. From the National Enquirer:

"(Mayer) wasn't calling her or texting her," a production insider from Aniston's new film The Baster divulged. "But, as she got lonelier and the shoot for her new movie wore on, she started reaching out to him, sometimes very late at night.  And sometimes after a few too many glasses of wine."

Luckily, Jen's BFF Courteney Cox Arquette, is around to straighten her Friends out.

"Courteney is the biggest objector to a John reunion," the source explained. "They never got along and Courteney is someone who has always told Jennifer she's just too good for John."

After everything he's put her through, there can only be one reason why Jen keeps going back to John: his penis . . . makes an amazing latte. I mean seriously, either these two have some sort of spiritual connection that transcends body and mind, or this guy's tongue is longer and quicker than a Komodo dragon's. Regardless, Jen's infatuation with John is good news for one person: Brad Pitt. He won't have to worry anymore about Jen's 4 AM drunk dials waking the babies.

Jennifer Aniston on the set of The Baster in New York (4/23)

So I guess Jennifer Aniston is pissed at John Mayer for moving on so quickly after they broke up, and with a much younger woman no less (he's rumored to be tapping a 23-year-old piece-of-ass cocktail waitress). Because why should he be happy? That's totally not fair! An insider told the National Enquirer:

"Jen is hurt and brooding that John rebounded so quickly. She went on a rant, telling friends that John should be with such a younger woman - because he's so immature and juvenile. Jen IS bitter. She's alone again and John is getting the last laugh."

Jen really shouldn't be too upset that John's dating a younger woman. Last time I checked, she's 40. According to my generation, that's, like, really really old. My god, she's over two decades removed from her peak hotness age of 16 errr 18. Of course any other woman he dates is going to be younger than her. If Jen really wants John to date a woman similar to her who's still single, there's really only one group of ladies he can hit on: The widowers at Shady Acres Retirement Home.*
 
*On a side note, the best way I've found into one of these woman's heart and bank account:  Bring a bowl of Oatmeal that can be eaten through a straw.

Jennifer Aniston bikini pics!

Jennifer Aniston in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico (Sept. 2007)

Jennifer Aniston leaving the set of The Baster in New York (4/29)

+ Ashton Kutcher hates the Drunken Stepfather [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Vanessa Hudgens' Sexy Bikini Self [Egotastic!]
+ A little something for the ladies [Just Jared]
+ Elizabeth Hurley has hard nips [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Paris Hilton to design a children's line of clothing [The Blemish]

+ Siz weird-ass moments in music [Holy Taco]
+ 10 movies that will make your penis smaller [Attuworld]
+ 21 ways to fuck up Blackjack [F-Listed]
+ Brad Pitt wants the kids [Cele|bitchy]

Jennifer Aniston out and about in New York (3/31)

Though her rep is denying it, the never-reliable Star is reporting that Jennifer Aniston has already started the process of adopting a baby. A source told the magazine:

"Her best friends all have kids, and Jen sees how much motherhood changed their lives for the best,” says the source. “She's dying to have that!”

Jen has already started planning a $250,000 nursery at her home in Beverly Hills, and has even picked out her nanny. Unlike Angie, she wants a baby from the USA.

Jennifer is getting help from close friends including Sheryl Crow, who adopted a baby boy two years ago. “Sheryl is walking her through the process step by step,” says another insider.

She wants to adopt a baby because all of her friends have one? That doesn't sound like a very healthy rationale. As an aging actress, Jen should want a child for all of the right reasons, like companionship, the joy of motherhood, and to score the cover of Esquire. If Jen really wants to start a family, she should just do what most women in Hollywood seem to do when they want kids: date K-Fed.

Jennifer Aniston on the set of The Baster in New York (4/27)

Ahhh, the life of a movie star. There's a dude on the set of The Baster (currently filming in New York) whose sole job is to follow Jennifer Aniston around and hold an umbrella over her head to block out the sun. From a set insider at BettyConfidential.com:

"Jen likes to have certain hair and makeup for all of her movies, especially the romantic comedies and she looks stunning in The Baster. She is unbelievably tan and her hair always looks perfect. She has an umbrella handler with her at all times due to the heat wave in New York. Her spray tan would literally slide off her face in the heat if she wasn't protected..."

Just once I'd like to read about a current actor that isn't a god damn primadonna. See, this is why I prefer classic film and television to the crap they're putting out nowadays. It was just different back then. You think Mark-Paul Gosselaar or Dustin Diamond or Lark Voorhies would have pulled this shit? Fuck no. They cared too much about their craft.

Jennifer Aniston on the set of her movie The Baster in New York (4/9)

You know who Jennifer Aniston would pretty much do anything to get back together with Brad Pitt? I mean, she saved his old answering machine messages for Christ's sake. Well now the National Enquirer wants us to believe it was Jen who broke up with Brad and not the other way around. LOL! An insider told the tabloid:

"Jen was champing at the bit to divorce Brad long before they announced their separation in January 2005. When Brad revealed the depth of his relationship with Angelina, it was painful for Jen, but she was almost relieved."

The once-tight golden couple had drifted apart due to career demands and the fallout from a miscarriage that Jen suffered about two years into the marriage, according to the source.

"After Jen lost the baby, she and Brad could never again agree on when they would have kids, and they continued to grow apart," said the insider. "But Jennifer is the one who wanted out, and she worked it so that Brad was portrayed as the instigator. In the end, she got the sympathy, while Brad got Angelina Jolie and the label of 'bad guy.'"

The "insider" later revealed that Germany actually won World War II, Costa Rica was the first country to send a man to the Moon, and something about President McCain.

Jennifer Aniston leaving her hotel in New York (3/26)

We have a new frontrunner for the dumbest story of 2009. Via contactmusic.com:

Jennifer Aniston has topped a new list of Hollywood's Sexiest Women in men's magazine Details. The newly-single former Friends star, 40, beat Transformers actress Megan Fox and newlywed Gisele Bundchen to land the top spot in the new poll.

The top five is:
1. Jennifer Aniston
2. Megan Fox
3. Gisele Bundchen
4. Frieda Pinto
5. Kim Kardashian

But wait, the awards didn't stop there! Details also revealed that Jennifer's cousin Mark -- who flew in all the way from Australia -- won the award for "Furthest Traveled." Winning the award for "Family with Most in Attendance" was the Johnsons (Jennifer's second cousin Sarah and her family). Winning the "Spirit Award" was Jen's aunt Patty, who beat breast cancer last year. Wait, what's that? Are you telling me none of that actually happened? Details didn't just republish the results from the awards ceremony at Jennifer Aniston's family reunion last month? Oh. Well then, they're gay.

Jennifer Aniston getting into a vehicle in New York (3/24)

+ Adrian Grenier has ugly groupies [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Jennifer Love Hewitt Bikini Pictures are Hot Again [Egotastic!]
+ Anna Kournikova could ring my bell any day [Just Jared]
+ Milla Jovovich has nice legs [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Megan Fox wore this to her dentist appointment [Bastardly]

+ Scarlett Johansson looks . . . different [Popoholic]
+ Twilight virgins liveblog Twilight [BuddyTV]
+ George Lopez getting his own talk show [Lossip]
+ Avril Lavigne is still an insufferable twat [Webster's Is My Bitch]
+ And the sexiest woman on TV is . . . [Cele|bitchy]