Miranda Kerr at the launch of the new Jaguar F-TYPE Coupe in L.A.
This should probably come as a shock to no one, but it's rumored that Leo DiCaprio is already nailing the newly-single Miranda Kerr. The dined with a group of 15 friends over the weekend in Las Vegas, and witnesses say there was some obvious sexual tension between them. From E!
An eyewitness at the eatery says Kerr, who was with two girlfriends, and DiCaprio sat across from each other. Kerr wore sunglasses, skinny black pants and a black shirt and ate sushi while DiCaprio enjoyed chicken teriyaki.
"They looked like they were having a great time," a source tells E! News of Kerr and DiCaprio, who weren't acting flirty in any way. "They came with a bunch of friends and were overheard talking about going out the night before."
Let's see, did Leo "I plow a supermodel as often as the average guy masturbates" DiCaprio lay the pipe to Miranda "I am a known supermodel" Kerr? Come on, people, work with me. Of course he did, dummies! I don't know if he invented it, but Leo undoubtedly patented the whole "Let's have my squadron of wingmen run interference so we can sneak and survey your vaginal tribute to me" fake get-together. It's a dangerous maneuver practiced by a very elite type of man-whore -- only true masters like Leo and myself are skilled enough to pull it off and not come off as total douchebags . . . right, Mr. Piven? Leo's the latest in a long line of superheros to have this power. He's sort of a James Bond, except he's not catching evil villains -- he's pounding puss.*30 Miranda Kerr pictures total in the gallery:
Britney Spears watching her sons play soccer in Calabasas
(11/9) Blurred Lines
singer Robin Thicke banged Britney Spears back in the day when she was still sane Britney Spears. Nice. That actually used to count as an accomplishment. From In Touch Weekly
The pair had a fling in 2003 -- when Britney was at the top of her game and Robin was trying to get recognized. "He was trying hard to develop a reputation as a hot, young singer, and Britney was the biggest thing in show business," the source tells In Touch, sharing that the two met collaborating on a project (which was never released) and "started hooking up."
Robin's reps deny any such relationship. However, the source says that while the "Toxic" singer was newly single, recently splitting from Justin Timberlake, Robin had been dating actress and now wife Paula Patton since high school-- a fact he was keeping quiet then.
Come on, this isn't a story. Let's not pretend that Britney's meat pocket is some sort of star maker just because Robin Thicke signed her registry decades ago. Sure, Robin scored a monster hit last summer with that silly Blurred Lines
song, but the success of that song is due to the video of that big-titted dancing girl
with the unpronounceable last name shaking her goodies
for the camera. If Britney's taco had any magical qualities whatsoever, there'd be thousands of former bar tenders, baristas, and parking lot attendants of questionable legal status who'd be famous, too. *20 Britney Spears pictures total in the gallery:
Tati Neves in a bikini
After being quiet about it since leaking the cell phone video
she took of him sleeping last week, Brazilian hooker Tati Neves is now admitting that she had sex with Justin Bieber. Oh cool, I wonder if he'll write a song about her now? What rhymes with "mannish whore?" From the Daily Mail
In an interview with The Sun, Tati goes into detail about her alleged sexual relations with the singer, even praising his prowess between the sheets. She said: "It was marvellous and unforgettable... He has quite a fit body and looked great naked. Take it from me, he's well endowed and very good in bed."
Tati claims she left the next morning, only to get a phone call from Justin asking her to come back. However, Tati - who is separated from her husband - claims she declined because she was "too exhausted," praising Justin for his "stamina" and "energy."
Hannah Montana is smoking more weed than Snoop Dog and Justin Bieber is wearing out hookers faster than Charlie Sheen.*30 Tati Neves pictures total in the gallery:
Miley Cyrus on Halloween
Miley Cyrus allegedly hooked up with Paris Hilton's ex Benji Madden on Halloween. Well, you know the old saying: "birds of a feather, flock together." Or in this case, two talentless ass clowns. From the Daily Mail
"They seemed really into each other," an eyewitness tells MailOnline exclusively. Miley, who looked 'amazing' in her Lil Kim outfit, was introduced to Benji through a friend at Adam Lambert's Halloween Party, says the source.
"Soon they were flirting and talking very closely. Then they shared a kiss. They left Bootsy Bellows together around 1 am," an eyewitness who was at the event tells MailOnline. "They tried to be discreet by sharing a car with some other friends but it was clear they were leaving as a couple."
I gotta give Miley credit. Any hipster can rummage through the garbage cans of five star restaurants, but Miley goes dumpster diving in the unit full of broken condoms and scattered Morning After Pills right outside Nickelodeon studios. Benji Madden is a member of Good Charlotte for Heaven's sake -- just being in the same picture as him would automatically put you on the D-list for life. In this case, it just shows that Miley is so hot right now that even Paris Hilton's sloppy seconds can't derail her career. I won't put her in my dead pool just yet because I still think it's all a giant prank, but a few years ago I said the same thing about Lindsay Lohan, and look how wrong I was about her.*20 Miley Cyrus Halloween costume pictures total in the gallery:
Leo DiCaprio's new girlfriend Kat Torres
Leonardo DiCaprio is done with attractive blonde supermodel Toni Garrn
and has moved on to -- wait for it -- attractive blonde supermodel Kat Torres. Wow, what a stretch for him. Kat told the Daily Mail
"I met Leo in Cannes. We were staying in the same house at the festival. I really don't know how the photographers got the picture because we were well guarded and no one could come close in any circumstances. Leo is amazing, but I worry about what he will think about me talking to you. We have a pact that nothing can ever be said about our relationship. In Europe it is different. People see us together in many places so they do not need to ask us about anything."
Sweet Jesus, Kat Torres is an idiot. She must be some kind of backwoods savage, since she clearly doesn't know the first rule of dating Leonardo DiCaprio is to not talk about dating Leonardo DiCaprio. The second rule of dating Leonardo DiCaprio is to NOT TALK ABOUT DATING LEONARDO DICAPRIO. Why is this chick speaking of Mr. D as if he's some douchy reality star? He's Leo God Damn DiCaprio, Goddammit. This is the same guy who dumped Gisele
, Bar Refaeli
, Erin Heatherton
, and Blake Lively
, so giving this mouthy bitch a Viking funeral is nothing to him. Hell, Kat is lucky if Leo even knows her name by now. For him, that formality usually comes after the relationship enters the anal stage.*30 Kat Torres pictures total in the gallery:
Katie Holmes leaving ABC Studios in New York
Even though he denied it to ETonline
("[The rumors] are one hundred percent not true. In fact, it's quite hilarious because we simply danced at a charity event along with a lot of other people." ), In Touch Weekly
claims that Jamie Foxx and Katie Holmes have been secretly dating for a while.
"Katie and Jamie have been dating for a while," an insider reveals to In Touch, adding that Jamie has secretly been spending time at Katie's apartment. "They're very Mission: Impossible about their romance."
A second source confirms to In Touch that one early morning in mid-September, a driver pulled in front of the Trump Soho Hotel, prepared to take Jamie to the set of his new flick Annie -- but was surprised when Katie stepped into the limo instead. "A hotel employee confirmed that Katie had stayed at the hotel with Jamie and that she was taking his car," the second source reveals. "So the driver drove her home to her Chelsea apartment."
If true, this is pretty remarkable for Katie. You couldn't find more of a polar opposite to Tom Cruise than Jamie Foxx. For example: he's black
he doesn't think girls have cooties
, he's Catholic
his master bedroom only has one bed instead of two like on I Love Lucy
, and he's won an Academy Award
he doesn't subscribe to Men's Health for the pictures
. He couldn't be more different!*20 Katie Holmes pictures total in the gallery:
Carmen Electra secretly dating Max George
Carmen Electra is apparently secretly dating The Wanted
frontman Max George (aka the ex of Lindsay Lohan, Nina Agdal, random club sluts everywhere, etc.). And since Max is 25 and Carmen is 41, that means she's officially a cougar now. Congrats. A source told the Daily Star
"When they met in LA they immediately fancied each other but they only swapped numbers at first. Then Max began texting her quite regularly. Soon they started secretly meeting up whenever he was in the States, but tried to keep it low-key. Max has been boasting a lot to his bandmates about pulling Carmen, and they admit they're quite jealous. He even said she might just be his most impressive conquest yet."
Look, I get it. Carmen Electra is still hot as shit. She's one of the all-time hottest bitches of the '90s, but it's 2013 now. If you take a quick peek at Carmen's cock roster, you'll see that Max isn't breaking any kind of new ground here. Bragging about banging Carmen Electra is like bragging about the Big Mac you had for lunch. Newsflash, Max: everyone has had a Big Mac at some point in their lifetime.*10 Carmen Electra pictures total in the gallery:
Cameron Diaz on the set of Sex Tape in Medford/Somerville
Is Benicio Del Toro banging Cameron Diaz? Sure, why not. From the Daily Mail
They've both had their fair share of celebrity romances. So it was only a matter of time until Cameron Diaz and Benicio Del Toro went from friends to something more While the exact status of the pair's relationship is unknown, Cameron did her utmost to keep her head down as she and Benicio enjoyed an evening out together in New York.
The 41-year-old actress wore a sheer white shirt and skinny jeans with black heeled boots for the date night, which saw the pair attend the grand opening of TAO Downtown restaurant. Meanwhile, Benicio, 46, also attempted to go unnoticed as he strolled along slightly behind Cameron and her minder, keeping his head down in a bid to avoid photographers.
Is BDT banging Cameron Diaz? Of course he is, he's Benicio Del Toro, A-lister. Cameron Diaz is just an aging hippy who hasn't accepted her new position in shitty RomComs as the sassy best friend or the horny aunty. Now clearly Mr. Del Toro has nothing to gain by admitting that he injects acting talent into Cameron for shits and giggles, but we can all agree that it's great for Cameron's resume . . . especially after the [INSERT NAME OF EVERY GUY CAMERON HAS EVER DATED] disaster. If I represented Cameron, I'd forego the "leaked" press release confirming the relationship and go directly to printing t-shirts and a hefty Google Ads campaign announcing the dicking. *5 Cameron Diaz pictures total in the gallery:
George Clooney's fuck buddy Monika Jackisic
Earlier this year, before his split
with Stacy Keibler, it was rumored
that George Clooney hooked up with his ex, Croatian model Monika Jakisic, while the two were in London. According to Us Weekly
, the two haven't stopped talking since and even had a slumber party at George's L.A. mansion on Sept. 25. I love slumber parties! Ohhhh, I wonder if they told ghost stories?!?
"They spent hours talking, and have an incredible connection," says the insider. The sexual tension had been building for a while. Back in May, the London-based stunner, 33 -- known as the "Croatian Sensation" -- and the Gravity actor unabashedly flirted at London nightclub Loulou's.
Though he was still dating Stacy Keibler at the time (they split in July after two years of dating), "they danced and held hands," adds the source. "He's been calling and texting her ever since."
Meh. Even though I completely understand that Monika is supposed to be some sort of model, she's kind of a letdown when you stand her up next to
Clooney's ex, Stacy Keibler. Is Monika hot? Yeah, I guess. Monika is hot when stacked up against makeup section cashiers at Macy's, but she's not A-list hot. Her value to the old coot must come from her prostate-milking lesbo fingers and a willingness to please that Stacy "Viagra on Stilts" Keibler never needed to display. Oh, and "Croatian Sensation"? If Monkia Jakisic is considered a sensation in that part of the world, then it's no wonder the former Yugoslavia is only known for exporting shitty cars, AK-47s, and ruthless mobsters. *15 Monika Jakisic pictures total in the gallery:
Dylan Penn at the 65th Primetime Emmy Awards in L.A.
Robert Pattinson has finally moved on from Kristen Stewart and is dating Sean Penn's hot daughter Dylan. That's right, Sean, you dick. Your daughter is getting cored by the Twilight
guy. And she is loving it. An eyewitness tells Life & Style
about the two partying at the Viper Room together earlier this month:
"They were touchy-feely and very flirtatious. There was a level of comfort there," the fellow partygoer explains. "You could tell they've hung out a few times."
But Rob better watch out! Dylan's dad keeps a close watch on his model daughter. "Sean has really high standards for his kids," says a friend. "Any guy who dates Dylan should watch his back and treat her right!"
After the show, Rob led Dylan to a waiting car, which whisked them to Chateau Marmont for drinks and french fries. From there, a group headed back to Rob's home in an exclusive gated community. One onlooker exclusively tells Life & Style, "They went into his kitchen, and he put his arms around her. Then he was kissing her neck and talking all lovey-dovey. It was clear they'd been out together before." When fellow guests left at 5 a.m., Dylan was still there.
So what if Bobby is putting the wood to Dylan Penn? Robert is a movie star; Dylan is an old movie star's kid who hasn't done anything to advance her career except lay down for Dracula over there. Unless her daddy wants to get on the train, Sean's opinion on who she takes the unclipped bologna from is about as valuable as Tara Reid headshots to an A-list casting director. Old man Penn is better served going to Venezuela and being the permanent keeper of murderous dictator Hugo Chavez's eternal flame, because he hasn't exactly been a champion for women's dignity the last few decades. Don't believe me? Fine. Go ahead and Google "Sean Penn abuse" and you'll only get a smidge over 2 million hits on the matter.*10 Dylan Penn pictures total in the gallery: