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Fergie is understanding

With Josh Duhamel allegedly cheating on her last month, Fergie must be already filing divorce papers, right? Wrong. This is Hollywood. Strippers happen. From Janet Charlton's Hollywood:

What IS Fergie thinking? Her husband Josh Duhamel has denied the National Enquirer story that he cheated on Fergie with a stripper in Atlanta. The stripper, who works at the appropriately named “Tattletales Lounge,” sold her one night stand tale to the tabloid and took a lie detector test. Here’s our take on the news: We think the story is absolutely true (we KNOW what lengths The Enquirer goes to in order to satisfy their lawyers to be able to print a story like this.) That said, we expected a denial from Josh, but don’t think Fergie will get terribly upset by the news anyway. She’s experienced in therock n roll lifestyle and she’s realistic. It’s just a bump in the road for their marriage.

There's a reason why Fergie is so understanding about her husband cheating on her -- she owns a mirror. Can you really blame Josh for wanting to hook up with some random skank? For once he wanted to have sex with a woman that pees sitting down . . . and uses a toilet. Let's just hope these two can move on from this whole ordeal and get back to their normal lives -- where Fergie is a top and Josh is a bottom.

Nicole Forrester, the stripper Josh Duhamel allegedly banged

It's about damn time Josh Duhamel cheated on Fergie. What the hell took him so long? FYI: I had "Sometime in December 2004" in my office pool. What a waste of 50 bucks that was. From Radar:

According to The Enquirer, Duhamel, 36, met stripper Nicole Forrester in early October at an all-nude club in Atlanta called Tattletales Lounge [Ed Note. How appropriate], where she performs under the name “Delilah.” Duhamel denies the report emphatically.

Duhamel was in Georgia filming the romantic comedy Life As We Know It, when he and a pal stopped by the club, according to the Enquirer's front-page story. Forrester says Josh first identified himself as “JD”, and said he was in town to make a porn movie. “I told him, ‘You are gorgeous’ and he said, ‘’You’re hot, too.’”

Forrester says after drinking Grey Goose vodka together, Duhamel had Nicole perform a nude dance for him and a male friend. She says before he left, they exchanged phone numbers, and on October 9th, he called her and invited her to his $820-a night room at the St. Regis hotel.

Forester goes on to describe their encounter, which led to sex, she says. The Enquirer article says that Forester passed a rigorous polygraph and that she was paid for telling her story.

Can you really blame Josh for cheating on Fergie? Sometimes a guy wants to have sex with the lights on. Hopefully Josh has learned a valuable lesson from this whole experience: that the bond between a husband and wife is sacred that he should always remember to pay strippers their hush money . . . and by "pay strippers their hush money," I mean "bury them in a shallow grave in the desert."

Fergie at the Players Room in Melbourne, Australia (10/9)

+ Hayden Panettiere kissing Madeline Zima [The Superficial]

+ Pam Anderson is naked again [IDLYITW]
+ Jessica Alba wearing retarded shorts [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Miley is crossing over into rap [OK! Magazine]
+ I love when drunk Russians fight [Holy Taco]

+ Here's what it looks like getting passed at 161 mph [College Humor]
+ Padma Lakshmi almost upskirt [Hollywood Tuna]
+ Nelly Furtado is a piece of ass [moejackson]
+ I would so do Amber Heard [Popoholic]
+ Jimmy Kimmel's pulling a Letterman [I'm Not Obsessed]

+ 52 best all natural celebrity boobs of all times [CityRag]
+ Sex, intrigue, and litigation on Oprah's private jet [A Socialite's Life]
+ Tricia Helfer and Grace Park looking sexy as hell in Maxim [Yeeeah!]
+ A little something for the ladies [popbytes]

Fergie bikini pictures!

Fergie in the Bahamas (April 2008)

Wow, Josh really looks like he's in love

Fergie and Josh Duhamel have finally settled into the normal routine of a married couple: fighting and more fighting. A source told the National Enquirer:

"Publicly they're painting a picture of sheer bliss, but behind the scenes, cracks in their young marriage are beginning to show. [Josh] is a traditional guy, and he wants a family, however Fergie doesn't seem capable of slowing down long enough to really consider children. She's the toast of the music world with Black Eyed Peas and has an incredibly hectic schedule touring, recording and performing.

"[Fergie] is doing a ton of publicity and even designing her own line of shoes. There aren't enough hours in the day for everything she wants to do. Plus, she's a major partier."

A recent incident at Hollywood's trendy Cinespace brought the couple's issues into the forefront, a source told The ENQUIRER.

"Fergie looked so drunk that night that she was basically throwing up as her security team escorted her out through the kitchen," the source said. "She'd been pounding back vodka and tequila. Josh was nowhere to be seen that night. You'd never think she was a newly married woman! Josh is still madly in love with her, and she loves him. But Josh wants Fergie to grow up."

If Josh is waiting for Fergie to come around on the whole children issue, he better learn patience. Because if there's one thing I learned in High School Biology (and that one drunken night in college that I should probably speak to a therapist about), it's that you can't make a baby if both people have a penis. If Josh really wants a kid, he should just do what everyone else in Hollywood does: adopt from Africa get a surrogate date Britney Spears.

Fergie leaving a recording studio in Hollywood (7/23)

+ That little kid is totally scoping out Hayden's tits [moejackson]

+ Miranda Kerr gets topless at a photo shoot [The Superficial]
+ Your Jessica Alba/Marisa Miller smoking hot pic of the week [College Humor]
+ Katie Price's boobs are outrageous [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Jamie Kennedy is such a douche [I'm Not Obsessed]

+ More pics of Olivia Munn's sexy ass at Comic-Con [Popoholic]
+ Mischa Barton released from the hospital [Just Jared]
+ Mila Kunis should never dress like this again [Hollywood Tuna]
+ Stacy Keibler can still rock a bikini [The Blemish]

+ One of the Jonas Brothers dumps his hot girlfriend [Dlisted]
+ A-Rod and Kate Hudson take their relationship public [Cele|bitchy]
+ Why are we still talking about this guy? [A Socialite's Life]
+ Celebrity nipples! [CityRag]

Fergie at Dodger Stadium in LA (7/19)

You know how I always make jokes about how Fergie has a penis?* Well she's not exactly helping. She was caught adjusting her package Sunday at Dodger Stadium. Now I'm not saying that she's a man, but there is a bumper sticker on her car that reads "Women Belong in the Kitchen, Not the Voting Booth."

*with a face like this, it's easy to see why

Fergie bikini pics!

Fergie in the Bahamas (April 2008)

Fergie and the Black Eyes Peas performing at the TMF Awards in Rotterdam (7/4)

Really, why wouldn't you buy someone a stripper pole as a wedding present? From the New York Post:

Josh Duhamel and Fergie (of the Black Eyed Peas) got a stripper pole as one of their wedding gifts, but according to Duhamel, "I've played on the pole more than she has." The actor tells Women's Health, "If you know my wife, she's a perfectionist and won't get on it until she's good, so she wants to take a class first. So the pole is really just decorative at this point."

Has there ever been a more appropriate quote from a guy married to a tranny than, "I've played on the pole more than she has"? Of course the real reason Fergie doesn't use the stripper pole has nothing to do with lack of practice and everything to do with lack of bladder control (see here). Considering her history, spinning on a pole would probably make her urinary tract explode faster than a Pinto in a fender bender.

Fergie arriving to a music studio in Burbank (4/29)

This story would be way hotter if Fergie wasn't the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde of female stars. Half the time she looks bangable (see above) and half the time she looks like a man. My penis is more confused than Jessica Simpson in a Barnes & Noble. From The Sun:

Pop beauty Fergie has become the latest celebrity to admit to a lesbian romp. Fergie, who married Josh Duhamel in January, told The Sun: “Put it this way, I’ve experimented definitely, but I have never had a steady girlfriend."

What is it lately with people announcing to the world the intimate details of their past? I long for the good ol' days when sexual experimentation was kept between you and the other six dudes that were in the Pasadena motel room with the Rastafarian chick that liked being tied up in Saran Wrap while her uncle watched from the hallway why I am telling you this. Alas, those were simpler times.