Linda Hogan and Charley Hill at the Palms Hotel in Las Vegas (5/31)
Apparently the $40k in alimony Linda Hogan is getting from estranged husband Hulk Hogan just isn't enough. She wants a Pinellas County, Fla., judge to the increase the amount of the temporary payments she's receiving (the couple's divorce isn't final yet). Why? So she can send her 19-year-old boyfriend to school of course. Obviously. From TMZ:
Recession or not, it's extremely hard to balance a budget on $40,000 a month. That's why Linda Hogan needs more. Oh did we mention -- she wants Hulk to foot the bill for her 19-year-old boyfriend's nautical tuition?Charley Hill wants to go to sea school, and Linda wants Hulk to pay for what could be the next Captain & Tennille. Getting back to why $40,000 isn't enough, Linda blew $14 grand at a Bev Hills Doctor's office this week. Hulk says it's for cosmetic surgery. (Source)
You have to empathize with Linda. How is she possibly supposed to live on $40,000 a month? Her hair dye, spray on tan, and saline replacements alone cost more than that. The silver lining is that Charley doesn't need to pay to go to nautical school. If he wants to learn about sea life, he just needs to put his head between Linda's legs. There he'll find crabs, a clam, and the distinct smell of fish.
[WENN]
What all my nightmares look like put together
I'm not sure who thought this was a good idea (someone on a powerful new kind of acid perhaps?) but Brooke Hogan performed at Mansion nightclub in Miami over the weekend . . . in skimpy "big girls section at Wal-Mart" lingerie. And, yep, her dad was there. From UK tabloid The Sun:
The reality star - daughter of wrestling legend Hulk Hogan - made an appearance at Mansion nightclub in Miami over the weekend for the premiere of her new TV show Brooke Knows Best, performing with all-girl back-up band The Knockouts.Wearing a burlesque-style outfit, Brooke didn't leave much to the imagination as her dad looked on from the VIP area alongside new girlfriend Jennifer McDaniel. (Source)
You know what's even creepier than Brooke's dad being there? After the performance, Brooke tossed her garter belt into the crowd. From his seat in the VIP area, Hulk used a fishing net attached to the end of a 20-foot pole to catch it. And then he had her autograph it.
NOTE: Check out video of Brooke's performance on PAGE 2 (CLICK HERE)
The unbuttoned pants were the Hulk's idea
Hulk Hogan showed up to his daughter Brooke's Maxim photoshoot in April to "supervise." For some odd reason, Brooke is featured in the July issue of the magazine. Fox News "Pop Tarts" says:
An insider told Pop Tarts that Hulk's appearance was a surprise to those on the set, and that he came to supervise and ensure his baby girl didn't flash too much flesh. But judging by the super-sexy outcome, we don't know how pleased daddy will be. (Source)
The Hulk wanted to make sure Brooke didn't flash too much flesh? Sorry but that's what a normal dad would do. Hulk's not a normal dad. He probably showed up to set with pop corn, binoculars, and a naughty schoolgirl outfit he "happened to find" on his way over. "But Hulk," the photographer most likely said, "there's an inscription on the tag that reads 'Happy Birthday Brooke, Love Dad, 5-5-2008.' "
Brooke puts the "Ho" in Hogan
Even though pretty much everybody has forgotten about them, Brooke Hogan wisely talked to Us Weekly about those creepy photos taken in April of her dad applying lotion to her ass. She told the mag:
"I know I'm a grown woman, but it's like he's touching an old car. He used to change my diaper!" (Source)
Brooke doesn't get it. It's not that the Hulkster's applying lotion to her ass, it's that he's wayyyyyyy to into it. My God, look at that concentration, that focus! You'd think he was using tweezers to construct one of those model ships in a bottle.
Blame the victim
TMZ got ahold of another jailhouse phone call from Nick Hogan, this time with his dad. Unlike Nick's last phone call, there's little crying and a lot of victim blaming. TMZ summarizes:
While crash victim John Graziano lies in a permanent vegetative state in a hospital with a hole in his head, Hulk Hogan says that God laid some "heavy s**t"on him because of things that he was "into." Nick agrees, saying John was a "negative person."
I agree with the Hulk. John Graziano ended up a vegetable, destined to spend the rest of his life in a hospital bed, because of something he was "into" -- namely Nick's car! Blaming John for that horrible auto accident is like me blaming my condom for Alessandra Ambrosio's pregnancy. Because in the end, it wasn't faulty rubber that caused both her and Nick's car to end up wrapped around a pole . . . it was heavy drinking.
NOTE: You can listen to the tape HERE
I guess it's better than one of those beer helmets
Quick: Your son just plead guilty to felony reckless driving and his sentence is at the sole discretion of the judge. What do you wear to his court appearance? . . . I bet you didn't say bandana. That's because you're not as cool as Hulk Hogan. TMZ asked a court public information officer why Hulk was allowed to wear a bandana to his son Nick's jailtimeariffic court appearance last Friday:
"It would have caused a big scene to have him take it off. Technically he shouldn't have been allowed to wear it. But normally bailiffs do those things when people are coming in, and there was just so much going on that it wasn't noticed in time." (Source)
Now that I think about it, it's probably a good thing Hulk didn't take off his bandana. The top of his head has got to be as worn and leathery as Seabiscuit's saddle*. If i wanted to see that much skin where hair used to be I'd rent a Jenna Jameson film.
*a.k.a. Janice Dickinson's legs.
Brooke Hogan and Jennifer McDaniel in L.A. (4/28)
Brooke Hogan came face to face with her dad's look-a-like girlfriend Jennifer McDaniel yesterday in L.A. That's Brooke on the right . . . or is that her on the left? Dude, I don't even know. These bitches need to wear name tags or something. Look below, even the Hulkster's confused . . . please tell me he's confused . . . please tell me he's not knowingly lotioning up his daughter's ass . . . awww fuck, he is. And he's wayyyyyy too in to it. I don't know how big Hulkster's spank bank is (mine goes back to 5th grade) but I guarantee you it's full now.
NOTE: I'm sure if you could see Joe Simpson right now, he'd be furiously scribbling notes. "Note to self: install pool."
Hulk Hogan and girlfriend Jennifer McDaniel in Miami Beach (4/2)
Oh man that water must feel sooooo good . . . especially for someone that's been living on the sun for the past six months. He's been living on the sun for the past six months, right?
UPDATE: The NAACP just gave Hulk and honorary lifetime membership
Hulk Hogan and his new girlfriend leaving Foxtail restaurant in Hollywood (3/27)
Hulk Hogan and his new girlfriend Jennifer McDaniel hit L.A. yesterday. I know some of you may think it's weird that he's dating a woman who bears a striking resemblance to his daughter Brooke but, in Hulk's defense, he does think his daughter is a total piece of ass. So it's not really that weird at all.
The two at LAX yesterday:
