Fatties

Mischa Barton shopping at Sunset Plaza in West Hollywood (4/8)

I don't know why, but Mischa Barton went shopping yesterday in West Hollywood wearing 25 pairs of shorts. What a weirdo.

UPDATE: After further analysis, she's only wearing one pair of shorts and her ass just got really huge overnight. Is that gravy in the cup she's holding?

*20 Mischa Barton pictures total in the gallery:

Michael Moore arriving for a flight at LAX airport (2/25)

Here's some pics of Michael Moore catching a flight at LAX earlier this week. On a completely unrelated note, if you have to pay for two seats, do you get twice the amount of free carry-ons?

*15 Michael Moore pictures total in the gallery:

Christina Aguilera arriving at In-N-Out Burger in West Hollywood (2/23)

Christina Aguilera stopped by In-N-Out in West Hollywood for lunch on Saturday, and if you've ever wanted to meet her, now's your chance, because I'm assuming she's still there. Right now. "Ma'am, if you want to stay any longer, you're gonna have to fill out this W-2."

*16 Christina Aguilera pictures total in the gallery:

Christina Aguilera at the 40th Anniversary American Music Awards Nominations at the JW Marriott at L.A. Live (10/9)

Wow, these pictures are a blast from the past. I feel like I've hopped in a time machine and traveled back 10 years. No, not because Christina is as hot as she was in 2002, before she gained 50 pounds. But because I'm pretty sure she's wearing the same dress she used to wear in 2002, before she gained 50 pounds. No, not the same style. The exact same dress. Seriously, does she have a fucking funhouse mirror in her closet? How could she think that looks good?

*31 Christina Aguilera pictures total in the gallery:

Jessica Simpson looking at a gym in L.A. (7/3)

The most important thing to remember about Jessica Simpson nowadays is that we shouldn't anger it. We shouldn't anger it at all.

*10 Jessica Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

Jonah Hill and George Clooney arriving back at their hotel in London (2/12)

I'm not gonna say I saw this coming (I totally did), but after losing a shitload of weight last year, Jonah Hill appears to be packing it all back on. Weird. You'd think having to fight off so much hot pussy day after day after day would be a workout in itself. I'm kidding of course. Jonah Hill might be the only actor in history nominated for an Oscar who's also a virgin. And not by choice.

*10 Jonah Hill pictures total in the gallery:

NOM NOM NOM

In an interview with Rachael Ray next week (quotes via Us Weekly), Jessica Simpson seems a little too comfortable with the fact that she's getting fat and crazy:

"This week it's peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, toasted. And then, I'll put some salt on my hand like I'm taking a tequila shot and then take a bite of the sandwich."

The 31-year-old Fashion Star mentor also admitted her emotions are a bit more heightened than usual. "That's the one thing about pregnancy -- I'll cry at the drop of a hat," she said. "Even a great souffle would make me cry."

You really can't blame Jessica for constantly talking about food (see here). If you're a reporter, what the hell else are you going to talk to her about? If I ever interviewed Michael Jordan, you better be sure I'd ask him about basketball. Likewise, with Jessica, I bet 60% of our interview would be about peanut butter and things she likes to put it on. "I love me some PB & Soda! I spread it near the drinkin' hole!"

*11 Jessica Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

Pierce Brosnan in Kauai, Hawaii (11/24)

+ Imogen Thomas is in a bikini (site NSFW) [Drunken Stepfather]

+ 2011 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show preview [Guyism]
+ Miley Cyrus should keep that tape there [Celebuzz]
+ Jennifer Aniston pokies (site NSFW) [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ I heart sexy cheerleaders [Busted Coverage]
+ Fatty! [Just Jared]

+ You know the old "sweatin' like a whore in church" saying . . . [Dlisted]
+ I'd like to be up Ayanna Jordan and coming [Linkiest]
+ Oh, we're still talking about bullying? [Evil Beet]
+ Erin Heatherton has mastered the art of the handbra [Pick Me Up News]

LIST OF THE DAY: The 5 best ways to celebrate Cyber Monday

*7 Pierce Brosnan pictures total in the gallery:

Britney Spears has REALLY been enjoying London

As part of her "Femme Fatale" tour, Britney Spears performed at the O2 Arena in London last night, and since my mom taught me that if I don't have anything nice to say, I shouldn't say anything at all, I'll just leave it at that. In related news, it looks like London sold out of fish and chips yesterday.

*30 Britney Spears pictures total in the gallery:

Steven Seagal out and about in Paris (10/21)

For some strange reason, Steven Seagal was in Paris last weekend. I say strange because there's no Taco Bells in Paris. How did he survive without his fourthmeal?

*5 Steven Seagal pictures total in the gallery: