Archive: Guy Ritchie

Madonna and Guy Ritchie not wearing their wedding rings

Fueling rumors that a split is imminent, both Madonna and her husband Guy Ritchie were spotted without their wedding rings over the weekend (Madonna in New York and Guy in London). Ritchie is supposedly flying to New York this week in an attempt to work things out with his wife — though he’s been advised by her doctors to use terms like “reconcile” and “conciliate” when he meets with her. Apparently if you use the words “work” and “out” near Madonna, she totally freaks out. “Work out?!? Gym?!? Where?!? MUST . . . LIFT . . . SOMETHING . . . HEAVY . . . REPEATEDLY.”

[Splash News, BauerGriffinOnline]

But they look so happy . . .

There’s been talk over the last few months that Madonna and Guy Ritchie’s seven-year marriage was falling apart and the two were on the verge of a split. A source revealed to UK tabloid the Daily Mirror that the rumors aren’t rumor: the two are definitley divorcing:

Madonna told Guy Ritchie she wants a divorce after the couple agreed they had fallen out of love. They admitted to each other that their seven-year marriage was doomed because they had simply drifted apart.

A friend said last night: “They were both very calm. Madonna told Guy: ‘I’m sorry, I want a divorce’. And he agreed. It was quite painless but very sad. [Guy’s] a bit down in the dumps, and who can blame him. He’s off to the country to get a bit of peace and quiet.”

Both parties have now talked to divorce lawyers to ensure that the break-up is orderly and as amicable as possible. Without a pre-nuptial agreement, Guy could be looking at up to £50million of Madge’s £300million fortune. (Source)

The most heartbreaking aspect of this whole divorce is that their son Rocco will now be forced to grow up in a broken home. I guess he better get used to asking one important question over and over and over and over again: “Excuse me mister, are you my new daddy?”

NOTE: Now that she’s no longer married to Guy, I wonder if Madonna will drop his last name . . . along with his accent?

[WENN]

Bauer-Griffin

Along with husband Guy Ritchie, Madonna was seen in London last night carrying a bag with a new strap-on dildo, the 6″ Purple Penetrator, inside. AnnSummer.com describes the Purple Penetrator as the following:

Strap it on and slip it in!! 6″ dildo with adjustable waist and back strap to fit all sizes. Comes with perfectly positioned vibrating bullett to give the wearer clitoral stimulation whilst pleasuring her mate! Fitted with multispeed battery box, just adjust the vibration to suit, and then clip to the waistband for total hands free pleasure. (Source)

I know it goes without saying but, dude, that’s pretty gay. Like on a scale of 1-10, it’s coming in at a solid 15. For Christ’s sake the thing has “Penetrator” in it’s name–there’s really no other explanation as to why Madonna would be carrying it around. What a shame for Guy. Once you get pegged as a man that enjoys strap-ons, there’s no digging out of that hole. He might as well wear a scarlet ‘S’ across his chest.

Bauer-Griffin

If Madonna wants to keep up with the young Hollywood set, she’s doing a poor job of it. For Christ’s sake, mix in a little driving.

Following in the footsteps of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, Madonna and husband Guy Ritchie are planning to go orphan shopping in Africa:

The couple are set to fly to Malawi, in southeast Africa, to meet the president Bingu Wa Mutharika and finalize legal details with adoption lawyers.The pair already have two children — a son together, 6-year-old Rocco, and Madonna’s daughter, 10-year-old Lourdes, from a previous relationship.

An insider tells the British newspaper The People, “Originally Madonna and Guy planned to adopt only one child. But when they were told that might mean breaking up a family unit they immediately said they would take siblings or twins if that was the right thing to do. They want the children to be as young as possible but are prepared to take kids up to the age of 4. And they are also willing to consider a child with special needs arising from being abandoned in an orphanage.”

What’s up with this Hollywood trend of adopting orphans from poor African countries? I miss the old fashioned way of making babies: dinner, date, and a visit from ol’ Uncle Roofie. The only way these orphans could become more trendy is if they all had Louis Vuitton stamped across their foreheads.