Hookups


Christine Ouzounian heading to the Bel-Air Hotel in Bel Air (7/29)

Here's the first picture of Ben Affleck's nanny Christine Ouzounian since rumors emerged that he's now dating her after his split from Jennifer Garner. So . . . yeah. Jennifer Garner: not a smart woman. She might as well have hired a Fleshlight.

*20 Christina Ouzounian pictures total in the gallery:

  • Pictures of Christine Ouzounian The Nanny 1
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Amanda Dufner cheated with Tiger Woods

PGA pro Jason Dufner and his wife Amanda had what seemed like the perfect marriage. They were always on vacation and always having fun, which Amanda chronicled on her Instagram. And then earlier this year, surprisingly, they divorced. There were whispers that Tiger Woods played a part in it, and now The Enquirer is claiming that Tiger's balls definitely ended up in Amanda's hole:
"Even though Tiger dated Lindsey [Vonn] for years, he had a 'thing' for Amanda," a source told The Enquirer. "At first, it was just innocent flirting, but earlier this year it became serious."

According to the source, Woods and Boyd have been carrying on their steamy affair for months.

"Amanda is gorgeous, and she's known as a big flirt with the other players on the PGA tour," said another insider. "I guess her flirty ways and good looks caught Tiger's eye. Right now, the only sure thing about Amanda and Tiger's relationship is that it will end with Tiger cheating on her!"
Tiger like golfing and cheating. Amanda likes golfers and cheating. I think we have a love connection here, folks! They're gonna be just like Romeo and Juliet! . . . you know, if Romeo was also fucking the local seamstress while trying to woo Juliet.

*25 Amanda Dufner pictures total in the gallery:

  • Tiger Woods Amanda Dufner 1
  • Tiger Woods Amanda Dufner 2
  • Tiger Woods Amanda Dufner 3
  • Tiger Woods Amanda Dufner 4
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  • Tiger Woods Amanda Dufner 25

Minka Kelly at The French Laundry in Yountville, CA (6/23)

Sean Penn is so distraught at being dumped by Charlize Theron that he's moved onto banging Minka Kelly. Poor fella. Hope he has a good therapist. From Us Weekly:
A source confirms to Us that Penn treated Kelly and a couple of friends to a "very pricey meal" at Thomas Keller's elite eatery The French Laundry in Napa, Calif., for the Almost Human actress' 35th birthday. (TMZ was first to report the outing, with photos of the pair at the restaurant.)

The insider says that Penn -- whose famous exes include Theron, Scarlett Johansson, and ex-wives Madonna and Robin Wright -- flew up to Napa with a pal on the night of June 23, and met Kelly and her girlfriend for dinner. The two apparently met at a benefit the actor threw for his Haiti relief organization J/P HRO.

"That was their first date, but it was a group setting," the insider tells Us of the birthday feast at French Laundry. "It was more of a 'let's see how this goes.'"\
The 9-course tasting menu at The French Laundry runs $295. A wine pairing will set you back another $200. Throw in some pre-dinner champagne, tax, and tip, and Sean dropped about $3,000 on this meal for everyone. I can't stand the guy, but god dammit you better have put out for him, Minka. Hell, if I take a girl to McDonald's, I'm expecting at least a handjob.

*10 Minka Kelly pictures total in the gallery:

  • Minka Kelly Sean Penn 1
  • Minka Kelly Sean Penn 2
  • Minka Kelly Sean Penn 3
  • Minka Kelly Sean Penn 4
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  • Minka Kelly Sean Penn 10

Kelly Rohrbach in a bikini

Stop me if you've heard this before, but Leo DiCaprio may have found "the one." Her name is Kelly Rohrbach and she's young, blonde, and looks fucking amazing in a bikini. In other words, she ticks every box for Leo  From the New York Post:
Riding through the streets of Midtown on blue Citi Bikes earlier this month, Leonardo DiCaprio and Kelly Rohrbach came to a halt at a red light. The 25-year-old model, wearing sexy white overall shorts, leaned over and locked lips with the scruffy leading man.

The kiss confirmed rumors swirling since April -- that the 40-year-old modelizer was indeed romancing the leggy blonde crowned this year's Swimsuit Rookie of the Year by Sports Illustrated.
I know what you're thinking: Doesn't it get boring for Leo banging hot blonde bikini model after hot blonde bikini model. No. The answer is no. It's like In-N-Out. Give me a Double-Double every day, and I will eat the fuck out of it.

*44 Kelly Rohrbach bikini pictures total in the gallery:

  • Kelly Rohrbach Leo DiCaprio 1
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  • Kelly Rohrbach Leo DiCaprio 1
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  • Kelly Rohrbach Leo DiCaprio 10

Joe Jonas and Gigi Hadid leaving Noah's Bagels in Westwood (6/20)

Joe Jonas and Gigi Hadid are definitely doing it. The two were spotted at the same restaurant last week in Beverly Hills, and now here they are leaving a bagel shop in Westwood on Saturday. Bagel shop as in bagels. Bagels as in what you eat in the morning. Morning as what comes after night. Night as in staying the night together. Staying the night together as in sex. Sex as in premarital sex. Premarital sex as why do you hate Jesus, Joe? Why do you hate Jesus?

*25 Gigi Hadid and Joe Jonas pictures total in the gallery:

  • Gigi Hadid Joe Jonas Definitely Dating 1
  • Gigi Hadid Joe Jonas Definitely Dating 2
  • Gigi Hadid Joe Jonas Definitely Dating 3
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Miley Cyrus and Stella Maxwell, via Stella's instagram

Is Miley Cyrus now dating Victoria's Secret Angel Stella Maxwell? Sure, why not. From the New York Daily News:
Friends of Miley Cyrus say she's dating Victoria's Secret Angel Stella Maxwell, Confidenti@l has learned. Pals refer to the "Wrecking Ball" singer and the gorgeous New Zealander as "a couple" and a spy who has spent time with the pair says they have the easy affection of people who have been dating for months.

"They hold hands and hug and are very comfortable together. They're definitely together," said our source.
Good, good for Miley -- I'm glad she's finally embracing her bisexuality and settling down. Though I am a little disappointed it's not with Kaitlyn Jenner. Dammit, I really wanted to watch that show.

*25 Stella Maxwell pictures total in the gallery:

  • Miley Cyrus Dating Stella Maxwell 1
  • Miley Cyrus Dating Stella Maxwell 2
  • Miley Cyrus Dating Stella Maxwell 3
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Sara Sampaio's sexy seductive selfie

One Direction singer Harry Styles is probably banging Victoria's Secret Angel and Carl's Jr. burger-lover Sara Sampaio. Either that or they're just really into slumber parties. Ghost story time! Eeeeeeek! From the Daily Mail:
The 21-year-old was seen partying in Manhattan on Thursday night, in an eye-catching red shirt, accompanied by a group of friends including the Portuguese model. The pictures show Harry and Sara kiss each other goodbye outside the Ludlow Hotel in Manhattan around 10pm on Thursday night.

"There was definitely chemistry there as they hugged and kissed each other when she left but everyone thinks something was up as she came back and they left so soon after each other the next morning," a source told The Sun. "Sara left at 11am dressed exactly the same. Then Harry walked out at 11.15am and it looked like he'd been partying pretty hard."

Sara's outfit was exactly the same as the night before but she left her shirt untucked from her shorts and appeared to be not wearing her bra, according to photographers.
Harry's youth and inexperience is showing here. Whenever I hook up with supermodels, I always keep a change of clothes on hand for them to trick the paparazzi. It's why you've seen so many attractive women leaving hotels lately in Scooby-Do pajamas. I guess I could give them normal clothes, but nah. Total power move.

*25 Sara Sampaio pictures total in the gallery:

  • Harry Styles Sara Sampaio Hookup 1
  • Harry Styles Sara Sampaio Hookup 2
  • Harry Styles Sara Sampaio Hookup 3
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Paris Hilton and Tom Gross in Formentera, Spain (6/9)

Here's Paris Hilton and her new boyfriend Tom Gross on a yacht off Formentera yesterday. Gross is right. Or more like, embarrassing. Hopefully for him his friends don't start asking too many questions. "Tom, was that you kissing Paris Hilton on a yacht?" . . . "Me? Nope, not me. Not at all. I was in Bangkok fucking ladyboys. Fucked 'em real good."

*35 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton New Boyfriend Yacht 1
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Irina Shayk in Miami in 2013

Russian supermodel Irina Shayk is one of the most attractive women on the planet. She dated soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo for a few years before dumping him (because he cheated). She then moved on to Bradley Cooper (which is why he has a giant smile on his face everywhere he goes lately). Yesterday the Spanish paper El Mundo published the crazy claim that Irina used to fuck Sepp Blatter. Yes, that one -- the 79-year-old dickhead who used to run FIFA. Aw hell no. Via the Mirror:
Respected Spanish daily El Mundo made the sensational claim about the roving-eyed football chief and Cristiano Ronaldo's stunning ex in a piece published yesterday titled "All the women in Blatter's life."

It declared the 79-year-old "had a relationship" with the Russian beauty - currently seeing American Sniper actor Bradley Cooper - after dating tennis player Ilona Boguska but before meeting glamorous Linda Barras, 50.
In the .00001% chance that this is true, there's only one way to handle this situation. We have to set Irina Shayk on fire. Tragic, but it has to happen.

*10 Chris Brown pictures total in the gallery:

  • Irina Shayk Sepp Blatter 1
  • Irina Shayk Sepp Blatter 2
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Stephen Dorff and Charlotte McKinney at L'Arc nightclub in Paris (5/31)

Yes. The answer is yes.

*5 Charlotte McKinney pictures total in the gallery:

  • Stephen Dorff Charlotte McKinney 1
  • Stephen Dorff Charlotte McKinney 2
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Would You Rather?

Would You Rather...? Spend one night with: