Heidi and Spencer are back
Flynet says that's Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt filming their new reality show in Beverly Hills last week. Aw god dammit. I know we're all disappointed -- even horrified -- to see these two back, but it's important to all stick together and not do anything too crazy . . . *shoots self in head*
*25 Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt pictures total in the gallery:
Paparazzi photos from Wednesday, January 7
Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag arriving at AOL Studios in New York City (pics start here)
Jack Black out and about in L.A. (pics start here)
Emmy Rossum out and about in West Hollywood (pics start here)
Reality star Sam Faiers (The Only Way is Essex) launching her new fitness website "Celebrity Training with Samantha" at the Worx in London (pics start here)
Anne Hathaway arriving at Jimmy Kimmel Live! studios in Hollywood (pics start here)
Nicky Hilton shopping in New York (pics start here)
Josh Duhamel riding his bike in Brentwood (pics start here)
Emma Roberts leaving The Oaks Gourmet in Los Angeles (pics start here)
Daisy Fuentes catching a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)
Matt Damon and his wife Luciana Barroso leaving the Rise Movement gym in L.A. (pics start here)
Alessandra Balazs at the Showtime New Season Presentation in L.A. (pics start here)
Reality star Brandi Glanville (The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills) catching a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)
*104 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:
Malibu Whore Barbie
The internets caught fire this week after Renee Zellweger debuted her new face at the "Women in Hollywood" event on Tuesday. Extra caught up with plastic surgery junkie Heidi Montag -- the one person who can sympathize with Renee now that Joan Rivers is in hell -- and the former Hills star said she feels sad for her. Wait, she's still able to express emotion with her face?:
"I don't know if Renee Zellweger just aged like she said... for me, when I see people who look totally different, I have empathy. I feel I know why I did it, and it kind of brings it back to that time in my life.And why was Extra talking with Heidi Montag? Because she was debuting her new boobs. She went from 32F to 32D. Terrorist bitch. Back problems be damned, that's not the direction you're supposed to go. Heidi Montag: You're dead to me.
"I feel for them, I hope it's the right decision for them and they feel good about it. That's the most important thing, but at the same time my heart goes out to them... it's a hard, life-changing decision... obviously they're unhappy with something. I hope they found their happiness."
*33 Heidi Montag bikini pictures total in the gallery:
Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt in Mexico in 2008
Remember all those cheesy staged photoshoots Heidi and Spencer from The Hills used to do? Turns out they made half a fucking million on them. A year. Of course they blew all the money (in Heidi's case, literally), but still, the two were god damn evil geniuses. From their appearance on Bethenny earlier this week:
Bethenny: First of all you were on every magazine. You must have been stalked by paparazzi. What's that like now? Are they still following you? Do they still take pictures?Just so we're clear, Heidi and Spencer think the reason why they've been reduced to appearing on The Praying Mantis Show is because the economy stinks? Sure, things were better back when MTV created scripted "reality" TV shows like The Hills, but it's not as if Heidi or that albino dick hole of a husband bothered to keep up with what the masses wanted to watch. Anyone from porn actresses, to tire jockeys, to racist pastry chefs can be celebrities -- it just takes a little work (well, I guess selling one's soul probably isn't considered work these days). Do Heidi and Spencer want to get back in the mix of things? Well, whip out the GoPro and film Heidi getting DP'ed by fellow has-beens the Jonas brothers and whoever's left alive from the original cast of the Real World.
Spencer: They were never following us. I was calling them.
Bethenny: You are so honest. I really like that. You were calling them.
Spencer: We were in a partnership with them. There's big money in there. Was. Every photo you take they are selling them to the tabloids so if you partner up with them you get a cut.
Bethenny: Wow you got a deal with them not for holding a product but just for sitting by a pool.
Spencer: Any photo you see. We were making like half a million dollars in photos a year.
Heidi: It's a different economy now, a different market. There's not really that market now. We kind of were at the peak at that time.
*30 Heidi and Spencer pictures total in the gallery:
Heidi Montag breasts in their former glory
Apologies for writing about Heidi Montag twice in one week, but freakishly large breasts fascinate me like nothing else. In the new Us Weekly, Heidi expands on why exactly she got -- and it pains me to even type this combination of words -- a breast reduction:
"[The doctor] told me they were falling through the bottom, and I got scared. It's super dangerous. They can fall through to your belly button! I couldn't conceptualize the weight of them in my body. They felt like bowling balls on my chest ... I'm the new, new, new Heidi! Now my spine doesn't hurt and my neck feels better. It's like I can breath for the first time in years. I am just more comfortable in my skin. And I can wear cuter, tighter shirts. I don't even have to wear a bra!"Uh...why is this person still speaking to me? Heidi committed a mortal sin, according to the Holy Writings of Celebslam -- she lopped her personality enhancers off and is expecting fist bumps for her sacrilege. Hey, if you have the big C or even have it in your family history a la Angelina Jolie, I say start cutting until you hit bone. But if you're a talentless reality star who CHOSE to get her knockers silly-sized, then don't have them reduced and expect to be respected for the decision -- it's just not happening. Now I'll repeat what every elementary school teacher, guidance counselor, and probably a few of her family members have told her over the years and say: Heidi, go away and don't come back unless you have freakishly large tits again. Your personality is about as interesting as watching cream of wheat get cold.
*28 Heidi Montag pictures total in the gallery:
Heidi Montag in Costa Rica in 2010
Heidi Montag has done the unthinkable. No, she hasn't suddenly become likable. She got a breast reduction, going from an F cup to a measly D cup. Sacrilege! From Entertainment Tonight:
"I do regret getting the implants," she candidly admitted to ET. "...My new doctor was like, 'You should never have been allowed by the doctor to get implants this big. ... I put my security and sexuality in my breast size instead of my confidence."Ruptured disk? Muscular damage? Spinal damage? Pinched nerves? None of that justifies removing your circus freak tits, Heidi. Shame on you. God gave you those for a reason, or at least he gave the plastic surgeon the ability to give you those for a reason. And now, you're basically slapping him in the face. I wouldn't be surprised if you get hit by lightning the next time you go out to pick up your food stamps.
As a result of her implants, the 27-year-old reality celebrity says she's experienced major health problems, including a ruptured disc in her neck, muscular and spinal damage to her back, and numbness in her arm due to pinched nerves.
*30 Heidi Montag pictures total in the gallery:
Heidi Montag at the Crazy Horse III in Las Vegas (10/19)
Heidi Montag made a rare appearance on Friday night, hosting the Crazy Horse III Gentlemen's Club's 3-Year Anniversary Party in Las Vegas. And, continuing the theme of everything in her life being an utter disappointment, she was clothed the entire time. Yep, she hosted a strip club party and didn't show off her big ol' fake titties. There's some parts of the South where you can get shot for that (Florida, but that was assumed). Heidi, please go away again. If you make another appearance, it better be in a sex tape where you're getting fucked by a clown or something crazy like that.
*34 Heidi Montag pictures total in the gallery:
Heidi Montag looks like hell
Heidi Montag rose from the grave and celebrated her birthday Friday night at the Hard Rock's Vanity nightclub in Las Vegas. Wow, her face looks . . . wow. And since women who get a lot of plastic surgery are known to age gracefully over time (just like Joan Rivers), I bet she looks like a beautiful, elegant princess in 25 years. Let's meet back at this post in 2036 and see if I was right.
*30 Heidi Montag pictures total in the gallery:
Heidi Montag bikini pics!
Here's some pics of Heidi Montag hosting the "Sexy Poolside Affair" at Wet Republic at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas on Saturday. Wow, we haven't seen her big ol' fake titties in a long time. I'm not exactly sure where she went, but judging by the picture above, she was away at finishing school. Remember Heidi, a true lady always keeps her pinky out when pouring champagne over herself. Especially with so many gentleman callers on hand.
*57 Heidi Montag bikini pictures total in the gallery:
Paparazzi photos from Wednesday, April 6
Heidi Montag filming her new reality show in West Hollywood (pics start here)
Anna Torv filming Fringe in Vancouver (pics start here)
Mandy Moore volunteering at the San Diego Food Bank (pics start here)
Camilla Belle arriving at the Staples Center in L.A. (pics start here)
Jordana Brewster leaving Whole Foods in Brentwood (pics start here)
Emma Stone leaving a pilates studio in West Hollywood (pics start here)
Angelina Jolie arriving for a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)
Christina Ricci arriving at LAX airport (pics start here)
Courtney Thorne-Smith at the Brentwood Country Mart (pics start here)
James Van Der Beek and Krysten Ritter filming their new show Don't Trust the Bitch in Apartment 23 in New York (pics start here)
Kelly Ripa unveiling her new wax figure at Madame Tussauds Wax Museum in New York (pics start here)
Taylor Swift shopping at Anthropologie in Beverly Hills (pics start here)
Kim Kardashian leaving a gym in Studio City (pics start here)
Kristin Cavallari leaving Jack n' Jill's restaurant in Beverly Hills (pics start here)
*124 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery: