Jason Sudeikis

Olivia Wilde shooting a commercial in L.A. (3/13)

What's better than you and two strippers in the champagne room of a strip club? You, two strippers, and Olivia Wilde, that's what. From the New York Post:

Olivia Wilde took her new fiance, "Saturday Night Live" star Jason Sudeikis, on a raunchy date to a New York strip club, [the Penthouse Executive Club], booking a private room with two pole dancers before picking up the tab, sources tell Page Six.

There, a witness told us, "Olivia booked the private champagne room with two dancers. She took Jason inside, and while he wasn't allowed to touch the dancers, she could touch them ... They were in there for two hours, Olivia picked up the entire tab. Jason is a lucky guy."

We're told the wild date took place just over a month ago, after Wilde and Sudekis announced their engagement in January.

Guys, I know it's way too early for predictions, but guess who just took the top spot in the Celebslam "2013 Heroes of the Year" list? Well, no shit, Sherlock, it's Olivia Wilde. She is what all women should aspire to be: super-talented, ridiculously-hot, and insecure enough to go down on a stripper to keep her dorky partner happy. Dammit, I should have started stalking this chick years ago, before she hit it big. You were right as always, mom.

*15 Olivia Wilde pictures total in the gallery:

Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis in Wilmington, North Carolina (8/22)

After dating for a little over a year, Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis are engaged. Sudeikis popped the question "shortly after the holidays" and Olivia said yes. Well obviously or this would be a dramatically different article. A source close to the couple told People:

"They are so excited. And very, very happy."

I love the quote about them being excited and happy. I mean, is that really necessary? Has there ever been a quote in an engagement article that didn't sound exactly like that. "Olivia doesn't love Jason, but she said yes because she didn't want to embarrass him and kill her chances of getting to host Saturday Night Live. She's already figuring out a way to cheat on him to break up the engagement."

*30 Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis pictures total in the gallery:

Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudekis in Miami (8/19)

Things we learned about Olivia Wilde last night: 1. Her vagina died during her marriage to Tao Ruspoli, and 2. After the divorce, she was a total slut (Justin Timberlake, Bradley Cooper, and Salman Rushdie tapped that ass, just to name a few). From Vulture:

Last night at These Girls, a night of monologues hosted by Glamour magazine at Joe's Pub, Olivia Wilde told the audience, which included her boyfriend, Jason Sudeikis, about the end of her first marriage. "I felt like my vagina died," she said. "Turned off. Lights out ... And you can lie to your relatives at Christmas dinner and tell them everything on the home front is just peachy. But you cannot lie to your vagina."

What followed her divorce was a man-eating sex bender that ultimately left her feeling so lonely she considered "a soft kind of lesbian relationship, just gentle kissing and scissoring." That is, until she met someone -- hi, Jason! --and fell "blissfully, hopefully, wildly in love." Wilde said she was happy in her new relationship, except for the nagging worry that the hot monogamy ("We have sex like Kenyan marathon runners") might not last.

Olivia Wilde is quite the lady -- is she royalty or something? Her comments are so elegant, she makes the Virgin Mary look like a Kardashian. Don't mistake my words for sarcasm -- I'm loving what the broad is saying, but my mom always told me to stay away from girls who refer to their pussies in the third person. But hey, what does she know? If I had listened to her, I'd be a shyster chiropractor instead of King of the Internet/international playboy/model fluffer.

*20 Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudekis pictures total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Monday, January 23

Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis in Palm Springs (pics start here)

Zooey Deschanel out and about in L.A. (pics start here)

Kendall Jenner shopping at the Calabasas Commons (pics start here)

Amanda Seyfried filming Lovelace in Redondo Beach (pics start here)

Michael C. Hall leaving El Pollo Loco in L.A. (pics start here)

Supermodel Karolina Kurkova out and about in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil (pics start here)

Brenda Song leaving Urban Outfitters in Studio City (pics start here)

Cindy Crawford out and about in Buenos Aires, Argentina (pics start here)

Kate Bosworth and her boyfriend Michael Polish out and about at the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah (pics start here)

Khloe Kardashian arriving at LAX airport for a flight (pics start here)

Julianne Hough leaving an acting class in Studio City (pics start here)

Maria Menounos out and about at the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah (pics start here)

Kirsten Dunst arriving at LAX airport for a flight (pics start here)

*126 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Saturday, December 31, Sunday, January 1, and Monday, January 2

Jason Sudeikis and Olivia Wilde out and about in New York (pics start here)

Karissa Shannon and Kristina Shannon at Colony nightclub in L.A. (pics start here)

Stephanie Seymour in St. Barts (pics start here)

Actress Kim Lee hosting a New Year's Eve party in Destin, Florida (pics start here)

Anthony Kiedis surfing in St. Barts (pics start here)

Selena Gomez arriving for a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)

Halle Berry and her boyfriend Olivier Martinez leaving Geoffrey's in Malibu (pics start here)

Holly Madison at a New Year's Eve party at Chateau nightclub in Las Vegas (pics start here)

John Krasinski, Emily Blunt, Jimmy Kimmel, and Molly McNearney taking a surf lesson together in Kauai (pics start here)

Eva Mendes leaving her house in L.A. (pics start here)

Rihanna leaving her hotel in Miami (pics start here)

Lady Gaga leaving her hotel in Manhattan (pics start here)

Fergie hosting a New Year's Eve party at 1OAK at The Mirage in Las Vegas (pics start here)

Selma Blair and her boyfriend Jason Bleick out and about in West Hollywood (pics start here)

*134 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery: