KFed will always be fat
Shocking even himself, Kevin Federline announced on Dec. 31 that he was the spokesman for a new diet plan:
Very proud to be a spokesman for The Fresh Diet. Also very happy it works. Getting shredded this year. #getfit #healthyliving #healthyfood #comegetyousomeAccording to the Daily Mail, it's not exactly going too well:
But Kevin Federline must have slipped off the bandwagon as he was spotted wheeling a cart of chips and soda out of a grocery store in Calabasas, California on Sunday. The 35-year-old ex-husband of Britney Spears was looking coy as he piled the sugar-loaded carbonated drinks and oily snacks into his car, which bore no resemblance to the 'fresh, nutritionally balanced' meals advocated by the dieting company.On the bright side, he made it three weeks before going on a chips and soda run. That's pretty good. Jonah Hill once made it four weeks without dipping a vegetable into ranch dressing. Kevin will eventually achieve that kind of willpower.
*15 Kevin Federline pictures total in the gallery:
Rob Kardashian on his way to eat, probably
In Touch Weekly says Rob Kardashian is so embarrassed about getting fat that he moved to Florida so everyone will leave him alone. Wait a minute . . . do they have food in Florida? Oh shit, I think I see a problem in his plan. From the mag:
On Nov. 13, [Rob] accompanied his sister Kim -- who's also been trying to slim down -- to Epione in Beverly Hills. "He is exploring his options," an insider tells the mag. As In Touch reported last week, Kim has been going to the facility for a procedure to reduce stretch marks and sagging, from which Rob may also benefit.Whatever, fatso. Why is this even in In Touch Weekly? It's only fat Bobby we're talking about -- he doesn't bring mama the loot, so he could give himself a 9mm lap-band surgical procedure to the dome and it wouldn't elicit so much as a shrug from Kris. I recommend that, in this holiday season, Rob earn himself a little fame the right way -- the Kardashian way -- and make a hardcore interracial porno just like Kris always wanted him to do. All the pieces are in place, we just need to pull Ray J out of retirement one last time. But don't worry, he'll do it. Being Brandy's brother is only landing him so much work these days, and Dancing with the Stars won't return his calls. It's brutal out there.
But Rob admits he's not relying solely on doctors to drop the 60 pounds he gained. "Right now, my focus is being healthy and working out," says the reality star, who recently relocated to Florida to escape public scrutiny, according to a source. "I hit the reset button on my life."
*10 Fat Rob Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:
Jonah Hill leaving a gym in West Hollywood (9/21)
At least a few times a week, Jonah Hill is spotted leaving a gym in West Hollywood. Jonah Hill. A gym. I'm confused, does anyone know when gyms actually stopped having exercise equipment? Is that a recent trend?
*15 Jonah Hills pictures total in the gallery:
Matthew Perry at LAX airport (8/13)
When we last left Matthew Perry, he was debuting his new ~100 pound weight gain at LAX on Friday. And here he is again at LAX on Tuesday looking even fatter, if that's possible. Let's be honest here. I don't think Matthew Perry is getting enough work to be at the airport twice within a few days. I honestly think he may just be there for the Cinnabon.
*15 Matthew Perry pictures total in the gallery:
Jonah Hill leaving Starbucks in Bel-Air (5/15)
Hey, remember when Jonah Hills was skinny? Yeah, I don't either. It's like trying to remember the Civil War.
"We knew we'd get you back, you little punk! Mwahahahaha!" - Calories to Jonah Hill, 2013
*15 Fat Jonah Hill pics total in the gallery:
Mischa Barton shopping at Sunset Plaza in West Hollywood (4/8)
I don't know why, but Mischa Barton went shopping yesterday in West Hollywood wearing 25 pairs of shorts. What a weirdo.
UPDATE: After further analysis, she's only wearing one pair of shorts and her ass just got really huge overnight. Is that gravy in the cup she's holding?
*20 Mischa Barton pictures total in the gallery:
Christina Aguilera arriving at In-N-Out Burger in West Hollywood (2/23)
Christina Aguilera stopped by In-N-Out in West Hollywood for lunch on Saturday, and if you've ever wanted to meet her, now's your chance, because I'm assuming she's still there. Right now. "Ma'am, if you want to stay any longer, you're gonna have to fill out this W-2."
*16 Christina Aguilera pictures total in the gallery: