Jennifer Aniston bikini pics! (Los Cabos, Mexico - 11/13)
"No es usted, él es yo." English translation: "It's not you, it's me."
Jennifer's been on vacation in Mexico less than a week and she's already had two different dudes tell her that. She just can't seem to catch a break.
Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler on the set of The Bounty in Queens, New York (8/24)
Apparently we've all been wrong about Jennifer Aniston and her dating troubles these past few years. She hasn't been getting dumped -- she's purposely moving from boyfriend to boyfriend so she can stay in the spotlight. Hold your laughs until the end of the story. Thank you. From
Us Weekly:
Seems fitting that Jennifer Aniston has been spotted holding hands with Gerard Butler. Friends of the actress say she pursues only guys who can keep her as high profile as possible.
"Jennifer won't date a normal guy," a source tells the current issue of Us Weekly of the 40-year-old actress. "She goes after the hottest thing of the moment, what she knows will get her the most time in the spotlight."
Jennifer only dates "the hottest thing at the moment"? Odd, I don't remember her ever dating Paris Hilton's vagina.* It really isn't all that surprising that someone whose had a nose job, chin job, boob job, and dye job would only date someone based on their appearance. What is surprising is that there are still guys out there willing to date girls like Jen who are afflicted with such a devastating disability. Of course by "disability," I mean her age.
*Now with bouncer! And VIP list!
Jennifer Aniston on the set of The Bounty Hunter in New York (8/4)
+
Miranda Kerr has cameltoe [Hollywood Tuna]
+ Christina Hendricks from
Mad Men does
Esquire. Tits! [
The Superficial]
+
Britney Spears has some sloppy mom tits [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Jennifer Aniston showing the sideboob in
Elle [
PopEater]
+ No surprise, Avril Lavigne was a dork in high school [
College Humor]
+ Lindsay Lohan rockin' the knee highs [
Popoholic]
+ Tori Spelling's mom needs to go away [
I'm Not Obsessed]
+ Inner monologue of a 17-year-old at a strip club [
Holy Taco]
+ A nude Angelina Jolie breastfeeding [
A Socialite's Life]
+ La Toya Jackson is one classy dresser [
Dlisted]
+ Can a skirt be too short? Of course not. [
Double Viking]
+ Lyla Dee is your afternoon pick-me-up [
F-Listed]
+ The 9 greatest sports-related farts in history [
Busted Coverage]
+ The top 7 celebrity comebacks [
Attuworld]
Jennifer Aniston on the set of The Bounty in New York (7/30)
Jennifer calls this "fishing." Rub ice on your nipples and hope you can trick some poor schlub into marrying you. You should she what she does when goes "deep sea fishing."
HINT: It includes lots of ankle grabbing . . . and no pants.
Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler in New York (7/6)
Brad Pitt is pissed that Jennifer Aniston is hooking up with Gerard Butler. Wait, what? He should be pissed that she keeps calling him just to hear his voice and then hanging up, not that she's moving on with her life. From
TransWorldNews:
Brad Pitt is allegedly not happy that ex-wife Jennifer Aniston has found love with Gerard Butler. Sources say although Pitt is giving his relationship with Angelina Jolie another shot, he is still “put out” by Aniston and Butler’s budding romance.
“Even though Brad’s giving his relationship with Angelina another chance, he’s clearly put out by Jen’s romance with Gerard,” says a source.
Aniston, 40, is said to be very happy with the romance. She and Butler, who are currently filming The Bounty together, are taking “things slowly.”
Why would Brad even care who Jen is dating? He's got a smoking hot chick at home who apparently likes what all guys like:
sports cars to bang without a condom. Besides, Brad has nothing to worry about -- if Jen's relationship with Gerard is anything like her last few, it won't last long. In a couple months I'll be writing about how devastated she is about the breakup and how she never thinks of Brad except when she listens to
his old voice messages or sleeps with the doll she made out if his hair and toe nail clippings.
Jennifer Aniston on the set of Bounty Hunter in Atlantic City (6/24)
Jennifer Aniston thought she was dating
Hangover star Bradley Cooper -- until he basically dumped her in front of reporters. Ouch. For those of you keeping track at home, Jennifer's now been dumped in person, on the phone, over email, on TV, via singing telegram, and through one of those planes that writes messages in the sky. "It's not you Jen, it's me." An insider told the
National Enquirer:
“Jennifer was devastated when Bradley told reporters in Paris that she was ‘just a friend’ and denied they had any romantic involvement. It makes her look desperate — which is the one thing she dreads coming across more than anything else.”
At first, Aniston allegedly assumed Cooper’s public stance was merely an attempt to keep their relationship private, but the source explained that the actress soon learned otherwise.
“When (Aniston) confronted (Cooper) about it, he took the opportunity to let her down gently and say he only wanted to be friends,” the source revealed. “It was a huge embarrassment for Jennifer — now she feels used and upset — her confidence has taken yet another knock and she’s back at square one in terms of dating.”
Hasn't Jennifer realized by now that dating guys with blondish hair named "Brad" doesn't work for her? She needs to change things up a bit and start going after douchebag musicians (oh wait,
nevermind), tall ugly comedians (oh wait,
nevermind), short actors (oh wait,
nevermind),
anyone living outside of Hollywood. Seriously, if Jen's ever going to find the man of her dreams, she's going to have to start looking for a guy that's single, older, and not in the entertainment industry . . . like Kathy Griffin.
Jennifer Aniston at the Women in Film Crystal and Lucy Awards at the Century Plaza Hotel in L.A. (6/12)
Looks like Jennifer Aniston borrowed Paris Hilton's
magic bra for her appearance at the Women in Film Awards last Friday. Aniston was there to receive the "Crystal Award for Excellence in Film." Her acceptance speech:
"I really am doing my best to live up to your amazing examples with the work I have been so lucky to do ... However, I'm trying to be a little more careful about the titles. I kinda noticed, a couple years ago that, there seemed to be this strange parallel between the names of the movies and my life off, going back it started with 'The Good Girl' and then 'Rumor Has It' and followed by 'Derailed' ... then 'The Breakup' then on the lighter side there was 'Friends with Money' which I thought was on the nose."
Jen's right. Her films have paralleled her love life. Although she's forgetting the most obvious one:
He's Just Not That Into You. And then, when she finally gives up men after yet another failed relationship, the ultimate taboo:
Marley & Me.
Jennifer Aniston at a screening of Management at the Sunshine Theatre in New York (
(5/5)
Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are supposedly talking again. The two have already broken up twice before oh god who cares, just go away. From the
National Enquirer:
"(Mayer) wasn't calling her or texting her," a production insider from Aniston's new film The Baster divulged. "But, as she got lonelier and the shoot for her new movie wore on, she started reaching out to him, sometimes very late at night. And sometimes after a few too many glasses of wine."
Luckily, Jen's BFF Courteney Cox Arquette, is around to straighten her Friends out.
"Courteney is the biggest objector to a John reunion," the source explained. "They never got along and Courteney is someone who has always told Jennifer she's just too good for John."
After everything he's
put her through, there can only be one reason why Jen keeps going back to John: his penis . . . makes an amazing latte. I mean seriously, either these two have some sort of spiritual connection that transcends body and mind, or this guy's tongue is longer and quicker than a Komodo dragon's. Regardless, Jen's infatuation with John is good news for one person: Brad Pitt. He won't have to worry anymore about Jen's 4 AM drunk dials waking the babies.
Jennifer Aniston on the set of The Baster in New York (4/23)
So I guess Jennifer Aniston is pissed at John Mayer for moving on so quickly after
they broke up, and with a much younger woman no less (he's rumored to be tapping a 23-year-old
piece-of-ass cocktail waitress). Because why should he be happy? That's totally not fair! An insider told the
National Enquirer:
"Jen is hurt and brooding that John rebounded so quickly. She went on a rant, telling friends that John should be with such a younger woman - because he's so immature and juvenile. Jen IS bitter. She's alone again and John is getting the last laugh."
Jen really shouldn't be too upset that John's dating a younger woman. Last time I checked, she's 40. According to my generation, that's, like, really really old. My god, she's over two decades removed from her peak hotness age of
16 errr 18. Of course any other woman he dates is going to be younger than her. If Jen really wants John to date a woman similar to her who's still single, there's really only one group of ladies he can hit on: The widowers at Shady Acres Retirement Home.*
*On a side note, the best way I've found into one of these woman's heart
and bank account: Bring a bowl of Oatmeal that can be eaten through a straw.
Jennifer Aniston bikini pics! Jennifer Aniston in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico (Sept. 2007)
