Jennie Garth

Jennie Garth at a salon in L.A. (3/12)

In case you haven't heard, Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio of Argentina was voted Pope earlier today. He's taking the name Pope Francis, which totally isn't as cool as my suggestion: Pope Kickass. C'mon, tell me you wouldn't unload your pockets into the collection plate with Pope Kickass breathing down your neck. Pain is nothing but a way of life to that guy.

*15 Jenni Garth pictures total in the gallery:

Jennie Garth out and about in Vancouver, British Columbia (6/24)

Note to Colin Farrell: I hope you were a Beverly Hills, 90210 fan, because you could totally bang Jennie Garth if you wanted to. From The Globe:

Jennie Garth has been spotted on a couple of dates with tattooed HGTV Design Star winner Antonio Ballatore since splitting with hubby Peter Facinelli in March. But word is she's got her eye on another man - Colin Farrell! I hear the blonde beauty is dying to be set up with the Irish actor and father of two. "I can't help it, I like bad boys," she told a friend. (Print Edition - 6/15)

So what's the big deal if Colin has access to Jennie Garth's holes? He's Colin "I'm too good for you" Farrell, perennial A-list invite, and she's only Jennie Garth, soccer mom. Her career is so dead, George A. Romero is considering suing her for copyright infringement. Jennie's more "fan" these days than "actress," except she still has an agent taking 10% (of nothing). Luke Perry has a better chance or swallowing the Farrell custard than she does. Nah, I'm totally kidding, Jennie. Let's do coffee.

*17 Jennie Garth pictures total in the gallery:

Jennie Garth at Fashion Week in Bryant Park, New York (2/13)

Wow, Jennie Garth is really graceful. Like a newborn giraffe.