Hugh Hefner

Hugh Hefner and the Shannon twins outside Kress nightclub in West Hollywood (10/2/2009)

Hugh Hefner dumped his skanky twin girlfriends, Karissa and Kristina Shannon. Poor guy only has one girlfriend left. How's an 83-year-old man supposed to manage? A source told OK!:

"You have to consider that these girls are only 20 years old. The twins were there for the ride. They just care about themselves."

Hefner said he initially suggested the move, which is expected to be within the next couple of weeks, and that Kristina and Karissa will now be “friends” as opposed to having the official title of "girlfriends." One of the reasons — and possibly a clear indicator — for the twins’ departure from the famous Holmby Hills home was their relationship to the 83-year-old nudie magazine mogul.

According to the source, “it was not a secret the twins were sleeping around” while living under Hef’s roof.

I knew this relationship was doomed to fail once the twins got their learner's permits. I've found that once a girl can legally drive, she just gets all independent on you. *sigh*

Kimberly Conrad. Ugh.

One more person not to fuck with: Hugh Hefner. Fuck with him and you'll find your ass flying Southwest. From Janet Charlton's Hollywood:

Another reminder that the world of Playboy isn’t what it used to be.Hugh Hefner is finally in the process of divorcing his wife Kimberley Conrad (they’ve been separated for ten years.) It all started when Hugh gave Kimberly nine months to move out of the mansion next door to his so he could sell it. She sued him for half the price of the house and he filed for divorce. He’s been supporting the former Playmate in high style all these years but that’s apparently over. Kimberley was seen flying alone in COACH class on Southwest Airlines from Reno to LAX, where she had to collect and schlep her own luggage. No more private jets or bodyguards. She did not look happy- or glamorous- according to another passenger, she kept a knit cap pulled down and wore a bulky coat.

She was flying "Coach Class"? I wasn't aware there were any other classes on that airline. As far as I know, the only other seats available on a Southwest flight are in the cockpit and lavatory. Kimberly shouldn't feel too bad though. Everyone's having to cut back on their spending these days. Besides, things could be a lot worse for her -- she could still be sleeping with Hef.

Hugh Hefner is 83

Hugh Hefner celebrated his 83rd birthday at the Palms in Vegas on Saturday night at it was pretty much the most awkward thing ever. Honestly, the only time a man that old should be touching a woman that young is if his first name is "Doctor."

Hugh Hefner has a nice house

Hugh Hefner's 7,300+ square foot mansion in the L.A. neighborhood of Holmby Hills (it's right next door to the Playboy Mansion). It's on sale for $27.9 million.

Holly Madison and the douche

Holly Madison is severing all ties with Playboy. She recently quit her job at the magazine to spend more time in Las Vegas with her boyfriend Criss "Douche" Angel. From TMZ:

We're told the former Hugh Hefner hanger-on resigned her position as Playmate editor (whatever that means) for Playboy magazine -- all because she wants to spend more time in Las Vegas with the world's lamest illusionist. Our sources say she's been nonexistent at the Playboy workplace for awhile now. (Source)

What a blow to the magazine. One can only hope Hef finds someone soon to fill Holly's role of showing up occasionally and asking dumb questions. "Why are cameras called cameras?"

Kendra Wilkinson leaving Fabrocini's restaurant in Bel Air (11/10)

You may want to be sitting down for this shocking news: Kendra Wilkinson cheated on Hugh Hefner. She told Us Weekly:

"I had to have sex every now and then, so I had to kind of sneak it. Besides the nights we went out, I only saw Hef, like, once a day walking through the halls to his office. There were never solo dates. The most we kind of say to each other is, 'I love you,' 'Love you too,' 'I hope you have a good day,' 'Did you have a good day?' Bridget [Marquardt] told me that she's been faithful all these years, and I was like, 'How the hell can you do that?' I had to have [sex] so I could feel my age,like a healthy human being." (Source)

That two-timing bitch! I know this really isn't fair to other women out there, but Kendra's actions almost force me to question the motives of any 23-year-old third girlfriends of 82-year-old multimillionaires I may run across in the future. I get the feeling she may not have been in this relationship entirely for love.

Karissa and Kristina Shannon, Hugh Hefner, and Crystal Harris

I guess Hugh Hefner's getting bored with the twins. The Playboy founder is now dating a third girl, 22-year-old college student Crystal Harris. From the New York Daily News:

"I'm a good girl, for the most part," new Hef gal pal Crystal Harris writes on her MySpace page. (The 34-25-34 San Diego State University psychology student and PETA supporter lists "the rain, the seasons, fast cars, good food, volunteering, great company, caring and honest people, the ocean and animals" among her interests.)

Harris introduced herself on an E! online message board over the holidays, telling fans that "Hef gave me permission to fill people in on the new updates as a voice from the mansion." No other girlfriends are in the mix at this time, she says, but "there are a couple that we have interest in. ... As for now, it is just us three." (Source)

If someone who takes off her clothes for money, sleeps with an octogenarian, and engages in group sex is a "good girl," I'd hate to see a bad one. Other things Crystal might want to start listing as her interests: Changing bed pans, shopping for Fixodent, and dying a little bit more on the inside each day.

CREEPY FACT: If you combine their ages, Hef's three girlfriends still aren't as old as him (82 vs. 60)