Helen Mirren


Helen Mirren in Puglia, Italy in 2008

I don't know why the hell you would want this, but Helen Mirren is giving away the famous red bikini she was seen wearing in Italy in 2008. Um, hooray? Via Digital Spy:
Dame Helen Mirren has teamed up with ITV's Daybreak to give away her famous red bikini. The Oscar-winning actress was pictured wearing the bikini while on holiday in Italy in 2008. Speaking in September, Mirren claimed that the images will "haunt" her forever. Money raised from the swimwear will go towards Age UK's 'Spread the Warmth' campaign, which was launched last year in response to the deaths of more than 200 elderly people per day in the cold weather.

Mirren told Daybreak of the photograph's popularity: "It was just one of those tsunami of a kind of a moment in one's life that was out of my control. There was nothing I could do about it and I just had to go with the flow, so to speak. It was kind of a shock that anybody would be remotely interested in what I look like in a bikini, but there you go, it happened and I've been dealing with it ever since!"
Ok, the fun's over. I'm sure some pervert will want that stupid old lady bikini just to smell the bottoms, but Helen Mirren isn't exactly Kate Beckinsale. Those pictures were a nice distraction from the norm and we all masturbated to them, but it's time to flush the toilet on this whole fiasco. What's next? A Judi Dench upskirt? How about a grainy greenlight video of Betty White scissoring Alfre Woodard? Aw god damn it, now I'm hard. I need a tugjob from an arthritic hand.

*5 Helen Mirren pictures total in the gallery:

  • Helen Mirren Famous Red Bikini 1
  • Helen Mirren Famous Red Bikini 2
  • Helen Mirren Famous Red Bikini 3
  • Helen Mirren Famous Red Bikini 4
  • Helen Mirren Famous Red Bikini 5

Helen Mirren in Hawaii in 2008

In a poll conducted by LA Fitness, Helen Mirren was voted "Body of the Year," beating out the likes of [insert Victoria's Secret model here]. In related news, scientists revealed today that people who vote in LA Fitness polls are shockingly retarded. From OK! magazine:
She’s still got it! Helen Mirren has been named “Body of the Year” in an LA Fitness poll, and the 66-year-old actress even beat out Pippa Middleton for the title.

Well done, Helen!

The Oscar-winning actress earned 17.6 percent of the votes in an LA Fitness poll for “Body of the Year,” in which 2,000 people were polled. Helen’s votes surpassed Elle Macpherson, who came in second place. Elle, 48, only received 10 percent of the votes; Kelly Brook placed third, Jennifer Lopez fourth and Cheryl Cole fifth. Pippa, surprisingly, only came in eighth place!
Wait a second -- the person that came in first place for "Body of the Year" is 66-years-old and the second place person is a 48-year-old? Who was L.A Fitness polling, Shady Acres Retirement Home? Where the hell is Brooklyn Decker in this poll? Not only does she have a better body than Helen Mirren, but she's not at risk of breaking her hip if you have rough anal sex with her . . . ain't that right, Brooke? *wink*

*17 Helen Mirren pictures total in the gallery:

  • Helen Mirren Best Body 1
  • Helen Mirren Best Body 2
  • Helen Mirren Best Body 3
  • Helen Mirren Best Body 4
  • Helen Mirren Best Body 5
  • Helen Mirren Best Body 6
  • Helen Mirren Best Body 7
  • Helen Mirren Best Body 8
  • Helen Mirren Best Body 9
  • Helen Mirren Best Body 10
  • Helen Mirren Best Body 11
  • Helen Mirren Best Body 12
  • Helen Mirren Best Body 13
  • Helen Mirren Best Body 14
  • Helen Mirren Best Body 15

Helen Mirren topless in New York magazine

That's Helen Mirren posing topless in the Summer issue of New York magazine. Why? I have absolutely no clue. I think it was on her bucket list.

NOTE: To see the uncensored Helen Mirren topless picture, click the picture above and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.

*4 pics total in the gallery:  

  • Helen Mirren Topless 1
  • Helen Mirren Topless 2
  • Helen Mirren Topless 3
  • Helen Mirren Topless 4

Would You Rather?

Would You Rather...? Spend one night with: