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Incredibly, singer James Blunt banged yet another model over the weekend. The New York Post says:
At bikini designer Diana Jenkins' birthday bash in Malibu Saturday night, Blunt was seen sneaking out with German mannequin Tatiana Patitz. After singing a duet of "Summer Lovin' " with ex-fling Paris Hilton, Blunt - who dated Petra Nemcova and was also linked to Mischa Barton, Mika Simmons and Lindsay Lohan - tiptoed out with Patitz, sadly missing Eric McCormack's riveting rendition of "Jesse's Girl." (Source)
I know Blunt has a hit album but, c'mon, shouldn't his ugliness trump that? Dude looks like he should be scaring off crows all day not banging supermodels. Wait a minute, I get it--his penis must taste like candy. Mine? Regret
Looks like James Blunt has moved on from ex-girlfriend Petra Nemcova and is now banging Paris Hilton. The two were seen messing around at L.A. hot spot Teddy's on Wednesday night. A source told the New York Post that Hilton and Blunt were holding hands and dancing with each other before they started to make out. Hilton and Blunt were previously linked in November last year though Hilton claimed she was just "good friends" with the one-hit-wonder. Another source revealed to the New York Daily News:
"[Paris and James] were all over each other. They both ended up back at Paris' house." (Source)
This pretty much confirms that looks are a non issue to Paris Hilton. I heard she once fucked a water heater because someone spilled a bottle of cologne on it. God I hate her.
Looks like supermodel Petra Nemcova and below-average-looking-even-if-you- only-compare-him-to-other-bad-looking-guys singer James Blunt have finally split up. Though breakup rumors seem to pop up every few months for these two, the separation looks legit this time. According to a source "very close to Blunt":
"They split in February. It's very amicable. They remain good friends." (Source)
And who's moving in on the now single Blunt? None other than Lindsay Lohan:
The unlikely pair were recently spotted together on three occasions in L.A.: At Teddy's Wednesday night, then Lohan's place very late Wednesday night and early Thursday morning, and finally the singer's hotel room around 3 a.m. Saturday morning. (Source)
If being connected to every famous dude in Hollywood was some sort of pro sport, Lindsay would be an all star. She's like the Hank Aaron of blowing famous dudes.
How this story made this New York Post is beyond me but since I love making fun of James Blunt I'll write about it. Supermodel/tsunami survivor Petra Nemcova is a changed woman--or at least her hair is. During a party in New York celebrating Ray Ban's "Hide Away" campaign, the model was overheard talking about the transition her hair has undergone since dating the one-hit-wonder:
"When he met me, I was platinum blond, and then I changed to dark hair. The first time he saw me with my new hair he said, 'Wow! I was dating Barbarella, and now I'm dating a Bond girl!' " (Source)
Before leaving the party with Blunt, Nemcova was rumored [by me!] to have mouthed the words "Get me out of here" to one of the partygoers before handing him a note that read "PLEASE SAVE ME FROM THIS FREAK - HE'S THREATENED MY FAMILY." And the message was spelled entirely of letters cut out from magazines and bonded to a sheet of paper with fresh tears. Hang in there Petra, you're next on my list of supermodels to rescue from bad relationships. 3 for 4 so far (and that's if you count only getting to third base with Allesandra Ambrosio a "miss").
Despite what I wrote last month about them splitting up, Petra Nemcova and James Blunt are still dating. The two were seen hand-in-hand at L.A. hotspot Hyde last week. Nemcova, 27, also told People Magazine that her and Blunt are "very much in love."
Rumors circulated recently that they'd split - with some even speculating that Nemcova had hooked up with hip-hop mogul and fellow activist Russell Simmons. But Nemcova says, "We never got separated. There was some stuff going on in the press, but it didn't come from a right source - obviously."
Since her boyfriend was unceremoniously swept to sea a little over a year ago, Petra Nemcova has dated a guy most famous for inspiring the character 'Splinter' from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (James Blunt), and has been linked to a guy that's basically a taller non-bankrupt version of Gary Coleman (Russell Simmons). Either personality can really trump looks or Petra Nemcova has been sniffing glue for the past few years.
The night before she went clubbin' with Britney Spears, Paris Hilton was out with James Blunt until the "wee hours" of the morning. Though Paris calls James a "great guy" and claims they are "just good friends," methinks there's some whorish treachery afoot. Which is a little weird considering how James Blunt looks. If this guy wasn't almost famous, he would probably be serving a 30 day sentence for vagrancy. Paris is probably whispering to him "if you ever clean my windshield with a dirty newspaper again, so help me God, I will cut out your lower intestines and feed them to a pack of hungry buzzards....now, unzip your pants so I can pay you."
Model Petra Nemcova has reportedly broken up with James Blunt after he cheated on her with a string of girls, including Australian TV presenter has reportedly broken up with James Blunt after he cheated on her with a string of girls, including Australian TV presenter Tania Zaetta.
A source told Britain's Mail on Sunday newspaper: "Rumours got back to Petra that James had been partying with loads of gorgeous girls in Ibiza over the summer. They had a huge row during London Fashion Week last month and now it is all over."According to close friends, the singer is desperate to work things out with Petra, but the 27-year-old model is unsure whether she can trust him again. The source added: "She's agreed to meet him a couple of times to try to work things out but it isn't looking good."
What has become of the world? I used to routinely beat up spindly fellows like James Blunt in high school—now he's cheating on supermodels while I'm languishing at my desk-job wondering if a pen to the neck would hurt more than a pencil. I understand the thing about musicians and women but I've had a few hits*, too, and I don't pull nearly the ass he does. Will someone please pour me a glass of bleach...
*actually they were videos of me singing in my underwear that I posted on YouTube—they got over 50 hits each--kickass!
