Fergie

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The infamous Fergie piss pants

It took almost ten years, but Fergie has finally addressed that time she pissed herself on stage in San Diego back in 2005. Yes, it was piss. No, it wasn't water. Yes, she wanted to crawl into a tiny hole, never to be seen again. Via the Daily Mail:
Talking on the Ebro in the Morning show on Hot 97 on Thursday ... Fergie explained that she was rushing to get onstage and had no time to visit the lavatory.

"It does not just happen all the time," she said. "We were late for stage, driving down the freeway, it's Friday traffic...get to the stage, we have to start right the show. I'm running on and we jump and do Let's Get It Started, and I get crazy and I jump and I run across the stage and my adrenaline was going and gosh. I wish it didn't happen...It was so embarrassing!"
I don't know about you, but I try to bury the thoughts of all the times I pissed myself into the deep recesses of my memory (it's getting pretty full -- thanks whiskey!). Fergie on the other hand likes to publicly talk about it. What a weirdo. She probably also likes spiders and Coldplay. Eeeeeek!

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Paparazzi photos from Saturday, August 17 and Sunday, August 18

Fergie leaving at her baby shower in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Courteney Cox shopping at Fred Segal in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Kirsten Dunst leaving a gym in Studio City (pics start here)

Maria Menounos getting ready to film EXTRA at The Grove in Los Angeles (pics start here)

Zac Efron leaving a doctor's office in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Hilaria Thomas walking to her spa appointment in Greenwich Village (pics start here)

Natalie Portman walking her dog in Los Feliz (pics start here)

Kylie Jenner out with friends on Melrose in Los Angeles (pics start here)

Vanessa Hudgens and her boyfriend Austin Butler going to lunch in Studio City (pics start here)

Heidi Klum and Martin Kristen shopping in Los Angeles (pics start here)

Eva Longoria leaving a nail salon in Hollywood (pics start here)

Ashley Tisdale going to a friends house in Los Angeles (pics start here)

*118 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

  • Fergie Ready to Pop 1
  • Fergie Ready to Pop 2
  • Fergie Ready to Pop 3
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Paparazzi photos from Saturday, June 1 and Sunday, June 2

Fergie arriving at a baby shower in Bel Air (pics start here)

Selena Gomez shopping in Studio City (pics start here)

Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis shopping in Los Angeles (pics start here)

Jennifer Lopez and her boyfriend Casper Smart leaving their hotel in London (pics start here)

Mary J. Blige leaving The Dorchester Hotel in London (pics start here)

Shakira shopping at Fred Segal in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Reality star Lisa Vanderpump (The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills) eating at Madeo in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Brandi Glanville leaving Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Leonardo DiCaprio watching the French Open in Paris (pics start here)

Kristin Cavallari arriving to a photoshoot in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Leslie Mann out and about in New York (pics start here)

Derek Jeter arriving at his home in New York (pics start here)

*123 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

  • Fergie Pregnant Dress 1
  • Fergie Pregnant Dress 2
  • Fergie Pregnant Dress 3
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Fergie and Josh Duhamel arriving on a flight at LAX airport (4/8)

Fergie told Us Weekly that her husband Josh Duhamel wanted to knock her up on their first date. Hmmm, is it because she looked like a stripper? Because Josh loves strippers. Even more than sacred wedding vows.
The 38-year-old singer added that Duhamel, her husband of more than four years, knew that he wanted to be a dad from the couple's very first date.

"[Josh] has been amazing," Fergie told Us Weekly at the LOGO New Now Next awards on Saturday, April 13. "He's so nice and wonderful and he sings and talks to my belly all the time. He's very complimentary. I'm very lucky that he is really good to me ... He's going to be an amazing father. He's just got natural parenting instincts and he wanted to knock me up from our first date! He is ready!"
It's funny how reality is based solely on perception. Fergie looks at Josh Duhamel as a love at first sight-type of fella who wanted to start a family immediately -- a relationship written in the stars, if you will. That's a wonderful fairy tale, isn't it? Josh on the other hand was probably not so romantic. He probably saw her as an easy lay who wouldn't worry about a condom if she got drunk enough -- which would have also been my assumption based on the image that Fergie has worked so hard to create. That's pretty much the deal when your biggest single to date is an ode to your hump, your hump, your lovely little lumps.

*20 Fergie and Josh Duhamel pictures total in the gallery:

  • Fergie Pregnant Talk 1
  • Fergie Pregnant Talk 2
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Fergie arriving on a flight at LAX airport (10/9)

In an interview last week with Oprah on her network (that's why no one actually saw it), Fergie admitted that, back in the day when she was hooked on meth, she used to weigh 90 pounds. Paging Jessica Simpson . . .
"My brain had been playing a lot of tricks on me. You're kind of living in this alternate reality. I started getting really paranoid. So I went one day into this church and I thought that the FBI and the SWAT teams were outside the church ... so I had a conversation with God ... and I said, 'Alright, if I go out there and the FBI and the SWAT team's not out there, then it's the drugs and I'm stopping.'

"I went outside of the church ... and there was no SWAT team, there was no FBI, just me and God. And I kept my promise. That day. That was it ... At first, with any drug, it's great in the beginning, then slowly your life starts to spiral down. [I was] 90 pounds at one point."
So were the FBI and/or SWAT team after Fergie or what? You know, the bright spot about drug abuse is that it makes boring people fun, and fun people awesome. Fergie sounds like a ton of fun -- or at least she will be if she keeps gaining weight. I wonder if she thought the government was coming after her for being too fat, or pissing her pants in public? As any doctor can tell you, weighing more than 90 lbs. and losing control of your bladder in public aren't illegal, just reprehensible.

*10 Fergie pictures total in the gallery:

  • Fergie Drug Stories 1
  • Fergie Drug Stories 2
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Fergie at the 54th Annual GRAMMY Awards at the Staples Center in L.A. (2/12)

Of course other things happened this weekend besides Whitney Houston dying. Like the Grammys on Sunday. That's Fergie wearing god knows what on the red carpet. I think she lost a bet.

*21 Fergie pictures total in the gallery:

  • Fergie Grammys Dress 1
  • Fergie Grammys Dress 2
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Fergie arriving on a flight at LAX (10/1)

According to Flynet, Fergie may be pregnant. She was spotted at LAX over the weekend in a baggy top which covered her stomach -- a tell-tale indicator of a baby bump. Now if you'll pardon me, I need to go punch myself in the balls for using the phrase "baby bump" in a sentence, and also writing a story about Fergie and not using the words "bulging" or "cock." What the hell is happening to me?

*16 Fergie pictures total in the gallery:

  • Fergie Pregnant Clothes 1
  • Fergie Pregnant Clothes 2
  • Fergie Pregnant Clothes 3
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Fergie and Josh Duhamel jogging in Calistoga, CA (9/25)

Here's some pics of Fergie and Josh Duhamel jogging over the weekend. I simply have to know where Fergie got those pants. You can barely see her cock. They would work perfectly for my Halloween costume as a hard-edged Southern lady. I'm the motherfucking belle of the ball!

*20 Fergie pictures total in the gallery:

  • Fergie Duhamel Joggers 1
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Fergie unveiling her wax statue at Madame Tussauds inside The Venetian in Las Vegas (9/22)

Fergie unveiled her wax statue at Madame Tussauds yesterday in Las Vegas, and is it just me, or is it kinda hot? It's definitely way hotter than Fergie, which is weird because these things are always a little freaky looking (see here, here, here). It's got a nice rack and a pretty nice body, and holy shit, am I really implying that I would fuck a wax statue? Amazing, it seems like every week I hit some kind of new, degenerative low on this site.

*29 Fergie pictures total in the gallery:

  • Fergie Wax Statue 1
  • Fergie Wax Statue 2
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Fergie and Josh Duhamel

So I guess Fergie is afraid that her husband Josh Duhamel is getting a little too close to his Transformers co-star Rosie Huntington-Whitely. Oh I'm sure she has nothing to worry about it. Josh would never violate the sanctity of his marriage like that. From the National Enquirer:
Pop rocker Fergie fears that her hubby Josh Duhamel will cheat again - this time with his gorgeous Transformers:Dark of the Moon co-star Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. The handsome actor and the Victoria's Secret model have been looking very chummy at promotional events for the film - and pals say Fergie is frantic that Josh is going to stray, sources tell The Enquirer.

"Fergie knows all too well that Josh has a wandering eye," said an insider. "And even though Rosie has been romantically linked to British action star Jason Statham since last year, she's a  very alluring young women. Fergie's been worried sick that she and Josh might hook up out on the road while promoting their movie."
This story is the exact reason I don't date outside of the international runway circuit. If I was to slum it with some loser Maxim model who was barely a 9, she'd be freaked out all the time that I was cheating on her. Such is life when you date/marry someone who simply isn't up to your level of attractiveness. *flexes in the mirror*

*23 Fergie and Josh Duhamel pictures total in the gallery:

  • Josh Duhamel Rosie Huntington Whiteley Affair 1
  • Josh Duhamel Rosie Huntington Whiteley Affair 2
  • Josh Duhamel Rosie Huntington Whiteley Affair 3
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