Hugh Grant

Hugh Grant at The Castle Inn

Hugh Grant went to a pub last week in England and apparently forgot to pay his £5.45 tab. EVERYBODY PANIC! From the Daily Mail:

The Four Weddings and a Funeral star was enjoying a drink of Spitfire ale while buying a round at his favourite pub in Dover and chatting to the locals, but then left without paying. He initially ordered a couple of rounds for himself and his golfing partner but after realising the ale was stronger than he thought and he had to drive, he drained his pint glass, shook the hands of his fans in the pub and left.

The pub landlord assumes the 50-year-old Bridget Jones actor just forgot to pay after being distracted by fellow pub goers wanting autographs. Landlord of The Castle Inn, Paul McMullan, said: 'People normally hand over the money when they get the beer but a couple of guys at the bar asked for his autograph and I assume he got distracted.

'"We only charge £2.80 a pint and you’d have thought with his millions he could afford it but when he started talking about how he’d been unwell I didn’t like to ask, and then he shook my hand and posed for a photo. If he does it all round the country then it’s a great scam to get free drinks but if this was a one off I will put it down to an honest mistake."

I can't believe I'm sticking up for a celebrity, but the owner of this pub is an idiot. A famous movie star doesn't pay the equivalent of an $8 tab and this guy is bitching about it to the press? Outside of this dude hiring a couple of ghetto hookers as bartenders, good luck getting Hugh to ever come back to the pub.

*5 Hugh Grant pictures total in the gallery:

Hugh Grant and his new mystery love outside his house (8/15)

In 1995, Hugh Grant was arrested after police caught him in his BMW receiving a $60 blowjob from hooker Divine Brown. Apparently Hugh kept accidentally tapping the brake pedal with his foot, which attracted police to the car (seriously). I bring this up because earlier this week, -- according to one of the local tabloids -- Hugh was spotted "enjoying the company of a 'Divine'-looking girl during a night out in London." Wait a minute, I see what they're trying to imply. You know, just because she's black and Hugh likes her doesn't mean that she's a prostitute. Making an assumption like that is so damn racist. She could easily be a rapper or basketball player, too.

*10 pictures total in the gallery:

Hugh Grant at the Raisa Gorbachev Foundation Party at Stud House, Hampton Court Palace in London (5/6)

I think I could totally get used to being Hugh Grant. His penis must have more miles on it than an '89 Ford Taurus. From the New York Post:

Hugh Grant and a gaggle of gorgeous girls enjoyed a private screening of Voula Duval's short film "Trophy Wife" at Soho House Sunday night. After finding the rooftop of the members-only club packed with guests, including Kanye West, for a John Forte  performance, Grant asked the staff if there was a private space where they could watch the movie. "They closed down the entire sixth floor for Hugh, a few leggy models and Voula," a source said. Grant and Duval then went onto the neighboring Standard Hotel's rooftop bar Le Bain with 10 girls in tow.

It must be nice being Hugh Grant. You star in a few films where you play the exact same character, get caught with a hooker who may or may not have been a dude, and then spend the rest of your life banging supermodels. The only way this guy could be any luckier is if he were Alessandra Ambrosio's underwear. Let's just hope there's such a thing as Karma and Hugh is reincarnated as someone miserable in his next life -- like Kathy Griffin's make-up artist.

*12 pictures total in the gallery:

Hugh Grant at the 2010 Laureus World Sports Awards at the Palace Hotel in Abu Dhabi (3/10)

Millionaire old white guy fight! From the Daily Mail:

...The extraordinary spat happened at socialite Heather Kerzner's 41st birthday party at Annabel's nightclub in London on Wednesday night. According to a fellow guest, the flareup took place after a female guest asked [Hugh] Grant if he would like to meet [PR guru Matthew] Freud. Grant apparently replied that he had no desire to speak to Freud and allegedly used an expletive to describe him. Freud, who was standing nearby and heard the alleged insult, then smeared chocolate cake down Grant's shirt.

"I saw a lot of white shirt and before I could stop myself it was all brown," he told friends afterwards.

There was a brief lull before Grant allegedly threw a punch. In the subsequent melee, a glass of wine was also thrown  -  which ended up over London nightclub owner Johnny Gold.

It really is adorable how the wealthy resolve their disputes. Rather than both of them stepping outside to settle their differences like men, this Freud guy thought the most macho thing he could do was smear chocolate all over Hugh's clothing. Using that sort of tactic isn't the kind of behavior you'd expect to see at a fancy cocktail party -- it's the kind you'd see on D Block at San Quentin . . . yes that was an anal rape joke.

Hugh Grant outside the Ed Sullivan Theater before his appearance on the Late Show With David Letterman (12/14)

The best thing that's ever happened to me when I was drunk is one time in college, I talked my way out of being ticketed for indecent exposure. Compare this with Hugh Grant. One time he got drunk and made $17 million. From the Daily Mail:

Hugh Grant has confessed he was drunk when he  bought a painting of Elizabeth Taylor that later made him an £11million profit ($17.8 million). The actor was lauded as an art connoisseur when he bought the work by Andy Warhol for £2million. And he was praised as a master of timing when he sold it six years later for £13million.  But the star has now admitted that his windfall had little to do with an eye for art.

Grant, 49, had been on a two-day drinking spree when he ordered an assistant to bid for the painting at an auction in New York.

He said: "And to my horror, she did, and even worse, got it. It all began with drink. I'd been having a drunken dinner with my father the night before, and I said, 'We ought to go see my brother Jamie. You know, the Concorde's amazing.' And he said, 'I hear it is.' So I bought him a Concorde ticket and we went. We had lunch, drank a lot of beer. And I was thinking about some stuff in the Sotheby's auction and I saw the Liz Taylor. I slightly regret selling it now, even though it made me rich."

So Hugh accidentally made $17 million on a piece of art he bought while he was hammered? The only way this guy could get any luckier with a sudden cash windfall is if his name were Rachel Uchitel. Of course there is one downside to the fact that Hugh made $17 million in profit off of this sale: it wasn't enough to convince him to retire. I mean, have you seen American Dreamz? That movie is two hours of pure suck.

Hugh Grant is just a little bit drunk

Of course Hugh Grant dressed up for Halloween on Saturday night: He was the creepy drunk guy at the Standard Hotel in New York hitting on models half his age. Oh wait, that wasn't a costume. From my source at the bar:

"Here's some pics I took of Hugh Grant and Matar Cohen (Israeli model from Project Runway) from Halloween at the Standard Hotel in New York. He was drunk as hell and hitting on her like crazy. He kept taking pictures of her and said he liked the way she looked, but Matar didn't go home with him because he was 'too old' (she's 23)."

This Matar chick better learn to start liking guys twice her age if she ever wants to reach the top of the modeling industry. The sad truth is most supermodels slept their way to the top. Hell, even I did it. I'm not proud of it, but Celebslam didn't become the 37th* most popular celebrity gossip blog by sheer hard work alone.

*29th in India. Yeah baby!

Hugh Grant leaving J. Sheekey restaurant in London (7/2)

I've come to the conclusion that I could probably get used to being Hugh Grant. From the London Evening Standard:

Hugh Grant certainly isn't calming down with age. The Love Actually star, 48, spent an evening at Mayfair's Mahiki nightclub at the weekend with five girls.  All of them looked under half his age (although, when put together, that would make them twice his age).

A source said: “Hugh arrived at 10pm and stayed until the club closed. He was accompanied by five girls, who all looked under 25. They shared a couple of Treasure Chest cocktails and danced in a group on the dance floor.”

Should we really be chastising Hugh for his behavior? Picking up on five chicks at the same time is something every guy dreams of . . . except me of course. I normally call that "Thursdays." *flexes in the mirror*

It's easy pulling ass if you're Hugh Grant

Raise your hand if you think making out with two women at once is fun. OK, then my original point stands. Being Hugh Grant is fun. From the New York Post:

Hugh Grant likes flirting with women two at a time. Grant who's in town filming "Did You Hear About the Morgans?" was at Beatrice Inn Friday night. "He could barely keep his eyes open," said our spy. But he was awake enough to entertain two women "a brunette and a blonde," said the snitch. "He would make out with one girl, then turn to the other." Grant's rep confirmed he was there but told us, "There was no kissing. This is complete rubbish." (Source)

It must be nice to be nearly a decade removed from your last successful movie and STILL be able to pull two chicks at one time. This dude was once caught with a prostitute that suspiciously looked like a dude, yet he's still able to pull hot ass. I can't do that with $300 and a bus pass down to Ensenada. If this story teaches us anything, it's this: When trying to hook up with hot chicks, fame is > than higher education. Ask the ShamWow guy. Even he gets laid more than I do.