We're told the former Hugh Hefner hanger-on resigned her position as Playmate editor (whatever that means) for Playboy magazine -- all because she wants to spend more time in Las Vegas with the world's lamest illusionist. Our sources say she's been nonexistent at the Playboy workplace for awhile now. (Source)What a blow to the magazine. One can only hope Hef finds someone soon to fill Holly's role of showing up occasionally and asking dumb questions. "Why are cameras called cameras?"
"I had to have sex every now and then, so I had to kind of sneak it. Besides the nights we went out, I only saw Hef, like, once a day walking through the halls to his office. There were never solo dates. The most we kind of say to each other is, 'I love you,' 'Love you too,' 'I hope you have a good day,' 'Did you have a good day?' Bridget [Marquardt] told me that she's been faithful all these years, and I was like, 'How the hell can you do that?' I had to have [sex] so I could feel my age,like a healthy human being." (Source)That two-timing bitch! I know this really isn't fair to other women out there, but Kendra's actions almost force me to question the motives of any 23-year-old third girlfriends of 82-year-old multimillionaires I may run across in the future. I get the feeling she may not have been in this relationship entirely for love.
"I'm a good girl, for the most part," new Hef gal pal Crystal Harris writes on her MySpace page. (The 34-25-34 San Diego State University psychology student and PETA supporter lists "the rain, the seasons, fast cars, good food, volunteering, great company, caring and honest people, the ocean and animals" among her interests.)If someone who takes off her clothes for money, sleeps with an octogenarian, and engages in group sex is a "good girl," I'd hate to see a bad one. Other things Crystal might want to start listing as her interests: Changing bed pans, shopping for Fixodent, and dying a little bit more on the inside each day.
Harris introduced herself on an E! online message board over the holidays, telling fans that "Hef gave me permission to fill people in on the new updates as a voice from the mansion." No other girlfriends are in the mix at this time, she says, but "there are a couple that we have interest in. ... As for now, it is just us three." (Source)
Holy crap he's old
Not at his lifestyle. At his dancing. Via the New York Daily News:
"He is cool out there because his moves are so uncool," 18-year-old Marston Hefner tells Playboy. "He's a disco inferno from another planet!"Cooper, 17, wasn't as kind as his big bro: "He's utterly confused, moving his body - the fast shuffles, the crazy elbows - as if he's not sure what he's doing. And all these girls on both sides are freaking on him. It should be awkward, but it isn't for him. It sort of works. Nobody alive can dance like him." (Source)
I don't see what the big deal is. When you're Hugh Hefner, you don't need to know how to dance to impress girls, you just need to know how to undo your zipper. Besides, are Hef's moves on the dance floor really the thing his kids should be the most embarrassed about? I'd put the fact that he has more STDs in him than a medical encyclopedia a little higher on the list. I keed, I keed.
[WENN]
Hugh Hefner is gettin' some
I'm not sure when these pictures were taken. Maybe a month ago. Wow that is disturbing. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for 82-year-old making out with 19-year-olds, I just don't want to see it . . . kinda like women voting.
Kendra Wilkinson at Foxtail nightclub (10/2)
Hugh Hefner's former girlfriend, Girls Next Door star Kendra Wilkinson, is engaged to Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Hank Baskett. Baskett popped the question over the weekend in Seattle. Before Kendra officially split with Hef, there were rumors Wilkinson and Baskett were dating. Hef told Us Weekly:
"Kendra Wilkinson has met someone who she would like to spend the rest of her life with. He popped the question last Saturday. I have given her my blessing and will be giving her away at a very special wedding ceremony at the Playboy Mansion this coming June." (Source)
I'd congratulate Hank on his upcoming wedding except he's marrying the King of Poon's sloppy seconds. Sleeping with a chick that's been with Hugh Hefner should be a question in the math section of the SAT:
*Please note access to a supercomputer is needed to solve the following question:
"If you sleep with a woman who slept with Hugh Hefner, calculate how many other people you have slept with worldwide . . . and what color your dick will look like by Thursday."
Hef can't make babies
Holly Madison is finally opening up ("opening up" heh heh heh) about her shocking breakup with Hugh Hefner that everyone saw coming ("coming" heh heh heh . . . I really need to grow up). She told In Touch Weekly:
"The only way I could be happy staying there was if we'd turned our relationship into something more traditional. I wanted to have kids. When that wasn't possible, I realized that I had to be honest with Hef and break it off."
You mean Holly wanted to be with someone more "traditional" than an 80-year-old porn peddler who lives in a mansion built on exposed labias? But where could she ever find such a guy? Frankly, at this point Holly could hook up with King Tut's mummified remains and that relationship would still be considered more socially acceptable. And unlike Hef, he'd at least be hard.
[Flynet, WENN]
Hugh Hefner and Holly Madison officially split
Hugh Hefner confirmed his break up with Girls Next Door star Holly Madison. He told Us Weekly:
"I had planned to spend the rest of my life with Holly. [After the break-up] I was road kill a couple of weeks ago. We tried to have a baby earlier this year and it didn't work out. She became very depressed." (Source)
Poor Hugh. I don't know how he's gonna cope with this break-up. Oh wait, yes I do: 18-year-old vagina. Feeling bad for Hugh Hefner breaking up with his girlfriend is like feeling bad for Bill Gates losing his wallet.
