Golden Globes

Someone forgot to shave . . . for five years

I've seen some publicity stunts in my day, but The Rock donning a dress and heels to walk the red carpet at the Golden Globes last night has to rank near the -- what's that? That's actually Mo'nique? . . . *slowly takes step away from story*

Remember, if we never talk about these pics again, they never happened.

Lindsay Lohan at the 11th Annual Warner Brothers and InStyle Golden Globes afterparty (1/17)

Wait a minute, how the hell did Lindsay Lohan get into a Golden Globes afterparty? Dammit  Frank the security guard, did you leave the side door open again? I told you undesirables would sneak in. You are so fired dude.

Mariah Carey at the Golden Globes last night at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills

And I do mean bountiful. Interestingly, just a few minutes after this picture was taken of Mariah, Joe Francis gave her a free t-shirt. True story.

In The Gallery: Mariah Carey and her assistant Nick Cannon, Mad Men's Christina Boobs (that's her name, right?), and Halle Berry

Darren Aronofsky flipping off Mickey Rourke

After receiving 18 complaints from viewers, the FCC is investigating NBC's telecast of the Golden Globes for possible violations of indecency rules . . . because why wouldn't you waste taxpayer dollars investigating complaints by 18 of the 14.6 million people that watched the show? We can't just forget about that .000001 percent of viewers. The networks must adapt their programming to them. It's what our Founding Fathers fought for. From the Los Angeles Times:

Toward the end of the program, director Darren Aronofsky was caught on camera jokingly making an obscene gesture -- "flipping the bird," as it's commonly called -- at actor Mickey Rourke, who was onstage accepting an acting award for Aronofsky's film "The Wrestler." Rourke and other attendees also salted their speeches with occasional off-color language, some of which was bleeped by NBC censors.

Now the FCC, which regulates decency issues on the broadcast networks, has stepped into the fray. "We received 18 complaints about the Golden Globes telecast," FCC spokeswoman Edie Herman wrote in an e-mail to The Times, "and the commission is reviewing the matter." (Source)

If you're one of the 17* people that called the FCC to complain about a middle finger, do us all a favor and please kill yourself now. Or at least rip out your reproductive organs and set them on fire.

*The 18th was me. I called to complain about Mickey Rourke's face. That thing is just plain offensive.