Heidi Klum arriving to her 14th Annual Halloween party at Marquee in New York (10/31)
Heidi Klum is known for her epic Halloween costumes (see here, here, here, here, and here), and her ridiculously-authentic old woman outfit last night was no different. Utilizing the talents of Oscar-award winning makeup artist Bill Corso and Boardwalk Empire/Black Swan/Men in Black 3 pro Mike Marino, Heidi once again one-upped everyone at her annual Halloween party in New York, In fact, she was so convincing as a wrinkly old woman that Ashton Kutcher married her.
*35 Heidi Klum Halloween pictures total in the gallery:
Heidi Klum leaving her hotel in New York (8/7)
Note to Blurred Lines singer Robin Thicke: If you want to bang Heidi Klum, she's all yours. From Life & Style:
After the handsome crooner performed his new hit, "Blurred Lines," on the July 31 episode of America's Got Talent, supermodel turned judge Heidi was left blushing!Yeah, I noticed it, too. After Robin finished his performance and the judges gave him the standing ovation, Heidi struggled to stand because her moistened girl parts got suction cupped to her seat. It was embarrassing watching her struggle to unlatch from that leather chair -- even with both hands, it was like trying to open an airplane door at 35,000 feet. Thank the Good Lord that Howie Mandel keeps a giant novelty spatula handy for such occasions. He broke Heidi loose, although the chair did have to be scrapped. See? Who said hacky prop comics are useless assholes? Well, I did, obviously.
"He's a sexy guy with a beautiful voice," Heidi tells the new issue Life & Style, on newsstands now. "He knows how to dance and he's very kind of sure of himself, which I like in a guy," the mom of four dished. He is such a humble guy ... He's not bad to look at!"
*20 Heidi Klum pictures total in the gallery:
Heidi Klum topless in Porto Cervo, Sardinia in 2011
The internets caught on fire over the weekend when Heidi Klum posted a topless picture of herself hugging a tree to facebook (here). Whatever, ain't my first topless rodeo, Heidi told Extra earlier this week.
"I grew up, you know, running around topless. And I still do."What can I say about Heidi Klum that will shock any of you? The lady married a monster because she loves giant dongs and she's currently fucking the help, so the fact that mum Klum snaps pics of her daughter's goodies doesn't come as much of a surprise. The only thing that surprises me about this is that it took so long. Other stage moms in the Lohan and Kardashian ilk have been lowering the bar for years -- from being their daughter's drinking buddy to directing their porn careers -- so it's high time to shit or get off the pot.
The pic, which got 12,000 likes, was taken while she was vacationing with her family in Bora Bora. As for who took the picture, Klum revealed, "The photographer was my mom. I took the same photo of my mom. She was wearing a bathing suit."
*36 Heidi Klum pictures total in the gallery:
Heidi Klum and Martin Kristen at Hudson River Park in New York (6/20)
The good news for Martin Kristen? Heidi Klum wants to marry him. The bad news? There will be no suckling off her teet after the inevitable divorce in a few years. From the National Enquirer:
Heidi Klum has agreed to marry her bodyguard boyfriend Martin Kirsten, sources say, but only if he signs an ironclad prenuptial agreement that gives him absolutely nothing! "Martin and Heidi had a huge fight after she said she probably wouldn't get married again," said a source close to her. "But Heidi doesn't want to lose Martin because she loves him, and so do her kids."I'm no lawyer, but I recommend that Martin go ahead and sign anything Heidi puts in front of him, no matter how "iron clad" it seems at the time. Why? Because no prenuptial agreement between a winner (e.g., Heidi) and a loser (e.g., Martin Kristen) has ever held up in divorce court -- EVER (now I know some of you will point out Fat Kim Kardashian and her idiot ex-husband, Kris, but technically you're wrong -- neanderthals aren't entitled to rights reserved for humans). Marty needs to get hitched and stay hitched for about three years, four if he's really greedy. But if Martin can hit the magical half-decade mark, he may not only get half of Heidi's shit, but might also be entitled to a very nice alimony for the rest of his life. God bless divorce law if your wife is a rich supermodel and God bless America.
Heidi, 40, and Martin, 45, have exchanged gold "promise" rings, but sources say Heidi won't walk down the aisle a third time unless Martin signs a strict agreement to keep him from touching a penny of her $70 million fortune. "That's all held in trust for her family," said the insider. (Print Edition - 7/22)
*15 Heidi Klum and Martin Kristen pictures total in the gallery:
Heidi Klum in Paradise Island, Bahamas (7/6)
Gonna be posting a lot of bikini pics the next few days as I catch up on the holiday weekend. Like of Heidi Klum and her terrible hair in the Bahamas over the weekend. Heidi, you're only a few years removed from full-fledged supermodel status. Leave that braiding crap to the 11-year-olds and fat housewives from Ohio. Knock that smirk off your face, Florida. I got a joke about the mentally handicapped coming up with your name written all over it.
*30 Heidi Klum bikini pictures total in the gallery:
Heidi Klum Bar Pitti in New York (6/25)
MY CAPTION: If you think that's impressive, you should see what she can do with a bratwurst
YOUR CAPTION: Leave it in the comments...
*15 Heidi Klum pictures total in the gallery:
Heidi Klum out and about in New York (6/23)
Tattoos are forever . . . except if you split up. Like Eva Longoria did a few years ago, Heidi Klum is getting the abstract tattoo she got as a commemoration of her vow renewal with Seal removed. So I think this rules out a reconciliation. From People:
"It was our fourth wedding, and we wanted to have our names tattooed together," Klum said in 2008. "So it's my husband's name and our three children - their initials, in the [three] stars."Why even bother? It's not as if the world doesn't know who Heidi was married to before she started fucking the help. Is keeping your ex's brand shameful? Hell, Heidi was the one who informed the world that the thing that attracted her to Seal was the giant bulge in his bike shorts, so the dignity train left the station a long time ago. Heidi might as well get a tattoo of a demarcation point just past her belly button that says "Seal Was Here" as a way to keep stats. Personally, I think Heidi should be a team player and at least keep the tat for the sake of race relations in Europe.
Now, Klum, who filed for divorce from Seal, 50, in April 2012 after seven years of marriage, "is in the process of getting her tattoo removed," a source tells People. "She's been through a few treatments. The stars with her children's initials will stay intact."
*15 Heidi Klum pictures total in the gallery:
Heidi Klum and Martin Kristen shopping in New York (6/11)
Heidi Klum and her bodyguard-boyfriend Martin Kristen got into a huge public fight Sunday night in New York. This Martin dude better tread carefully. It would suck to get dumped and fired at the same time. From the New York Post:
Heidi Klum got into an alcohol-fueled argument with her bodyguard boyfriend at [The Spotted Pig] before he stormed out, leaving her behind. A fellow diner tells us of the drama, "They had been drinking with a male friend at a table, and things became heated very quickly."Germany has made great contributions to the world culture, from the Mercedes-Benz SLS to that chicken fucking video that set the interwebs on fire, so how does Martin repay the one who decided to employ him during these economically rough times? With disrespect and ungratefulness. Martin Kristen should have been "yes, ma'aming" the shit out of Heidi, but his ugly arrogance couldn't be held in check. Seal was right -- Heidi should have taken his classy advice to not "fuck the help" to heart. Next time he raises his voice to Heidi, he's gonna find his ass on a slow boat back to South Africa. And yes, German chicks who look like Heidi can legally deport people from America. They can do whatever the fuck they want. Here, take my lunch money and virginity.
The spy said that after an hour of arguing, an upset Klum abruptly walked out of the restaurant alone and stumbled down the block trying unsuccessfully to hail a cab. Finally, she returned to the eatery, "but stubbornly refused to go inside and rejoin Martin at the table," said the witness, who added Klum "stood in the doorway looking upset."
Kristen eventually went outside to speak to her. Further words were exchanged before he left alone.
*15 Heidi and Martin pictures total in the gallery:
Paparazzi photos from Wednesday, May 29
Heidi Klum (40th birthday on June 1) at a photocall for Germany's Next Top Model in Berlin (pics start here)
Julianne Hough leaving a gym in Studio City (pics start here)
Cara Santana arriving at a gym in Studio City (pics start here)
Halle Berry dropping her kid off at school in Los Angeles (pics start here)
Gwen Stefani picking up her son at school in Los Angeles (pics start here)
Rose McGowan leaving Drybar hair salon in West Hollywood (pics start here)
Liam Hemsworth leaving a gym in West Hollywood (pics start here)
Kourtney Kardashian out and about in Malibu (pics start here)
Ryan Lochte at swimming competition in Vancouver (pics start here)
Selma Blair out and about in Hollywood (pics start here)
Socialite Petra Ecclestone shopping in Beverly Hills (pics start here)
Cher leaving on a flight at LAX (pics start here)
*116 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:
Heidi Klum at the Versus Versace launch at the Lexington Avenue Armory in New York (5/15)
+ Seems like a fun way to die [BroBible]
+ Fat chick jumping over fire pit goes wrong [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Emma Watson looking all sultry [Popoholic]
+ Katharina Damm goes topless surfing (NSFW) [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Amanda Seyfried is really good at advertising [Guyism]
+ That is some amazing mother-daughter bonding [Cele|bitchy]
+ Um, I don't think they have Kirstie Alley's size [Evil Beet]
+ Now those are some boobs [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
+ Fatty! [I'm Not Obsessed]
BIKINI PICS OF THE DAY: Shay Maria dancing in a bikini
*10 Heidi Klum no bra pictures total in the gallery: