Jamie Lynn - who was 16 when she shocked the world by telling OK! in December 2007 that she was expecting a child with her 18-year-old boyfriend [Casey Aldridge] - has decided not to walk down the aisle with him.To recap, Jamie Lynn done got knocked up while still a teenager, planned a shotgun wedding, and then broke it off. This is great news for Lynne Spears. She's officially qualified to run for Vice President in 2012. Maybe she'll even give Britney a job in her administration. "Secretary of Fried Stuff" has a nice ring to it.
"The wedding’s off," a source reveals to OK!. "They are still in love, living together and very happy, but they have no plans to get married. Jamie Lynn has everything she wants and feels no need for a ring and piece of paper."
Adds another insider, "She and Casey have weathered a lot in their young relationship already and don’t need the pressure of making wedding plans." (Source)
Jamie Lynn Spears is looking at the Jessica Simpson model for career reinvention. While Britney continues on her comeback tour, sources confirm to E! News that her baby sister is hoping to become the next Nashville star.Jamie Lynn wants to be like Jessica Simpson? Good luck. There are only a handful of women in the world that can fill Jessica's
The younger Spears, who took leave of a burgeoning Hollywood career to relocate to Mississippi to raise daughter Maddie, "has been quietly working on a country album since last fall," says a source close to the family.
Although Jamie Lynn's only musical credit to date is warbling the theme song to her defunct Nickelodeon series, Zoey 101 (a tune cowritten by her more pedigreed big sister), that hasn't stopped Team Spears from "trying to get Jamie Lynn a record deal," says another insider.
The 17-year-old Spears recently recorded demo tracks in Nashville but has yet to land a label. (Source)
Despite reports that Jamie Lynn Spears' relationship with fiancé Casey Aldridge has been strained as of late, the couple is moving ahead with wedding plans, according In Touch Weekly. Specifically, Spears has chosen a Monique Lhuillier gown, ordered invitations and chosen a three-tiered chocolate cake for her big day. Spears and Aldridge's daughter, Maddie, is 7 months old; no firm date for the wedding has been set. (Source)A Monique Lhuillier gown and a three-tiered chocolate cake? What the article fails to mention is that the cake comes topped with coons' tails and Jamie Lynn's gown will have Coors Light cans dragging behind it. Also, all the invitations will be written in crayon on Walmart receipts, the reception will be BYOM (Bring Your Own Mullet), the guest with the biggest wad of chew will win a date with his/her sibling, and instead of throwing rice, guests will be encouraged to throw their teeth.
Jamie Lynn Spears never got lipoed
Jamie Lynn Spears is angry with Star magazine for claiming she had liposuction while pregnant. According to TMZ, she's thinking about suing:
Sources tell TMZ Jamie Lynn Spears is swelling up with anger over one gossip mag's claims she had lipo while pregnant -- so much so that she may take legal action. We're told the story is "100% NOT true" -- that Jamie Lynn has never had lipo and would "never in her life" do anything like it. Calls to Jamie Lynn's publicist have not been returned. (Source)
Wow, it's not often that a piece of news shocks me, but I'm legitimately stunned right now. In my wildest dreams, I never saw this coming. Jamie Lynn Spears still has a publicist. Unbelievable.
Lynne, Maddie, and Jamie Lynn Spears in McComb, Mississippi (10/22)
*cue banjo* Star magazine is claiming that Jamie Lynn Spears had liposuction while she was pregnant and now she fears she may have caused long term harm to her daughter Maddie. *cue spoons* Apparently Jamie Lynn didn't realize she was pregnant at the time the procedure was performed. *cue cider jug* A source told Star:
"She didn't know she was pregnant when she filled out the health questionnaire prior to the procedure. Her mom approved the injections and went through tons of red tape to get the clinic to administer them to an underage patient." (Source)
Jesus Christ, could Lynne Spears be any worse of a mother? I mean, it's really not that hard to be a good parent. Step 1: Cover all the outlets until you kid turns 8. Step 2: When she turns 16, don't let that fatty get liposuction. Congratulations, you're now 100 times the parent Lynne Spears is.
Britney Spears and family at Kliebert's Turtle & Alligator Farm in Hammond, Louisiana (11/11)
Quick, what's the first thing that comes to mind when you think of the words "Britney Spears" and "alligator farm"? Accidental death? Severe injury? Horrible disfigurement? Well surprisingly, Britney and the clan took a trip to a Louisiana alligator farm yesterday and none of those things happened. Sure there were some close calls, but Britney didn't drop Jayden into the gator pit once. Not once! Go Britney! "Parent of the Year award here I done come!"
Jamie Lynn Spears with her friend Diane at Wal-Mart in McComb, MS (10/11)
After posting a story about a family insider "confirming" Jamie Lynn Spears' second pregnancy, "Diane" -- the friend pictured with Jamie Lynn at Wal-Mart last week -- commented on the story. Diane claims that Jamie Lynn is not pregnant with her second child:
I am the friend with Jamie in these pictures and I was also the friend in the pictures that said we were leaving the crisis pregnancy center several months ago (Ed. Note: the pics she's referring to are here) (when in all actuality we were leaving her OB-GYN who happens to have a sign in front of the office supporting the crisis pregnancy center). Jamie Lynn is NOT pregnant and I wish everyone would stop being so judgemental because if you weren't having sex at 16 it probabaly means you were very unattractive. She just happened to get pregnant and then did the right thing by not having an abortion. She is an exceptional mother and she loves that baby with every fiber of her being. As the paprazzi chased us through the store as we humbly tried to buy groceries for our families, she was not one bit worried about them getting pictures of her or what anyone would say about her, but she did not want them to exploit her child anymore than they already have. This girl has been through enough. Please show a little compassion and back off. There was nothing exciting about our trip to wal mart, yet we were followed the entire time by 3 photographers. Stop supporting these idiots and make them get real jobs. Before you judge anyone else, I beg you to please try to imagine yourself in their situation.
Nice. This just shows you the fucked-up mindset of Jamie Lynn and her friends. To recap: If you didn't have sex when you were 16, it's because you were ugly. Nevermind that many people choose not to have sex at that age. Take me for example. I made a conscience and mature decision not to have sex until OK I HAD ACNE. I HAD HORRIBLE ACNE. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
I know what you're thinking: "Nick, you have such a hot body" "anyone can leave a comment, how do you know it's really Jamie Lynn's friend?" Well after Diane left the comment, I emailed her and we went back and forth for a few days.
DIANE: Look I am the very first person she told that she was pregnant I actually found the positive pregnancy test she took at my house a few days ago and threw it away. Don't you think if I was trying to make a quick buck I would have already. I feel like since my picture is going up on websites and people want me to talk and they pay celebrities for the exact same thing I refuse to be treated unfairly
ME: Wait a minute, you found the test from Jamie Lynn's first pregnancy a few days ago? Now I know I'm not the foremost authority on girly-type stuff, but a urine-soaked pregnancy test strikes me as the type of thing you'd immediately throw in the trash. That's just plain gross.
DIANE: No in October of last year is when she took her pregnancy test and I told her to get it out of my house. She was so scared someone would find it she hid it in my bathroom. I swear to you she is not pregnant now and if she was she would be able to take the test at her own house now but she couldn't when she was living with her parents. What do you want me to say?
ME: I just want some insight on Jamie Lynn. How does she feel about Casey cheating on her?
DIANE: Well he didn't first off. And what exactly do you want me to do you want to release a story on your website saying Jamie's friend speaks or what? I don't know
ME: I like that title. Can I use it? Any more insider info on Jamie Lynn you can provide would be most helpful. What's her favorite color? Favorite movie? Guilty pleasure? I'll start: 1. Red, 2. Die Hard, 3. Milk Duds in my popcorn (I am SO bad!)
And the conversation kinda went downhill from there. When I told Diane I was going to post the conversation we had, she told her mom on me. Seriously. But fear not Diane's mom, I will not be posting the entire conversation I had with your daughter. Especially not her response to the very first email I sent where she said she wouldn't say anything unless she was paid. I wouldn't want Jamie Lynn to find out her friends are trying to cash in.
UPDATE (10/23): E! ran this story last night on The Daily Ten with no mention of Celebslam. Thanks E! but next time bring cigarettes. I love a nice, relaxing smoke after I get fucked.
Watch for falling prices Jamie Lynn!
Despite the denials, an anonymous member of the Spears family confirmed to the National Enquirer that Jamie Lynn Spears (above shopping at Wal-Mart on Saturday) is pregnant for a second time. The denials are allegedly being used by the Spears family to buy them some time until they decide what to do (hint: A-B-O-R-T-I-O-N). The anonymous family member told the mag:
"Jamie Lynn's mom is furious about the pregnancy. And she's livid the news leaked out, especially during her book tour. Lynne doesn't want to talk about it publicly until they sort this out. Jamie Lynn is being pressured by people very close to her to abort. But no decision has been made yet. Casey is furious. Jamie Lynn hadn't told him about the pregnancy. He learned about it in the media and then confronted her and she told him it was true. Lynne and Jamie Lynn have been arguing nonstop by phone." (Source)
Well, now it's official -- the Spears girls hate them some condoms. No Jamie Lynn, that box of Trojans I mailed you was not for making water balloons to throw at your neighbors. I know you're angry at them for raiding your still, but at least they left you enough moonshine to get through the winter. Since Casey and Jamie Lynn have been broken up for a month now, I'm assuming this is an immaculate conception. Two presents for momma's day, ya'll!
NOTE TO SELF: Sell Trojan stock options and invest in wire coat hangers.
