Gisele Bundchen

Gisele Bundchen

Gisele Bundchen at a photocall for Pantene Expert in Sau Paulo, Brazil (4/3)

*15 Gisele pictures total in the gallery:

Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady at Carnival in Rio de Janeiro last March

Pretty much the entire sports world has been shitting on Gisele since she was overheard slamming the Patriots' receivers after the Super Bowl ("My husband cannot fucking throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. I can’t believe they dropped the ball so many times"). An anonymous [ugly] wife of one of the Patriots' players told the Chicago Sun Times that the comments weren't really a surprise:

"Gisele has very few friends among the wives. Of course, many are jealous of her looks and all that, but she doesn't make it easy to like her — since she obviously feels so superior to all of us."

Another source — close to a lot of the Patriots' wives — told me, "Gisele is . . . so stuck up and treats them all like yahoos. . . . In many cases, the other wives are not all that sophisticated, but Gisele has been openly snotty to several of them — making cracks about how they dress and use too much makeup. Stuff like that."

Umm, ladies? Gisele Bundchen is definitely superior to all of you. I hate to break it to you, but you are all yahoos with zero fashion sense. Some of you probably stink, too. Is that too harsh? You didn't really think that the world's top supermodel was a humble person with a heart of gold, did you? When you become supermodels like Gisele and myself, you'll discover that it's your duty to crap all over everyone's parade. Look at it this way: Giselle is taking heat because she's saying what you're all thinking about your loser, non-pass-catching husbands. So, instead of nipping at her heals like the yapping chihuahuas that you are, you should be thanking Gisele for the sacrifice she's making for you.

*21 Gisele and Tom Brady pictures total in the gallery:

Gisele consoling her Tommy after the loss

After being taunted by some Giants' fans last night after the game ("Eli owns your husband!"), Gisele was overheard ripping the New England Patriots' receivers, saying:

"My husband cannot fucking throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. I can’t believe they dropped the ball so many times."

Is it the Patriots' receivers fault they lost the game last night? Or is that succubus Gisele's fault?

Tom Brady before hooking up with Gisele's cursed vagina in late 2006:

• Winner, Super Bowl XXXVI (2002)
• Winner, Super Bowl XXXVIII (2004)
• Winner, Super Bowl XXXIX (2005)

Tom Brady after hooking up with Gisele's cursed vagina in late 2006:

• Loser, Super Bowl XLII (2008)
• Loser, Super Bowl XLVI (2012)

Even Yoko Ono wasn't this much of a wet blanket. Robert Kraft needs to get this bitch deported.

*5 Gisele and Tom Brady pictures total in the gallery:

Gisele in Costa Rica last August

The New York Post managed to get a hold of an email Gisele sent to all of her beautiful (*I'm assuming) friends and family about the upcoming Super Bowl featuring her husband Tom Brady. And it's pretty damn whiny considering Tom and Gisele are worth a combined bajillion dollars and the outcome of Sunday's game -- positive or negative -- will have little to no impact on their future life together whatsoever:

"I feel Tommy really needs our prayer, our support and love at this time," Bundchen wrote in the message sent out to Brady-clan insiders. "My sweet friends and family. This sunday will be a really important day in my husband's life. He and his team worked so hard to get to this point and now they need us more than ever to send them positive energy so they can fulfill their dream of winning this super bowl . . . So I kindly ask all of you to join me on this positive chain and pray for him, so he can feel confident, healthy and strong. Envision him happy and fulfilled experiencing with his team a victory this sunday.

"Thank you for your love and support. Love, G :)"

Awe, look at what doll face Gisele Bundchen prays for. Isn't that sweet? Here's a list of things I pray for:

• World peace
• A cure for cancer
• For models and starlets to let me have a few hours of sleep between rounds of lovemaking

Here's what I don't pray for:

• Multimillionaire NFL quarterbacks with supermodel wives to win a fourth Super Bowl

Gisele, you and your kissable face are adorable. I love how innocent you are, but lets be honest, I think we can all agree that God has blessed you and your boy toy enough. How 'bout throwing me some scraps?

*20 Gisele pictures total in the gallery:

Gisele on pace to become a billionaire

So I guess Gisele's new clothing line is taking off and she's on pace to become the first billionaire supermodel. Nice work if you can get it. From the Daily Mail:

Launched last May, the Gisele Bundchen Brazilian Intimates range has proved popular in Latin America, Portugal, Japan, and Israel and now further expansion is expected. The former Victoria's Secret Angel premiered her collection, for Brazilian retailer Hope, in Sao Paulo last May. After the 40-piece collection hit stores across Brazil, Hope reported a 40 percent increase in turnover.

Now, the range is expected to be a hit with shoppers worldwide. And with her products endorsements and business ventures earning a total of £29 million last year, Bundchen is now believed to be on track to becoming the world's first billionaire supermodel.

What's going on with the Federative Republic of Brazil? If they spent half as much time cultivating its economy instead of supermodels and MMA fighters, it wouldn't be a third-world nation. Don't get me wrong, Gisele earned the money for being pretty, I guess, but one billion dollars? It makes my 70 million look measly, and I really earned it. I mean ANYBODY can pose for pictures, but can they sell their own semen to make uber humans like I do? I suggest that they can not.

*20 Gisele pictures total in the gallery:

Gisele Bundchen in the November issue of Harper's Bazaar Brazil

+ BREAKING: Sofia Vergara has a large chest [IDLYITW]

+ Amanda Seyfried showing off her ass [Drunken Stepfather]
+ LeAnn Rimes goes braless [The Superficial]
+ Courteney Cox flashes her panties (NSFW) [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Anne Hathaway flashes the bling [Celebuzz]

+ Um, holy shit [Evil Beet]
+ In creepy mustache news . . . [Socialite Life]
+ Hell gorgeous [Double Viking]
+ Fatty! [I'm Not Obsessed]

LIST OF THE DAY: The 17 Hottest Teachers in Movie History

*8 Gisele pictures total in the gallery:

I spy . . . a penis

When did Brazil turn into 1890's Utah? Seriously, get the stick out of your ass Brazil. I thought you were cool. From Breitbart:

Brazil's Ministry for Women called Wednesday for the suspension of a television ad featuring lingerie-clad supermodel Gisele Bundchen, saying it reinforces the stereotype of women as sex objects.

In the ads for the Brazilian intimate wear brand "Hope," Bundchen is clad in panties, a bra and high heels, in an effort to distract her husband when she delivers bad news -- about damaging the car, exceeding her credit limit, and her mother coming to live with them.

The TV ads send a message "that sensuality can melt any man" and "encourages Brazilian women to use their charms... to minimize the reactions of their husbands," the ministry said.

What the hell is wrong with Brazil's government? The only thing of value that that shithole country produces are hot women -- why try to curb that? That would be like telling Saudi Arabia to stop producing oil or Japan to stop making anime porn. No, if anything, Brazil should be encouraging its models to wear LESS clothing . . . you know, to collect more tax revenue through the increase in hand lotion sales.

*25 Gisele pictures total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Friday, September 23

Gisele leaving a gym in Boston (pics start here)

Maria Menounos and A.J. Calloway filming a segment for Extra in New York (pics start here)

Celebrity chef Giada de Laurentiis at the 27th annual Dream Ball at Cipriani in New York (pics start here)

Halle Berry at Palma de Mallorca Airport in Spain (pics start here)

Olivia Wilde out and about in the West Village of New York (pics start here)

Emma Roberts out and about in Manhattan (pics start here)

Jennifer Lopez on the set of Parker in Palm Beach, FL (pics start here)

Topher Grace heading to a gym in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Sandra Bullock leavng a gym in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Paula Abdul outside Fox News studios in New York (pics start here)

Angelina Jolie and her son Maddox boarding a plane at Blackbushe Airport in Hampshire, UK for a flying lesson (pics start here)

Melissa Molinaro leaving the "Get Lucky for Lupus" poker tournamenet in L.A. (pics start here)

Hilary Duff out and about in Toluca Lake (pics start here)

Olivia Palermo shooting a commercial for Rochas at the Louvre Rivoli in Paris, France (pics start here)

*117 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

Gisele is a menace

Gisele is behind the wheel -- RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!! SHE'S OUT OF CONTROL!!! From the San Francisco Chronicle:

Gisele Bundchen, supermodel and wife of New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, was stopped for speeding over the weekend and given a verbal warning by a Massachusetts state trooper.

State police spokesman David Procopio says Bundchen was going about 70 mph in a 55 mph zone on state Route 6 in Barnstable when she was stopped Saturday. Procopio says two children were in the Cadillac SUV, properly fastened in car seats. The trooper reminded Bundchen that the speed limit on Route 6 is 55, and let her go on her way.

Of course the cop let her go -- she's a world famous supermodel. She could have had body parts strewn around the inside of the car and this dude still would have just given her a warning. This is just another example of how extremely good-looking people always get away with whatever they want. How do you think I built up this stockpile of delicious candy? Stealing from babies, motherfucker.

*15 Gisele pictures total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Monday, July 11

Gisele Bundchen leaving a gym in L.A. (pics start here)

Jensen Ackles on the set of Supernatural in Vancouver (pics start here)

Sarah Chalke paddleboarding in Hawaii (pics start here)

Fivel Stewart at the premiere of Winnie the Pooh at Walt Disney Studios in Burbank (pics start here)

Kendra Wilkinson at Club 207 at the Hard Rock Hotel in San Diego (pics start here)

Julianne Hough and her mom Marianne Hough in Miami Beach (pics start here)

Harrison Ford leaving the Brentwood Country Mart (pics start here)

Helen Hunt leaving Louise's Trattoria in Brentwood (pics start here)

Sam Jones and Karissa Shannon out and about in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Ciara arriving for a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)

Ashlee Simpson and her new boyfriend Vincent Piazza in New York (pics start here)

Nicole Kidman arriving to the BAFTA "Brits to Watch Gala" at the Belasco Theatre in L.A. (pics start here)

Khloe Kardashian shopping in Malibu (pics start here)

*113 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery: