Archive: Halle Berry

Halle Berry and family and the L.A. Zoo (8/30)

+ Another score for the gold diggers of the world [Dlisted]

+ Charlize Theron is beautiful [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Hilary Swank Bikini Pictures [Egotastic!]
+ Guess those sexy celebrity legs! [Bastardly]
+ Your Jessica Alba smoking hot pic of the week [College Humor]

+ Blake Lively forgot her pants [Hollywood Tuna]
+ Elizabeth Hurley never dissapoints [Popoholic]
+ God I hate these bitches [I’m Not Obsessed]
+ John Mayer gets back to work [Pink Is The New Blog]

+ Madonna’s crotch mandala [CityRag]
+ Guy Ritchie won’t renew vows with Madonna [A Socialite’s Life]
+ Kristen Bell is rather attractive [Yeeeah!]
+ You, too, can smell like Victoria Beckham [popbytes]

[BauerGriffinOnline]

It’s official: Halle Berry is the hottest MILF in the world

That’s Halle Berry at the Silver Rose Awards last night in Beverly Hills, her first public appearance since having her baby in mid-March. As you can see, she’s still obscenely hot. You think I have a shot? I’m the perfect package: handsome, smart, funny, and almost disease free. I’m gonna send her another letter signed in my own blood — women are suckers for that type of romantic gensture.

[Getty]

Halle Berry at an ACLU dinner in Beverly Hills (12/10)

Halle Berry’s boobs have gotten so big over these past few months that it’s kinda hard to take her seriously now. I actually feel kinda bad for her. Halle could hold a press conference to announce her discovery of both Atlantis and the real killers of JFK and the only thing going through my mind would be “Boooooooooooooooooooooooooobs.” And I’d have drool coming out of my mouth.

Halle Berry at the London premiere of Things We Lost In The Fire

If this blue dress is Halle Berry’s way of making amends for last weeks anti-semitic joke on The Tonight Show, then let me be the first to say, Halle, all is forgiven. Is there anything I can get for you? Water? A snack? My wallet? The deed to my home? A lung? You need anyone killed?

Halle Berry offends Jews

Halle Berry sat down with Jay Leno last Friday to talk about her pregnancy, new movie Things We Lost in the Fire, and Jews having big noses. Oops, that last part was edited out of the broadcast. The New York Post says:

The Oscar-winning star, on the show to promote her movie “Things We Lost in the Fire,” was showing Leno and his audience images of herself on her computer using the Mac program Photo Booth, which distorts images like a carnival fun-house mirror. According to one audience member, “She introduced the first photo by saying, ‘Here’s where I look like my Jewish cousin!’ - it was a picture of her with a huge, distorted nose. No one laughed, and Jay nervously said, ‘I’m glad you said that and not me.’ When the show aired, they cut out her ‘Jewish’ comment and added a laugh track to the bit.”

Another guest in the audience told us, “If you watch the clip, you can see Halle saying the word ‘Jewish,’ though obviously there is no audio. NBC covered her ass. Ms. Berry should know how unbelievably inappropriate her comment was . . . She should be ashamed of herself.” Berry, 41, who sounded like she was near tears, told Page Six last night: “I so didn’t mean to offend anybody - and after the show I realized it could be seen as offensive, so I asked Jay to take it out, and he did.” (Source)

Great idea Halle insulting the group that inappropriate stereotypes taught me run Hollywood. Can you say “Career Suicide?” I see Halle’s future filled with crappy roles in movies such as Cat Woman, Die Another Day and . . . wait a minute . . . are we sure she made these comments yesterday and not four years ago? Really? Ehhh screw it Halle, your career’s already in the toilet–unleash your inner Mel Gibson!

NOTE: At least her pregnancy boobs are big

Halle Berry’s makes anti-semitic joke on Tonight Show

Halle Berry outside the David Letterman Show on Monday

I didn’t realize it until I saw these pictures but Halle Berry is definitely my favorite actress in Hollywood. What other star can match her huge boobs talent, huge boobs personality, huge boobs and range? She’s also easy on the eyes but, c’mon, I don’t want to objectify her!

NOTE: I reserve my right to retract these comments during Halle’s third trimester when she lets herself go

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Ending months of speculation, Halle Berry confirmed that she’s three months pregnant with boyfriend Sawyer from Lost Gabriel Aubry’s baby. In an email to Access Hollywood’s Nancy O’Dell, Halle wrote:

“Yes, I am three months pregnant! Gabriel and I are beyond excited, and I’ve waited a long time for this moment in life. Now the next seven months will be the longest of my life!” she wrote to Nancy. “Can’t wait to see you and give you a squeeze and see a pic of your little sweetie. Until then, you heard it from ME first!” (Source)

Wait a minute, 10 months? So she’s giving birth to a horse? Or maybe she’s just really bad at math. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been tripped up adding tough numbers like three and seven . . . wait, oh yeah, that’s never actually happened. Ummm, Gabriel might wanna put safety covers on Halle’s outlets for the next six months or so.

We can only hope that Halle’s pregnancy turns out as well as Salma Hayek’s *wink*wink*

Halle Berry shopping in Hollywood

More Halle Berry pictures after the jump…

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Is Halle Berry’s recent interview with Esquire magazine her last ever? According to Halle, it is. The actress says she’s looking forward to a life free of media worries (EDITORS NOTE: *cough*liar*cough*):

“. . . no more pressure to come up with an excuse as to why I don’t have a baby at forty, and finally, no more giving a magazine the power to paint a portrait of me that was just not true.” (Source)

OK, I don’t normally do this *but* I’ll make an exception this time only (no emails please). Halle, if you want a baby, I’ll help you out. You see, I have a bit of a reputation ’round these parts as someone who stands up for not only people like yourself but for the little guy as well, a “champion of the downtrodden … and hot chicks” if you will. I see someone in need and I happily extend my “olive branch.” Some call me a superhero, others a philanthropist, but deep down inside I’m just your normal/average guy … who desperately wants to deposit my seed within you. Seriously, please?

In an interview published in Sunday’s Parade Magazine Halle Berry admitted that she tried to commit suicide after her marriage to Atlanta Braves’ star David Justice ended in 1996. According to Halle:

“I was sitting in my car, and I knew the gas was coming when I had an image of my mother finding me. She sacrificed so much for her children, and to end my life would be an incredibly selfish thing to do … It was all about a relationship. My sense of worth was so low,” she said. “I had to reprogram myself to see the good in me. Because someone didn’t love me didn’t mean I was unlovable. I promised myself I would never be a coward again.” (Source)

Damn, Halle Berry tried to f’ing kill herself. This may throw a bit of a wrench into my bedtime fantasies about her. Normally Halle plays the role of the “busty motorist stranded on the side of the highway willing to do anything to get a ride to the next town” not the “emotionally unstable divorcee who views suicide as a rational option to ending her troubles.” Oh well, I’ll just use my old standy Jessica Alba fantasy tonight. In it, Jessica plays the role of the “busty motorist stranded on the side of the highway willing to do anything to get a ride to the next town.” Yeah, I know, I’m not very creative. But sometimes it’s hard to think with all the blood rushing from my head to other sexier parts of my body.