Halle Berry

Halle Berry at Disneyland in Anaheim (1/14)

Faking a broken foot just so you can cut to the front of the line on every ride is a new kind of low. You disgust me, Halle. You disgust me to hell.

UPDATE: Turns out Halle's foot actually is broken and she really did need the scooter to get around . . . pussy.

*44 Halle Berry pictures total in the gallery:

Halle Berry shopping at Bristol Farms in Beverly Hills (1/9)

Halle Berry is engaged to her boyfriend of a year Olivier Martinez. A boyfriend, I might add, that she's had premarital sex with on more than one occasion. The whore. From Us Weekly:

Over the holidays, Martinez, 46, proposed with an emerald-and-diamond ring from Gurhan. She first met French actor Martinez while working on the film Dark Tide; they stepped out as a couple in fall 2010. He previously dated Australian pop star Kylie Minogue for several years before splitting in 2007.

A source tells Us she "had given up on being married, but she trusts Olivier. He makes her feel safe. He's a keeper!"

Halle's been married twice before (to David Justice and Eric Benet), so I don't know why she's jumping into marriage with Olivier after only a year. It's so weird that Halle would make a rash decision based purely on emotion and absent of all logic. That's so unlike a woman.

*15 Halle Berry pictures total in the gallery:

Jennifer Aniston is not hotter than Halle Berry

I demand a recount! This is a bigger injustice than Florida 2000. From a Fitness magazine poll asking readers about the "Best Celebrity Bodies of 2011":

Fit Over 40

Jennifer Aniston scores again proving you can look hot at any age.

Which female star over 40 has the best body?
Jennifer Aniston...25%
Halle Berry...24%
Jennifer Lopez...22%
Demi Moore...19%
Gwen Stefani...6%
Courteney Cox...4%

As someone who saw Halle's body naked in Swordfish on the big screen (see here - NSFW), I can tell you unequivocally that she has a better body than Jennifer Aniston -- or any other chick not named Sofia Vergara. On a related note, I can also tell you that the punishment for getting caught once beating off in a movie theater isn't nearly as bad as you'd think. Twice is an entirely different story . . .

*35 Halle Berry pictures total in the gallery:

Halle Berry on the set of Cloud Atlas in Glasgow, Scotland (9/18)

Halle Berry broke her foot earlier this morning in Spain. Oh great, I hope she doesn't get fat now. From TMZ:

Halle was on the property where she's staying and simply took a misstep.  She heard a crack and then felt the pain.  Halle went to the hospital, where doctors put her foot in a cast. She was taken out of the hospital in a wheelchair.

As for the movie she's currently shooting -- "Cloud Atlas" -- sources say the immediate plan is to shoot around her.  We're told that will be a combination of things -- shooting her from the waist up, using a stunt double, and shooting scenes for the next week or two in which Halle does not appear.

A misstep? Oh yes, how very convenient. Especially if you're trying to cover for your high profile secret boyfriend -- a secret boyfriend who also happens to be dangerously violent and abusive. Isn't that right PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA!!!

*20 Halle Berry pictures total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Saturday, August 27 and Sunday, August 28

Halle Berry running errands in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Brad Pitt and Mireille Enos filming World War Z in Glasgow, Scotland (pics start here)

Victoria Silvstedt at the Hotel Cala di Volpe in Porto Cervo, Italy (pics start here)

Sara Paxton at the "Swimming with the Sharks" pool party at the Shangri-La hotel in Santa Monica (pics start here)

Cindy Crawford leaving the Malibu Country Mart (pics start here)

Zach Galifianakis out and about in Brentwood (pics start here)

Rihanna shopping in Porto Cervo, Italy (pics start here)

Tori Spelling and her kids Liam and Stella leaving the Malibu Country Mart (pics start here)

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries arriving on a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)

Jennifer Garner out and about in Santa Monica (pics start here)

Katie Holmes leaving an office building in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

David Beckham at the beach in Malibu (pics start here)

Julie Bowen at the premiere of The Lion King 3D at the El Capitan Theatre in Hollywood (pics start here)

Ryan Gosling arriving on a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)

*117 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Tuesday, August 23

Halle Berry picking her daughter up from school in L.A. (pics start here)

Eva Longoria on the set of Desperate Housewives in L.A. (pics start here)

Jennifer Love Hewitt leaving her house in L.A. (pics start here)

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries arriving for a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)

Emma Roberts and Chord Overstreet leaving Joan's On Third after lunch in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Marcia Cross leaving Whole Foods in Brentwood (pics start here)

Jason Bateman jogging in the Hollywood Hills (pics start here)

Nicole Richie leaving a gym in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Victoria Justice arriving on a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)

Hilary Duff heading to a friend's house in Toluca Lake (pics start here)

Ellen Pompeo leaving a hair salon in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Carla Gugino leaving the Urth Caffe in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Paris Hilton Leaving Toast Bakery Cafe in West Hollywood (pics start here)

*121 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Wednesday, August 17

Halle Berry leaving her daughter Nahla's school in L.A. (pics start here)

Julianna Margulies on the set of The Good Wife in New York (pics start here)

JoJo outside Katsuya in Hollywood (pics start here)

Jessica Simpson and her fiancé Eric Johnson out and about in Century City (pics start here)

Kelly Rowland at a preview screening of The X Factor at the O2 Arena in London (pics start here)

Whitney Port leaving Coffee Bean in Hollywood (pics start here)

Gerard Butler arriving at LAX airport for a flight (pics start here)

Reese Witherspoon and family on vacation in Hawaii (pics start here)

Rachel Hunter leaving Liquid Juice Bar in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Nicole Richie leaving a gym in Studio City (pics start here)

Alyson Hanigan out and about in Santa Monica (pics start here)

Adam Brody leaving Pink's Hot Dogs in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Audrina Patridge arriving at LAX airport for a flight (pics start here)

Actor Amaury Nolasco at Subway in West Hollywood (pics start here)

*145 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

Halle Berry bikini pics! (Malibu - 8/14)

Halle Berry donned her finest bikini and went to the beach in Malibu yesterday. Clearly sensing that not enough tomfoolery was afoot, at one point during the day, Halle's friend grabbed her from behind and wrestled her into the water. Funny, this is almost exactly the same scenario that played out in my dream last night . . . wait a minute, did this friend have a chloroform-soaked rag in her back pocket and a windowless van idling nearby?

*50 Halle Berry bikini pictures total in the gallery:

Halle Berry looks like a young boy

PICTURED: Halle Berry leaving Bristol Farms in West Hollywood yesterday, celebrating "National Unsexy Haircut Day." Seriously, what the fuck is that Halle? Can you put in a little effort?

*21 Halle Berry pictures total in the gallery:

Halle Berry at the FiFi Awards in New York (5/25)

Halle Berry had the living shit scared out of her yesterday when she looked out the kitchen window of her Beverly Hills home and saw a man staring back at her. Yikes. From TMZ:

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ ... Halle was in her kitchen yesterday when she looked out the window and saw a man staring at her ... holding some sort of book. Halle ran to the phone, called 911 and the chase began.  An LAPD helicopter circled Halle's home and the area nearby for nearly half an hour, trying in vain to locate the trespasser.   A number of officers in squad cars were on the hunt as well.

Sources say the suspect is the same guy who jumped Halle's security wall on Saturday, triggering the first 911 call.

A book? That wasn't a book -- that was a bus schedule. You see, my car started making this funny noise last week so I had to take it into the shop on Friday. Ohhh, I hope it's ready soon.

*20 Halle Berry pictures total in the gallery: