If that ass was any bigger I'd have to split these pictures up between two posts.
Recently in Janet Jackson Category
A recently leaked song from Justin Timberlake's upcoming album apparently contains some unkind words about Janet Jackson, Timberlake's nipple-baring partner from the infamous Superbowl halftime appearance of 2005. In "Give It To Me," featuring Timbaland and Nelly Furtado, Timberlake sings:
"Could you speak up and stop mumbling?/I don't think you came in clear/When you're sitting on the top/it's hard to hear you from way up there/I saw you tryin' to act cute on TV/Just let me clear the air/We missed you on the charts last week/[Bleep] that's right, you wasn't there."
According to MSNBC "people are buzzing" that the song may be about Jackson's recent appearance on the Oprah Winfrey Show:
"Justin is totally ragging on Janet," one poster noted on LiveJournal. Blogged another: "As far as I'm concerned, Timberlake is just playing around and being 'street' like the big man he is."
You know you shouldn't publish a story when your major source is someone's rant on Livejournal (AKA the poor man's Myspace). Why not just write a story about my dad painting his house last weekend. Or about how I walked my dog around the block yesterday (I saw FOUR squirrels!).
Janet Jackson was introduced to drugs as a child, when she spotted people "putting flour up their nose" at her favorite New York party spot, Studio 54--though she admits she had no idea what they were doing at the time. She still had no clue when her brother Michael was handed a mysterious envelope of the 'flour.' She tells King magazine:
"Two kids pulled up in a red Ferrari and handed Michael and envelope. Mike opened it, and once again it was some white flour. "I said, 'What's that?' And he said, 'It's some drugs, it's stupid.' "You know those parking blocks made out of cement? I can remember Michael dumping it, pouring it down in there."
I'm so confused...what the hell is Janet talking about? Parking blocks....cement...cocaine....whaaaat? I'm no Tony Montana but I think when you get some cocaine, you're supposed to put it up your nose. Kind of like when you get a pack of condoms, you're supposed to blow them up into hilarious rib-tipped balloon animals. This story only makes sense if "Michael poured cocaine down a cement parking block" is actually a euphemism for "Michael Jackson loves to fuck kids."
Janet Jackson had her album release party last week at the new club Room Service in New York City. Accompanying Janet was photographer Larry Birkhead, Anna Nicole Smith's ex:
The entrance to the club was so packed that Jackson and crew had to enter through the adjacent strip club Tens. According to our spy, "Janet was very impressed with the moves of one stripper called Venus and wrote down her phone number, gave it to her bodyguard, who in turn gave it to Venus . . . Larry was there to take pictures, but wasn't allowed to in the strip club because of house rules."
Let's review this story again. Janet is having an album release party at this New York club. The entrance is so packed, it could pass as the gates to the album release party last week at the new club Room Service in New York City. Accompanying Janet was photographer Larry Birkhead, Anna Nicole Smith's ex:
The entrance to the club was so packed that Jackson and crew had to enter through the adjacent strip club Tens. According to our spy, "Janet was very impressed with the moves of one stripper called Venus and wrote down her phone number, gave it to her bodyguard, who in turn gave it to Venus . . . Larry was there to take pictures, but wasn't allowed to in the strip club because of house rules."
Let's review this story again. Janet is having an album release party at this New York club. The entrance is so packed, it could pass as the gates to the Saigon embassy right before we pulled out of 'Nam in 1975. How does Janet get in? Surprise! There's a place next door with a secret entrance. Oh yeah, that place also has naked women dancing about on tables. Did my head just fucking explode? Why does this type of stuff never happen to normal human beings like me? Just once I'd like to open the bathroom door at Taco Bell and find a whorehouse.
Two Vietnam references in one day? Beat that National Enquirer! Tomorrow I'll see if I can work in a little Russo-Japanese War humor.
Janet Jackson is showing off her boobs again, this time in her new music video "So Excited."
The singer, who caused a furor when she flashed a boob at the Super Bowl in 2004, appears bare-breasted in her new video for the single “So Excited.” Although nipples are never clearly visible, Jackson’s clothes disappear in a number of shots, and she quickly reaches up to cover her bare breasts. “You’d think she’d have learned from that whole [Super Bowl] debacle,” sighs a fan. “The girl just can’t help herself.”
Pretty damn ironic that a video with Janet Jackson flashing her boobs is named "So Excited." I don't know what I would have named it, although the words "vomit" and "Janet Jackson is an ugly bitch" would have definitely been in there. And possibly "liger." I freaking love those things.
