Hookups


Xenia Deli in her work clothes

Justin Bieber is banging Moldovan model Xenia Deli? Sure, why not. He was bored. From the Daily Mail:
The pair were spotted cosying up on a date on Friday night in Los Angeles. Fans took snaps and recorded videos of the couple as they enjoyed a night together at a piano bar, having walked in together hand-in-hand. Justin even took to the keys and serenaded her with a few songs, including the Beatles' Let It Be, as she sidled up beside him on the bench.

At one stage, Bieber shared a snap on Instagram of their footsie-playing feet beneath the piano - his in flat white trainers, hers in pointed white shoes showing major toe cleavage - but he swiftly deleted it.

The 25-year-old is also set to appear alongside the singer in the video for the much-hyped new song, What Do You Mean, in which she is reported to be playing the main role.
I uploaded a few videos of myself singing in the shower to YouTube and I got, like, 250 views. Justin Bieber uploaded a few videos to YouTube and he got to bang Xenia Deli. That doesn't seem fair. That doesn't seem fair at all. Maybe it was because I dropped the soap?

*41 Xenia Deli pictures total in the gallery:

  • Justin Bieber Xenia Deli 1
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Kendall Jenner and Cara Delevingne at Fashion Week London earlier this year

Kendall Jenner is currently hooking up with Nick Jonas, but she may also be getting a little on the side from her British supermodel BFF Cara Delevingne. Bow chicka wow wow. From Star:
"They were giddy, holding hands and laughing all night. They looked really comfortable together," an eyewitness tells Star.

The couple-up is not surprise to those close to Kendall, 19. "All her girlfriends are boy crazy, yet she never talks about guys," says an insider. "Everyone's noticed Kendall and Cara's flirtations and can see they're definitely attracted to each other."

Cara, 22 who's openly bisexual, has been dating singer St. Vincent, 32 - who has no doubt noticed the attraction too.(Print Edition)
The big winner in this? Nick Jonas. He gets over his break-up from Miss Universe by stumbling into a prime threesome opportunity with Kendall Jenner and Cara Delevingne. Lucky bastard. He better get reincarnated as Jonah Hill's diarrhea in his next life just to even the Universe out. Oh god . . . did I just use the term "Jonah Hill's diarrhea"? I disgust me.

*25 Kendall Jenner and Cara Delevingne pictures total in the gallery:

  • Kendall Jenner Cara Delevingne Hookup Rumors 1
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Kendall Jenner shopping in Beverly Hills (7/31)

Nick Jonas has moved on from Miss Universe Olivia Culpo and is now banging Kendall Jenner. And it's all thanks to Gigi Hadid. He should send her a fruit basket or something. From Us Weekly:
The blonde model, 20, and her boyfriend Joe Jonas recently reintroduced Jenner and Joe's brother but their reasons for playing cupid weren't completely selfless. "Gigi wants Kendall around all the time," says a source. "She thinks it would be fun for all of them to hang out."

Plus, the duo, dubbed G.I. Joe by their friend Cara Delevingne, knew it wouldn't be difficult to coordinate those group dates. "They are all going to end up hanging out regardless, so it seems like a simple situation, which could be a lot of fun," the source adds.
They're going to hang out anyways, so it's a simple situation? Is that how young people think nowadays? "I'm gonna see you all the time anyways, so I might as well blow you." God dammit I grew up in the wrong decade. Back in my day I'd have to wear my finest slap bracelet and put on an Ace of Base CD and other 90s' references just to hold a girl's hand -- left of course. My right hand was strictly for playing pogs and other 90s' references.

*20 Kendall Jenner pictures total in the gallery:

  • Kendall Jenner Nick Jonas 1
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Christine Ouzounian heading to the Bel-Air Hotel in Bel Air (7/29)

Here's the first picture of Ben Affleck's nanny Christine Ouzounian since rumors emerged that he's now dating her after his split from Jennifer Garner. So . . . yeah. Jennifer Garner: not a smart woman. She might as well have hired a Fleshlight.

*20 Christina Ouzounian pictures total in the gallery:

  • Pictures of Christine Ouzounian The Nanny 1
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Amanda Dufner cheated with Tiger Woods

PGA pro Jason Dufner and his wife Amanda had what seemed like the perfect marriage. They were always on vacation and always having fun, which Amanda chronicled on her Instagram. And then earlier this year, surprisingly, they divorced. There were whispers that Tiger Woods played a part in it, and now The Enquirer is claiming that Tiger's balls definitely ended up in Amanda's hole:
"Even though Tiger dated Lindsey [Vonn] for years, he had a 'thing' for Amanda," a source told The Enquirer. "At first, it was just innocent flirting, but earlier this year it became serious."

According to the source, Woods and Boyd have been carrying on their steamy affair for months.

"Amanda is gorgeous, and she's known as a big flirt with the other players on the PGA tour," said another insider. "I guess her flirty ways and good looks caught Tiger's eye. Right now, the only sure thing about Amanda and Tiger's relationship is that it will end with Tiger cheating on her!"
Tiger like golfing and cheating. Amanda likes golfers and cheating. I think we have a love connection here, folks! They're gonna be just like Romeo and Juliet! . . . you know, if Romeo was also fucking the local seamstress while trying to woo Juliet.

*25 Amanda Dufner pictures total in the gallery:

  • Tiger Woods Amanda Dufner 1
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Minka Kelly at The French Laundry in Yountville, CA (6/23)

Sean Penn is so distraught at being dumped by Charlize Theron that he's moved onto banging Minka Kelly. Poor fella. Hope he has a good therapist. From Us Weekly:
A source confirms to Us that Penn treated Kelly and a couple of friends to a "very pricey meal" at Thomas Keller's elite eatery The French Laundry in Napa, Calif., for the Almost Human actress' 35th birthday. (TMZ was first to report the outing, with photos of the pair at the restaurant.)

The insider says that Penn -- whose famous exes include Theron, Scarlett Johansson, and ex-wives Madonna and Robin Wright -- flew up to Napa with a pal on the night of June 23, and met Kelly and her girlfriend for dinner. The two apparently met at a benefit the actor threw for his Haiti relief organization J/P HRO.

"That was their first date, but it was a group setting," the insider tells Us of the birthday feast at French Laundry. "It was more of a 'let's see how this goes.'"\
The 9-course tasting menu at The French Laundry runs $295. A wine pairing will set you back another $200. Throw in some pre-dinner champagne, tax, and tip, and Sean dropped about $3,000 on this meal for everyone. I can't stand the guy, but god dammit you better have put out for him, Minka. Hell, if I take a girl to McDonald's, I'm expecting at least a handjob.

*10 Minka Kelly pictures total in the gallery:

  • Minka Kelly Sean Penn 1
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Kelly Rohrbach in a bikini

Stop me if you've heard this before, but Leo DiCaprio may have found "the one." Her name is Kelly Rohrbach and she's young, blonde, and looks fucking amazing in a bikini. In other words, she ticks every box for Leo  From the New York Post:
Riding through the streets of Midtown on blue Citi Bikes earlier this month, Leonardo DiCaprio and Kelly Rohrbach came to a halt at a red light. The 25-year-old model, wearing sexy white overall shorts, leaned over and locked lips with the scruffy leading man.

The kiss confirmed rumors swirling since April -- that the 40-year-old modelizer was indeed romancing the leggy blonde crowned this year's Swimsuit Rookie of the Year by Sports Illustrated.
I know what you're thinking: Doesn't it get boring for Leo banging hot blonde bikini model after hot blonde bikini model. No. The answer is no. It's like In-N-Out. Give me a Double-Double every day, and I will eat the fuck out of it.

*44 Kelly Rohrbach bikini pictures total in the gallery:

  • Kelly Rohrbach Leo DiCaprio 1
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Joe Jonas and Gigi Hadid leaving Noah's Bagels in Westwood (6/20)

Joe Jonas and Gigi Hadid are definitely doing it. The two were spotted at the same restaurant last week in Beverly Hills, and now here they are leaving a bagel shop in Westwood on Saturday. Bagel shop as in bagels. Bagels as in what you eat in the morning. Morning as what comes after night. Night as in staying the night together. Staying the night together as in sex. Sex as in premarital sex. Premarital sex as why do you hate Jesus, Joe? Why do you hate Jesus?

*25 Gigi Hadid and Joe Jonas pictures total in the gallery:

  • Gigi Hadid Joe Jonas Definitely Dating 1
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Miley Cyrus and Stella Maxwell, via Stella's instagram

Is Miley Cyrus now dating Victoria's Secret Angel Stella Maxwell? Sure, why not. From the New York Daily News:
Friends of Miley Cyrus say she's dating Victoria's Secret Angel Stella Maxwell, Confidenti@l has learned. Pals refer to the "Wrecking Ball" singer and the gorgeous New Zealander as "a couple" and a spy who has spent time with the pair says they have the easy affection of people who have been dating for months.

"They hold hands and hug and are very comfortable together. They're definitely together," said our source.
Good, good for Miley -- I'm glad she's finally embracing her bisexuality and settling down. Though I am a little disappointed it's not with Kaitlyn Jenner. Dammit, I really wanted to watch that show.

*25 Stella Maxwell pictures total in the gallery:

  • Miley Cyrus Dating Stella Maxwell 1
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Sara Sampaio's sexy seductive selfie

One Direction singer Harry Styles is probably banging Victoria's Secret Angel and Carl's Jr. burger-lover Sara Sampaio. Either that or they're just really into slumber parties. Ghost story time! Eeeeeeek! From the Daily Mail:
The 21-year-old was seen partying in Manhattan on Thursday night, in an eye-catching red shirt, accompanied by a group of friends including the Portuguese model. The pictures show Harry and Sara kiss each other goodbye outside the Ludlow Hotel in Manhattan around 10pm on Thursday night.

"There was definitely chemistry there as they hugged and kissed each other when she left but everyone thinks something was up as she came back and they left so soon after each other the next morning," a source told The Sun. "Sara left at 11am dressed exactly the same. Then Harry walked out at 11.15am and it looked like he'd been partying pretty hard."

Sara's outfit was exactly the same as the night before but she left her shirt untucked from her shorts and appeared to be not wearing her bra, according to photographers.
Harry's youth and inexperience is showing here. Whenever I hook up with supermodels, I always keep a change of clothes on hand for them to trick the paparazzi. It's why you've seen so many attractive women leaving hotels lately in Scooby-Do pajamas. I guess I could give them normal clothes, but nah. Total power move.

*25 Sara Sampaio pictures total in the gallery:

  • Harry Styles Sara Sampaio Hookup 1
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Would You Rather?

Would You Rather...? Spend one night with: