Hookups


Rita Ora on vacation in Miami (12/28)

So Gerard Butler had sex with Rita Ora last month in West Hollywood. Nice work if you can get it. From Us Weekly:
Rita Ora and Gerard Butler shacked up at a West Hollywood hotel January 17, a source reveals in the new issue of Us Weekly. But before turning in for the night, the 46-year-old actor and the British singer, 25, had an intimate dinner at the four-star hotel's in-house restaurant. "They drank wine and she hugged him when he returned to the table from a break," an onlooker says of Ora. "Gerard paid the bill."
"You can just pay me back later . . . orally."
The Gods of Egypt actor has been on the prowl since recently splitting from his interior designer girlfriend of more than a year, Morgan Brown, says a Butler pal: "He's totally single and ready to get back out there."
Yup, Rita clearly leaked this for publicity. *sigh* I miss the good ol' days of the '70s and '80s when you could still hook up with a chick and she wouldn't go blabbing to the media about every little detail. I swear, Rohypnol has a hell of an effect on memory. Ain't that right, Bill Cosby?

*30 Gerard Butler pictures total in the gallery:

  • Rita Ora Gerard Butler Hookup 1
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Selena Gomez and Orlando Bloom at his birthday party

Remember when Selena Gomez and Orlando Bloom were doing it last year? Well they're still doing it. Selena attended Orlando's birthday last week in L.A. (above, with shared manager Aleen Keshishian) and also wished him a happy birthday on Instagram using his nickname ("Happy bday Orly"). You don't call a 39-year-old man a cute little nickname unless his penis has been in your hands within the last 24 hours. Everyone knows that. Start the pregnancy rumors.

*4 Orlando Bloom and Selena Gomez pictures total in the gallery:

  • Selena Orlando Cozy 1
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Katy Perry at the Weinstein/Netflix Golden Globes party (1/10)

So Orlando Bloom probably nailed Katy Perry on Sunday night. Thanks, alcohol! You know, and being rich, famous, and attractive. That, too. From the New York Post:
The screen star and the singer were at Harvey Weinstein and Netflix's Golden Globes afterparty, where Bloom was whispering into Perry's ear and touching her back. "Katy and Orlando were standing in the back of the party drinking Mo√ęt and were aggressively flirting before leaving together," a spy told Page Six. "He wouldn't stop staring at her cleavage -- and she was very flirty and laid on the charm."

The source said the pair even locked lips behind the scenes before leaving.
Since divorcing Miranda Kerr, Orlando has nailed Selena Gomez, Kendall Jenner, and now Katy Perry. And that's just who we know of. Take that, John Mayer! Orlando sees your pussy magnet occupation (musician) and raises you a British accent.

*15 Katy Perry pictures total in the gallery:

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David Spade and a mystery woman in Maui (1/5)

David Spade did it again. The actor was spotted with a smoking-hot blonde 20-something in Maui yesterday. This of course begs the question: If David Spade wasn't a rich actor, is this the year he would finally lose his virginity?

*15 David Spade pictures total in the gallery:

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Katy Perry and John Mayer leaving The Nice Guy in West Hollywood (12/30)

In case you care, Katy Perry and John Mayer are doing it again. They were seen leaving The Nice Guy nightclub together last week. You can't tell, but it's her. Katy wouldn't show her face because she passed out in the VIP room and John drew a dick on her cheek. I mean, right? It's fun to fantasize that the rich and famous act exactly like my friends and I do when we're drunk.

*10 Katy Perry and John Mayer pictures total in the gallery:

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Justin Bieber making out with Hailey Baldwin

Congratulations to those of you that guessed "Haily Baldwin" on the "Who will Justin Bieber be in on New Years?" sweepstakes. Your prize is an overwhelming feeling of jealousy and envy. The two are ringing in 2016 together in a luxury beachfront mansion on the Caribbean island of Anguilla (pics via Bieber's instagram). Wow, I almost made it four whole days into 2016 without cursing this asshole's name. Seriously, fuck Justin Bieber.

*10 Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin pictures total in the gallery:

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Kourtney Kardashian's butt, via Instagram

Rather than it just being a recent thing, Us Weekly says Justin Bieber and Kourtney Kardashain (butt pic via Instagram yesterday) have been having sexual relations for months. And that baby machine hasn't gotten pregnant yet? A true Christmas miracle!
"Justin and Kourtney have been hooking up since late August, early September," a source tells Us.

Not only has the "Sorry" singer, 21, "bragged" about his latest escapades, but another source adds, "Justin started hanging out with Kourtney alone because she started going out more."

Naturally, this hasn't made the self-proclaimed [Scott] Disick, 32, feel too good, but an insider tells Us that he hasn't said a word against the romance.

"He's had so many stories about him recently, he has no reason to be pissed," a source says. "He feels like he has to take the humiliation."
Quite an accomplishment for Justin. At this point the only member of the Kardashian family he hasn't nailed yet is North West . . . but I'm sure Kim is working on that for the future. "Kanye, is 10 too young to start dating?"

*16 Kourtney Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:

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Kourtney Kardashian leaving The Nice Guy nightclub in West Hollywood (12/12)

Page Six is confirming today that Justin Bieber and Kourtney Kardashian are definitely hooking up. They partied together at Nice Guy in West Hollywood on Saturday night before continuing on to Blind Dragon. Though they left separately, they both met back up at Justin's hotel room at the Mondrian for a slumber party. Ghost stories and boy talk! Eeeeeeek! A source told the paper:
In an apparent jab at "Lord Disick," a nickname that [Kourtney's ex Scott] Disick, 32, created for himself, Bieber posted a photo to Instagram Sunday of himself straddling a mystery woman on the hood of an Audi sports car alongside the cryptic caption, "Lord knows."

"Scott hates it that Bieber is the younger, hotter and richer version of him -- in his eyes -- and seeing him with Kourtney pisses him off even more," said the insider. "Kourtney knows it upsets him, so when Scott flaunts being out with other girls, she hangs out with Justin to get back at him."

But a source close to Kardashian says the reality star and singer are "just friends."
You can't really blame Kourtney for hooking up with Justin. Her sisters Kendall and Kylie are a lot younger than her -- maybe she just wanted to connect with them. "Oh my gosh Kylie, did Justin do that thing with his tongue where he bites your nipple and then . . ." I know, gross, but this is the kind of reality these freaks live in.

*16 Kourtney Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:

  • Kourtney Kardashian Justin Beiber Sleepover 1
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Kendall Jenner leaving the Trump Soho Hotel in New York (9/13)

Orlando Bloom and Kendall Jenner? Sure, why not. The Sun says Orlando has been banging the reality star all summer. And, yes, once a reality star, always a reality star. I don't care if Kendall's elected president in 20 years. She'll still be a reality star. Via the Daily Mail:
According to The Sun on Sunday, the 38-year-old actor and the 19-year-old face of Calvin Klein have enjoyed a number of dates since they were allegedly seen getting cosy at a film screening in Los Angeles, in July.

According to the paper, Orlando - who is twice Kendall's age- and the oldest of Caitlyn and Kris Jenner's daughters have been on a number of low-key dates over the summer. And on one particular occasion the Lord Of The Rings star is believed to have really laid on the romance, by treating Kendall to a meal at Bui Sushi, in Malibu, before taking her on a sunset drive.

A source revealed the pair have been seeing each other secretly, saying: "The age difference doesn't seem to bother them although it's far too early for either to tell if it's going to develop into something serious."
I'm not buying this for a second. This has clearly been planted by Orlando's people to drum up some buzz about him. It's not that I think Orlando couldn't bang a hot 19-year-old -- he clearly can and has. It's just that he's not, to put it gently, Kylie's "type" if you catch my drift. He's never even been in a Tyler Perry movie. What the hell would they talk about?

*5 Kendall Jenner pictures total in the gallery:

  • Kendall Jenner Orlando Bloom Hooking Up 1
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Miley Cyrus out for breakfast in Studio City (9/13)

Haven't heard much from Dane Cook lately. I guess it's hard competing with the likes of Louis C.K. and Bill Burr when your day job at the car wash takes up all of your time. But hey, he still has his penis. And right now it's in Miley Cyrus. Literally. She likes morning sex. From Us Weekly:
A source reveals in the new issue of Us Weekly that the "Hands of Love" singer and comedian Dane Cook are "hooking up."
Why does seeing the phrase "hooking up" in quotes makes me feel like Us Weekly is run by a bunch of 80-year-olds?
The 22-year-old -- who has said she likes "funny" men -- and Jessica Simpson's ex are longtime pals. In December 2013, they had an impromptu dance party at L.A. club The Woods. And this past March, when her then-love, Patrick Schwarzenegger, was snapped doing body shots off a bikini-clad girl on spring break, she regrammed a self-addressed post from Cook, 43, that read, "Don't you ever let someone treat you like a yellow Starburst. You are a pink Starburst."
So Miley's back to men now? Because before, she was banging Stella Maxwell. And before that, Patrick Schwarzenegger. Back and forth; back and forth. It's so confusing. If Miley starts banging Caitlyn Jenner, and then Chaz Bono, my head is going to fucking explode.

SHOWER THOUGHT OF THE DAY: Kim Davis would have issued a marriage license to Bruce Jenner and Chastity Bono ten years ago, but would she still do it today?

*20 Miley Cyrus pictures total in the gallery:

  • Miley Cyrus Dane Cook 1
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Would You Rather?

Would You Rather...? Spend one night with: