Archive: Hookups

Orlando Bloom and Jennifer Aniston at the Cannes Film Festival in 2004

Orlando Bloom and Jennifer Aniston looked like more than just friends at Eva Longoria’s new restaurant Beso earlier this week. An onlooker told the New York Post:

“They were sitting very close and she was looking at him like he was her favorite guy in the world.”

Last we heard, Bloom was model Miranda Kerr’s main man, but she was “nowhere to be found” at the party. (Source)

Miranda was probably sitting at home . . . with her three kids . . . four course dinner waiting on the table by candlelight . . . sobbing into her fifth glass of Jack Daniels because the man she fell in love with so many years ago wasn’t home yet and God only knows what floozy that two-timing backstabber was with this time WHY DAD?!? WHY DID YOU DESTROY US?!? . . . wait a minute, what were we talking about again?

[Getty]

Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston on the set of Marley & Me (3/10)

Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston are probably doing each other. The two are currently in Miami filming Marley & Me and have been acting “very flirty” with each other. A crew member on the set of the film told Star magazine:

“The hugging didn’t end when the cameras stopped rolling. They were very flirty together, far more than you would expect. In between takes they were hanging onto each other. They are very friendly.” (Source)

This just confirms my theory that Jennifer Aniston is fucking anything that moves. She reminds me a lot of a young me when I was counselor at Lingerie Camp in my early 20s. Bitch is insatiable. Every week a new rumor, a new man. Pretty much the only guy she hasn’t hooked up with is MacGyver and that’s only because he managed to stop her biological clock with some twine and chewing gum.

[INFDaily.com, Splash News]

Josh Hartnett and Rumer Willis

Josh Hartnett and Rumer Willis were supposedly flirting with each other last month in New York . . . and may or may not have had sex. The National Enquirer says:

Josh, 29, decided to make “friends” with Rumer, 19, at NYC hot spot the Beatrice Inn on January 29th. “Josh and Rumer were hanging out all night,” says a source at the Beatrice. “They seemed to be getting pretty cozy, and then they left together.” (Source)

This is fake, right? Josh used to bang Scarlett Johansson. No way in hell he’s slumming it with Rumer Willis. Her publicist had to plant this. “Rumer and Josh were totally flirting” sounds way better than “My client spent the last four Saturday nights gorging on Häagen-Dazs topped with hot fudge and her own tears while watching a string of romantic comedies.”