Guy Ritchie leaving the Punch Bowl pub in London (11/5)
Guy Ritchie got absolutely wasted last night at his pub in London. It must be nice owning your own pub. Also nice? Cashmere. It's so soft!
[WENN, Flynet]
Jude Law, Robert Downey Jr., and Guy Ritchie out in London (10/23)
+ Blake Lively and her shitty see through shirt [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Jessica Biel Brings Her Hotness to Marie Claire [Egotastic!]
+ Charlize Theron is simply beautiful [Just Jared]
+ WHEN CLEAVAGES COLLIDE! [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Billy Ray Cyrus gave Miley "the talk" [The Blemish]
+ 5 Things That Have Been Found In Fat People's Skin Folds [Holy Taco]
+ Good GOD those are some huge boobs (SFW) [Double Viking]
+ Tom Cruise is gonna get torn apart at this roast [Cele|bitchy]
+ Carmen Electra is your afternoon pick-me-up [F-Listed]
Kelly Reilly at the BAFTA awards in London (2/10)
Guy Ritchie has already moved on from Madonna. Us Weekly claims he's banging British actress Kelly Reilly who, according to my rough calculations and preschool-level understanding of numbers, is 50 kajillion times hotter than Madonna. From the mag:
A source tells Us Ritchie has already entered a relationship with British actress Kelly Reilly, who is starring in his upcoming drama Sherlock Holmes. On Oct. 18 - three days after he announced he and Madonna were divorcing - he sent his driver back to his $12 million home in London’s Marylebone district "very last-minute" to pack an overnight bag for a stay at a nearby Chatham hotel — where Reilly is residing. (Source)
Not bad for Guy's first post-Madonna hookup. Of course, considering he used to be married to Madonna, I'd say the same thing if he stuck his penis into a blender. "Damn, that blender was fucking sexy! Six speeds, too!"
[WENN]
Guy Ritchie celebrating his 40th birthday at his pub in London ()
News of the World is alleging that the last time Madonna and Guy Ritchie had sex was sometime in early 2007. Why? Because Madonna's such a musclebound freak of course. From the tabloid:
As their relationship went into meltdown the musclebound singer insisted on sticking to her strict four-hour daily exercise regime despite Guy’s pleas they should spend more time together. It meant the film director went 18 months without having sex with his wife. And on the rare occasions when they did make love, he has told pals it was like "cuddling up to a piece of gristle".A close friend of the couple told us: "He got more and more frustrated as she spent nearly half the day working out. Afterwards she'd be too tired to make love.And towards the end Guy wouldn’t be there. He’d get fed up waiting for her and go down the pub with his mates." (Source)
Have you ever seen a fire hydrant knocked over by a car? It's incredible how high the stream of water shoots out of the ground, usually drenching anyone within twenty feet. All you single ladies in London might want to keep that image in your head before you decide to hook up with Guy Ritchie.
Madonna and Guy Ritchie in 2007
adonna is set to claim that Guy Ritchie was verbally abusive to her during their eight-year marriage. Guy allegedly told the singer she looked like a "granny" on stage, couldn't act, and was "past it" after she turned 50 -- all comments that made Madonna feel "worthless, unattractive, unfeminine, insecure and isolated." A source close to the couple told the Daily Mail:
"It might seem incredible that Madonna should be suggesting Guy was the dominant one in this marriage and that she was somehow the belittled party. But the thing about divorce is that there are always two very different perceptions of what went on.It frequently happens when the wife sits down with her legal team and starts working out a strategy to build a picture of the husband being some kind of unreasonable belligerent monster. The lawyers concentrate on a few regrettable incidents or exchanges and form a picture of the husband based just on that and all the good times are forgotten."In this case, Guy has come out rather badly. They concentrate on the belittling comments Guy has made to Madonna. There were times where he would ridicule her humour and say how Americans had no sense of humour. He would laugh sarcastically at her jokes and take the mickey out of her in front of other people. Also brought up are times when they went out for a meal where Madonna would accuse him of eyeing up a waitress." (Source)
Guy "Emotional Retard" Ritchie is my new hero. After all the denials by Madge's reps, it turns out that Guy really doesn't like "The Special Belt." Truth be told, it wasn't about the emotional neglect, or the ever ending publicity stunts, or his being opposed to A-Rod deep-dicking his wife. Guy just think he shouldn't be married to someone who looks like bacon that's been left in hot water.
Madonna and Guy Ritchie shortly after the fall in 2005
It turns out it wasn't A-Rod that broke up Madonna's marriage. It was a horse. Of course. Apparently Madonna was less than pleased with Guy's "unsympathetic" reaction to her falling off a horse and breaking eight bones in 2005. A close family friend told The Sun:
"From the moment Madonna fell from that horse, their marriage was doomed. If you can pinpoint an exact event or incident which spelled the death knell for them as a couple, Madonna's horse-riding accident was it. Every other row the couple had following that boiled down to what happened that summer."Madonna was in a huge amount of pain and expected Guy to drop everything to be at her bedside. In her mind that is what every husband should do to support his wife when she has been through a traumatic, possibly life-threatening, experience. But Guy approached the whole thing in what she now calls, 'A very British way'. Instead of smothering her with sympathy he said, 'Come on darling, you're a tough bird. You'll be back on the horse in no time'. Guy's approach was that a few broken bones is no big deal – and that there was no point in making a drama out of a crisis. But in Madonna's mind, she could have been killed, and she wanted the full works and to be lavished with love and attention." (Source)
I'm sure a horse ruined Madonna . . . and his name was Dennis Rodman. That guy made it impossible for her to be happy with any man not wielding 14 inches of man-meat. Besides, can you really blame Guy for not being more sympathetic towards Madonna when she broke a couple of bones? She's had more bones inside of her than Arlington National Cemetery.
Madonna and Guy Ritchie are divorcing
adonna's rep confirmed today that Guy Ritchie and her are divorcing:
"Madonna and Guy Ritchie have agreed to divorce after 7 1/2 years of marriage, their representatives confirmed today. They have both requested that the media maintain respect for their family at this difficult time." (Source)
Part of me is happy to hear this news because Madonna is such a bitch. Then again, another part of me is ecstatic to hear this news because Madonna is such a miserable twat. I just don't know how I'll ever reconcile these feelings.
[WENN, Splash News]
Madonna at a screening of Filth and Wisdom in New York (10/13)
The Madonna-Guy Ritchie divorce rumors are heating up again. UK tabloid The Sun claims a statement about the couple's divorce has already been prepared and will be released imminently. It's alleged that Madonna's desire to adopt another kid and the amount of time Guy and her spend on their careers has been causing more and more friction between the couple lately. A source told the tabloid:
"It's very sad. They were a great couple and brilliant parents. They just couldn't live together any more. Despite huge attempts to patch things up they both knew deep down that divorce was on the cards. It wasn't a matter of 'if' but 'when'. They tried hard over the last few months but their fighting was getting out of control. The final straw came before Madonna started her US tour. Madonna wanted a highly stage-managed separation, with their split being announced when it was convenient for her. She didn’t want the distraction while she is trying to concentrate on her tour.But a series of rows around Guy’s 40th birthday last month were so bad that Madge ended up storming out of the house and Guy’s had enough."Guy said if they were going to split, it has to be now — and their marriage will finally be over in a matter of weeks. Madonna was dithering at first about whether a separation would be best or whether to go ahead with the divorce. She has now agreed with Guy that a divorce is the best thing to do." (Source)
This is probably a smart move by Madonna. I've always maintained that what the dating scene lacks is hot, single, 50-year-old moms, with biceps you could crack walnuts in. I mean, in just 15 years, she'll be eligible for Social Security. How hot is that!
Madonna and Guy Ritchie not wearing their wedding rings
Fueling rumors that a split is imminent, both Madonna and her husband Guy Ritchie were spotted without their wedding rings over the weekend (Madonna in New York and Guy in London). Ritchie is supposedly flying to New York this week in an attempt to work things out with his wife -- though he's been advised by her doctors to use terms like "reconcile" and "conciliate" when he meets with her. Apparently if you use the words "work" and "out" near Madonna, she totally freaks out. "Work out?!? Gym?!? Where?!? MUST . . . LIFT . . . SOMETHING . . . HEAVY . . . REPEATEDLY."
But they look so happy . . .
There's been talk over the last few months that Madonna and Guy Ritchie's seven-year marriage was falling apart and the two were on the verge of a split. A source revealed to UK tabloid the Daily Mirror that the rumors aren't rumor: the two are definitley divorcing:
Madonna told Guy Ritchie she wants a divorce after the couple agreed they had fallen out of love. They admitted to each other that their seven-year marriage was doomed because they had simply drifted apart.A friend said last night: "They were both very calm. Madonna told Guy: 'I'm sorry, I want a divorce'. And he agreed. It was quite painless but very sad. [Guy's] a bit down in the dumps, and who can blame him. He's off to the country to get a bit of peace and quiet."
Both parties have now talked to divorce lawyers to ensure that the break-up is orderly and as amicable as possible. Without a pre-nuptial agreement, Guy could be looking at up to £50million of Madge's £300million fortune. (Source)
The most heartbreaking aspect of this whole divorce is that their son Rocco will now be forced to grow up in a broken home. I guess he better get used to asking one important question over and over and over and over again: "Excuse me mister, are you my new daddy?"
NOTE: Now that she's no longer married to Guy, I wonder if Madonna will drop his last name . . . along with his accent?
[WENN]
