Guy Ritchie

Guy Ritchie leaving his pub in London (6/30)

Guy Ritchie must be the happiest drunk I've ever seen. Every time he gets drunk (here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here), he looks like a kid on Christmas morning, a kid with parents who care and buy him cool shit he actually wants like a Nintendo or kick-ass G.I. Joes and not dumb stuff like shirts with sailboats on them that all the other kids at school make fun of him over and call him a fag and the name sticks and he's called 'sailboat fag' well into high school I hate you mom and dad die die die. Whoa, sorry about that. My therapist says it's healthy to just let it go sometimes.

Guy Ritchie is drunk

The rumors are true: owning your own pub kicks some serious ass. That's Guy Ritchie leaving his Punch Bowl pub in London Tuesday, presumably not after being thrown out because he was too drunk.

Guy Ritchie leaving The Punch Bowl pub in London (3/23)

No need to drown your miseries in booze, Guy. We all had Wake Forest reaching the Sweet 16.

Guy Ritchie leaving Scott's restaurant in London (3/17)

I'm concerned about Guy. This is only the second time this month I've seen him completely wasted. I fear we may be losing him to his work. Dammit Guy, LIVE!

Guy Ritchie and Elle Macpherson leaving the Notting Hill Brassiere restaurant in London (3/16)

Guy Ritchie has a huge smile on his face because he had dinner last night with Elle Macpherson in London. Schwing! From the Daily Mail:

Guy and Elle must have had a lot to talk about, as the pair stayed in each other's company until 12.30am  -  leaving separately to avoid being photographed together. And judging by the smirks on their faces, the night went rather well. (Source)

Wow, what an upgrade from Madonna. To put this in baseball terms -- as I try to do with nearly everything in my life --banging Elle Macpherson is like hitting a game-winning grand slam in the bottom of the ninth inning of the seventh game of the World Series. Banging Madonna is equivalent to getting raped with a bat.

Guy Ritchie leaving The Punch Bowl pub in London (3/3)

Man, it must be nice being Guy Ritchie right now. Getting drunk every night, waking up in the morning, feeling for Madonna next to you, pinching yourself when you realize she's not there, shooting your fist up in the air and yelling "YES!" You literally get to be the happiest man in the world every single morning.

Jesus Luz and Madonna leaving the Kabbalah Centre in New York (2/28)

Guy Ritchie has a catchy nickname for his ex-wife Madonna: Stupid Whore Bitch "It." A source told The Sun:

"Guy will say, ‘Oh, It’s in a bad mood today’. Even towards the end of their marriage, he would call her It. He told people, ‘We can’t make It angry’. There is absolutely no love lost between them." (Source)

"It" is a pretty good way to describe Madonna, but as long as Guy is using movie titles, he should have gone with The Abyss, The Thing, or Outbreak. Of course since he's walking away from the marriage with a little over $50 million, I guess he could have also referred to her as The Bank Job. But don't think Madonna's not coming up with her own nicknames. She affectionately refers to her new boyfriend Jesus Luz as Grandma's Boy.