Jake Gyllenhaal at the Coachella Music and Arts Festival in Indio, CA (4/18)
Jake, you know how you were walking around the Coachella Music Festival on Saturday trying to look cool. Perhaps you were thinking to yourself, "I'm Jake Fucking Gyllenhaal . . . I'm not letting
Reese stick up for me again like she did 20 minutes ago back at the lemonade stand when that mean guy called me a fag and started laughing at me. Because I'm Jake Fucking Gyllenhaal." I hate to break this to you dude, but your fly was down. That's why everyone was laughing at you. Well that and because you missed The Killers' entire set because you were in the parking lot hiding on top of your car from a spider.
Is Reese Witherspoon pregnant?Flynet is officially kicking off the Reese Witherspoon baby rumors. They say:
Actress Reese Witherspoon looks pregnant while out shopping in Santa Monica, CA [on Sunday] . . . she has been shacking up with actor Jake Gyllenhaal for about a year now and rumors of a wedding and baby are starting to swirl
No freaking way. The only way Jake Gyllenhaal would or could ever impregnate Reese is if he ran out of the shower screaming because he saw a spider and then accidentally tripped and his penis fell into her.
Jake Gyllenhaal leaving Scott's restaurant in London (12/8)
+ Marisa Tomei is naked (NSFW) [Drunken Stepfather]
+ A-Rod is a traitor [Lossip]
+ Jessica Biel is Topless in Powder Blue Trailer [Egotastic!]
+ Peaches Geldorf pierced nip slip (NSFW) [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Gilmara Jung has a nice butt [NewsToob]
+ I'm in love with Kelly Brook [Holy Taco]
+ Hottest MILF ever? [Double Viking]
+ This guy is such a freak [ICYDK]
+ Beyonce showing off her stems [F-Listed]
Jake Gyllenhaal leaving a medical center in Beverly Hills (3/18)
Jake Gyllenhaal threw a fit yesterday on the set of his movie Nailed. Because of the tantrum, the cast and crew had to spend an additional day filming at the South Carolina State House. A source on the set told FITSNews:
“He was complaining that the room was too small, complaining about the temperature, complaining about his chair. It was like watching a two-year old have a meltdown every five minutes.” (Source)
In Jake's defense, the local salon was "like totally out of product". How's a guy like Jake supposed to keep a cheerful attitude without his root moisturizer? He should be given a medal for even showing up.
[ONTD, WENN]
Kirsten Dunst at a liquor store in L.A. (11/2005)
You know how Kirsten Dunst checked herself into rehab a few weeks ago? Apparently it's all Jake "Sweeter than Sugar" Gyllenhaal's fault. The couple's breakup in 2005 sent her over the edge. Us Weekly says:
Multiple sources told Us that regret over the breakup led her to party more – and use cocaine and alcohol."Whenever the cast and crew were out, she was the center of the group – doing shots and encouraging everyone to drink," a source on her upcoming movie How to Lose Friends & Alienate People told Us. "There was no such thing as 'just the one' for her." (Source)
To be fair to Kirsten, you'd drink heavily too if you couldn't relax at a tailgate party. "Ah shit we forgot the bottle opener again . . . Kirsten? Anyone seen Kirsten?"
Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon in Rome
Confirming months of speculation about the two dating, Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon were spotted holding hands in Rome earlier this week. Of course Reese is freshly divorced from actor Ryan Phillippe and Jake, well who knows what's up with that dude. On some days I get the feeling he's kinda gay but on others I can't help but think he's really fucking gay. As for a catchy celebrity couple nickname, I'm a bit partial to "WitherHomo."
When asked by a local reporter about the relationship, Jake jumped up on a nearby couch and shrieked, "Eww, ewww, there's a spider, step on it!"
According to an excited anonymous tipster, Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal may be Hollywood's newest couple. She wrote to the Flynet Photography Agency:
I was eating dinner with a girlfriend at a restaurant called The Clay Pit in Brentwood on Friday night (March 30). I was sitting close to the front and I saw a Toyota Camry pull up outside driven by a male and he dropped off a female into the restaurant. Then to my surprise, in comes little Reese Witherspon looking totally cute.She picked up some food for takeout and while she was doing that, I stared at the person in the Camry. I recognized instantly that it was Jake Gyllenhal! When she came back out to the car, he got out and opened the door for her and was shielding his face so that no one would see him but it was definitely him!!! I couldn't believe it! I knew you said that they were dating but now I know for sure that they are!!!! Yipee!!!
So by my count that's 12 exclamation points used in an anonymous tip about seeing Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon out and about. WTF? If you have a story that doesn't involve giving birth to the ghost of Abe Lincoln or witnessing a woman giving birth to the ghost of Abe Lincoln, you are forbidden from ever using 12 exclamation points in any form of correspondence. Except sky writing.
NOTE: Reese and Jake's full names are a combined 54 points in Scrabble. You probably already knew that. Nerd.
