Rob Kardashian might be on The Biggest Loser
Rob Kardashian has gotten so fat that only reality television can save him. Apparently he's set to join the latest season of The Biggest Loser
. Dignity? What's that? From Star
It's a slur Rob Kardashian is used to hearing from his catty sisters, but now the overweight reality star is prepared to become a loser for real! Star can reveal that he's joining season 16 of NBC's hit weight-loss show, The Biggest Loser, in a desperate attempt to lose the estimated 80lbs. he's packed on over the past two years.
"Kris Jenner worked with E! executives and NBC to arrange a deal for Rob to join the show," says a confidant, revealing that in true Kardashian fashion, Rob may have put his health on the line for the sake of fame and fortune. "He's stopped trying to lose weight on his own because he needs to stay big to do the show, which could be a huge payday." (Print Edition - 8/4)
If Rob really wants to improve his future, he should skip the weight loss and focus more on losing letters from his last name. Sorry Rob, no matter how much weight you lose or TV appearances you make, the only thing people are going to think when they see you is "Hey, isn't that the dude whose sister was patient zero in Africa's Ebola outbreak?" Just kidding Rob -- when people see you, they won't think that; they'll think: "Who the fuck is that guy and why isn't he at home feeding his reindeer?"*15 Rob Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:
JWoww leaving New York Live studios in New York
(5/28) PUBLIC SERVICE ADVISORY
: If anything of yours has gone missing in the past 30 days (keys, purse, wallet, dog, child), there is a very good chance that JWoww ate it. You might want to question her.
*15 JWoww pictures total in the gallery:
KFed will always be fat
Shocking even himself, Kevin Federline announced
on Dec. 31 that he was the spokesman for a new diet plan:
Very proud to be a spokesman for The Fresh Diet. Also very happy it works. Getting shredded this year. #getfit #healthyliving #healthyfood #comegetyousome
According to the Daily Mail
, it's not exactly going too well:
But Kevin Federline must have slipped off the bandwagon as he was spotted wheeling a cart of chips and soda out of a grocery store in Calabasas, California on Sunday. The 35-year-old ex-husband of Britney Spears was looking coy as he piled the sugar-loaded carbonated drinks and oily snacks into his car, which bore no resemblance to the 'fresh, nutritionally balanced' meals advocated by the dieting company.
On the bright side, he made it three weeks before going on a chips and soda run. That's pretty good. Jonah Hill once made it four weeks without dipping a vegetable into ranch dressing. Kevin will eventually achieve that kind of willpower.
*15 Kevin Federline pictures total in the gallery:
Rob Kardashian on his way to eat, probably In Touch Weekly
says Rob Kardashian is so embarrassed about getting fat that he moved to Florida so everyone will leave him alone. Wait a minute . . . do they have food in Florida? Oh shit, I think I see a problem in his plan. From the mag:
On Nov. 13, [Rob] accompanied his sister Kim -- who's also been trying to slim down -- to Epione in Beverly Hills. "He is exploring his options," an insider tells the mag. As In Touch reported last week, Kim has been going to the facility for a procedure to reduce stretch marks and sagging, from which Rob may also benefit.
But Rob admits he's not relying solely on doctors to drop the 60 pounds he gained. "Right now, my focus is being healthy and working out," says the reality star, who recently relocated to Florida to escape public scrutiny, according to a source. "I hit the reset button on my life."
Whatever, fatso. Why is this even in In Touch Weekly
? It's only fat Bobby we're talking about -- he doesn't bring mama the loot, so he could give himself a 9mm lap-band surgical procedure to the dome and it wouldn't elicit so much as a shrug from Kris. I recommend that, in this holiday season, Rob earn himself a little fame the right way -- the Kardashian way -- and make a hardcore interracial porno just like Kris always wanted him to do. All the pieces are in place, we just need to pull Ray J out of retirement one last time. But don't worry, he'll do it. Being Brandy's brother is only landing him so much work these days, and Dancing with the Stars
won't return his calls. It's brutal out there.*10 Fat Rob Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:
Jonah Hill leaving a gym in West Hollywood
At least a few times a week, Jonah Hill is spotted leaving a gym in West Hollywood. Jonah Hill. A gym. I'm confused, does anyone know when gyms actually stopped having exercise equipment? Is that a recent trend?*15 Jonah Hills pictures total in the gallery:
Matthew Perry at LAX airport
When we last left Matthew Perry
, he was debuting his new ~100 pound weight gain at LAX on Friday. And here he is again at LAX on Tuesday looking even fatter, if that's possible. Let's be honest here. I don't think Matthew Perry is getting enough work to be at the airport twice within a few days. I honestly think he may just be there for the Cinnabon.*15 Matthew Perry pictures total in the gallery:
Keanu Reeves on the yacht Odessa in Cannes
"If I eat below 5,000 calories a day, the bus will EXPLODE! . . . err, something like that."*30 Keanu Reeves fat pictures total in the gallery:
Jonah Hill leaving Starbucks in Bel-Air
Hey, remember when Jonah Hills was skinny
? Yeah, I don't either. It's like trying to remember the Civil War.
"We knew we'd get you back, you little punk! Mwahahahaha!" - Calories to Jonah Hill, 2013*15 Fat Jonah Hill pics total in the gallery:
Mischa Barton shopping at Sunset Plaza in West Hollywood
I don't know why, but Mischa Barton went shopping yesterday in West Hollywood wearing 25 pairs of shorts. What a weirdo.UPDATE
: After further analysis, she's only wearing one pair of shorts and her ass just got really huge overnight. Is that gravy in the cup she's holding?*20 Mischa Barton pictures total in the gallery: