She must see a math problem
Hugh Hefner's soon to minus one girlfriend. The Playboy patriarch's youngest girlfriend, 23-year-old Kendra Wilkinson, is reportedly moving out of the mansion after the fifth season of her E! reality show Girls Next Door wraps filming later this year. An insider told In Touch Weekly:
"Kendra Wilkinson has been offered her own reality show about starting her life over again when she moves out of the Playboy Mansion. Hugh Hefner knows her time is coming."
Why exactly is Kendra leaving? She has it good at Hef's place. Fame, fortune, and a boyfriend whose balls are only slightly less wrinkly than his face. Now that Kendra's moving out, there's only one profession that she's qualified for: hooker stripper 49er. She's been gold digging for so long, it'd be the perfect fit. Also a perfect fit for Kendra: a grain silo.
Dasha Astafieva
Playboy mogul Hugh Hefner has supposedly fallen for a Ukranian model, holding hands with her, sitting in on her photos shoots -- and his three girlfriends are pissed. Dasha Astafieva first caught Hefner's eye after being invited to the Playboy Mansion in a search for a cover model for the New Year's issue. A source told the National Enquirer:
"Dasha's natural endowments and beauty stunned Hef. Dasha has upset the pecking order by pushing her way into Hef's heart. The competition for his attention is really intense among the girls because of her." (Source)
If Hef is stunned by Dasha's "natural endowments," her body must be smoking -- especially since the guy's seen more ass than a proctologist and Nick Hogan's cellmate combined! Maybe Hef's infatuation with Dasha marks a nationwide trend away from plastic Barbie wannabes like his current trio of girlfriends, and towards all-natural women. Or maybe it just means the warranty on their tits is almost up.
[WENN]
Hugh Hefner banged his sister-in-law
With dudes. And his sister-in-law. Author Steven Watts makes the claims -- which Henfer calls "essentially true" -- in his upcoming book Mr. Playboy: Hugh Hefner and the American Dream. Excerpts courtesy of the New York Post:
Hef went further, trying a foursome out on his own family. "It did happen with his brother, Keith, and his wife, Rae, one evening," Watts writes. "[But] while [Hefner's first wife] Millie ultimately backed out of having sex with Keith, Hugh slept with his sister-in-law."The book also claims Hef once tried a gay tryst. "Hefner's thirst for sexual experience became so strong that he even had a one-time homosexual experience," Watts writes. "One evening in downtown Chicago he was propositioned and, according to Sellers, he 'thought, what the hell. Found it an interesting experience. As far as I know, the guy just gave him [oral sex].' "
Hefner also once shot a porno starring himself called "After the Masquerade." Watts writes: "It was shot at a friend's apartment where Hefner and a female acquaintance had sex while wearing masks."
Hefner told Page Six he cooperated with Watts and gave him access to his personal papers. "This is the most authoritative book ever written about me . . . It's all essentially true," he said. (Source)
The wife-swapping I can believe. Same with the homemade porno. But a homosexual encounter with a stranger? That's too much. Although it would explain why the guy has overcompensated with thousands of floozies over the years. It's like he has an obsessive-compulsive disorder, except instead of constantly washing his hands to get rid of imaginary dirt, he bangs bimbos to get rid of imaginary fecal matter.
[Pacific Coast News]
Hugh Hefner and Holly Madison
Hugh Hefner's girlfriend, Holly Madison, just got a promotion at Playboy and is now the magazine's junior photo editor which is totally not a job Hugh made up to keep her busy. She told the New York Post:
"I think readers are sick of seeing the same cookie-cutter blondes. I'm looking for natural bodies. I pay attention to what readers write in - and they do like to see diversity." (Source)
Holly's right! Who wants to see perfect ten blondes with size zero waists and tits out to their chin? Certainly not this guy. Hairy arm pits, crooked teeth, and bad skin, I dig the natural look! But seriously, if I wanted women in my smut magazines to look more plain/average/attainable, I'd subscribe to National Geographic . . . those rainforest sluts barely wear anything and seem sooooo approachable.
Playboy millionaire Hugh Hefner claims sometimes he'd rather
sit down and play a spirited game of dominoes rather than have sex with his smoking-hot girlfriends.
He said: "I'm bored of the hanky panky. I'm still active but it's different — I like to play dominoes with my girlfriends." Asked about his infamous wild nights at the Playboy mansion, he said: "I haven't been to as many parties because I'm doing other things that are taking up my energy. I'm busy planning the new Playboy club at The Palms, a new Playboy club in LA."
I would love the play dominoes with Hugh's girlfriends. I would absolutely crush them, much like those checker-playing cancer victims I mentioned earlier today. And when the playmates asked why they were naked and my penis was out, I would laugh at their inability to grasp the basic rules of dominoes.
