Jack Nicholson in St. Bart's today
I really can't talk shit about Jack because I admire his "work". It takes a certain skill to plug as many famous chicks as he has over the years. With that in mind, I'll just say he's looking fat heavy overweight pudgy chunky tubby ponderous husky massive rotund obese portly . . . alive . . . really, really alive.
[Splash News]
By DReaD
Demi Moore used to be one of the world’s most desired women and this was demonstrated when she became the first actress to make $10 million a movie. Moore became so powerful in the movie industry that she was able to make re-writes to movies she appeared in. Her infamous howl of “suck my dick” in “GI Jane” actually read “excuse me sergeant, have you seen my hair curlers?” in the original screenplay.
For “Striptease” Moore was given $12 million. The film shows off two of the most famous plastic tits in Hollywood, Burt Reynolds and Armand Assante. These men still believe nothing says macho more than a hairy chest, a gold medallion and the ability to melt their faces in front of hot studio lights.
oore paid a film crew to film the birth of her daughter, Rumer Willis. After seeing the baby, the director immediately offered a refund.
Talking about famous plastic tits, Dolly Parton is sitting on a goldmine. The petite singer is worth somewhere in the region of $220 million. Being a loveable, beautiful and intelligent woman with a huge pair of breasts fortune means Dolly is the target of many unwanted suitors, but none of them have hands big enough for her huge pair of breasts liking.
Dolly was actually born in 1946 but has not let age wither her glamorous style. Her wigs, false eyelashes, heavy make-up and cosmetic surgery help give her that natural look cowboys like, although it would be cheaper for her to give them all a six-pack of Bud each and then knock herself out.
Dolly has often claimed her hefty chest is all “bought and paid for”, at a cost of just $3,000. But in those early days of cosmetic surgery, doctors didn’t use saline implants, they used sides of beef.
George Clooney is a rich man. The UN peace envoy was paid a rumored $28 million just to make three lousy Batman films, fortunately he only managed to make one lousy Batman film. When asked about what his role as UN peace envoy entails he said something about getting to bang foxy chicks from under-developed countries who normally would not get a chance with a movie star. What a trooper.
UN peace envoy Clooney is known for his philanthropic ways and his love for nature. He has even been known to return or reject salaries that are too high. His reason being, once you get to $100 million, that’s enough for him and his friends to play “Virtual Monopoly” with real money… and real houses… and real cannons.
UN peace envoy Clooney made an appearance in the film “Return of the Killer Tomatoes”. His fee? A family sized bag of chips, a slightly used electric shaver and the chance to tap the director’s “personal assistant”.
One of the greatest actors, Jack Nicholson, is also a great negotiator; he pulled of a deal worth $60 million just to play the Joker in “Batman”. He did this by entering the producer’s office by smashing his head through the door and reprising his role as Jack from “The Shining”. The poor, innocent Hollywood producer was so scared he offered Nicholson anything. Nicholson accepted the producer’s percentage deal, his new Ferrari, his coke stash, his wife and his 20 year old girlfriend.
The amount of Jack’s wealth is something of legend. The exact figure is cloudy, like his urine after a night out with close friend Roman Polanski, but figures of around $700 million have been mentioned. This is enough to get him into George Lucas’ high-stakes poker games, where cars, houses and even midgets have swapped hands.
Jack is a big fan of a group of men and women who are the absolute epitome of acting and demonstrate skills at the highest echelons of theatrics… the WWE.
Jack Nicholson vacationing in France (7/7/07)
Jack Nicholson admits that he was so promiscuous when he was younger that he may have fathered thousands of children. The actor told The Sun (UK):
"There could be 9,000 for all I know – I used to live so freely." Jack, 70 – whose exes include actress Anjelica Houston – admits calming down with age. He said: "You can't get too wild these days but I'm as wild as you can get." (Source)
What's the big deal with fathering 9,000 children? If you count "knuckle children," I've fathered millions! Oh and the next time you watch the movie Batman, think about this particular line he said as the Joker, "Wait'll they get a load FROM me!"
UPDATE: Wilt Chamberlain just called Jack and told him he was a pussy.
Jack Nicholson at the LA Lakers game (11/29)
Since you've been on your best behavior all week, I thought I'd give you ladies a little treat today *wink*
Jack Nicholson
70-years-old and still entertaining five ladies at a time in between bites of his hoagie. Jack Nicholson is my new God.
A few more of Jack Nicholson vacation in the South of France after the jump...
Jack Nicholson
Jack Nicholson used what can best be described as an "interesting prop" during a scene in the upcoming movie "The Departed"—although director Martin Scorsese cut it out of the final version:
We told you back when they were shooting here that Jack had taken it upon himself to spice up his scene with two hookers by adding brutality, a mountain of coke and a rubbery, brown appendage. Scorsese told us at Tuesday's premiere that he wasn't shocked by Nicholson's suggestions, because "this sort of sexuality was part of his lifestyle." Mind you, he was talking about Jack's character, Boston mob boss Frank Costello. Scorsese ended up whacking the prosthesis from the hooker scene. But it survives in an episode where Nicholson flashes Matt Damon's character in an adult theater.What's more, Nicholson told us, "I'm planning to market a line of them on the Internet - in Day-Glo colors!"
Nothing screams "I am a man who truly understands women's wants and desires" like a 12-inch cut it out of the final version:
We told you back when they were shooting here that Jack had taken it upon himself to spice up his scene with two hookers by adding brutality, a mountain of coke and a rubbery, brown appendage. Scorsese told us at Tuesday's premiere that he wasn't shocked by Nicholson's suggestions, because "this sort of sexuality was part of his lifestyle." Mind you, he was talking about Jack's character, Boston mob boss Frank Costello. Scorsese ended up whacking the prosthesis from the hooker scene. But it survives in an episode where Nicholson flashes Matt Damon's character in an adult theater.What's more, Nicholson told us, "I'm planning to market a line of them on the Internet - in Day-Glo colors!"
Nothing screams "I am a man who truly understands women's wants and desires" like a 12-inch hot pink dildo. If only it dispensed chocolate ice-cream and played Grey's Anatomy repeats--I'd have to beat the ladies off with a stick. We can put a man on the moon but we can't make a Swiss-Army dildo? I say rubbish to that sir!
[WENN]
