Gerard Butler

Gerard Butler filming Of Men and Mavericks in Santa Cruz (10/14)

(Note: apologies for the lateness of some of these posts. On vacation right now and apparently Mexico isn't known for its telecom infrastructure. Who knew?)

Gerard Butler almost died on the set of Of Men and Mavericks on Monday. Oh, did I mention "the set" was the infamous Mavericks surf break in Northern California? Because "the set" was the infamous Mavericks surf break in Northern California. Gerard was sucked under the water by a few huge waves and then tossed against some rocks. The actor was taken to Stanford Medical Center, examined, poked, prodded, called an idiot, and released. Huffington Post says:

Butler was held underwater for two waves and washed through some rocks while tethered to his surfboard, Wormhoudt said. A safety patrolman on a Jet Ski swooped in and picked up the actor ... Maverick's cold water and giant waves have made it a Mt. Everest-like conquest for some surfers. And it has impacted many lives, whether it be the death of legendary big wave waterman or serious injury to less experienced surfers seeking to make a name for themselves.

According to Gerard, the scene was actually going as planned until he realized that he wasn't a professional surfer and had no fucking clue what he was doing. But that one-armed chick makes it look so easy!

*5 Gerard Butler pictures total in the gallery:

Sarah Carroll outside Katsuya restaurant in Hollywood (7/22)

You know that annoying chick from the T-Mobile "Sparah" ads? Gerard Butler probably had sex with her last week. Good for him. From Life & Style:

"Gerard and Sarah met at the premiere for his movie Machine Gun Preacher at the Chateau Marmont in LA on Sept. 21," a source close to Gerard tells Life & Style. "She spoke to him and he charmed her. It was love at first sight! They had a hot hookup after the afterparty."

Though she's being coy about the details, she's not keeping the budding romance a secret. "Um. Gerard Butler just hugged me," Sarah tweeted on Sept. 22. "Called me a good friend. AND invited me to the Chateau. Die twice." Later that day, Sarah spoke about the experience on Sparah.com. "I met Gerard Butler, he's super nice!" she says on the video blog.

What's the big deal here? The whole point of being an A-List celebrity is getting to nail all the Z-List celebrities trying to break into the business. If Gerard didn't want to have sex with hot ass every single night, then he wouldn't have become a movie star in the first place -- he'd have become a celebrity blogger. You know, because we only have sex every OTHER night . . . wait, masturbating still counts as sex, right? OK, whew. It'd be embarrassing still being a virgin.

*17 Sarah Carroll pictures total in the gallery:

Jessica Biel and Gerard Butler?

Is Gerard Butler currently cornholing Jessica Biel? Sure, why not. From Us Weekly:

Just five days after announcing her split with beau of four years Justin Timberlake, Jessica Biel was spotted cozying up to her Playing the Field costar Gerard Butler. Currently filming the flick in Shreveport, Louisiana, Biel and the 300 hunk were first spotted out for a crew member's birthday at a Japanese restaurant on March 15.

"When Gerry got there, he made a beeline for Jessica," an eyewitness tells Us. "He was really flirting with her."

Two nights later, the duo was seen throwing back margaritas at a Mexican restaurant. And that's not all, Biel and Butler shared two more dinners later that week!

Still a source close to the actress says, "She only wants to be friends."

Right, they "just want to be friends." Because most guys go out drinking and flirting with girl "friends" who also happen to have one of the nicest asses on earth. Frankly, the real reason why Gerard and Jessica haven't been more vocal about their relationship is probably because they don't have a movie coming out this week. General rule of thumb: If a celebrity is constantly spotted with another celebrity in public, they probably have something to promote. Or, you know, they're just a huge slut. *cough*lohan*cough*

*15 Jessica Biel pictures total in the gallery:

Gerard Butler has a wandering finger

So the guy on the right is Gerard Butler. And the woman in the middle with the finger up her ass is Jennifer Aniston. Damn, Gerard is one lucky bastard. Usually I have to wait until a girl passes out to do that to her. And I bet he didn't even have to post bail the next morning. Movie stars get all the breaks.

Gerard Butler at Cosmopolitan magazine's Fun Fearless Males of 2010 at The Mandarin Oriental Hotel in New York (3/1)

Note to Gerard Butler: You could probably have sex with Hayden Panettiere if you wanted to. Cool! From the New York Daily News:

Hayden Panettiere was chatting with pals at the Vanity Fair/Brioni Artists for Peace and Justice benefit in L.A. when she saw Gerard Butler walk in - without Jennifer Aniston. "Oh, my God!" she whispered. "Gerard Butler is here!" The newly brunette beauty politely waited for her chance to flirt with the older hunk, who was surrounded by other lovelies.

Obviously Hayden was interested in Gerard -- he has the one trait that she looks for in every man she goes out with: looks fame a birthday that comes two decades before hers (see here, here, here, and here). If Hayden really wants to hook up with one of Hollywood's most sought-after bachelors, she's going to have to convince him that she's worthy -- which means she'll be forced to do something she's never had to do before: act.

Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler in Cabo San Lucas (2/7)

You know how Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler are dating/fooling around? Well he may finally be "the one." Yes, you read this same story in 2006, 2007, 2008, and 2009. From the Chicago Sun Times:

Jennifer Aniston inviting Gerard Butler to her early birthday celebration this past weekend in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, with her inner circle of pals comes as no surprise to other close Aniston friends.

One longtime business associate and buddy of the actress told me Sunday, "Gerard may finally be the one for Jen. ... Yes, he's gorgeous, but he's also got one helluva a great sense of humor -- and you've got to understand that's really important to her. Unlike Brad [Pitt] -- who also could be very funny at times -- Gerard does not seem to have those big mood swings or a dark side, as do so many actors."

A source at the One & Only resort in Cabo said Sunday, "Jennifer and Gerard are definitely a couple again. They were constantly touching and hugging and looking very happy to be in each other's company."

Jen should know by now that there's only one thing a chick can tell a guy in the early stages of a relationship that's more of a turnoff than he's "the one": "I have a penis" "Please wear a condom." If Jen really wants this relationship to last, hopefully she didn't buy Gerard the same gift she bought her last boyfriend on Valentine's Day: a First Response Ovulation Test.

Jennifer Aniston bikini candids! (Los Cabos, Mexio - 2/5)

Apparently Jennifer Aniston didn't hear those rumors about Gerard Butler hooking up with Reese Witherspoon. Because she went to down to Cabo with him (and Courteney Cox and Sheryl Crow) over the weekend to celebrate her 41st birthday. I gotta hand it to Gerard, he is in a very good place with Jen right now. He can pretty much do anything to her premenopausal ass and she'll still crawl back to him. "Gerard, of course I'm not mad at you for microwaving my cat to death. It smelled anyway. Now, MAKE A BABY INSIDE OF ME!"

*49 Jennifer Aniston Cabo vacation pictures total in the gallery:

Reese Witherspoon leaving a gym in Santa Monica (1/22)

Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler haven't even officially come out as a couple yet and he's already messing around on her. With Reese Witherspoon. You know what that means . . . Chick fight! Chick fight! From Star:

“Reese’s friends are giggling about her secretly meeting up with Gerard. She thinks he’s superhot!” a friend of the actress told Star. “Reese is just having a good time with him. They’ve hung out a few times, mostly at his place in L.A.”

The two showed an interest in each other after producers at New Line Cinema approached them a few months ago to read scripts together for a new movie. “New Line thought Reese and Gerard would make a hot on-screen couple. They got very chatty while reading the scripts, and there was noticeable chemistry. After that reading, they started talking and hanging out.”

They most recently met up on Jan. 22 at an after party for the Hope for Haiti Now fund-raiser at L.A.’s Sunset Tower Hotel. But the friend says that Reese, 33, isn’t looking for anything serious with the 40-year-old actor, especially since she still cares for ex-boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal.

“Reese doesn’t want to hurt Jake’s feelings and doesn’t want him to know about her and Gerard. She’s not interested in taking it a step further with Gerard — and that’s how she wants to keep it.”

Poor Jen. History just keeps repeating itself with her. She finally finds what she thinks is the man of her dreams and he skips out on her for a woman 30 years younger than her (or is it 31?). Considering how often this sort of thing keeps happening to her, it's become pretty clear that Jen has yet to learn the one true secret to keeping any man: blow jobs silence.

Jennifer Aniston at the Golden Globe Awards (1/18)

Surprise, surprise, Jennifer Aniston is moving way too fast with a guy yet again. She went from "liking" Gerard Butler to "move in with me" in about a week. From the National Enquirer:

The couple split last September after a brief summer romance, but reunited in January to promote their new film, The Bounty Hunter. And during a recent whirlwind, champagne-fueled weekend of flirting and public kisses, Jennifer propositioned Gerard with an offer too good to refuse, revealed an insider

"Gerard could barely contain his excitement when Jen suggested that he move into her Beverly Hills mansion," continued the insider. "Before the words, 'Move in with me,' were out of Jen's mouth, Gerard shouted out, 'Yes!' He loves spending time with Jen and thinks they'll have a ball living together."

"Jen feels like her summer fling with Gerard was a test-run," explained the insider. "The timing was wrong then, but now that she has had a chance to re-evaluate - she wants to give love another try. Jennifer has spent the past few years remodeling her $15 million Beverly Hills mansion, and there's nothing she wants more than to have someone to share it with. And she believes Gerard is just the kind of man she has been looking for."

Great idea Gerard. You're one of the most sought after single men in Hollywood right now, and you're thinking about moving in with a woman who's old enough to be the mother of the 17* and 18-year-old chicks you should be banging. Obviously Gerard doesn't realize that there's a name given to men that move in with a woman and throw away any chance they have of actually having fun and sleeping around with multiple chicks: sucker husband.

*it's all legal in Mexico, baby

Did he just run a marathon or something?

When you're famous, you don't really need much of a game to hook up with strippers. Exhibit A: Gerard Butler at West Hollywood's Voyeur nightclub earlier this week. From E!:

"Gerard was with his usual wingman and best friend from New York. They make a great tag team and kept busy flirting with all types of beautiful women," our spy tells us. "Gerard had his eye on a dark-haired, olive-skin[ned] girl from early on in the night. She danced on a small stage by his table and made eyes at him with an attempt of getting him to notice her, and it worked!"

So what was his big opening line?

"Hi, I'm Gerry," he reportedly said. "You are very good at what you do."

What a charmer!

The dancer seemed "thrilled" and sat down at his table after covering up with a blazer.

It must be nice being Gerald and getting the affection of strippers without having to do what I normally do: flash a wad of $100s $20s roll of nickels. Of course if Gerald really wants to bang someone who's exposed their body to further their career, he doesn't need to go out with a stripper. He can just call up Sharon Stone or anyone on The Jersey Shore.