Javier Bardem

Penelope Cruz and Johnny Depp on the set of Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides in Oahu (7/26)

Penelope Cruz's rep confirmed the actress' pregnancy today. We're still waiting on you, Jessica Simpson's rep. From People:

The question of whether it's a baby bump or a costume has been answered: "Penelope is 4½-months pregnant," reps for Penélope Cruz and husband Javier Bardem confirm.

Photos of Cruz, 36, on the set of her upcoming movie, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, had sparked buzz that the recently married actress was expecting.

Four-and-a-half months? Wait a minute . . . *does quick math in head* . . . I was on a business trip four-and-a-half months ago! Whew! That was a close one! Ever since the condom broke, I've been sweating bullets! Turns out I had nothing to worry about at all!

*11 Penelope Cruz pictures total in the gallery:

Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem in Brazil in 2008

Penelope Cruz pulled a Megan Fox. She was secretly married to boyfriend Javier Bardem earlier this month in the Bahamas. When asked about her fairytale wedding by a local reporter, Penelope said something that no one understood. Seriously, does anyone ever know what the hell she's saying? From Life & Style:

Life & Style can report exclusively that actress Penélope Cruz has married boyfriend Javier Bardem. The couple wed in the Bahamas at a friend's house in the beginning of
July, a rep confirms to Life & Style. Penélope wore a dress by John Galliano and the ceremony was attended only by family members.

Penélope, 36, and Javier, 41, first met while filming Jamon, Jamon in 1992 but turned their friendship into something more when they started dating in 2007. The two also starred together in 2008's Vicky Cristina Barcelona. This will be the first marriage for both of them.

Attended only by family members? So Penelope didn't even invite her best friend Salma Hayek? I bet she just didn't want to be upstaged by her fantastically large breasts. Uh oh, I smell an old-fashioned cat fight a brewing. *cancels appointments for the next month, removes pants, sits back, waits*

*10 photos total in the gallery: